Hopelessly Imperfect (Imperfect #1) (12 page)

“I’m sorry if I seemed distracted. I’m just too excited to see so much improvement in Nathan!”

My heart was in full-on fluttering mode knowing that he was waiting for me, so I really didn’t know what to say to that. Amanda watched me knowingly as she gestured for me to leave. I walked outside the building, and I couldn’t help but wonder if she was right.

Nate stood as he heard me approach and threw his cigarette to the ground before stepping on it. His gray eyes watched me for a moment before a small smile played on his lips.

“Your stalker tendencies have no precedents, Rivers,” I quipped.

He grinned and shrugged, murmuring, “You’re out early.” He frowned as my heart skipped a beat again.

“Amanda had somewhere to go.” We both turned to her window, and there she was, beaming at us. I rolled my eyes.
Talk about being discreet.

“Great,” Nate whispered by my ear, sending shivers down my spine. He walked around his car to open the door for me. “I’m hungry.” He shrugged again.

“You’re always hungry.” I raised an eyebrow.

“True.” He smiled as I climbed inside the car. My eyes turned to Amanda’s office once again. She was still there. I was blushing as Nate hopped in.

“Did you eat?” he asked as the engine roared to life.

“A salad.”

His eyes turned to me. “Are you one of those girls who only eat salads?” He raised an eyebrow, making me chuckle.

“No. I just haven’t been hungry lately.”

“Tsk. We may need to work on that,” he said to himself, making my heart flutter even faster.

He drove us to a fast-food restaurant and got a large hamburger and fries for him and a chocolate sundae for me. Then he took us to the city limits. He parked his car and told me to follow him.

Hesitantly, I complied. He stepped down a dirt path. It was really dark, but I felt completely safe around him. We walked in comfortable silence for a few minutes. When we reached a rocky hill, he grabbed my hand and helped me get to the top.

My lips parted as I took in the incredible view. The dark sky was completely drowned in little twinkling stars that contrasted with the distant large buildings of the city.

“You like it?” Nate asked beside me, still holding my hand.

“It’s breathtaking,” I whispered excitedly.

Little tingles played through my hand as I turned to gaze at him. Nathan’s gray eyes were piercing for a moment before he took a deep breath. Slowly, his hand pulled away from mine, as we needed both hands to ease ourselves down and take a seat on the rocks.

He passed me the sundae he’d been carrying in the paper tray. “Thank you,” I murmured before grabbing a spoonful of the delicious ice cream. I savored the sundae as I gazed at the distant scenery. It looked like something worth drawing. With a shy smile on my face, I turned to him. “So, where were you today?”

He placed a hand on his chest. “I’m really touched that you missed me so much.” His eyes sparkled mischievously.

Rolling my eyes, I turned away.
Ugh.
I knew this would happen. Plus, he didn’t answer me. “Why do you always do that?” I asked, frustrated.

“Do what?” He feigned innocence.

“
Whatever
,” I muttered, annoyed.

Nate chuckled. “It’s to make things interesting,” he murmured after a moment.

You are interesting
.
Way too interesting.
I bit my lip instead of voicing my thoughts. A faint, cold breeze nipped my cheeks as I sighed. “My dad’s getting married,” I murmured while swirling the ice cream with the spoon, “to my mom’s best friend.” I frowned.

Nate choked on his soda, making a mess. Chuckling, I passed him a bunch of napkins while his gray eyes looked at me in concern. “That’s…”

“Fucked up,” I finished for him while he started to clean up.

His mouth twitched, and a small smile played across his lips. “Pretty much.” He gazed at me. “How do you feel about it?” He cleaned his hands before running one through his hair.

My eyes followed the movement. I had the sudden urge to do the same. My hand itched to touch his hair. I clenched it and stared back into the distance, because looking at him was making me feel awkward.

Scrunching up my nose, I went on, “Well, Dad didn’t ask for my opinion. I know it’s messed up—” I bit my lip while rubbing one of my scars, “—but I kind of get it, you know?” I gazed at him. He nodded while popping a fry in his mouth. “I know Dad. He’s the least selfish person ever. He took care of my grandmother despite the fact that neither Mom nor her ever got along. And when Mom got sick,” my tone softened, “well, he took care of her as well. He never complained or anything. He kept going, day after day, always with a smile on his face.” Guilt washed over me, and I closed my eyes for a moment. “I don’t think he can move on by himself. I believe he needs someone by his side.” My jaw quivered as a trembling breath left my lips.

Nate’s warm hand encased mine. My eyes cut down to our hands as my voice was barely a whisper. “He has every right to be selfish. He earned it.” His thumb started to make soothing circles on the back of my hand. And even though this was such a difficult subject for me, his touch was making my stomach flutter.

