Honey and Decadence (5 page)

She gave in to the good feelings and let the climax wash her away. Her vision blurred and she gasped for breath. Her pussy clenched and she shivered. Above her, Sean pulled out and ripped off the condom. His seed spurted on her chest and belly. He groaned and yanked on his cock. Another ribbon of cum streaked onto her skin.

Despite the cuffs, Roxy sagged on the bench and panted. Holy shit, Sean wore her out in all the right ways. From her head to her toes, she stuck to the vinyl covering, but she didn’t care. For once in her life, she was happy. A tiny voice in the back of her head screamed love—for him. Her gut response mirrored the voice. She stared at the ceiling. Thoughts raced through her brain. Listen to the voice and stay put, or erect the wall between them once again?

Sean tossed the used condom in the garbage then unbuckled the cuffs. The collar came away from her neck and the leash ended up with it on the floor. “I love you.”

When she winced and pulled away from him, he helped unfold her body, then cradled her in his arms. “What are you thinking about, Rox? Let me into your secret world.”

“I’m wondering what your middle name is.” The words
I love you
teetered on her tongue. Instead she blurted the first thing to come to mind. “I’m thinking about what my life would be like without you.”

Chapter Five

“Come with me.” Sean kissed her shoulder. “I want to spend time with you.” He carried her into the bathroom then placed her on her feet. “My middle name is Landon. Family name.” He twisted the knob. She’d not only let him cover her in food, but he’d come all over her. Few women got into such play and damn it, he craved her. He wanted to tell her so many things and welcome her into his life for good. But shit. Some of his past could make her run. Then there was her reaction to his proclamation of love. She’d winced. Not the exuberant cheer he had expected.

“This is your shower? I mean, it must be, it’s in your house, but wow. It’s huge.” Roxy slid the door open and steam billowed from the shower stall. “I love it.” She stepped into the vast space and rolled her shoulders under the hot spray. The water sluiced over her body, giving her the look of a soaked goddess. His cock throbbed. He palmed his burgeoning erection.

Sean eased into the stall behind her and grabbed a washcloth. “Let me pamper you.” He added soap to the cloth, then squished it to build up a hearty lather. “I’ve become rather attached to you.” He massaged the soapy cloth down her shoulder. “More than I ever believed.”

“Me, too.” Roxy brushed her hair off her shoulders. “But why me? You could have any woman you want. I’m sure all kinds of glamorous women would love to decorate your arm.”

“There’s a difference. Most women want the fame and perceived trappings of money. I don’t have a lot of money. I’ve got a thriving restaurant I own with my best friend and a nice house because I inherited it from my folks.” He squatted down behind her and washed her ass and legs, taking the extra time to clean the honey and chocolate off her. “Turn.”

When Roxy did as he asked, he smoothed the cloth up between her legs and rubbed her pussy. “I don’t trust many people. You’re one of them.” Roxy wobbled on her feet and clutched his shoulders. “I’m glad I chose you.”

He stood and ran water through the cloth.

“What is it about you?” She draped her arms around his neck. “You’re right. Most of the girls at Delight are scared of you because you always look so angry and commanding. You walked into Push like you owned the place. You don’t own Push, too, do you?”

“No.” He eased her backwards under the spray to dampen her hair. “I go there, but don’t own it. It’s a place to play. No emotions involved.”

“Are your emotions involved when we play?”

His heart hammered. Time to talk about his past. “I don’t love easily.” Sean scrubbed the back of his hand across his mouth. “I’ve always been shy. Girls paid attention to me when they found out my dad had money. He owned part of a record company and sold his shares before it went belly up.”

“Bet that was fun. Did you get insight into new bands?”

“He got out of that business before my time. Mom didn’t have me until she was thirty-nine and Dad was forty-one.” He worked the shampoo into her hair. “I never made a point to act like we had money. Girls knew and tried to date me to latch on to the status. They didn’t really care about me. Then came Rebekah. We met in college. She didn’t just see the dollar signs. She saw me.” He bowed his head. “She turned me on to the world of BDSM and showed me things I never would’ve seen. I followed her headlong into the lifestyle and trained as a Dom. I did pretty well, but I wasn’t one to go along with the rules. I like my subs to talk to me and I like to use food. Crazy, huh?”

