Honeymoon For One (2 page)

She opened the oven door and looked at the
 ham steak. It looked just perfect.

The ham steak was cooked to perfection and on a
normal day Ava would have had a second  helping. As it was, she was having
problems getting down her first portion down.

When she couldn’t stand it any longer, she put
down her cutlery and looked for the right time to do it.

“I have something to say,” she announced. She
could feel her heart thumping away and the back of her throat pulsating as her
mother and sister looked up sharply from their food. Carlos chewed impassively
and only a sharp dig in the ribs from Rona made him sit up and pay
attention. 

“The wedding’s off,” said Ava flatly.

Carlos stopped chewing for a few seconds. Rona
said, “What?” then “Are you sure?”

Only her mother remained silent. Ava felt her
mother’s stare penetrating her soul.

“What? Why?” repeated Rona, putting down her
napkin. Beside her, Carlos’s fork slipped and landed on his plate with a
nervous clatter.

“He says he can’t go through with it and that he’s
sorry,” said Ava. She stared at them all with her gray-blue eyes, that now showed
signs of a tearful night.

She swallowed some water. Her throat was parched
and although her fever had gone, she now felt her face getting hot again. The
dark circles under her eyes gave her face a sunken appearance. In the
background, they heard the stirring noises of a baby’s cry. Spellbound, Rona
ignored it. “B-B-but the wedding’s six weeks away!” Rona gasped.  

“Why’d it take him so long to realize? Its
probably just his nerves. A lot of men go through that,” she suggested
hopefully.

“Carlos didn’t,” said Ava, playing with her food.

“I wouldn’t dare,” Carlos muttered under his
breath.

Tori’s crying turned louder still.

“Will you go and check on the baby for
chrissakes!” hissed Rona. Reluctantly, Carlos put down his fork and got up.

Elsa watched her daughter carefully. She looked
tired, drained and her beautiful face seemed thinner than she had ever seen. She
could tell that Ava was deliberately avoiding her gaze.

“Are you sure this is final, Ava?” Elsa asked,
reaching out her hand and clasping her daughters in hers.

At no time since he had jilted her, had Ava felt
as sad as she did now. It was the love and concern of her immediate family that
saddened her. “He said he’s not the marrying type, mom. He said wedding talk
scared him. It scared him so much he slept with another woman a few weeks ago.”

Elsa put her hand to her mouth.

Rona and Carlos gasped together.

And the baby started crying louder than ever.

“Better that you found out now, my love,” said
Elsa, squeezing her daughter’s hand even tighter.

Rona got up to take the baby from Carlos then
walked over to Ava, with Tori balanced precariously on her hip, and gave Ava a
kiss on the head.

“He obviously doesn’t deserve you.”

Sisters would say that, thought Ava miserably. The
truth of it was that she missed Connor. He should have been sitting here beside
her. He should have been a part of this family meal. He would have been joining
her family and soon they would have been a married couple. But now all of those
dreams had disappeared.

“Are you sure it’s not just a misunderstanding
Ava? Something about him getting cold feet? Can this be sorted out?”

Ava shook her head. No. There was nothing to be
sorted out here. It had happened and perhaps it had happened for the best.

It wasn’t that Connor was getting cold feet now.
It was just that his feet had never been firmly there in the first place.

It was Valentines Day and it should have been
Ava’s wedding day. Instead Rona had come over with Tori, helping Ava to clear
up her apartment.  Neither her mother nor her sister had wanted Ava to
spend the day alone.

But what Rona didn’t know was that Ava had been
busy packing for her solo honeymoon.  

Ever since Connor had left her, Ava bad busied herself
with wedding preparations once more, except that this time she was busy
cancelling everything that she had spent the past year organizing. All the
suppliers, dressmakers, caterers and party planners had been informed and all
the money had been refunded, minus the cancellation costs.

When Rona had come over this morning with Tori,
the two women had gone through the last few things that needed to be dealt
with. But then only half an hour since arriving Tori started crying and Ava
needed to clear her head. She had gone for a five mile run and now that she had
returned, her head was clearer and she decided it was the right time to tell
Rona of her decision.

“You’re doing what? Tell me, did I hear it wrong
or what?” cried Rona aghast. Baby Tori was spitting drool all over her shoulder,
as Rona faced Ava with the baby on one hip and performing a fine balancing act.

“I’m going on the honeymoon,” countered Ava, as
she sauntered around the room in her tracksuit pants. Her hair was untidily
thrown up into a high ponytail and the sweat from her run left a shiny trail on
her face.

“But we’ve been cancelling everything for the past
few weeks!” cried Rona in consternation.

“Wrong,” said Ava, “
You’v
e been cancelling
the hotel, the caterers and telling people.
I’ve
been dealing with the
honeymoon and wedding dresses.”

“And you didn’t cancel the honeymoon?” said Rona
slowly, looking at her younger sister in utter bewilderment. “Let me guess. Mom
knows about this too, right?” Ava nodded her head, unable to stop herself from
bursting out laughing, seeing the look of horror on her sister’s face.

“And, wait, wait,” said Rona, drool staining her
yellow t-shirt as she walked around with a yellow muslin square in her hand.
“Mom’s all for it, isn’t she?”

“Yes indeed. She thinks it’s the best thing for
me,” said Ava. She sat on the floor untying her shoe laces. She remembered her
mother’s reaction when she told her what she was planning on doing.

“Go Ava, go and enjoy yourself and forget all
about this mess here. Sometimes things look bleak just before you hit the
peaks. Go.”

Her mother had been instrumental in helping Ava
get over the shock of what Connor had done. Yet she had always had a feeling
that her mother was not really too fond of Connor. She sighed with a big smile on
her face as she looked up at her sister who was stood before her still
perplexed.

