Honor & Roses (20 page)

Turning a corner at the end of a long passageway that went the length of the great hall, she halted when she saw a human shape at the far end.

“Hello?” she asked. Her voice came out thin and quiet, though loud enough to echo down the hall.

The shadow moved again, coming closer. Metal glinted dully, and she saw it was dressed as a knight in mail. What shade had come from the depths of these ruins to haunt her?

“Go away,” she warned it, stepping backward.

The shadow laughed, the sound echoing hollowly off the stones of the broken passageway.

Then it moved toward her, and she screamed.

Scarcely a second later, another shape appeared. Alric leapt between Cecily and the shadow.

There was a ringing sound, as the shade produced a weapon from the darkness and parried Alric’s blow.

“Not so fast, brother,” the shade said with an evil sounding laugh.

Alric dropped back to a more defensive position, keeping himself in front of Cecily, just as he’d done the night of the fire.

The shade stepped forward and the light shone on its face.

It was Rafe.

“Well, we’re together again, just as we once were,” Rafe said. “Touching, isn’t it? That we’re all so devoted to one another?”

“What are you doing here?” Alric asked, not lowering his guard.

Rafe took another step, then deliberately swung his sword low, giving up all defense. “Why, I’m here to offer my service to a lady. Isn’t that what we knights live for?”

Alric glared at the other
man, but lowered his sword. He looked back at Cecily, scanning her for injury. “What did he do?”

“He did nothing,” Cecily said, her eyes still wide. “It was just that I saw him and thought he was ghost. I should not have screamed.”

“Thank God you did. You don’t know what sort of villains might be lurking here…as Rafe’s appearance proves.”

“Don’t paint me as a criminal,” Rafe complained. “I’m not lurking, I’m lost. It’s a maze in here. And it’s not my fault our lady was wandering around without a chaperone.”

Cecily retorted, “It’s deserted. What need have I for a chaperone here?”

“Cecily,” Alric said. “Please leave us. I want to speak with Rafe.”

She looked as if she wanted to protest, but left when Alric repeated the order.

Then Alric turned to Rafe. “Well, why
are
you here? You were not part of this entourage. That was made very clear back at Cleobury.”

“That’s the greeting I receive from my sworn brother?” Rafe smiled thinly at Alric. “The situation has changed somewhat.”

“The wedding?” Alric couldn’t stop himself from asking.

“Oh, that will occur as the two great lords intend. Why, did you hold out some hope for a different fate?”

“Don’t try that. The subject of discussion is you,” Alric said, crossing his arms. “Specifically, your presence, uninvited.”

“I carry more letters for the lord Pierce. Also, there was some concern that your recent fever might return while you were traveling. Naturally, one more warrior defending Cecily is welcome.”

“Very welcome,” Alric muttered. It did not escape his notice that Rafe offered no document to justify his explanation. If Theobald sanctioned this, he would have sent a sealed letter with Rafe to explain the change. No, Rafe’s sudden appearance was not Theobald’s wish.

So whose was it? And what did Rafe intend to do? Alric had no answers.

Considering the hour, Alric decided the group should not travel further. “We’ll stay here.” They were equipped for it, having assumed that suitable shelter would not be available every night on the road. “These walls will be decent enough shelter, and we’ll set up a watch throughout the night.”

As the men set up the camp, Cecily and Agnes sat quietly, keeping to themselves. Alric could see how badly Cecily wanted to continue exploring the ruins of her home, though.

So he wasn’t particularly surprised when he noticed her missing from the group after everyone had eaten. He almost asked where she was, but then saw Agnes fast asleep in her seat. Cecily must have taken advantage of her nurse’s state to slip away.

He knew exactly where he would find her.

He ordered Rafe to mind the camp, telling him that he was going to walk the perimeter. “I won’t be long,” he added.

“Unless you’re set upon by thieves,” Rafe said jovially. “If you don’t come back—”

“Then send Octavian after me,” Alric said. “You’re more experienced. Your task is to remain here, in charge.”

He left the circle of firelight for the dark, forbidding ruins of the manor where Cecily was doubtless wandering again. This place was filled with memories for her. How could she not be lost in the past, considering how long her uncle kept her away from here?

Alric himself had come to Aldgate only a month or two before the Lord Rainald died. But he was struck by the injustice of such a grand and lively place falling prey to the decay of time. Many people called Aldgate home. Where had they gone?

He searched among the ruins. The moon was high in the sky by then, and he saw movement near the place where the manor house itself once stood.

She was there, in the remains of an alcove. It was the very place he’d first grabbed her arm on that night so long ago.

“Cecily?” he called when he got near.

She was standing with her face to the wall, one hand upon the cold stone blocks. When she turned to face him, he saw such pain in her eyes that he wanted to do anything in his power to smother it. “Cecily, what’s wrong?”

“Alric,” she said. “When I was standing here earlier, I remembered that night. The night my father died. You pulled me from the building that was on fire. Do you remember?”

“I remember.”

“You told me then that my father was outside. You spoke to him in the courtyard. Was that true?”

“Yes.”

“Then how was it that his body was found inside a building?” she asked.

“I don’t know.” Alric had never given it much thought until this moment. “He must have gone back in. Perhaps he tried to save someone else. Or retrieve something.”

She shook her head. “You were bringing me to him, were you not? He would have waited outside, knowing that I was coming. Wouldn’t he have waited for me?”

Alric took a step toward her, thinking he understood the source of her pain. “What happened that night wasn’t your fault, Cecily. You were just a little girl. Remember how chaotic the night was. Fire. Smoke. People running everywhere. The fire had been set by those bandits, and it was hard to tell who was friend or foe.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “Your father wanted to know you were safe. I promised him I’d keep you safe.”

