Honor Reclaimed (All About Honor) (23 page)

“It is not that simple Drew there is
the…” she was interrupted.

“Mommy, mommy, Janet won’t let me
have my turn.”
 
Alexander came
running to Elle so that she could make everything right in his life as she
always did.
 

Drew’s heart stopped.
 
It was like looking in the mirror and
seeing a miniature image of
himself
.
 
Cobalt blue eyes, so
like
his own,
looked back up at him.
 
The black curls around his face intensified the blue, just as they did
in his father.
 
There was no doubt
in his mind that he was looking at his son.
 
Tears welled up in his eyes and he felt a knot in his throat
that momentarily kept him from speaking.

“Alexander, sweetheart, please
remember
that you are a gentleman and that a gentleman
always allows a lady to go first.
 
Now you run along and play nicely with your cousins or we may have to
call Nanny to come put you to bed early.”
 
Elle was firm but gentle.

“Yes ma’am, but it is not fair, just
because she is a dumb old girl.
 
It
was my turn.”
 
Alexander turned to
leave when he noticed the gentleman that had been talking to his mother.
 
“Good evening sir, my name is
Alexander, what is your name?”

Drew pulled himself together and
squatted down to be at eye level with the boy.
 
“Hello young sir, it is a pleasure to met you.
 
My name is Andrew.
 
I am an old friend of your mother’s and
I am very happy to make your acquaintance.
 
I know what you mean about girls.
 
They have always gotten me into trouble too.”
 
Drew felt his heart melt when he looked
at his son, and then it hardened when he looked back at Elle.

“Sweetheart, you go play with your
cousins.
 
Mommy needs to speak with
Sir Andrew right now.”
 
Alexander
ran off to play as he was instructed to.
 
Sinking down on the bench under the tree, Elle closed her eyes waiting
to see what Drew’s reaction would be.
 
She did not have to wait long.

“How could you do it?
 
How could you not let me know I had a
son?
 
Did it never occur to you
that I might want to have a place in his life?”
 
Drew was hurt and it was obvious in his voice.

“Drew I am sorry, but that was
exactly what I was afraid of.
 
I
was terrified when I found out that I was pregnant.
 
I prayed that it was your baby, or that there was at least something,
some small feature, that I could attribute to you so that I could believe that
he was your son and not the child of one of my rapists’.
 
We have to be careful what we pray for,
because I do not know how anyone who knows you could look at him and not know
that he is your son.
 
Drew I love
him so much.
 
I was afraid if you
knew you would want to take him from me.
 
Please do not take him.
 
He
is all I have, all I will ever have.
 
I would die if you took him.”
 
She broke down and her shoulders shook with the force of her tears.
 
Drew knelt down in front of Elle and
took her in his arms to comfort her, just as he was blind-sided by a small
bundle of fury.
 

Little fist plummeted him on his
back, arms and shoulders.
 
“Get
your hands off of her.
 
You dare
not hurt my mommy.
 
Leave her
alone.
 
Go away.” Alexander was
like a mother bear protecting her cub only the roles were reversed.

Drew was torn between comforting
Elle, and comforting his son.
 
He
turned and grabbed hold of Alexander.
 
Picking him up in his arms, he cuddled him close to his chest, “Son, I
am not hurting your mother.
 
She is
just crying because she is so glad to see me.
 
It has been so long since she has seen me and she is just
happy.
 
Have you never seen her cry
when she is happy?”

“Oh yes, a lots of times.
 
Are you sure you are alright
Mommy?”
 
Alexander asked.

“Thank you baby, I am fine.
 
You are Mommy’s little hero.”
 
Her heart almost broke as she watched
Andrew hold Alexander’s little cheek against his heart, resting his own cheek
on the top of Alexander’s head.
 
A
tear trickled out of the corner of Drew’s closed eyes.
 
She now understood that she had been
unfair in not sharing Andrew’s son with him.
 
She was surprised by the obvious depth of
his emotions
while he held his son.
 
“Everything is alright now so you just run along and let me
talk to Sir Andrew.
 
We have
important adult business to discuss.”
 
She kissed him on his little cherub lips and sent him on his way.

“Are you really alright Elle?
 
You must know that I do not want to hurt
you.
 
I can see how much you love
him, and you have done such a great job with him.
 
I would not take him away from you.”
 
He took Elle in his arms, holding her
close for a few minutes in much the same way he had Alexander.
 
He could only remember ever feeling
this emotional and close to tears one time in his adult life, and that time
involved Elle as well.
 
He had
thought that leaving Eirian was the hardest thing he had ever done, but this
was so much deeper.
 
“Has it not
been hard on him?
 
The world is not
kind to bastard children.”
 
Drew
was sad for what he was sure that Alexander and Elle must have suffered.

“The world does not know that he is
a bastard.
 
When my family found
out that I was with child, they circulated the story that I had been wed to a
gentleman who left me here to return to the colonies to prepare a home for
us.
 
He was to return for me, but
died before he could.
 
