Hospital in the Highlands (5 page)

CHAPTER SIX

F
lo’s natural equanimity had returned by morning. She had spent an hour, before sleeping, in writing to Jim, and somehow that had brought him nearer and compensated somewhat for the fact that in her heart she had been guilty of denying him.

There was a letter from him in the morning’s mail, and though she opened it eagerly she was soon sighing as she waded through whole paragraphs filled with gray details of affairs at the mine. If he had not signed himself “Yours—with all my love,” it might have been a brother’s letter or one from a casual friend.

“This sort of thing isn’t enough,” Flo complained bitterly, and she thought of the letter she had written in the quiet of the night, telling of her love and longing and loneliness, urging Jim to fly home and marry her, even though it meant going back again to finish his contract.

The extravagance of some of the phrases she had used now embarrassed her. Would they embarrass the reader, who never believed in committing his heart to the medium of writing paper?

Flo promptly tore up the letter she had written and determined to write something even Jim’s grandmother could read without blushing.

“We’re simply not an impassioned couple,” she decided, albeit
with regret, and was glad of Pixie’s sudden tomboyish appearance from out of doors, where she had become damp and grubby in less than half an hour.

“It’s super here, Flo,” the youngster rejoiced. “Auld Willyum’s going to let me wheel the barrow after breakfast.”

“After this week you must start school, dear.”

“I know. That’s the worst of it.”

Meg and Fay came into the dining room together.

“I never slept a wink for the silence,” Meg complained. “After Princess Street
...!
”

“Did you say silence?” Fay asked derisively. “It’s noisier here at unearthly hours than ever it was in Edinburgh. When it was dark there was a wretched owl hard at it, and I’d only just closed my eyes when the wood, pigeons began.”

“Willyum calls them cushy-doos,” explained Pixie, “but
I
slept like a log.”

“You’re probably made of the same stuff,” Fay quipped. “When do we eat?”

“Janet will bring breakfast in as soon as it’s ready,” Flo said calmly.

“I’d better go and hurry her up—”

“No, please don’t,” Flo stayed the other, more firmly. “She’s easily flustered.”

“You’re telling me! Where did she escape from?
”

“Janet is not very bright mentally,” Flo proceeded, “but she is astute enough to know it, and she does her best. I won’t have her upset, Fay.” She looked levelly at the other for a moment.

“Go on,” invited Fay. “Tell the poor relations exactly where they stand.”

Meg flushed.

“I do think we all want to know that, Flo,” she said sharply. “We feel a bit
like flotsam at present. I’m sure we don’t want to stay where we’re not welcome.”

Janet blundered her way in at that moment with a large tray from which emanated the appetising fragrance of bacon and kidneys. Flo relieved her of this, then came coffee and wonderful ' warm rolls. When all were served Flo turned to the eldest.

“You’re all very welcome at Rowans,” she said sincerely, “and I won’t have you thinking for one moment that you don’t belong here with me. Where else should you go? I merely ask that you try not to upset Janet in any way until she’s used to you, because it’s difficult to get help in these out of the way places and she’s an extremely good domestic worker and cook. If you upset her, or taunt her, she’ll go off to her room and you’ll either go dinnerless or have the job to do for yourselves. So Fay must watch her tongue unless she’s addicted to washing up.”

“Am I to act as—as housekeeper, or not?” Meg asked, still on the defensive.

“You’re to consider yourself at home, primarily. You’re not my housekeeper, you’re my sister.”

“Flo means that you’ll do the same tasks but not expect to be paid,” Fay said nastily.

Though Meg looked uncomfortable Flo merely smiled, however, at this.

“You used to be a very sweet child, Fay,” she said quietly. “What happened to you?”

“Nothing, that’s the trouble. I want to be a whole musician, but I’m half a one. I want to be a whole woman, and I’m half one of those, too. I’m halfway to nowhere and so frustrated I could scream.”

“Please don’t.” Flo poured more coffee for all. “You’re not alone, you know, Fay. I wanted to go to medical school but I had to be content with nursing, and Meg, who had high hopes of becoming a portrait artist, finished up taking a diploma in interior decorating. I think your career is more in your own hands than either mine or Meg’s was. You can practise for hours here.”

“I need a tutor.”

“When you had a tutor he said you needed practise. At least you’ve got your violin, and if you work hard we’ll have to see what can be done, in time.”

“In time!” Fay snorted ungraciously. “This place gives me the
pip
—
”

“I’m sorry I can’t move the house to Edinburgh to oblige you.”

“I said last night I would like to do your lounge”—Meg volunteered. “I could see it in sunshine yellow and turquoise, and if we have loose covers for the furniture.”

“Yes, yes, all in good time. Please excuse me, now, I’ll discuss
dinner with Janet.” Flo almost ran from the room and Meg relapsed into her usual despondency.

“No encouragement, you see?” she grumbled. “I could have passed the time very nicely if she had given me to go-ahead. I
can’t
sit in that room as it is. I just can’t!”

Pixie had been ploughing steadily through the remaining rolls on the dish: she emitted crumbs as she rounded on her two elders.

“Hasn’t it occurred to you that Flo might be hard up because of us? There’s all new furniture in my room, Auld Willyum told me, and four canna live as cheaply as one. Paint costs money, and so does material for loose covers. Do you think it’s up to Flo to keep us occupied and happy? I think she’s done enough.”

Fay had struck the younger girl before Meg could stop her. Pixie struggled unavailingly for revenge until Flo reappeared and separated the combatants.

“Here! Here! No fighting. Out you go into the garden, Pixie. Make the most of your few days’ holiday. What are you going to do, Fay?”

“Whatever you advise, wonderful, clever, self-satisfied sister. If you tell me to run and play in the garden, I shall probably go.” Fay flounced out.

