Horizon (34 page)

“Yes.”

“What if I chose that? What would happen?”

“The possibilities are limitless.” His voice held no emotion at all, giving me no clue to the outcome if I did choose the status quo.

“What if I want to only change part of it?”

“That is your choice as well.”

“What if I just want to rewind time?”

“Time has already been written. You could reverse time, but would you choose something different a second time around?”

“What do you mean?”

“If you go back in time, your memories of the future will no longer exist. You can not possess memories of a time that has not taken place.”

Well, that was just fantastic. So much for getting Sam back. “Is there a way for me to bring a friend of mine back to life?”

“The young man has already passed from this world into the next. You cannot call him back without reversing time.”

“Would I be able to save him if I did?”

“Only if you would make different choices.”

Damn. I couldn’t say that I would. What if I ended up right back here? Would I remember what I’d done already? Would I open up some kind of freak time loop that lasted forever?

“It is possible,” said the angel. “If you made the same choices you would live these events for eternity.”

I shivered. Natalie would be devastated. I didn’t know how I was going to tell her. I couldn’t risk halting progression completely to save Sam.

“You’ve forgotten about your gift. Open your hand.”

When I did, a single spec of light hovered above my skin then floated upward. I gasped when I realized what it was. I looked at the angel. Was he an angel? “Am I right? Is this what I think it is?”

He nodded.

My hand turned over without my command. The light moved again, floating over my ring for an instant then it disappeared into the ruby which now glowed like Ainessa’s ring had. I had forgotten about the germ of creation Faine had sent to me. It had become part of me. I still didn’t know how to use it or exactly what it was capable of. When Sister Mary Margaret, or as I now thought of her, Lily, had given the ring to me, she’d said it would be a protection. So much for that.

I looked to the angel again, and he stared at me as if this moment was significant. Somehow being near him wasn’t as painful this time, as if he’d dampened himself for me, yet I still couldn’t keep his gaze. I stared at the glowing ring on my finger instead.

What the heck was happening?

He responded to my thoughts. “It is yours to use when you feel the time is right,” he said softly.

“I’m never going to want to use it,” I said. “Whatever
it
is.”

He gave me a slight shake of the head. “So young. So naïve. The course you have chosen is a difficult path.” His hand stretched toward my face, and I tensed. He balled his hand into a fist before it reached me, pulling it back slightly. He smiled at me as if to reassure me. “You still have not called on the memory I gave you.”

“I’m not sure I want to know,” I told him.

“So said another young woman to me not so long ago.”

Was he talking about Faine? What did she have to do with this?

Without another word spoken his fingers lifted to my temple. Pain exploded with the memory.

I drift into Faine’s body and she takes a deep breath. Excitement fills her, yet a lingering remorse won’t keep her fully immersed in the moment. She does not know if she has made the right choice. She’s gone over every contingency she can think of, but since she bonded, her sight has been limited.

She glances up. Ammon waits for her, arms folded over his solid chest. Even after a hundred years with him he never ceases to excite her.

“What did he want?” he asks, a cold resolve flittering over his features.

She meets his beautiful eyes. “To tell me he has given up his claim to me.”

Zach lets out a growl. “He never had a claim to you.” He moves closer as if emphasizing his words.

She knows better, but she doesn’t tell him how much control Callum possesses over her. She’s already lost one man to the bond. She won’t lose this one, not now that she has decided to love him.

He’s complex and intriguing. No other man could ever tempt her again.

Zach walks toward her, his head slightly lowered, eyes intent on her. She takes in his tall frame, his long nearly black hair and those mystifying eyes of his and shivers.

He stares at her, knowing her so well, and gives her a predator’s smile. She’s hidden this secret from him for so long and it must remain that way. He must not ever know how close he came to losing her. She vows to never hide another thing from him again.

“What is troubling you, Faine,” he asks, his gaze sweeping over her. Tonight when he makes love to her, she will respond. She will love him in return. She’s wanted to for decades now, but she couldn’t let herself love him then. Callum was too close to stealing her. Ammon must never know just how close.

Things are different now.

I attempt to lift myself from this memory. If I have to see Zach touch her I think I’ll puke.

Her feelings overwhelm mine, yet I am still aware of the separation between us. Her memories jumble just as he reaches her, as if fast forwarding to another time.

Tears stream down her face. She’s had an eternity with Ammon, but the time has slipped through her fingers, washed away in the sands of mortality.

He shushes her, but that only makes her sobs intensify. She can’t go on without him. If there is any way she can have him she will find it. She was not strong enough to fully claim him, but Tabitha assured her one would come that could.

Her only hope is that her descendent won’t want him. Her only desire is that she’ll be called back to this world by the only person who can do such a thing: Me.

I gasp, nearly ejecting myself from the moment, but I make myself stay. He can’t hear her thoughts anymore. The bond between them is nearly broken, so she lets her desires flood into this moment.

He’ll know me when he sees me. He’ll feel the elements. He’ll be connected to me through her. She reaches out and touches him with the last spark of her power. As she kisses him, she plants a trigger just like Ainessa taught her to. When I come to him he will know what to do.

When he withdraws from her, she fights the rend in her heart. She swallows and removes the ring he gave her, the ring his sister gave him. My ring. She hands it to him, and he places it in a pouch at his belt.

The pain on his face makes the moment easier for her somehow. “I’ll never forget you,” she says, knowing for a surety it is true.

He shakes his head. “You will forget in time. You will fall in love with another man, have children.” His voice catches on the last word, and he swallows. Then as if a shield lowers, steel covers his expression. “You must forget me.”

She smiles at him and touches her fingertips to his lips. “I will do my duty, but it will be your face I see when I make love. It will be you I love, always.”