“Not to me.”

“She pretended to like what I got into. I fell head over heels for her and begged her to marry me. Guess that was the big flashing sign our relationship wouldn’t last. She said no. I begged more, she refused even more.”

“What happened?”

“She dumped me. I was too much of a freak and not hot enough in bed because I wouldn’t go to some of the extremes she needed.” Sean grimaced, then blinked to blot out the memories. “My heart broke and I gave up on love.” He stepped under the spray to rinse off, then shook his head. “I go to Push to be around the lifestyle. You’ve seen it. Any fantasy you can dream up is probably being played out somewhere in that club. It’s kinky and hot, but not what I want all the time.”

“What do you want?”

“I want a woman who is willing to stand beside me and submit to me. Someone who doesn’t want to fix me, but can handle all my quirks and kinks.” He’d been blunt. Probably more than she expected. “I want you.” He cupped her face in both hands. “You know how to put me in my place, then turn around and submit like a pro. I’m not broken or screwed up, but when I’m with you I feel like I’m a new man. You’re hot as hell covered in satin or honey and you crave that release when you’re spanked.”

“I do.”

“And I happen to know you earned your BA in accounting. Are you interested in helping me with the books? You can do payroll or whatever you want instead of waitressing.”

“Why would you do that? We’re having sex. An affair. You act like this is something that will last forever.”

“This isn’t just sex or an affair. My heart is in what we do one hundred per cent. I love you, Roxy. To hell with the no staff dating rule. When I’m with you, no one else exists. My stress goes away and I’m happy. I want to keep that feeling. I want you in my life. I mean it. I’m in love with you.”

He held his breath and gauged her reaction. She didn’t throw her arms around his neck. Didn’t scream or cry. Just stared at him. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before she finally spoke.

“I need time.” Her eyes widened and she inched away from him. “You don’t know me. What if I were really some scheming bitch trying to steal all your money?” She slid the stall door open. With her back to him, she retreated out of the shower.

“Rox.” He turned the water off before racing after her.

Roxy shook her head and hurried into her rumpled clothes. “I’m no good for you.” She tripped getting into her jeans and tumbled backwards.

Sean caught her then carried her to the bed. “Hey.” He stilled her hands with one of his and smoothed the soggy locks of her hair off her face. “We’ve worked together for two years now. I might not look like I pay attention, but I’ve watched you at the restaurant. You’re kind and sweet. You go out of your way to help others and want everyone to get along. You’re submissive to your core and you love with your entire heart.” He rubbed his cheek on her shoulder. “Time doesn’t matter to me. My heart belongs to you and has since we played the first time two nights ago, maybe even since you started working for me.”

This time she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Then give me time to sort this all out. I love what we’ve done and I want to do more, but I’m in over my head.” Tears slipped down her cheeks. “Please?”

“You know where I am.” He placed her hand over his heart. “You own me. Always.”

* * * *

Sean hiked his boxer shorts up over his hips, then folded his arms. She’d gone. Just like he’d figured. But this time, he wasn’t worried. The spark between them hadn’t died when she’d left. Nope. His feelings for her grew stronger. The past didn’t own him—he owned the past and had moved on.

He picked up a picture of Rebekah he kept tucked between two tattered books on his bookshelf. The one last reminder of what he’d shared with her.

“Bekah, I thought I’d never get past what we shared.” He grabbed the corners of the photograph and tore. The wounded pieces of his heart mended with each rip of the image. “You showed me the world I belong in and gave me the strength to grab what I truly want.” He tossed the pieces into the fireplace. “Thanks and good riddance.”

Sean flipped the switch to ignite the gas logs. The paper crinkled, sizzled, then turned to ash. He dowsed the gas, then stared out of the window to where Roxy had parked before she drove away.

“Love you, Roxy. Just don’t forget about me.”

* * * *

Roxy sat at the bar and stabbed her salad. She’d worked four straight split shifts in five days and the late hours had caught up with her. Each time she went into the kitchen for an order, she looked for Sean, but he didn’t turn up. No gifts or little notes. Nothing. And why should he leave her anything? She’d walked out on him after he’d said he loved her.