“Let me get this straight. We both cancelled all
things wedding related. I mean, that’s what we’ve been doing the past month,
right?” asked Rona, wiping Tori’s face.

Ava nodded.

“And now you tell me that everything is done,
cancelled, finished, ended,
except
the honeymoon?” The muslin square was
flying furiously in her hand as she gesticulated at full speed, using her hands
for exaggeration.

Ava nodded.

“And you’ve got this half baked idea of still
going on honeymoon. Alone? Is that really true?” asked Rona. The muslin square
had come to a complete standstill.

Ava
nodded.

“Does Connor know?”

“Does he need to? He’s not in my life anymore.”

“Right,” said Rona, backing off. The idea was
still alien to her. But her mother and sister were convinced it would be the
best thing for Ava right now.

Ava pulled off her trainers and sat with her back
flat against the wall. Her morning run had done its usual wonders for her mind
and body. When she ran, the blood flushed through her veins, her lungs fought
for air and her muscles strained to go the distance. It was all of these things
that made her feel alive and free.

It was also on her runs that she thought about
Connor and tried to sift through the debris of their relationship. It was at
these times that her mind allowed her to focus on three years together, to hone
in on different events and to piece together just when it had all started to go
so wrong.

If he hadn’t been as blunt with her about the
woman he slept with at the convention she might have had a harder time letting
go. But for Ava, trust and loyalty were everything. And for her it wasn’t even
worth fighting for the relationship. She knew she could never trust him again.

Connor didn’t know it, but by performing that very
act of betrayal, he had allowed Ava to sever the heartstrings that bound them
together.

“When are you going?”

“Tomorrow,” replied Ava calmly, waiting for the
bomb to burst.

“Tomorrow! And you waited until the last minute to
tell me?”

Ava nodded apologetically. “I didn’t mean to hold
out on you but if I had told you any sooner, you would have tried to talk me
out of it.”

“What exactly do you propose to do out there all
on your own?” asked Rona, not without a touch of malice in her voice. She
placed the baby onto the floor where she sat down and drooled some more onto
her bib.

“Enjoy myself?” said Ava cheekily. “You know Rona,
it finally occurred to me, that I don’t need to have a man around me to feel
validated.” She rubbed her aching feet with her slender fingers.

“That may be but this man who
validated
you,”
said Rona, mimicking Ava’s words, “he was with you for three years.” There was
a hint of sarcasm in her voice before she softened her tone a little. “Look, I’m
glad he’s out of your life. I’m glad that the one decent thing he did after
ditching you was to tell you about that whore he slept with.”

“She wasn’t a whore, she was a woman from another
firm.”

“Right,” said Rona, walking around, picking Tori’s
things up off the floor. “Like I said, she was a whore.”

“She might not have known that he was engaged.”

“Are you best friends with this woman all of a
sudden?”

“She might have done me a favor, said Ava hotly,
her face was glowing now and she needed to take a shower. In actual fact, she
needed Rona out of her apartment because she needed time alone to think.

“How’s that?” asked Rona, stopping and waiting for
an answer  with a baby rattle in her hand.

“Maybe we wouldn’t have worked out. Maybe I got
too carried away with the wedding and it scared him. I feel as though we’ve
been walking different paths this past year. Mostly. Maybe she was the last
straw. He was in denial and I was up to my eyeballs in pink organza wedding
favors. I just don’t feel ….as……….sad as I think I should.” Ava pulled her
knees up and hugged her arms around them.

“Maybe that woman did me a favor. What if I’d
married Connor and it was the wrong thing to do?”

Rona slid down on the floor next to Ava and tapped
her on the knee with the baby rattle. “I never had any of those doubts, so I
can’t tell you the answer to that. But, maybe, like you said, maybe this
holiday will do you some good. Take time out and clear your head.” She leant
her head against Ava’s and they sat quietly for a few moments while Tori
gurgled happily on the floor.

There was only one thing left to do and Ava didn’t
want to do it. She didn’t want to face Connor, even though he had left many
messages on her phone, sent her texts and emails and even turned up at her
apartment. But that was only the one time. After that she hadn’t seen him again
and he had stopped trying to contact her. It wasn’t that he wanted a
reconciliation because Ava knew it was the furthest thing from her mind. Connor
only wanted to talk. He wanted to explain himself. But as far as Ava was
concerned, they had had their three years of talking and no amount of
explaining was going to change anything anymore.

“Just be careful. And promise me one thing?” said
Rona, getting up and putting all of the baby’s toys into her baby bag. “If you
insist on taking this trip alone, it’s not that I’m worried about you crying
and feeling sad ‘cos I see that you’re done with all of that.”

Ava
shrugged and wondered what her sister was going to make her promise.

“I’ve heard that in Italy, the men are hot
blooded. You with your long dark hair and dazzling gray eyes are going to
attract a lot of attention, especially going alone and all that. I know what
you’re like, you’ll take off here and there by yourself with no thought for
your own safety. Promise me that you’ll at least wear your wedding band.”

“I don’t have a wedding band. Remember? We didn’t
quite make it to the altar.”

“Here, take one of mine. It’s not my wedding ring
but it’ll do. It’s the least you can do for me.”  She twisted off one of
the many rings she wore on her fingers and handed Ava a plain one. “Here,” she
said, handing it over. “It’ll keep you safe from the men who’ll hassle you if
they think you’re single.”

“How?” asked Ava, getting off the floor now and
facing Rona with her hands on her hips. “Tell me,” she insisted, her curiosity
piqued more than ever.

“They will think you’re married and they’ll leave
you alone,” said Rona smugly.