His jaw tightens and she pretends she sees moisture in his eyes. “It is time,” he says.

She nods, lifting herself onto her toes. “Peace be with you, my love.”

Then she turns and walks through the barrier to the man waiting for her on the other side. She feels her memory slipping as she enters the mortal realm, but she touches her trigger and they return.

The man smiles at her and she returns the gesture then goes to him. He is the first of his kind, just as she is of hers. She has seen the future her children will face. It will not be easy with the corruption they will face, but it will be worth it in the end.

The memory faded and I found myself with the angel again. I blinked, bringing myself into this moment. Zach was right about Faine. She had done what she thought was right. What more could I have asked of her?

I let my desires for this world flow through me now, no longer afraid to make a choice. I wanted to change things. I just wasn’t sure how to do it. “I would like to talk to her,” I told him. “Will you bring her to me?”

He nodded once before we zipped through space until we looked down upon the Earth. From up here the world looked whole. So many creatures and people inhabited this celestial orb, and he showed me the masses still to come throughout time.

“How long will it last?” I asked, breathless at the prospects of what I was committing to do. Immortality suddenly seemed like a heavy burden. A burden I would soon face if my plan worked.

“Until it has fulfilled its purpose,” he said, and I was aware he would tell me no more about it. “You are wise to request council,” he said, glancing down at me.

I would need a lot of help, and Faine was only one person I wanted to speak to about choosing the best plan for the world.

My vision heightened, zoning in on Hy-Brasil. My gaze pierced its shield. Like Faeresia, it was invisible to mortal eyes. Humans had no idea just how much went on in the world to keep them safe, to keep the planet safe from outside and inside threats.

For the first time I understood why the fae were allowed to inhabit the Earth. They were guardians. But service without reward seemed wrong to me.

“They have their reward,” the angel said. “They have a home for now.”

I gave him a skeptical frown. “There are so many good people among them. Can’t an exception be made?”

“Would you give up your eternity for theirs?” he asked.

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“They are known as rule breakers.”

“So are humans,” I said in defense of the people I loved. “But exceptions are made for them.”

“They do not have true knowledge yet,” he said.

“What if the fae didn’t either?” I asked, a sudden idea striking me.

He stood silent for a moment, making me aware of the absolute lack of sound in space. He finally spoke, “You desire to remove their memory?”

Pain was the only thing I’d ever seen in fae memories of their time before Earth. “Could they relearn what they will lose?”

He gave a sigh. “If they obey the law anything would be possible for them.”

Hope fluttered in my heart. “Would they be able to progress again?”

He shook his head. “They are needed in this world and have a contract to fulfill.”

He’d just spoken about eternity. I already knew it would be a very long time. “I’m talking about when the world is no longer needed. Would they be able to progress again?”

“It is possible, but there would need to be a consequence for those who do not obey.”

I thought furiously for a solution. “We have the dark realms. With some help, I think we can remove the corruption from the fae, but I want everyone to have a choice. If in the end they disobey, they would be in the same position they are now. Will you allow them to choose?”

“Of course,” he said as though that was a given. I supposed it really was. He gave me a once over with those piercing eyes. “So this is the path
you
choose?”

I nodded. My throat was too thick to say a word.

“So be it,” he said. “If they do not succeed, you will become one of them.”

“How many need to succeed?”

“That is for the creator to decide.” With that he moved away from me.

“Wait!” I said before he could leave me to it. “There’s one other thing.”

“Yes?” he asked.

“I want children in the realms.”

“Impossible,” he said, stiffening. “Children are part of progression. They have not earned that reward.”

“Would you deny me children?” I asked. “I will live among them.”

His stare lasered into my soul. “What would you do with those children?”

I didn’t hesitate in my reply. “Teach them to protect the Earth.”

“The same laws would apply to them,” he said. “Should you fail, they would be held from progression. Immortality comes at a high price.”

“It’s worth it,” I said, thinking about all the people I’d grown to care for. I believed in them. We could do it. We could change things together. Was this what Faine had thought when she made her choices?

“And the Order?” he asked, interrupting my contemplation.

“We’ll deal with them.”

“They cannot be harmed by your kind. They are still part human. You will have to find them all.”

I nodded. “We will restructure. I’d like to integrate them into Faeresia. It will take time for us to locate all of them. We’ll have to have a way to locate them…some kind of power.”

“This is how you would make your children?”

“Yes,” I said.

He snapped a nod at me. Then he reached out and touched my temple again. “You will have opposition. It is a universal law.”

Within a single moment I saw every possibility my choice could create. Success and failure loomed around me. It wasn’t something I could control. The only thing I could dictate was what I did. Everyone else was responsible for their actions. I saw the rise and fall of rebellions. I saw peace unlike anything I could have imagined.

I also saw evil standing next to me the entire way.

When I opened my eyes Valen stood in front of me. Hatred filled his eyes. “You will not succeed in this effort. The fae are not teachable. They must be controlled.”

“You’re wrong,” I said, almost feeling sorry for him.

His body stiffened. “I will beat you,” he said, instilling venom in his voice. “You will not take my kingdom from me!”

Seriously? His
kingdom
. “All you’ve had was an illusion.” I took in his glamour. How many people had suffered because of this one man? Then his face changed, shifting through the thousands of faces he’d worn over the years.

If left unchallenged his tactics would not change.
He
would not change.

“Illusion is the secret to control,” he whispered. “It is not too late. We can join forces. We can compromise.”

I wasn’t sure how this particular fae learned to lie, but I suspected it had something to do with the human body he possessed in the beginning. Who knew, there may have been more throughout time. It was why I couldn’t see him for who he really was. I had what could be his true name, but until he was removed from his glamour, I wouldn’t be able to inflict any real harm to him.