Honor Unraveled (23 page)

Ivy thought for a minute of being stuck on a long drive back if the evening didn’t work out for them. “I think Mama Rosa’s sounds great.”

“Works for me.” He waved her toward the door and waited for her to pass.
 

* * *

Mandy closed the door on their small talk and headed down the hall in search of Zavi. Dinner was going to be ready soon—he’d need to wash up. She’d gotten almost to the end of the hall where the corridor split before a commotion rumbled toward her from the main area of the house. To the right led to the garage and the kitchen. To the left led to the northern bedroom wing.
 

She turned and found Kit, Val, Greer, and Angel coming her way. She stepped in front of them, blocking their path to the garage. “Where are you guys going?” she asked, her arms on her hips.

“Out,” Kit answered.

“Out where?”

“For dinner.”

“You’re kidding me. Kit, you can’t keep crashing Ivy’s dates.”

“Who said we’re crashing her date?”

“Yeah,” Val said. “I have a hankering for a little Italian, ’s’all.”

Mandy glared at Val. “No Italian tonight.”

“Em, including the diner and excluding the fast-food joints, there are four restaurants in town. Not a lot to pick from. We’re tired of Winchester’s grub and don’t feel like Chinese.”

Mandy stepped out of their way. “Far be it from me to protect you from yourselves.” She looked right at Kit. “I’ve seen Ivy mad. It’s not a pretty sight. But go. Have fun.”

The guys remained in a frozen stasis, like adolescents caught sneaking out the window at 1 a.m. Kit slowly smiled as his eyes narrowed. “Well played, sis. Well played.”

“That’s it? You’re caving?” Angel asked.

“Yeah. I’m gonna wait for her here.”

* * *

Rick parallel-parked a block down from the restaurant. They were lucky to get a parking spot so close—Mama Rosa’s was usually mobbed on a Friday night. Then again, Rick had taken an early reservation. Mandy had explained he didn’t like to be out late at night.

The restaurant spanned the lower floors of two buildings. Because it routinely scored well among food critics up and down the Rocky Mountains, it was always packed on weekend nights with customers who’d traveled from as far away as Casper and Cheyenne to indulge in genuine Northern Italian cuisine.
 

Rick held the door for her. They were early—the prime dinner rush was still an hour or more away, so there were plenty of open tables. The hostess led them to one in the center of the room.

Ivy looked across the table at Rick. She took a deep breath and smiled at him as she exhaled. Her problems weren’t his fault. She owed him her focus and attention, at least for the evening. Maybe he’d be an amazingly interesting man. Maybe he’d captivate her with the adventures of his life, or his unusual observations about people. Maybe he’d be funny and have her laughing the evening away.
 

Maybe he was a god who could stand in Kit’s shoes and help her learn a new love.

Rick had thinning red-brown hair, which wasn’t a deal-breaker. Nor were the glasses he wore. His teeth were white and straight. He was close to six feet tall, with a wiry build that didn’t quite fill out his broad shoulders.
 

On the surface, he fit all the requirements she’d told Mandy she wanted. Someone near her age, give or take five years. A guy who’d put down roots in Wolf Creek Bend. Someone who owned a successful business, or a practice, or a thriving ranch. Even someone who telecommuted for a high-salary job. Someone with a pleasant personality. Children were okay. She couldn’t very well expect a potential boyfriend to accept her daughter if she weren’t willing to accept his kids.
 

Rick was stable, dependable, and not bad looking. He was what she wanted, right? A guy who wouldn’t make her worry. Someone who would be there with her through the long years ahead.
 

They made small talk through the antipasto. When the waitress brought their entrees, Ivy wanted to get to the heart of the conversation they needed to have. After all, wasn’t that what these first few dates were all about? Figuring each other out.

“Were you in love with your wife?” Ivy blurted. She looked up, caught him with his mouth open. He’d been talking about something else that had nothing to do with her question, something she obviously hadn’t been paying attention to. He visibly collected himself. Ivy’s timing sucked. “I’m sorry.”

“Yes, I was in love with her.”

“Did she love you?”

“I believed she did.”

“Do you still love her?”

“No.”

Ivy regarded him. “So it wasn’t really love, was it?”

“It was love. You don’t share your life with just anyone. Why would I marry her if I didn’t love her?”

“So where did it go? That love?”

“It ended.”

“Love doesn’t end.”

“People change. Love changes.”

Dammit. Ivy leaned back in her chair, feeling a low-level sense of dread snaking through her body. What if this was all there was? This agreeable nothingness and his belief that even that might not last.
 

“What about you? We’ve talked about me and the kids enough. Mandy told me you have a daughter.”

Ivy nodded and sipped her Chianti, hoping to ward off the aching hollowness the new dread left in her blood. “She’s twelve.” She looked at Rick, wondering how he would have handled Casey’s menstrual fiasco. Would he have carried her to her room? Would he have cleaned the bathroom after her? Would he have talked about boys and dating and being a mom, like Casey said Kit had done?

“You’re not with her father?” Rick asked.

“We never married. I was sixteen when Casey was born.”

“But he’s active in her life, right?”

Ivy shook her head. “He didn’t know about her the first half of her life. He’s been supporting her—and me—the past six years. Lately, he’s become more involved.”

Rick recoiled. She could see he was mentally lumping her in the same bucket as his ex-wife. “I’m sorry, but that’s wrong.”

Ivy leveled a look at him. She was used to people judging her and finding her wanting. But the thought that this man might condemn Kit rankled her nerves. “Which part are you objecting to? A teenager having a child, my keeping her a secret from her father, or his supporting us these past years?”

“All of it.”

“Ah.” Great. Mr. Judgmental had come out to play.

