Hope (2 page)

While he went through his list many faces of those he had known would come to mind, other neighbors, co-workers and even the familiar faces he’d see on a regular basis at the store or coffee shop. All gone or not seen since the blackout. All of his and Carlos’ neighbors had packed up and left, many on foot. Their final destination was the rumored FEMA camp in Yuma, Arizona. If there was anything that remained a sure thing, it was the rumor mill. Within hours of the blackout rumors flew. Many gathered that a terrorist attack had occurred, and practically thinking, it made sense. Soon the rumors came that the federal government was mobilizing a response to the crisis and establishing relief camps in Riverside. This rumor was proven fact when a small convoy from the Department of Homeland Security passed through plastering leaflets. Not long afterwards came the US Postal Service. They moved through town taking a survey of the residents and giving them instructions. Like a levee breaking, the residents of El Centro, a small desert city one hundred and eighteen miles east of San Diego, flooded out, all headed for Yuma and the promise of salvation.

Neal and Carlos resisted the call to leave. Neal and Carlos avoided the mailmen and their DHS security teams. With everyone gone they factored their ability to sustain themselves was greater. Their theory proved correct. They found an abundance of food, water and supplies. As the days turned to weeks then into months, they had become so accustomed to their new lives that the world of before seemed like a dream. The abandoned cars that littered the highway and streets became a nuisance not a reminder. When the water stopped flowing, the acres upon acres of crops that surrounded the city had surrendered the green crops to the desert. The massive transmission towers were silent; the crackling of electricity that used to flow through them shut off that day and never came back on. They now stood as relics of an age that neither man believed was coming back. Everything around them represented a time of ease, abundance and in many ways decadence.

Neal began his daily ritual of gratitude because he wanted to remain positive but also because he knew the day of coasting would come to an end. They had managed to survive without the problems many had suffered. Not a week would go by without them encountering a wandering pack of people. For the most part they kept their distance, but occasionally they had conversations. The news from around the country wasn’t good. The blackout had affected the entire nation, from coast to coast. Everything was down; the entire electrical grid had collapsed along with most devices that had solid-state components. With the grid, society itself fell. The federal government’s response hadn’t been what the people expected, with rumors of people being gathered and systematically removed or, as some wanderers put it, people had just disappeared. 

Carlos and Neal listened to the stories and didn’t know what to believe. All they knew was their decision to stay had worked, but the day would come when something really bad would happen. This thought would nag Neal daily. Like a hovering mosquito that wouldn’t go away regardless of how many times you batted the air, the dark images of his family suffering would plague his mind. He had no issues with something happening to him, he even could tolerate Karen getting hurt, but any image of Beth in trouble made him nauseous. It was a parent’s responsibility to protect their children and die before them. If there was one thing that haunted him, it was that, losing Beth.

“I can hear you thinking,” Karen mumbled under her breath.

“You’re awake?”

Karen rolled onto her back and snuggled up to Neal. “Yeah, been awake for a while.”

“You good?” Neal asked.

“It’s never going to be the same, is it?”

“Nope.”

“It’s just so weird. You know, I don’t miss the old world.”

Neal turned his head and asked, “Really? I don’t believe that for one second. You loved your reality shows, and I swear you went through withdrawals without your Starbucks macchiatos.”

“Reality TV, no, but yes, I do miss my Starbucks.”

“I miss ice cream. I can see it now; hell, I can taste it when I think about chocolate peanut butter Haagen-Dazs.”

“And that, I miss that too,” Karen mused and drew closer.

“Does it sound odd to say I miss McDonald’s French fries?” Neal joked.

“McDonald’s? When did you eat McDonald’s?”

“Well…”

“Secrets? Now I hear about dark secrets?”

“I wouldn’t call grabbing a large fry now and then a dark secret.”

“What else have you kept from me?” Karen prodded.

“Besides all my mistresses, nothing,” he joked.

She jabbed him in the side with her elbow. “You better be kidding.”

“Ouch, I am, geez.”

“Anything else?”

“No, no other secrets.”

“Not that, anything you really miss.”