“She must think me a dreadful prig,” sighed Flo.

“It’s not you. She hits out at everybody lately. I think she’s a bad lot.”

“Don’t say that, Meg. It’s not so long since she was in pigtails and captain of her school. I’d like to give her whatever it is she needs, poor kid.”

“I think I’d rather wish her what she deserves,” Meg said, venomously for her. “Of course, it’s not the same with you. There’s nothing happened to you which she can use as a cat o’ nine tails on your back. If—if Jim ever jilted
you,
you wouldn’t remember the pretty little school kid she once was. You’d just want to shut her beautiful, taunting mouth for ever, as I do, sometimes!”

Flo looked unhappy.

“I suppose I’m more out of touch with you all than I imagined. If I may be frank, Meg, it seems that you’re as distorted in your outlook as Fay pretends to be. You can’t still be minding as much about Keith Bexley...?” the question was hopeful, but the eldest sister positively scowled.

“Of course I still mind, and just as much. Why shouldn’t I?”

“I thought time was the sure healer. Thousands of engagements are broken every year, but life goes on. It has to. Would you take Keith back?”

“Some hopes of that ever happening! Look at me!”

“I
am
looking at you, and I think if you cut Keith right out of your thoughts there’d be precious little scar left in no time. I’m sure you’ve forgotten all that was less admirable about Keith Bexley and have made his memory a sort of deity which, while being above and beyond you, is still worshipped and so dominates your life. Keith was no god, Meg. He wasn’t worth those years of sacrifice.”

Meg breathed hard, trying to feel outraged and angry. “Who knew him better, you or I?” she demanded.

“I’m beginning to think everybody knew the real Keith better than you, Meg. You loved a myth.”

“Take him away and there’s nothing left, Flo. Nothing. Why do you try to cut the very ground from under my feet like this?”

“Maybe I hope to see your feet more firmly planted dear. Anyway, you used to be quite a good actress when we were at school together. Do you think you can at least act the part where Keith means nothing to you any more? Once Fay finds her barbs glance off you she’ll soon stop trying to hurt you
through him. As long as she succeeds in getting a reaction I’m afraid she’ll persist. She tries to find a weak spot in everybody. Me, too. I suppose it’s her way of exhibiting power.”

“She thought she had found yours last evening when you were attracted to the Strathallan of Glen Lochallan, as he calls himself. She was really quite taken aback when it emerged that you had only just met him yourself. Nevertheless she still hoped; she was keyhole-peeping at you both when you were saying goodnight.”

“How utterly ridiculous can that girl be!” Flo exclaimed quite heatedly.

Meg showed her surprise.

“I thought you knew her so well!” she smiled crookedly. “You’re as annoyed as though the absurdity was the truth. Is it?”

Flo swallowed and turned away to the window.

“Look, Meg,” she said at length, ,“I have to show a certain amount of respect to the senior staff of any hospital where I happen to be working. I don’t want romance read into my every smile or glance or the commonest of courtesies I extend. I’m engaged to be married to Jim and that’s that.”

“Does
he
know?”

“I should hope Jim knows. He did give me a ring.”

“I meant Mr. Strathallan, which you must have guessed. Does
he
know you’re engaged to be married?”

“I shouldn’t think so. Is one expected to volunteer private and personal information upon introduction?”

Meg smiled maddeningly.

“You
are
touchy about him, though, aren’t you? I think it’s a good thing it’s me giving you the third degree and not Fay. She’d say she smelled a rat.”

“What either of you smell doesn’t alter the facts,” Flo said more calmly. “I’m afraid I take my job too seriously to indulge in romantic escapades. Father always called me old sobersides. Remember?”

“Yes. He also called you still waters, and we—he said—were three laughing streams. Laughing! My God! What is there to laugh about in a situation like this?”

“Anyone would think you were on the rack, sister, dear. You’re under a good, sound roof, believe me, and as soon as I can foot the bill you shall redecorate for me. I hope you won’t charge too highly for your services, expert though you are.”

“Charge you?” Meg asked, thinking the other was joking. “How can I expect you to pay me anything?”

“I would have to pay anybody else, wouldn’t I?”

“Yes, but I would have to pay anybody else for lodging. The one cancels out the other. On the other hand you’ve given me an idea. Are there many big houses hereabouts?”

“Quite a few. Several good hotels, too, that cater for the golfing season. Do you think you might accept commissions from outsiders?”

“Why not? I haven’t
ea
r
ned
a penny in my life, so far. I made a good job of the flat in Edinburgh, if you remember?”

“Well, I must go now, Meg.” Flo kissed her sister while she was looking happier. “I’ll drop a few hints about you here and there and we’ll see if anything comes of it. Goodbye for now!”

“Goodbye, dear. When will you be home?”

“About nine. It’s my late evening, as I have two hours off duty in the afternoon.”

Flo fled, feeling glad that she had remembered in time that she had promised to meet Keith Bexley during her off-duty period. If Meg was prepared to work at her craft it would do her all the good in the world, but it might be the end of everything if she should accidentally run into Keith, especially if—with the greatest of pleasure—he rejected her yet again.

“They mustn’t meet,” Flo decided. “Doctor Stewart should be well on the road to recover now. Appendicitis isn’t all that long a job these days, and even allowing three weeks’ convalescence ne should be back in a month—or less.”

When she was ready in her sober yet attractive plain navy-blue Sister’s dress and dark gabardine coat, she felt happier about everything. Pixie was helping Willyum in manuring and mulching the rose beds, as though
s
he had known what it was to have a garden all her young life. From the summer house at the end of the long lawn came the sound of a violin in the throes of a Bach fugue.

“They’re settling down,” Flo decided a little prematurely as Mr. MacDougal assured her she was very welcome to the passenger seat in his van.