Horizon (9 page)

Tabitha had made known to me I’d have to face Luke at some point. I’d been trying to get my mind used to the idea, but every time I thought about him, I recoiled both mentally and physically.

Ainessa having been in control of him didn’t help me accept what he’d done to me.

I wanted to think I would have had a chance in defeating him on my own if Creed hadn’t shown up, but that was just wishful thinking. He’d overcome all my defenses in no time flat.

The onslaught he’d unleashed on me had been nothing short of relentless. What would he do when he saw me again? I wanted to think he’d apologize and plead for my help in getting Ainessa out of his head, but the more realistic idea would be that he’d still be trying to figure out a way to claim me.

He’d made it clear he wasn’t giving up. Just like Ainessa. They were of the same mind, so I should have thought of them as the same person, but I couldn’t do that. Not really.

Somewhere inside the beast Luke had become was the vulnerable man that had pleaded with me in a carriage to help him save his people. His intensions had always been honorable, but his approach could have used some work.

Zach came into my periphery, his silhouette a dark shadow against the glow of the room. In a voice more suited to church, he said, “What are you thinking?”

Him having to ask that question gave me some hope I had made progress in controlling my thoughts. I shrugged. “This whole thing is strange, surreal.”

He nodded. “I’ll get us out of here, Rayla. I promise.”

I stared at him, searching his eyes for that tale-tell line of green. It wasn’t there. At least I didn’t think it was. Even if I hadn’t already pledged my devotion to Heath, I couldn’t trust Zach. Not after what had happened.

“It doesn’t really matter,” I said.

His hands shot out and he grabbed my shoulders. He yanked me to face him so fast my head spun. “You don’t think I know what you’re up to? You don’t think I can see where your mind has gone? Where your mind always goes when you have a quiet moment?”

I bristled under Zach’s touch. “What do you expect from me? I’ve made my choice, but nobody cares. I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you. You have no idea just how sorry, but you’ve hurt me too. You compelled me when I thought you were the one person protecting me. You’ve shown me the only thing that ever really mattered to you was my power. You’re just like everyone else!”

I tried to yank free of his grasp, but his grip was unyielding. “I’ve told you I was sorry for deceiving you. You know why I did what I did.”

“I do,” I said, staring him down. “You wanted my power.”

His face contorted in anger, a red tinge sliding up his neck. “Yes! I wanted your power, but no more than I wanted you. I gave up everything to give you time. I risked my people and my position within the realms for you! What more could I have done?”

I shook my head. “I can’t believe a word you say.”

His grip tightened on my shoulders until I yelped under the pressure. As if snapping out of his rage, he relaxed his hold, but he didn’t release me.

“You want to know what truly happened. Here you go.”

My world tilts. I’m in his head, and I don’t want to be. He’s here too, but I’m the one in the front row. His mind races back to that night on the desert highway, the night he first saw me.

He’s tracking my signal, unsure what to expect. Something is off with this situation, and it’s nagging at his mind. He’s been in the area for days and hasn’t felt anything…not even a twinge of power nearby then bam, just like that, I’m there, lighting the world with my beacon. He’s never felt power like mine, and it’s intoxicating. He wants to soak me up like the rays of the sun.

He races toward me, knowing any moment the others will feel me too. He has to find me first. He has no choice. Ainessa’s made a mess of the council, and he has to bring order to Faeresia. If they sent someone else in his stead, he’d have no recourse to contest the action. He’s been away from court too long.

For one horrifying moment, he remembers her, the love he’s suppressed for hundreds of years. The reason he’s stayed away from court, from everyone. Faine should be a mere memory, but she creeps into his mind more often than he will admit. Her soft smile flashes in his mind. It was the thing he most loved about her.

Then his mind pushes her down were she belongs…in the pit of his regret. He’s flying on a stream of instinct as he traces me in the darkness. Styx responds to every command as if he’s an extension of this man.

They glide on the wind with practiced ease. The moment he sees my car, hope floods him. Maybe I can ease his pain? Maybe I can erase her from his memory?

He’s desperate now, so desperate for an escape from the pain. He commands Styx forward without thought. They rush up behind me, taking in my beater car and desolate surroundings. He smiles. No one will question when I go missing. His heart hammers in his chest as he moves to the side of me.

The moment he catches a glimpse of me, he loses it, and I see Styx for the first time. My mouth opens in a hideous scream, so he concentrates and regains his illusion.

Then he notices Cassie. I’m already freaking out so badly, he’s worried I’ll roll the car. Taking one last glimpse, he cloaks Styx and makes himself follow us from above.