As far as
anyone else knows I am a widow.”
 
Elle explained.

“I find it strange that people
believe such stories.
 
No one challenged
you on it?”
 
Drew could not fathom
what other
people
what were willing to believe.

“I had never given anyone any reason
to doubt me.
 
My family keeps
moving me around between relatives so that people did not have too long to
ponder the details of the story.
 
To be frank, there is no one who has gotten close enough to care.
 
I have been living with Gwen and Thomas
for the last several months.
 
They
are the only ones who know for sure the truth of Alexander parentage.
 
Gwen took one look at Alexander and
knew you were the father.
 
Thomas
wanted to kill you.
 
I pleaded with
him and tried to explain the circumstances.
 
If anyone else suspected they have not challenged me on
it.”
 
Elle’s kept her voice flat
and void of emotion.

“I wondered what Thomas had up his
sleeve.
 
I am here on his
invitation and it is clear that he and Gwen set me up, God bless them.
 
They wanted me to see Alexander.
 
They knew I would know that he was my
son.
 
Elle, I do not want to take
him from you, but I want to be a part of his life.
 
I need to be a part of his life.
 
I do not know how, but we will find a way.”
 
Now that he knew about Alexander there
was a connection that went straight to his heart.
 
“Will you come back to the colonies with me?
 
I could set you up in a house with an
income.”
 
Drew offered.

“Drew, I will not become your
mistress.
 
I am not that
desperate.”
 
Elle informed him.

“That is not what I was suggesting
Elle.
 
Surely you know I regard you
higher than that.”
 
He said
seriously and then added with his typical bad boy style, “However, you cut me
to the quick.
 
I’ll have you know
that there are a lot of women that would jump at the chance to be my
mistress.”
 
Elle just gave him a
weak smile.

“All joking aside,” Drew
continued.
 
“As a widow you should
be able to find a husband in pretty quick order.
 
Gentle women are still something of a sacristy there.
 
We could allow people to think that you
are some sort of relative and that would explain why I am supporting you and
why Alexander looks so much like me.”
 
Drew held his breath hoping that she would agree.

“I just don’t know.
 
I have never seriously thought of
leaving England.
 
All of my family
is here, everything I know and love.
 
I am just not sure.”
 
It was
tempting. Elle thought she could make a new start there, but it was so
frightening to think of and she must consider what was best for Alexander.

“Honey, I know life has not been
easy for you.
 
Part of that is my
fault.
 
I should not have allowed
you to talk me into making love to you that night.
 
Obviously, you were not already pregnant.
 
If I had used my better judgment, you
could have returned home and very few people would have known that anything was
amiss.
 
You could have gone on with
your life.
 
You have lived as an
outcast for almost six years because of me.
 
I am so sorry.”
 
Drew felt so guilty.
 
He had
taken her youth away from her.

“Please do not feel that way.
 
My family has been wonderful and
supportive.
 
They knew it was not
my fault.
 
I would not have traded
Alexander for anything.
 
He is my
life.
 
You do not have to feel
guilty.
 
You did as I begged, plus
you showed me that there is more to the act of sex than pain and degradation.
 
You made me feel safe, cherished, and
beautiful if only for one night.
 
It helped me, not to forget, but at least be able to deal with some of
what I went through.
 
For that I
thank you.”
 
She leaned forward and
kissed him on the cheek.

Being unused to complements Drew
blushed.
 
“Well Mistress, uh
Madame, I was glad to oblige.
 
If
you need a reminder I can help you out there too.”
 
He said with an evil grin.

“Thank you, it is a tempting
thought, but I can not afford to make another mistake in my life, I have
Alexander to think of now.”
 
It was
Elle’s turn to blush.
 

“You have always been so
special.
 
My son is lucky to have
such a beautiful mother.
 
Motherhood has been good to you.
 
You were always a pretty girl, but you have become an incredibly
beautiful woman.
 
Are there anymore
at home like you?
 
No wait, that is
it.
 
Elle you need to marry me.”
 
Drew was proud of
himself
for realizing the solution to their dilemma, but shocked when Elle dissolved
into tears.

“I hate you.
 
Why would you be so cruel?”
 
Elle threw back at him.

“Elle, Honey, I am confused.
 
I have never proposed to anyone before,
but I do not think it is good form to tell your prospective intended that you
hate him.
 
What did I do
wrong?”
 
Drew was not sure what he
should do at that point.

“It is not fair to tease me this
way.
 
I would never mock you, at
least not about something this important.”
 
Elle threw back at him.

“Oh how stupid of me.
 
I am supposed to be the great lover and
look at how I messed this up.
 
Elle, Honey, I am serious.”
 
Drew went down on his knee, taking Elle’s right hand in his and bringing
it to his lips he said solemnly, “Elle, will you do me the very great honor of
becoming my wife?”

“Oh my, you are serious.
 
I am sorry.
 
I do not know what to say.
 
You really are serious, are you not? Why?
 
Why would you want to marry me?”
 
Elle was so confused.