She covered her mouth with her hand. Guys didn’t confess their feelings. They bottled and compartmentalised. Not Sean. He’d been honest with her. The sex sizzled, yes, but he craved her touch, her kiss and her love, too. She balled her fist and closed her eyes. What was she hiding from?

“Hey, Rox? Is your salad okay?”

She opened her eyes and blinked back the tears. “Hi, Elias.” She placed the fork on the plate then folded her hands. “It’s good. I’m not as hungry as I thought.”

“Huh.” He stretched the soda gun and refilled her drink. “Sean said the same thing to me last night. Not hungry and lost in thought. Don’t know anything about that, do you?”

“He did?” Her voice cracked and dropped an octave. “How’s he doing?”

“Good, surprisingly.” Elias wiped up the spilt soda, then rested his forearms on the bar top. “He told me how he feels about you.”

“How he hates me.” She scooted down in her seat. “I left in a hurry and didn’t say things I should’ve said. Everything got so screwed up.”

“That broke his heart, yeah, but he’s more resilient than you think. We went to Push last night. I wanted a drink and a wing man. He volunteered. It’s funny. I’ve never seen him turn down an offer to play, especially not at Push. But he did. Every time someone gave him the come-on look, he raised his glass, then refused.”

“Oh.”

“What are you worried about? He’ll hurt you?”

“No.”

“Then what? Sean’s not made of money, but he’ll treat you like a princess.”

“What if he changes his mind and realises he wants someone else? Someone better?”

“What if you do? He’s pretty well invested in you. Have you ever seen him take off that huge watch? No, except when he’s with you, and why? Because he doesn’t want anyone to see that tattoo of his initials. He’s very protective, but when you walk in the room he opens up.” Elias picked at the edge of his rag. “That’s the beauty of love. You never know if or when the floor will collapse beneath you, but you have faith it won’t. Sean is my best friend and I trust him with my life. He’s a man of his word and his faith is in you. If he says you’re the one he wants, then he means it all the way.”

She stared at Elias for a long time. He was right. Sean didn’t back down from her because of her looks or intelligence. Hell, he’d encouraged her to use her degree. She wiped her face. “Elias, do you need me tonight?”

“You’re not quitting, are you?”

“I need to see Sean.”

“Take the time you need.” He grinned. “Rock his world.”

She untied her apron and sprinted through the back of the restaurant to the back parking lot. Sean had said he’d wait for her. Now she had to hope he meant what he’d said.

“Don’t give up on me now,” she murmured and stepped on the gas. “Please, Sean.” She raced across town in record time and screeched to a halt in his driveway. Roxy bolted up to the front door and pressed the bell. “Come on, Sean. It’s only five in the afternoon. You’ve got to be home.”

The storm door jiggled, then the steel door opened. Sean blinked and yawned, then rested one hand on the door frame. The sleep pants rested low on his hips and his bare feet poked out from under the worn cuffs. His hair stuck up in all directions, like he’d just rolled out of bed. “What time is it? Noon?”

“Sean, I’m sorry,” she blurted. “Very sorry.”

He frowned, then opened the storm door. “For what, Rox?” He stepped onto the porch. “Slow down and talk to me.”

“Thinking I could do this.”

Sean scratched his head, then smoothed his hair down. He glanced at his watch. “Shit. It’s already five.” He shook his head. “I know I just woke up, but what are you talking about?”

“I thought I could protect my heart from you. You’ve been right all along. When we play, my heart is involved, too. I lied to myself because I thought if I didn’t fall for you, then when you dumped me it wouldn’t hurt. I was wrong.” The worlds rolled off her tongue at breakneck speed. She clutched her chest and fought back tears.

“I didn’t dump you.” Sean trailed his fingertips over her cheek, smoothing a tear off her face.

“And I fell hard for you.” She couldn’t breathe. “I love you, Sean. Tell me I’m not too late. Elias said you went to Push last night. I know you can find lots of others who are better for you than me.” The tears fell and her resolve collapsed. “If you’ve got someone else, tell me.”

“What are you saying, Roxy?” Sean wrapped an arm around her and rested his forehead on hers. “There’s no one else but you.”

“Sean, I realised I can live without you, but I don’t want to. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure out that I love you.” She clutched his arms. “So much.”

“You’ve never had a thing to worry about, Rox. You’re the only one I want. The only one I love.”