“A good sci-fi movie.”

“I miss pizza. Don’t ask me why, but a nice thin crust with roasted garlic, sausage, onion and mushroom sounds good right about now.”

“Pizza at three a.m.?”

“Anytime, God, my mouth is watering thinking about it.”

Neal leaned close and gave her a full kiss on the mouth.

She returned his kiss and began to caress his body. She stopped, pulled away slightly, and said, “I don’t miss the spare tire you were carrying. You look and feel good,” she purred.

“If only I knew the apocalypse diet was the one way to bring back my lean and mean twenty something look, I would’ve done it long ago.”

She ran her hand across his chest and belly. “Wow.”

He leaned in and kissed her again, this time more firmly and passionately.

“I’m scared,” whispered Beth from the doorway.

Neal and Karen jumped.

“What is it, sweetheart?” Karen asked.

Beth pushed the cracked door fully open and entered the moonlit room. “I had a bad dream.”

Karen got out of bed, approached Beth, and gave her a warm embrace. “Come on, honey, let’s get you back in bed.”

Beth stood firm and asked, “Can I sleep with you and Daddy?”

Karen looked towards Neal, who sat up and shrugged his shoulders.

“No, honey, you should sleep in your own bed,” Karen replied. Normally Karen would have said yes, but tonight she hoped to return and continue the intimate moment she and Neal had been having.

“No, Mommy, I’m really scared,” Beth resisted.

“Come, Beth, let’s go back to bed. It was just a bad dream.”

“I dreamed you died,” Beth cried out with tears following.

Karen knelt and gave her another embrace. “It’s okay, sweetie. It was just a bad dream, nothing more.”

“I saw you, you were there, dead,” Beth said, pointing towards the bed.

Karen petted her hair and attempted to comfort her.

“Your eyes were open, but they just stared. You were dead, Mommy, you were dead,” Beth cried.

“Karen, it’s okay. She can jump in bed with us,” Neal said softly.

“Come on, baby, jump in bed with us,” Karen said, taking her by the hand and escorting her to the bed.

Beth and Karen both got in the bed with Beth snuggled between them.

Neal leaned over and gave Beth a dozen small kisses on her cheeks and forehead. “So, Mommy and I were talking about what we’ve missed since the power stopped. So far on the list we have ice cream, sci-fi movies, French fries, pizza…”

Excited to take part in the conversation, Beth blurted out, “Mac and cheese.”

“Yeah, mac and cheese, I miss that too,” Neal said.

“But not with any of that yucky stuff you put on it,” Beth countered.

“What yucky stuff?” Neal asked.

“The hot sauce,” Beth replied.

“You just need to acquire the taste, that’s all,” Neal said, defending his use of Tapatio hot sauce.

Karen tickled Beth and said, “I agree with you, yucky.”

“Whatever, all I know is hot sauce is proof that God loves us.”

Karen rolled her eyes even though Neal couldn’t see. It wasn’t a gesture out of contempt but one of love. She and Neal had met nine years before and one thing that she loved about his personality was his humor. He was the one man that made her truly laugh.

“I miss my friends,” Beth said.

“You do?” Neal asked.

“Yeah, I miss Ella the most.”

“I know, you two were besties,” Karen said, rubbing Beth’s arm.

“Are they still alive?” Beth asked.

The question threw Karen and Neal. “Why would you ask that?” Neal asked.

“I heard you and Mom talking about seeing people dead and…”

Karen leaned in and asked, “And what?”

“I heard Daddy say something about wondering if the Reynolds and your other friends were dead.”

Karen sighed. “We were just talking.”

Neal sat up, cleared his throat, and replied bluntly, “Honey, the world has changed and not exactly for the best. It’s different and, well…”

“What were you about to say?” Karen asked him.

“It’s time we were honest with her.”

“No, she’s just a little girl.”

“Karen, she needs to know, not the gruesome details, but we can’t shield her from the realities out there.”

“No,” Karen insisted.

“Karen, I’m just going to chat with her. She’s going to find out one way or another and I’d rather have her hear it from me directly than to overhear me and not understand the context.”