He’s angrier than he’s been in forever, and he can’t believe what he just did. Not only did he risk my life, he exposed himself to a human.

He’d been away from court too long. He’d allowed himself to get immersed in human culture, and now he’d risked his entire race on a whim. On compulsion.

I recoiled away from him, breaking his connection with my mind. “I did not compel you!”

“What you saw is the truth,” he said, letting me step away from him.

I wandered over to the couch, hardly aware of what I was doing. Considering what he implied, I sank into the sofa and pulled my knees up to my chest.

He didn’t say anything, so I was left to my own mangled memories. He was delusional. I didn’t compel him. I didn’t even know he existed. I didn’t know anything about power when he saw me for the first time. I’d been innocent to the whole concept of the fae.

“You’re mistaken,” I said finally, glancing at him to gauge his reaction.

“It’s not the same for us, Rayla. We feed off your power. The pull of your power is what compelled my actions. It wasn’t a conscious choice of yours but the result was the same.”

What had Gibbit told me? We are judged by our results.

In that case, I was in trouble. I glanced at Zach, not able to maintain any level of connection with him. In his mind, I’d caused what happened between us, yet he wasn’t blaming me. He was trying to get me to see the depth of his feelings.

He’d fought against every instinct he’d had to give me time to adjust. “It doesn’t matter, Zach. I can’t love you like that anymore.”

He walked over to me and lowered to his knees. Our eyes were level.

I hardened my stare while his softened with compassion. “I’ve made many mistakes where you are concerned, love, but I promise you, I will do better. I will make you see that we are the best chance your world and mine have of overcoming the evil of my sister. I know I will have to earn your trust. I had hoped that a mind merge would automatically happen, and I can see why you are blocking it, but if you’d give me a chance, you would realize how—”

I held up my hands. “Just stop.” Tears pooled in my eyes. This shouldn’t be happening right now. What I should have been doing was setting up shop in the fire realm with Heath.

I stood up and stared down at him. Nothing but compassion stared back at me. I shook my head. “I can’t do this right now,” I said before I fled into the bedroom.

I slammed the door and locked it. My hands flew to my mouth to cover a threatening sob.

What were these people doing to me?

I wished I could give Zach my power. I’d gladly hand it over if it meant I could find Heath and spend the rest of my days with him.

No. That wasn’t true.

As much as I loved him, which was more than I ever thought possible, I couldn’t allow the fae to make decisions for my planet. No matter how much I hated to think about it, I was the only one capable of changing this crazy course we were on.

Zach called to me from behind the door, but he didn’t barge in. I told him to leave me alone, and to my surprise he did.

How much more of this was I going to have to take? How many more men were going to get crushed by me because I had no choice in the matter?

In the one moment I’d felt Zach’s feelings for Faine, I’d glimpsed how pure his heart was, how loyal and lovely of a man he could be. Not that it mattered. I didn’t want him anymore, and knowing that made a crater in my soul.

Faine had escaped this life, leaving Zach behind and the rest of us to clean up after her mess. I’d tried to understand where she’d been coming from when she made the choices she did, but I couldn’t let myself understand her right now. It was just too painful.

Pretty soon, I found myself thinking about the angel that showed up in my dreams. I let myself drift back to that moment, trying to recall what he’d said to me. When he’d stretched out his hand and offered me the spec of light, he’d said, “This gift comes with a message.” He’d touched my temple and pain had shot through me. The spot he’d touched still throbbed sometimes. My fingers absently traced where the bruise had lingered for so long. It was always possible I had been dreaming, but with everything that had happened to my body afterward, it was unlikely.

What message had he been talking about? I’d willed myself to dream of him again, but every time I did, I usually ended up having a heck of a time sleeping. Usually, when I managed to get some sleep, I didn’t dream at all. The thought that a higher being of some sort, angel or whatever, had come to me to give me a message from Faine still irked me.

Was she somewhere in the cosmos watching what was happening right now? Could it be she was up there somewhere, keeping track of the posterity she’d cursed?

Was it her punishment for inflicting such damage? I didn’t like harboring such hateful feelings for someone I’d never known, but she was the easiest to blame.

As I laid there thinking about her, a thought occurred to me: why did I need someone to blame? It wasn’t like using her as a scapegoat would make my decisions any easier. For all I knew hundreds of years into the future another girl would be lying in her bed cursing me.

The only thing that mattered now was how I was going to handle my life, my choices. Dwelling on what she’d done had no chance of helping me.

When I came in the bedroom, I’d had every intention of sitting here until someone dragged me out, but Nicco was right. I needed to learn how to manage my powers, and the man in the next room could help me do just that.

