Homicide by Hamlet (Cozy Mystery) Book #3 (Chubby Chicks Club Cozy Mystery Series) (4 page)

At the end of the first day of camp, the six teams gathered in the theater so that each team could submit its theme.

The other five advisors and I sat on stage, along with the three judges. Gerald Gill had the highly coveted position of lead judge and director of the annual summer theater camp.

The auditorium filled with the din of conversation and laughter.

“Okay, everyone settle down please,” Gerald announced into the podium microphone. His salt and pepper hair looked bright against his tanned Caucasian skin. He wore a tweed blazer over a white polo shirt, and dark blue slacks. His ensemble made him look like an aged Ivy League fraternity boy.

Everyone hushed as Gerald continued, “Team one, with Professor Maple, is Rap Hamlet, or as they call it “Hip Hop Till You Drop,” and has been approved for the competition.”

Applause filled the stadium.

Priscilla fidgeted in her chair.

Gerald said, “Team two, advised by Ms. Woodham, is ballet Hamlet, dubbed Killer Swan Lake. It has been approved. Congratulations.”

Faint handclapping followed the announcement.

I felt a sense of amusement at pulling one over on Priscilla. She had stolen our bogus theme. Wilbert and Umika looked at me and shook their heads as if in disbelief.

“Team three, led by Mr. Smothers, is Zombie Hamlet. It has been approved, congratulations,” Gerald continued.

A student screamed out, “Walking Dead Hamlet.”

The audience broke out in hoots.

“Settle down now.” Gerald motioned to the crowd. “Team Four, with Miss Jones as advisor, you have been approved. Their theme is Fairy Tale Hamlet, or as they call it Once upon a Hamlet. Congratulations.”

The audience laughed.

“Congratulations to Mr. Helmsley’s team five who chose “Real Housewives of Denmark, Hamlet. You have been approved.” Gerald smiled.

“And I’m sorry to say, team six led by Dr. Isenberg, has been disqualified.” Gerald glanced down at the podium.

The low murmur of chatter came to a standstill. The crowd seemed to hold their breath.

Dr. Isenberg stood. “Wait a minute.” His round face flushed, as he shook his hand in the air. “Why?”

Gerald cleared his throat. “There have been objections to your subject matter.”

“What does that mean?” Dr. Isenberg threw up his arms.

“It means that your theme is not appropriate, nor politically correct.” Gerald said raking his fingers through his hair. “I’m really sorry.”

Dr. Isenberg pumped his fist. “Hold on there. You don’t understand. We weren’t trying to say that Hamlet was going to be Hitler. Hitler was the King who Hamlet wanted to kill. It was meant to be a mash up of Valkyrie and Hamlet.”

Gerald looked at Dr. Isenberg, then at the two other judges.

Dr. Isenberg continued, “Our theme is completely within the rules. You have to reconsider.”

Gerald spread his hands. “I understand how you feel. But the judges have deemed that a Hitler theme cannot be done in any way, shape or form.”

The sound of chatter enveloped the theater.

Dr. Isenberg animatedly flailed his arms. “We planned on using humor.”

Gerald raised a hand. “That doesn’t make it any less offensive.”

The professor’s neck reddened. “You still don’t understand, the theme was meant to be satirical, not impertinent.”

“I’m sorry, but you’ll have to choose another theme,” Gerald said.

Priscilla stood. “According to the rules, if a theme is not chosen and approved by five in the afternoon, the first day of camp, that team is removed. They cannot be a part of this competition.”

Dr. Isenberg’s voice rose. “Are you kidding me? Priscilla, back off.”

“Please hold your comments, Ms. Woodham,” Gerald said.

“Rules are rules,” Priscilla said to Dr. Isenberg. “And you just blew your entry into the competition.”

“You really are a piece of work,” Dr. Isenberg retorted. A long piece of his hair, used to disguise his baldness, slid onto his forehead. “I’m surprised you didn’t do the Wizard of Oz theme and play the wicked witch yourself.”

The audience members snickered and howled.

“How dare you.” Priscilla scowled at him.

Gerald tapped on the microphone for attention. “Everyone, calm down. And, Dr. Isenberg, I would also warn you to watch your tongue and your tone of voice.” Then he waved a hand to the judges. “Give us a minute to sort this out.”

The judges gathered off stage, and conversed for several minutes. Finally they returned and Gerald went to the podium.

He adjusted the microphone and spoke, “We are in agreement, and we have decided that within the framework of the rules, we can give a team that had, indeed, made the initial deadline, although the theme was disqualified, ten more minutes to come up with another. As long as this extension is approved by a majority of the team leaders. All of the team leaders in favor of allowing team six another try at their theme please raise your hand.” He looked out into the crowd and back to the team leaders.