“Look, mistakes happen, but how could you not tell your daughter’s father about his baby?”

“You didn’t go to school here, did you?”

“My ex-wife did. We settled here after we were married. She was behind you in school. I don’t know if she’d remember you. Anyway, after she graduated from college, she wanted to be close to her family, so we came back here since the work I do could be done anywhere. I thought your diner was profitable.”

“It is.”

“So why are you making your ex pay for your support as well as his daughter’s? And why didn’t you want him to be a part of her life earlier?”
 

“It’s complicated. I didn’t want him to be involved with us. In the beginning.” Ever, if she were truthful with herself. What a loss that would have been for Casey. And Kit. And herself.

The waitress came over to offer dessert. Ivy had barely touched her meal, but the little she’d eaten was grumbling around in her stomach, heavy and indigestible. She wiped her mouth with her napkin, then wondered if she’d have to endure a dessert course with her date.
 

The restaurant had filled with patrons in the hour since she and Rick had arrived, filling the space with conversation and music. She was dimly aware of Rick requesting boxes. She looked at her plate, embarrassed to realize how little she’d eaten. Rick and the waitress were discussing dessert and coffee. She realized they were waiting for her to accept or decline.

“None for me, thank you.”
 

Rick took her cue and declined as well. “You seem upset, Ivy. I’m sorry if I offended you.”

Ivy mustered a smile for him. He was smug, righteous—and right. “You know, I don’t think you were wrong. It’s sometimes hard to hear what you don’t want to hear.”

He paid the check, then led her across the room with his hand gripping her elbow. The contact was a little annoying, but she didn’t make a big deal about it. She’d be home in a minute. This horrible night would be over very shortly. When they reached his car, Rick unlocked the passenger side and held the door for her. She gave him a smile, then dipped inside the car, hurrying so he wouldn’t misconstrue any pause from her as interest.
 

It was a short ride back to Ty’s house. Ivy let herself out, then moved swiftly to the front steps. Rick followed her. At the front door, there was that awkward pause that she’d hoped to avoid.
 

“Thanks for dinner, Rick. I enjoyed our conversation.”

“I was thinking of hiking the Dipper Lake Trail tomorrow. This is my weekend without the kids. Want to join me?”

Ivy shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

He stepped in closer and put his hands on her arms. All kinds of alarms started sounding in her head. She tried to pull free of him, but his grip was firm. Before she could say something, the front door opened. Mandy greeted them cheerfully. Ivy smiled in relief.
 

“Hey, you two! Did you have fun? I didn’t expect you back so early.”

“It was nice,” Ivy said as she pulled free of Rick and reached for the door.

Rick’s gaze sliced from Mandy back to Ivy. “Well, goodnight then. I’ll call you.” He turned on his heel and started down the front walkway.

“Rick,” Ivy called after him, “thanks again. For dinner. But don’t call me. I think it will frustrate us both.”

Rick waved and said something that Ivy didn’t quite hear. Mandy sucked in a noisy breath. “That good, huh?”

Ivy handed Mandy her box of leftovers. “Hungry?”

Mandy opened the box. “Did you eat anything?”

“We were talking.”

“Did he upset you?” Mandy asked, studying Ivy’s reaction.
 

“I hate dating.”

“I know. But how else are you to find someone?”

“I think I’m over it. I’m going to be the old cat lady everyone avoids on Halloween.”

“You can’t be. You’re only just starting out. Beck was nice, wasn’t he? And you haven’t yet gone out with Kit.”

Ivy nodded. He’d called a spade a spade—and he’d said she obviously wasn’t over Kit yet. And Rick had made it clear how wrong all of the choices she’d made for her and Casey’s lives were. Great. Who needed a shrink? Maybe the next handful of guys could point out the rest of her flaws so she could go bury herself in a cave somewhere.

“I’m calling it a night, Mandy. Thanks for Rick.” She smiled at her friend. “I now know a little bit more about what I don’t want in a guy.”

* * *

In her room, she showered, then pulled on a soft tee and knit shorts. She’d just shut off the light when someone knocked on her door. She padded barefoot across the carpet and opened the door. Kit stood there, his big body silhouetted against the light of the sitting room.
 

God, he was a welcome sight. More than anything, she wanted to step into him and feel his arms wrap around her.

“Hi,” she said without moving away from the door.
 

He leaned against the doorjamb. “How’d it go?”

“Come to gloat?”

“Well, I will now.” Kit smiled, then winced. “Was it that bad?”

She moved away from the door and turned on her bedside lamp. When she turned around, Kit had followed her inside the room, though he left the door open. He had to pull his eyes off her legs. Ivy felt every inch his gaze touched before he lifted it to meet her eyes. “Mandy said he was a nice guy.”

Ivy got into her bed and pulled the covers up over her folded legs. Kit sat on the side of the bed.
 

“He was nice enough. Dealing with some woman-hate issues thanks to his ex-wife.”

“Mandy told me you didn’t eat.”

Ivy made a face, wondering whose side her friend was on when it came to her and Kit. “Didn’t have much appetite.”

“If you’re hungry, I’ll go make you a sandwich.”

Ivy couldn’t think of food right now, with her stomach still in knots. She shook her head, then blurted, “I’m sorry.”

Kit frowned. “For what?”

“Everything. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you came out Michigan to see me. I’m sorry I didn’t know that you’d tried. I wasn’t the only one hurting—I’m beginning to understand that now.”

Kit got to his feet. He shoved a hand through his hair. Then both hands. Then he pivoted and walked out of her room.

Rest for Kit wasn’t a healthy, normal part of his daily life. It was more a mercenary requirement he demanded of his brain and body every so many hours. He never had dreams. He never woke feeling rested and refreshed. He never fully unplugged.