I stood up, made it to the door then hesitated, my hand lingering on the cool knob. How to handle this was a hard thing to determine. I didn’t want Zach to think I was giving in to our bond, but I needed his help. I squared my shoulders, swallowed my anger and feelings of betrayal where he was concerned then let myself into the living room.

He sat on the couch, body hunched over, his elbows on his knees. His head snapped up, eyes questioning me.

My tongue darted out to wet my dry lips. His eyes followed the movement then landed on mine again. The question was still there. “What is it?” he asked.

“I need your help,” I said. “Will you train me?”

He said nothing for a long moment then nodded. “We should clear up some things between us first.”

“No.” I let my eyes say what I couldn’t express with words. “Please. Give me something to focus on.”

In a swift motion, he stood up. His gaze travelled over me, but it was just a quick appraisal. “Why don’t you go change? Meet me in the far meadow behind the castle in ten minutes?”

“Okay,” I said, relief flooding me. “And, Zach?” He’d already made it half way to the door before he glanced back at me. I put as much kindness in my expression and tone as I could manage. “Thank you. This means a lot to me.”

His jaw worked before he answered me. “We’ll get through this, Rayla. I promise.”

I nodded, tears stinging my cheeks. I didn’t reply, instead I headed back into the bedroom, hoping with all my heart he was right.

When I made it to the meadow two men waited for me. I’d expected Zach but had no idea what Jett was doing there.

I walked up to them on tentative feet, not sure what to expect. An ambush?

Thankfully Zach spoke up before I had to say anything. “I’ve asked Jafan to assist us. He’s the best teacher in the realms, and I thought he might make you feel more comfortable.”

I chuckled. The words Jafan and comfortable didn’t quite go together.

Jett rolled his eyes at me. “None of your sarcasm, Rayla. We don’t have time.”

I smirked at him. “There’s always time for humor, and last I checked, you were getting much better at it.”

He waved me off. “Just get over here so we can start.”

“Yes, sir,” I said, giving him a crisp salute.

Zach laughed, and I smiled at him. The tension I’d been feeling eased off for the first time in a long time, and I found myself remembering the reasons I liked these men.

More myself than I had been in ages, I rocked onto my toes. “So what first?”

Zach took a wide stance, tucking his hands under his armpits. The breeze ruffled his dark hair over his forehead.

I’d once dreamed of running my fingers through his hair. I shoved the thought away and focused on what he was saying, “We have a lot to cover, and I’m not sure how well your training will be received in court.”

“Why?” I asked, frowning, but mostly it was a rebuke to myself for getting distracted by him.

“Let’s just say there are those in court that think you should be passed off to a new bondmate. Something so drastic has only been allowed to happen once in our history, but some seem to forget the devastation it had on our realms. We are ready to war with each other. Jafan and I want to bring our nations together. We are hopeful you can help us do just that.”

I nodded. “Well, what are we waiting for then?”

Jett chuckled. “Always so impatient.”

I cocked my head at him. “You’ve had countless years to learn patience. I can’t change something that’s part of me so easily.”

He stepped closer and pulled me into a hug. “I’ve missed you, Rayla.”

I glanced at Zach, but he gave no outward sign that this bothered him, so I threw my arms around Jett, feeling at home in his embrace. Somewhere along the line, Jett had taken the role of big brother in my mind. The strange thing was I was pretty sure he’d released any romantic feelings he’d had for me.

Had he found someone else? For his sake, I hoped so. He was a great guy, and he deserved an Elemental who would appreciate him for who he was.

I patted his back before I pushed away. “Me, too. Can’t wait to catch up.”

Zach led us to a spot under a tree. The weird part was the temperature stayed pretty close to the same no matter where I’d been in Lombarda and that included in the shade.

Once out of the afternoon sunlight, I glanced around. A slight hill in the distance blocked direct view of the castle in front of us, and nothing but forest lay to our rear.

Having such a place to escape would be essential for me to keep myself sane. Maybe I could come here to practice Shendo? I used to crave a long run, but since I’d experienced the calming effects of the Ignisian martial art, running had taken a back seat.

Zach faced me and Jett. His eyes grew distant as he spoke.

“When the fae first came to Earth, our powers were much like yours, volatile and unpredictable. It took centuries for us to learn control.” A groan wanted to race up my throat, but I held it in. Tabitha had already explained all of this to me, but it wasn’t like I could tell him about it. “Fortunately for you we have learned that the bond assists an Elemental in training. Of course, the stronger the bond, the easier training becomes.”

I glanced away from him because I didn’t want to get into another discussion about our messed up predicament right now. “What if the bond isn’t all that strong?”