Hot (28 page)
Meanwhile, somewhere in northern Wisconsin . . .
D
ude, this is depressing,” Fish said, as the prison van bumped over a rut in the road. His chains rattled.
“This is, like, worse than at the end of
The Lord of the Rings,
” Nald moaned. “Nine stupid hours, and then Frodo gets his finger cut off and has to go to the land of unfun with what’s-his-face
the wizard.”
“
This
is unfun, man.” Fish shifted on the hard seat.
“Liver and onions,” Nald muttered.
He was still, like, stunned. Who ate liver and onions? They should tell everyone that’s what they served in jail. That would
keep guys like him from robbing banks.
“The guy next to me had seconds,” Fish groaned in horror. “It looked like he was eating alien brains.”
“Gross! Alien brains.”
“And there’s no cable.”
“No Sci Fi Channel.”
“No Cartoon Channel.”
“No World Wrestling.”
“Dude, that’s a regular channel,” Fish pointed out.
“I don’t care,” Nald yelled, suddenly losing it. “They probably won’t let us watch it, anyway! We’re probably going to have
to watch
Jeopardy!
and Martha Stewart!”
“Martha Stewart?”
“Christ!” the guard guy yelled from the front of the van. “Will you two just shut up?”
The guy had a short temper. He’d been yelling that at them ever since they’d left the jail, an hour back. The van bumped again—really
hard this time—and stopped.
Guard Guy swore and got out of the van, slamming the door behind him.
“I think we’re stalled,” Fish said. He looked out the window, but Nald doubted he could see anything. It was black outside.
“I don’t care,” Nald said. He slumped in his seat.
Headlights glowed in the side window where Fish peered. The guard shouted from outside and thumped on the van door.
“Man,” Fish said. “That dude ought to switch off his high beams.”
The light was nearly blinding now. The guard pounded on the door harder. The van started to shake.
“Do you think we should open the door?” Nald asked.
Then a really loud horn blared really close. The door opened. Guard Guy stomped in looking very pissed and grabbed them by
their orange jumpsuits.
“Hey—” Fish started.
The guard dragged them out of the van violently.
Forty seconds later, Nald and Fish were at the side of the train tracks watching the prison van get hit by a train.
“Awesome!” Fish screamed as the train went
bam!
and the van flew up into the air.
“Dude!” Nald agreed in between jumping up and down. It was the best thing he’d ever seen in his life.
The train slowed after a while, and the van driver went to yell at the train engineer. A bunch of cop cars and ambulances
drove up with flashing lights even though no one was hurt. Nald stopped jumping and glanced around. Everyone was over looking
at the van wreck and talking on their radios and stuff. No one was paying any attention to them.
Nald had his first idea since Saturday. “Dude—”
But Fish was still thinking about the van getting hit. “Did you see the windshield pop out?”
“Dude—”
“And the look on that guard’s face. He was all, like,
Oh, shit!
”
“Dude—”
“And the tire that bounced off the back of the train?”
“Dude!” Nald yelled.
Fish stopped. “What?”
“Which way is Canada?”
Julia Harper
is a midwestern girl, born and bred. She grew up in St. Paul, Minnesota, then went to college at the University of Wisconsin
at Madison, where she majored in anthropology and took Shakespeare classes for fun. She spent one brief, ghastly summer doing
an archaeological survey in northern Wisconsin for the State Historical Society. During that time, she won the Tick Queen
title for most ticks on a person at any one time (thirty-six). Oddly, she did not contract Lyme disease.
Julia now makes her home in the tropically warm regions of central Illinois, where the snow never gets above one’s knees and
the cars hardly ever have to be jump-started in winter. She loves to hear from her readers. Please e-mail her at
[email protected]
or snail-mail her at PO Box 17134, Urbana, Illinois, 61803. Please visit her website at
www.juliaharper.com
for book excerpts,
contests, and author news.
THE DISH
Where authors give you the inside scoop!
From the desk of Julia Harper
Dear person reading the back of the book,
Obviously you are a woman (or a man! Nothing wrong with men reading romances!), who likes to get value for your dollar. Why
else would you be reading the end pages when you’ve already finished the book? As such I feel that you would find your money
well spent if you buy my book,
HOT
(available now). Here’s what you get if you buy
now
:
• SpongeBob and Yoda:
inept bank robbers with really bad senses of direction.
• Turner Hastings:
she’s determined to correct a terrible wrong—even if it means a life on the run.
•
FBI Special Agent
John MacKinnon:
he always gets his man . . . or woman.
• Calvin Hyman:
upright citizen by day, bank embezzler by night.
• Squeaky:
a harlequin Great Dane with an unfortunate name and a taste for pickled herring.
•
A bad tempered
badger
and at least a million
mosquitoes
.
•
Various and assorted villains, law enforcement personnel, and upstanding citizens of Winosha, Wisconsin.
But that’s not all! If you act now, I’ll throw in an exciting edge-of-your-seat
chase adventure
and a
hot
(no pun intended!)
romance
absolutely
free
!
So, hustle on down to your local bookstore and buy
HOT
. You won’t regret it. You have my guarantee!
Julia
From the desk of Lori Wilde
Dear Reader,
The best thing about writing a series is that you get to visit old friends again. Starting ONCE SMITTEN, TWICE SHY (on sale
now) was like coming home after a long journey as I reconnected with characters from my WEDDING VEIL WISHES series.
I just loved getting to know impulsive, but generous-to-the-bone, wedding videographer Tish Gallagher better. Boy, did she
have some surprises in store for me.
She didn’t make things easy for me, when, in order to pay her credit card bills, she wishes on a magic veil and her greatest
wish comes true in the form of a once-in-a-lifetime job—filming the first daughter’s wedding. Clearly, Tish had no idea how
much presidential research was involved or she didn’t care that I’d be burning the midnight oil trying to find out what the
inside of Air Force One looked like or how the Secret Service operated. Characters can be so selfish—no sympathy for us poor
authors.
But hehe! I got even with her. Tish gets a big surprise when she finds out the President’s daughter is marrying the ex-husband
she never stopped loving, Secret Service Agent Shane Tremont. And finances won’t let her walk away from the job, no matter
how much she might want to.
Problem is, although he’s about to walk down the aisle with the President’s daughter, Shane still loves Tish too!
I was halfway through the book when I figured out why these two—who are so obviously meant for each other—broke up in the
first place. What I discovered had me shedding a tear or two. So fair warning, you might need a hanky for this one because
when you wish on the wedding veil, it’s not the wish you think you want that comes true. It’s the secret wish of your heart.
Enjoy!
