Hopelessly Yours (7 page)

I twisted my mouth in confusion, looking up at her in shock. The gasp I'd put away fell back out. I jerked my eyes back to the sign in log, not believing it. ‘Mark Benton’ was scrawled on the last line. I dragged my eyes to the corner where the severely beaten man was hunched over, trying to make himself as little and inconspicuous as possible. Nothing like the confident, ridiculously handsome man on the magnet.

"Rumor has it that he made the wrong friends." The nurse leaned in, her voice a frightened hiss. "Macone."

She said his name once and backed away, like she'd just said the boogeyman...and rightfully so. Macone's name was linked with mob activity all around the country and abroad, but he knew the right people, or had enough thugs, to take the fall for him. He'd never seen the inside of a jail cell, even though everyone in Clint knew that if something bad went down, his name was attached somehow. And if Mark Benton's face was what happened when you crossed Macone, it was no wonder he was walking free. Who'd testify or speak up if he'd beat you to the point of being unrecognizable or worse?

I
paced back and forth in front of the movie theater, our ticket stubs clutched in my fist. I had spent longer getting ready than I was comfortable admitting. I had pulled my hair back into a low ponytail, a couple of dark brown locks escaping the rubber band. I pushed them out of my eyes and looked back out in the parking lot.

Another thing I wasn't so proud of? I'd lost count of how many times I'd scanned the rows of parked cars for one of the two that had been parked in front of her mansion. That's right—mansion. She'd called it a house. I lived in a house, a small two bed, one bath thing that barely had enough room for me, my grandmother, and my uncle. Her living room was half the size of our entire house.

She was embarrassed when I'd brought up that fact, and I felt a funny twitch in my chest when I looked at her. She was rich, but she didn't care about money, unlike all the other kids from the right side of the tracks.

I locked my jaw, still not spotting the Land Rover or the BMW. Still not spotting her. I still had a little dignity, so I didn't check my cell, but I knew that she was late.

Was she standing me up?

That concept seemed especially cruel, since going to the movies had been her idea, and she'd asked twice before I begrudgingly said yes. My apprehension didn't mean I wasn't interested. The idea of spending time with her outside of the project made me want to leap for joy like an idiot. Being around her, I felt different. It almost felt like it was safe to be happy.

I glared down at the ticket stubs, two of them, to see some dumb comedy that I could care less about. She wanted to see it, and the idea of doing something that made her happy made me feel like I was on top of the world. Maybe I wasn't worthless.

But doubt was taking over, its unyielding fingers tight around my throat. It laughed at me for being so stupid. Why would someone like Victoria Johnston be interested in someone like me?

"Jace?"

The voice was bright and as warm as the sun.

Victoria.

"Sorry I'm late, my mom was..." She trailed off. She didn't have to say more than that. I knew her mom couldn't stand me. My last name carried baggage.

She flipped her dark hair and studied me. "Is everything okay?" She cocked her head to the side, a smile twinkling in her brown eyes. "You thought I was standing you up."

"Nah," I lied, fighting the heat that invaded my cheeks.

"I'd never do anything to hurt you, Jace."

I didn't know what to say, gawking at her like she must be insane. But she had a steely expression. The same determined look she wore when Josh said something insulting and she didn't budge until he apologized. Now, she was determined to make me believe that she cared about me.

I surprised us both and threaded my fingers through her feather soft locks, knuckles lingering on her jawline. We hitched a breath simultaneously and in that moment, we saw each other. Her blue eyes held no reservations, wide open and longing. In mine, I took the bricks down and let her see I felt the same.

Her second little gasp rippled over my body, her lips fluttering as she leaned into me. Her body fit mine just right; like we were made for this. For each other. I drew my touch to her chin, tilting her face up, and she got the gist. She knew what was next and wanted it just as badly.

When our lips collided, I heard music. The notes were my thundering heart and the moan that hummed from my mouth to hers.

When we separated, I missed her even though she was still in my arms. I missed her taste.