We were silent once again. That was one of the things I liked about Nathan. We didn’t need to talk all the time. There was no need to impress one another or try to be polite.

Nonetheless, his hand on mine was making me feel tingly all over.

Swallowing hard and trying to calm the butterflies in my stomach, I asked him, “Did you hear about the English essay?”

He snorted. “Yeah.” He rolled his eyes before making a face. “Talk about a lame subject.”

Lame for you
, I thought sourly. “Well, I’ve been thinking about it all day. I’m not sure if I want to talk about my summer, you know?” His hand froze, and his gaze became more intense. I shrugged, trying to ignore his burning stare. “I’m not sure anyone wants to hear about it but—” I rolled my eyes, “—Marissa is keen on finding out what happened to me this summer, and I’m sure she’ll manage to get all the facts soon.”

His hand left mine. My skin was searing. “You shouldn’t care about what other people think. Especially her.” His lips were set on a straight line as he said this.

“I don’t. But I also don’t want her to be telling my story and adding lies to it. I mean, it’s not like anyone actually cares about my summer, anyway. But I’d rather tell it myself.”

He gazed at me. “It feels like a big thing, huh?”

I lifted my shoulders. “Amanda said it would be good for me.”

Instantly, he smirked. “Figures,” he muttered while shaking his head, his eyes cast down. He took a deep breath. “You should write about it,” he said after a moment. His voice was raw with emotion, and his eyes were shining too brightly when he glanced at me. My heart sank at the sadness and guilt etched in them.

“Nate?” I tilted my head when he turned away.

He cleared his throat. “It’s impossible to know who around us is going through a hard time, and knowing that you’re not alone might help.”

I wanted to ask him so many things, but I didn’t want to push him. If he wanted to share something with me, he would. I, more than anyone, knew that sometimes you just want to keep things to yourself. Even if it hurt you.

Plus, he was right. That was one of the things that pulled me to him. Or that pushed Dad to Marie. People need to know they’re not alone.

I bit my lip, and my heart flipped as I reached for his hand. “You know this works both ways, right?”

He gazed at me intensely for a moment before he laced his hand with mine, making my heart flutter like crazy. “What do you mean?” he whispered huskily before clearing his throat.

“I’m here for you.” I swallowed hard. “If you ever want to talk, I’m here.”

My lips parted as he leaned closer to me. “I know,” he whispered by my ear, making my skin break out in goose bumps before he pulled away. “It’s time to go,” he said before helping me get up. We grabbed our things and walked to the car hand in hand.

Chapter Eleven

The cool morning air caressed my skin as I leaned over against my thighs, trying to regain my breath. I was in the middle of my morning run, but I had sprinted too fast, and now I was out of breath. My cheeks were flushed as I took a moment to admire the usual scenery.

I couldn’t stop thinking about Nathan and the way he made me feel every time our skin made contact or he grabbed my hand. Taking a deep breath, I cringed, completely discouraged.

I liked Nathan
. A lot, actually.
It was unnerving, to say the least. It was the first time I felt like this for anyone. Sure, I’d had crushes and I liked boys. Just not like this.
Never like this.

Tom had been cute, and I’d been attracted to him enough to kiss him. Several times. However, even if felt good, it never felt like this
.
And all Nathan had done so far was hold my hand!

I shouldn’t feel like this for him. I mean, I barely knew the guy.

Jogging back toward my house, I kept trying to understand more about him. He had always been a loner. I’d never heard of him having a girlfriend, either.

Completely annoyed at the fact I didn’t really know him, I walked inside my house sulking. Dad was leaning on the stair rail with his arms crossed over his chest.

He didn’t look happy.
Shit.

Nate had gotten me home after midnight yesterday. I’d texted Dad that I’d be late, but he’d been asleep when I got home.

Heaving a sigh, I rubbed the back of my neck. “I’m sorry, Dad.”

“You were really late, Cassandra.” I grimaced. He only called me my full name when he was really mad at me or something. Like right now.

“Where were you last night?”

Stammering, I scrunched up my nose. “We had dinner and lost track of time?” My voice came out high-pitched.

Dad’s voice was serious as he asked, “Who were you with? That Nathan guy?” I bit my lip while nodding. “Didn’t I tell you I wanted to meet him?” He glared at me.

“It was pretty late. He just dropped me off.”

Dad’s blue eyes narrowed. “He had time to open the door for you, didn’t he?” I blinked at him with my mouth open. I guess I’d just assumed he was asleep when I got home last night. As if he was reading my mind, he pressed on, “My daughter was out with who knows who. I had to make sure you got home in one piece.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I simply apologized again.