Karen thought for a second before replying, “How about we discuss what you’re thinking of saying?”

Neal also paused before responding. “Fine.”

“Tell me,” Beth urged.

“No, your mother’s right. We both will discuss what’s happening out there, but do it later.”

“C’mon.”

“No, now get some sleep,” Karen said.

Beth crossed her arms and grunted.

Neal leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. “Get some sleep.”

Beth grumbled.

He got closer and whispered into her ear, “And I don’t think Ella and her parents are dead. I was just wondering. After a lot of thought I came to the conclusion they were fine. Ella’s daddy is a smart guy; I’m sure he got to Ella’s grandparents’ house safe and sound.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, now close your eyes. I need you bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning, you’ve gotta help Mommy inventory the pantry.”

“Okay, love you, Dada.”

“Love you too.”

“Love you, Mama.”

Karen kissed her and whispered, “Love you, baby.”

Neal rolled onto his back and immediately thoughts of the Reynolds came rushing in. He didn’t know for sure if they were safe, but telling Beth they were did ease her mind. Was that right for him to do? Being a parent was not an easy job, and those who thought it was were usually not parents. When you first discovered you’d be a parent, you really didn’t know what to expect. Yes, many people experienced joy but also fear came. Would you be a good parent? Would you have all the answers? Would your kids grow up to be good people? There had been many books written on parenting, but were any of them correct? How did you talk to a child about the apocalypse? he asked himself. Just how did you begin that conversation, over a family dinner? ‘Hi, Beth, the world as you know it just ended and you may not survive. Do you want rice or beans?’ He had thought before of discussing what happened with her, but he never could find that right moment. Now with her asking questions like she just did, he knew it was the time.

It didn’t take long for Beth to fall back to sleep. Her heavy and rhythmic breathing gave him peace, but it was now time for him to get up and prepare for the long day ahead.

“Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche

Guatay, CA

Charlotte woke abruptly when the door opened. She opened her eyes, but the canvas sack that covered her head prevented her from seeing. She squirmed on the floor as best she could with her arms bound behind her and her legs tied tightly together.

Voices hit her ears. She couldn’t make out if they were the same men who took her and Hope.

“Hope, you there?” she asked.

No reply.

“Hope?”

“She’s not here; she’s in another room.”

“Please don’t hurt us, please,” she pleaded.

A hand touched her arm.

She scooted away.

“I won’t hurt you, I promise. I’m here to bring you food,” the man said.

This voice was different than the others.

The man again reached and touched her arm, this time more gently. “I won’t hurt you, I swear.”

There was something in his voice that soothed her. She quit moving and allowed him to sit her upright.

The man removed the bag from her head.

Charlotte squinted and looked away when the light of the early morning hit her eyes. When her vision adjusted, she looked around to get acquainted with her new surroundings and with the man.

He was kneeling down just feet in front of her.

“Where’s my sister?”

“She’s just in the other room. She’s fine, well, not exactly fine, who could be in this situation?” the man said.

“I want to see her,” Charlotte insisted.

“Are you hungry?” the man asked.

Charlotte shook her head.

“I’ve got some food here. I’ll leave it, and you can eat when you’re hungry, okay?” the man said, setting a plate next to her.

Charlotte kicked the plate.

“That wasn’t nice,” the man said. “But I understand.” He picked up an orange that had rolled off and placed it back on the plate. “Here’s some water too. You need to stay hydrated.”

“I want my sister,” Charlotte barked.

Another man stepped in the small cinder-block room and asked, “You need help, Drew?”

Charlotte recognized this man as the one who had disarmed her.

“I got this,” Drew replied, his gaze still on Charlotte.

“Let me know, that one is feisty,” the man at the door said.

“She’s fine, just scared,” Drew countered.

“Whatever, hurry up, we have to make a run for the boss,” the man said and walked away.

“I need you to eat and drink. You need to stay strong for your sister.”

Charlotte glared.

Drew reached towards her.

Charlotte kicked his hands.

“If you’re going to eat, I need to untie your arms, and I’ll untie your legs so you can at least pace around the room.”