She bit her lip, a blush traveling from her cheeks to her slender neck. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

Her eyes were playful. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

I interlaced our fingers, smiling. "I think so."

The kiss had sealed our fate.

I'd never get enough of Victoria.

*

I
leaned against a post in front of Lola's Ice Cream and Treats. I'm not gonna lie—I was surprised when she'd sent me a text asking if she could see me. The new Victoria Johnston was nothing like the Victoria I knew. The other Victoria thought I walked on water. She jumped into a relationship with me headfirst, damn the consequences.

The little piece of heart I had left beat for her. It always had—but the new Victoria was three years older and even wiser. She'd built a wall of her own around her heart. I didn't blame her. I didn't trust me either.

I pushed off when I saw her Sonata pulling into the parking lot. I hadn't even seen her and already my heart was stammering. Even though I wanted this, hoped for it, a part of me knew it would end in catastrophe.

I ran a hand over my cropped hair, breathed in and out like that would do any good.

She walked toward me in a crimson dress that hugged her body. I thought I knew her curves; I'd traced them in my mind a million times. I could remember the way my cock stirred to life when I saw her at the party, but this dress made me hunger for her. It clutched her breasts, round and luminous, teasing me with the v-neckline. It accentuated her waist, then flared out at her hips, the wind fluttering the deep red material. Even her feet were sexy, baby pink toes glittering in golden sandals.

I shot my eyes back up to her face, trying to get a handle on my raging desire before I proved her right.

Too late—her eyes were narrowed in displeasure, the sides of her mouth pulled in a scowl.

I flashed her a wry smile as she stopped in front of me. I knew she was dying to say I told you so. "What can I say? I like looking at you." What I really wanted to say was I missed looking at her. All of her.

She crossed her arms pointedly until I raised an eyebrow. She looked down and saw her defiant gesture had flashed even more intimate flesh and gasped. She tugged the straps back in place.

"You weren't just looking at me, Jace. You were..." she bit her lip, her fair skin flushing a furious pink. "You know what you were doing."

Even if I wanted to behave myself, there was no way I could when she bit her lip and blushed. Both were innocent, but they made me want to do bad things to her body. Listen to the sounds she made when she came undone in my arms.

Her eyes widened knowingly. It reminded me of the old days, when we could have whole conversations without opening our mouths. We were so close.

She took a step away from me toward the entrance.

"So how about that ice cream?" she said, her voice gravelly and nervous.

My eyes flickered to her mouth. Despite her whole ‘I'm not interested in you’ thing she'd been spouting since the party, I knew if I kissed her, she'd kiss me back. You couldn't shut off what we had like a switch. If it were that easy, I wouldn't have been looking for her. Hoping I'd see her around town and feeling the gaping hole in me get bigger every time I came up empty. I wouldn't feel a stupid wave of hope whenever I saw her.

The moment was gone and her face was hard as stone. If I wanted, I could chisel it away until the beautiful thing we had remained. I could make her admit she was still in love with me.

But I had no right. I had lost that right when I walked away.

Take what you can get, asshole. Just be happy she's back in your life, even if it won't last.

Can't last.

I took a step in her direction, not missing the way her lips shuddered even if she acted like I didn't affect her—then moved around her to the door.

I held it open. "After you."

Who said I couldn't be a gentleman?

J
ace was staring at my ass.

It should have pissed me off. After all, I told him that I wasn't one of his skanks. And yet as soon as we saw each other, he stripped me down with his eyes. Layer after layer, beneath his steely brown gaze I was naked, standing in front of Lola's. I'd scowled and acted offended, but the truth was I'd loved every second of him screwing me with his eyes.

I'd only been with one other guy since him. Scott Jacobs, a frat boy who pursued me relentlessly after we met at a party. Sex with him had been forgettable. We were just mindless bodies moving out of sync, stumbling upon a halfhearted piece of bliss. But sex with Jace...