“You’re inviting him to dinner tonight.”

“What? No.” My eyes widened in panic. “I’m sure he has things to do. I can’t just tell him he has to come here tonight.” I gestured with my hands. “It’s not polite.”

“That’s not my problem.” He walked to the kitchen. I followed him, panicking.

“When you invite someone over, you have to ask first,” I exclaimed, appalled.

Dad rummaged through the fridge, taking out ham and cheese. “You should have thought about that before you went out with him,” he said, looking over the door at me before resuming his search.

“We’re not dating!” I said aghast as I grabbed the bread out of one of the cabinets and placed it on the table.

“Thanks.” He smiled before closing the fridge’s door. I took out two plates as Dad started to make our breakfast.

“
Dad.
”

Pointing at me with a knife full of mayonnaise, he stated, “You like him.”

What the hell?
I gaped at him. Dad smiled triumphantly. “While you figure it out—” he continued making the sandwiches, “—I want to meet the guy that seems to be with my daughter all the time, okay?” I rolled my eyes and huffed while crossing my arms. “If he had time for you yesterday, I’m sure he’ll have time today.” His blue eyes watched me sternly. He placed the finished sandwich on my plate and slid it toward me. “Now, eat up, kiddo.”

Scowling, I slumped in my chair and had breakfast while Dad smirked.

After washing the dishes, I ran upstairs and took the fastest shower I could. Arguing with Dad made me late for school. And now I was stressing about inviting Nathan over; but more importantly, was I that obvious?

Even my father noticed I had feelings for him! Did Nathan know?

How am I supposed to ask him to come over tonight?
Without being so obvious, of course.

Grabbing a pair jeans and a green t-shirt, I dressed up quickly. I braided my hair before putting on my shoes and a white hoodie. As I locked the front door, Dad’s beeping horn made me jump.

“Come on! Climb in!” He prompted as I rolled my eyes.
What’s going on with Dad today?
He drove to school, smirking all the way as I sulked beside him.

We got to school on time, and before I stepped out of the car, he reminded me to tell Nathan about dinner tonight. Cringing, I sighed as I closed the door and waved at him.

Walking to my locker, I kept thinking about it.
How obvious am I?
The worst part was that I had calculus first thing in the morning. So that meant I was bound to see him in a few minutes.

My heart fluttered.
Oh for Christ’s sake!
I really wanted to slap myself.

The classroom was almost empty as I walked in. I breathed out in relief, exhausted already. Reaching my seat, I slumped in my chair and lowered my head to my desk as I stared out the window. Someone entered the room, and my head snapped toward the noise while my heart started to race. I breathed out in relief again when I saw it wasn’t Nate.

However, it was Anne. A frown creased my brows as I grabbed a black pen and started to doodle on my notebook a bit nervously. She felt as uneasy as me, since her steps faltered as soon as she saw me. She left her backpack on her desk and came towards mine.

I sat up as she took a seat in front of me. Her green eyes gazed at me for a moment before she turned to the side. She seemed apprehensive. Her right hand was playing with the hem of her gray sweater.

“Anne?” I asked, bemused at her behavior.

She sighed before grimacing. “I’m sorry too.” She looked up at me with a troubled look in her eyes. “It was easier to feel like a victim when I could have tried to do something for our friendship.”

Looking down at my doodles, I murmured, “You don’t need to apologize.”

“Actually, I do.” My eyes snapped up to her. “It’s not your fault, Cassie.” She pursed her lips before getting up and walking to her seat. My eyes followed her every move as I swallowed hard.

She was wrong, though. It was me who’d pulled away. It was me who’d closed down on her.
On everyone.

My fingers traced one of my scars as someone bumped against my chair. “Hey,” Nathan said behind me, and my heart skipped a beat as he grabbed my shoulder, making me turn to look at him. “Did you get in trouble?” His gray eyes surveyed me for a moment before he tilted his head. “That bad, huh?”

I shook my head in silence. The teacher arrived at that moment, and I gladly faced forward. My eyes turned toward the redhead in the front row, who was dutifully taking notes. I rubbed my eyes with my palms, completely exhausted.

Sometimes I felt so much better, but sometimes I still felt like the world was closing in on me. The worst part was it didn’t take much to make me feel that way. Breathing out, I grabbed my pencil and started to mindlessly copy whatever was written on the board.

“Cassie,” Nathan whispered behind me. Inconspicuously, I leaned back in my chair and tilted my head, gesturing him to keep going. “I’m sorry I got you in trouble with your father. Are you okay?”