“You did. Not just that night, but all the years since. I remember more now.” She sighed. “I forgot so much. Being here brought it back.”

“He would not have left you if he had any other choice, Cecily. Whatever he went back for, it must have ultimately been a good reason, though it ended badly.”

“I wish I could have seen him, spoken to him
once
more…”

“I’m sorry.”

“It seems I’m always losing the ones I most wish to keep near. My mother. My father. This whole manor and those who lived on it. Losing you to the king’s service. Now I leave my adopted home, my uncle, Pavia, even Agnes. And I’m going to a place where I’ll be the stranger. Will I always be leaving those I care about? Will there never be one who loves me near—”

He put one finger to her lips, stopping the words. Cecily tilted her head up, eyes wide. Her hands curled around his neck to keep him close, as if there was the slightest chance he’d want to get away.

He slipped his arm around her waist. It was easy to hold her.

“I am near, and I love you,” he said.

The look on her face made the revelation worth it: astonishment, wonder, even joy.

“Did you say that? Or did I only wish you did?”

“I love you,” he said again. “I always have.”

“Alric,” she said, her voice no more than a breath. “You kissed me when you returned home to Cleobury. Kiss me again, now that we’ve truly returned home.”

What could he do against that? He bent to kiss her on the mouth.

She raised her head and responded, more sweetly than any other woman he’d known. He knew he shouldn’t allow her to continue, but it was Cecily, with her delicious softness and her sweet skin and her smile when he held her tighter.

“Stay with me,” she pleaded, her eyes large, their grey tint turned silvery in the moonlight.

He never wanted to leave her. His fever dream of her was nothing compared to the real woman. This Cecily was far more alluring.

“Is this right, how I’m kissing you?” she asked once, her voice so close to his ear that he shivered.

“Yes,” he told her. This was right. He wanted more. He pulled her through the doorway, finding a more private spot.

Having Cecily all to himself was a temptation he couldn’t fight any longer. He kissed Cecily over and over, tasting her lips and her tongue and her skin. He loved all of her. His hands slipped around to her back, pulling her closer to him. He needed her close. She’d been so far away for so long.

Cecily tightened her arms around him in an embrace that seemed just as desperate as his. “I thought I might never touch you again,” she whispered. “And I can’t stop thinking of what’s to come. Can you stop my thoughts, just for a little while?”

He could try. What better way to ease Cecily’s mind than by turning all attention to her body? He pushed her against the wall so he could hold her there while he explored her neck with his mouth. He moved lower still, to the neckline of her gown. He spent a moment tracing the edge of her skin with first his tongue, then one finger that trailed after along the newly wet flesh.

Cecily shivered in reaction, tightening her hold on his shoulders. “If you love me, don’t let me go,” she begged in a soft voice.

What a tempting request. If he wanted, he could simply take her with him right now. Grab her by the hand and turn west, using the dark of night for cover as they fled into Wales. Who would find them? All he needed to do was find a lord to fight for. No one would care that he was English—only that he wielded a sword. He could support himself and Cecily that way, and have her all to himself.

Her hands were moving over him, exploring. Her fingers ran through his hair, down his neck, to his shoulders. He loved how she touched him. He needed to know how her touch would feel on bare skin. He needed to feel more of her.

Without thinking, he slid a hand down her body and gathered up the fabric of her skirts till he could feel the softness of her thigh.

Cecily inhaled sharply then, unprepared for the sensation.

Only when he heard her gasp in surprise did he recall himself.

“What am I doing to you?” he asked.

She also went still, though her expression held more of wonder than worry. “You were showing me you love me,” she whispered.

“All I was showing was lust,” he growled.

“The words don’t matter,” she said, pulling him closer again. “Keep showing me.”

“No. I’m not going to ruin you.”

“You should! Then we can…”

“No.” The reality of their situation rushed back over him, a cold tide after the moments of stolen heat. “You’d still be married off to this lord, with the hope that your ruined state wouldn’t be noticed.”

“I couldn’t marry another after you…” She choked off, realizing fully what she was suggesting. She took her hands away from him. “What am I doing?”

“Nothing. I did all that to you. I should not have.”

“But I wanted you to.” Cecily looked as confused and miserable as he felt

A wave of bitterness swept over him. “Well, you’ll soon be married, and he’ll do the same things to you. Far more.”

“He will not,” Cecily said, though she sounded unconvinced.

Alric wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all. “Of course he will. He’ll find you as beautiful as I do. And
he’ll
have the right to touch you. Perhaps you’ll beg him to.”

“No. I don’t want any other man to touch me like that. Please, Alric. There must be some way…”

“None that will preserve your honor. Or mine. And certainly no way where we can live as you were brought up. You don’t want to be the wife of a mere knight. Especially one hated by Theobald, probably hunted for stealing his only niece. That’s not the life you want.”

“Don’t presume to tell me what I want,” she said fiercely.

“Cecily, you are not in a position to decide your own fate.”

She looked close to tears. “I hate it! I don’t want to be who I am. What’s the point of love if it rends instead of builds?”

“Don’t say love.”

“Why not? You did!” Her face lit up for one moment as she relived it, then she said in a tone of wonder, “You told me you love me.”

“I shouldn’t have,” he said. “It’s not my place.”

“I love you,” she said. “Do you believe me? I love you.”

“You don’t. And you shouldn’t. I took advantage of your trust.”

She shook her head, refusing to listen to his logic. “I trust you because I love you. I’ve always loved you. For years. Since long before you left Cleobury as a knight.”