I nibbled on my bottom lip as I watched him take the sample spoon from the lovestruck girl behind the counter. He closed his eyes and let out a moan that made moisture pool in my panties.

"I'll take a scoop of the mint chocolate chip," I barked, breaking his spell on the girl.

She gave me a wilting look and worked on my order. Jace saw right through my eye roll. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't break his spell over me.

"Mint chocolate chip?" He made a face. "I could have sworn you were a cookies and cream kinda girl."

"Things have changed," I said brusquely. I flipped my dark hair dismissively, trying to prove my point. Three years was a long time. I
had
changed. Mint chocolate chip was my favorite ice cream flavor now. Pink was no longer my favorite color. Violet was its replacement, the color of the sky before the world was drenched in darkness. I'd moved on from my Beatles fixation to chill, folksy tunes crooned by bands like Iron and Wine and The Head and the Heart.

He stroked his chin pensively and decided on mint chocolate chip too, then flashed me a smile that made my heart soar. His ability to make me swoon with just a smile hadn't changed.

He tried to pay for my order, but I reiterated that this wasn't a date. I paid for my ice cream and gave the counter girl a tip even though she looked moments away from challenging me to a duel.

I found us a table near the back and used the few seconds I had alone to get my head on straight. This was just ice cream between two old friends. The fact that I was considering marching over and slapping the counter girl for shamelessly flirting was just residual stuff. My eyes roaming over Jace’s toned physique, getting hotter by the minute? It was just the memories left over from when things were good between us. He'd gotten under my skin, and he'd always be there. He was my first love and the first guy I'd slept with. That didn't mean we had to sleep together now.

How easily you've forgotten a key memory
, my head snarled.
The only memory you should be clutching at: when he left you.

*

I
waited until the house was so still, so quiet, that I swore I was the only one in the whole world. I threw the covers off and sprang from the bed. I wore a dress I spotted in a store in Jersey. It was a black lace skater dress that hugged me and was far shorter than appropriate. I didn't care. As soon as I tried it on, I knew that Jace would love it. And tonight was the night. He had an answer for me—we'd finally tell everyone we were together.

It was so hard to only see him in class. To see him around school, brushing up against him in the hall and pretending we were friends when we were so much more.

I tiptoed downstairs and went out the back door. My flats whispered against the ground as my flashlight lit the way.

It was our spot. The place we'd found when I stormed out two months ago after my mother had called Jace the son of thugs. I'd been blinded by tears, branches slapping and scratching as I ran. And then there was nothing. I opened my eyes and I was standing in a small clearing, a pale crop circle in the middle of the woods. Jace had come up behind me and wrapped me in his arms. I let it all out, drenching his t-shirt with my tears. He told me that this was my safe place—that he was my safe place. Since then, we'd created our oasis. We brought lanterns and blankets and it was the place we escaped to when the world got crazy. It was our secret place.

My heart leapt when my flashlight illuminated him, standing in the center. It would be the place where we figured out how to tell the world we were together.

"Jace!" I threw my arms around him—and my excitement dwindled.

He was rigid, awkwardly hugging me back. We separated and I pulled the solar lanterns from my bag and peered up at him. His face was so cold. Withdrawn. Just like it had been when we were first partnered up in US History.

"What's going on?"

His head dropped and he brought something to the light. A piece of paper. He held it out to me without a word.

My throat was on fire, and fear almost made it impossible to grip it because my hands were shaking.

It was folded three times.

My eyes widened when I read the words on the page.

Three words, and not the three words I wanted to hear from him.

You deserve better.

*

"D
id you hear anything I said?"

I blinked, the hold on the memory slipping away. Jace cocked his head to the side, studying me.

"W-what did you say?"

"You've been staring into space for the past five minutes, and your ice cream is becoming a milkshake."

I blinked down at it. It was an island of melting green and black bits.

I dug in unceremoniously, struggling to focus on the now. The taste of mint and not the taste of bitterness from the past.