Somewhat confused, I turned to him fully. “How do you know that?”

Nate snickered while shaking his head. “You really need to pay attention.” I frowned as he went on, “He was watching us from the window on the second floor. I saw him when you waved at me.”

“Cassandra!” Mr. Brown admonished me. “Is the class too boring for you?”

Flushing, I faced the front of the room again and shook my head. “Sorry.”

“Next time, you’ll both get detention, got it?” he admonished. I nodded, embarrassed, while everyone’s eyes were on us.

Anne gazed at me, and a small smile played on her face for a second. It was somehow reassuring among the others’ curious stares. Swallowing hard, I grabbed my pencil and kept quiet the rest of the class, ignoring Nate completely.

I didn’t, however, pay attention to the lecture. I was too preoccupied with everything going on. So when Mr. Brown told us what our homework would be, I panicked because the board just seemed like a huge mess of numbers and letters, and I had no idea how they worked together. Even though I had the same scribbles in my notebook.

Shoving everything into my backpack, I turned around to find Nathan already at the door talking to Chris.

Dreading that I had to tell him about dinner, I thought about not telling him at all and lying to Dad that he couldn’t make it, but I didn’t want to screw things up with Dad. Cringing inwardly, I followed them.

“Nate!” I called his name just before he disappeared on me. They both turned to look at me, and I trotted to reach them. I greeted Chris, who had crossed his arms, smirking.

He patted Nathan on the back. “We’ll catch up later, dude.” He smiled at me before walking away.

“I thought you were mad at me.” Nathan frowned as his gray eyes bored into me.

“No, I had to—” I hesitated, “—pay attention.” I shrugged before biting my lip.

He raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t get it, did you?” he asked knowingly with a smug smile.
I pressed my lips together while he chuckled. “So, what happened with your father?”

I grimaced. “He wants to meet you.” I closed one eye, scrunching up my nose as I anticipated his appalled reaction. This was, after all, pretty messed up and embarrassing as hell.

“Okay,” he responded, unfazed.

I stared at him dumbfounded for a moment. My heart fluttered as I gnawed my lip. “Is tonight all right?” I asked, holding my breath, cringing inwardly.

Nathan gazed at me for a moment and shrugged. “That works. We could also do the homework together since you’re clearly not so advanced in calculus,” he teased. I blinked at him, completely surprised at his lack of reaction. “I’ll see you later, then,” he added as if nothing had happened and smiled at me, making the butterflies in my stomach flutter like crazy. I watched him walk away. I couldn’t move my feet.

He was coming for dinner tonight. And he didn’t seem to mind. That was as amazing as it was worrying. Bewildered, I frowned as my feet finally regained movement and walked me to my next class.

At lunch, when I told Farah about it, she almost choked on her cheeseburger. I patted her on the back as she opened her bottle of water to take a sip.

“You asked him to meet your father!” she blurted out when she finally got her voice back.

“It was Dad’s doing.” I stared at my apple for a moment before looking back at her.

“And he said yes?” She gestured with her hands. “Just like that?”

I shrugged. “He doesn’t seem to mind.” I tried to look nonchalant, but I was quite worried.

Farah thumped her bottle on the table, making a loud noise, while she laughed. “He does!”

“How do you know?” I tilted my head, watching her curiously.

She smiled smugly. “I know stuff.” Her eyes twinkled mischievously.

I narrowed my eyes at her. “What kind of stuff?”

“Whatever,” she dismissed me. “It doesn’t take a genius to know the guy is head over heels for you!”

Completely surprised at her words, I murmured, “He’s not.”

Farah rolled her eyes. “You’re so thick, Cass.”

“He had no reaction to the fact my father wants to meet him.
None
.” I gestured with my hands. “Zero. Nada.”

She leaned on the table. “I’m pretty sure he’s freaking out with Chris and Jay. Actually, I’d bet on it.”

I shrugged. “I don’t think so.”

Farah watched me for a moment before beaming at me. “You
like him!”

I stayed unfazed at her statement. She would figure it out eventually, so there was no point denying it.

I munched on my apple as her eyes widened. “Oh. My. God! We could double-date! How awesome could that be?”

Embarrassed, I frowned at her. “It’s not like that. I’m not sure he even likes me that way.”

“Oh, he does.” She smiled at me. “Trust me!”

Sighing, I rubbed at my face, completely discouraged. “Please don’t say anything.”

“Of course!” She placed a hand on her chest, feigning hurt. Then she leaned closer to me. “So, tell me, do you think about him all the time?”

God. I’m never going to hear the end of it.