Raising my hand, I glanced around and noticed the other four of five leaders were in agreement. All but one.

Priscilla sank into her chair, her arms folded over her breasts.

***

After everyone was dismissed, I said to my team, “I’m glad it all worked out.”

“No kidding,” Wilbert said. “Ms. Woodham really wasn’t happy about the judges giving Dr. Isenberg’s team a second chance.”

Umika shrugged. “What’s her problem? She seemed like she wanted them to get kicked out of the competition. It’s like she’s seeking revenge or something.”

I didn’t want to get into a character assassination about Priscilla. “I’m just glad all six teams are still in the competition and that all the themes are set.”

“And what was with her stealing our fake ballet theme?” Wilbert huffed. “I’m just glad that it wasn’t our actual theme. But still, how could she do that?”

I shook my head. “Let it go. We need to move on.”

“Fine. And no matter, I think that our team is the best,” Wilbert said.

“But team three, with Zombie Hamlet is pretty cool too,” Umika said. “I think they’ll be our biggest competitor.”

Wilbert adjusted his glasses on his long thin nose and said, “I’m not sure. Team four could be a threat with Fairy Tale Hamlet. And team five with the reality theme is a solid idea. And now that team six chose Hamlet in outer space, or as they call it Hamlet Wars—the King Strikes Back. That could be a long shot, but might be great.”

Umika nodded. “You’re right.”

I smiled and said, “I think everyone stepped up to the plate with great ideas. I also think this will be a fantastic and creative challenge for everyone. So get to work.”

The team busied themselves on the stage.

A minute later, Gerald walked into our rehearsal. He pulled me aside. “How are you doing?”

“Great.” My heart flipped. For the past few weeks, we’d been spending a lot of time together, although I had no illusion that we were anything more than friends. “By the way, good job with the taming of the shrew.”

He chuckled. “Priscilla? I think there’s a special place in heaven for people who have to work with her.”

“It’s going to be hard for me to hold my tongue. But for the sake of the kids, I will definitely try. There’s no guarantee I’ll succeed though. You may have to gag me to keep me quiet.”

He smiled. “That’s what I like about you. I don’t have to ever ask what you’re thinking because you always speak your mind.”

My heart warmed with the sweet comment. “By the way, did you know we were being spied on?”

“Oh?”

“The other night at dinner, apparently someone saw us. Priscilla found out. She’s trying to claim that you and I might be biased because of our friendship. Implying that we should both be disqualified.”

He said, “Then she doesn’t know us, does she?”

“Nope. And I’d rather she never gets to really know me.”

He placed a hand on my shoulder. “How about dinner at Conner’s Corner tonight, seven?”

Poor guy must be lonely too. I guess at our age, having a companion for dinner was better than eating alone. “I’ll meet you there. I still have about an hour more here.”

He started to leave, then stopped. “Make sure we make a scene tonight.”

“Why?”

Gerald winked. “If we’re going to be observed, let’s give them something to talk about.”

The second day of theater camp came and went. The set and costumes were nearly finished, lines were memorized, rap lyrics practiced and hip hop dance moves choreographed. Day three, the team began dress rehearsals.

After we finished lunch, while my team rehearsed, I chatted with Bezu while her helper cleaned up.

Bezu untied her apron. “This is so wonderful. I’m grinnin’ like a possum eatin’ a sweet tater.”

“I guess that means you’re pretty happy,” I said.

“You got that right. My catering business is doing great.”

“I bet you’re getting a lot of exposure this week by working here.”

“Yes, it’s been wonderful. Quite a few people here have asked for my business cards. One gentleman said he’s going to recommend my catering for their annual company conference. Another lady wants me to cater their daughter’s party after she graduates medical school this fall.”

“That’s great. Word of mouth is the best advertising.”

“It is. Although I can’t rely solely on that. I also had a professional website made. Plus an article about my business ran last week in the Savannah Morning News.”

“I read it. It was a terrific. Your business is really getting coverage,” I said. “Earlier, in the parking lot, I also noticed that you had a magnetic sign on your car.”

“I put that on yesterday. But now I’m wondering if my business is becoming overexposed.” Bezu pushed a flyaway hair from her eyes.

“Why do you think that?” I asked.

“I’m getting too busy to keep up. I know that’s a good thing when you’re in business for yourself. But all the same, I think I’m going to send some clients to another caterer.”

“How sweet of you,” I nodded. “What caterer were you thinking of?”

“Priscilla’s brother.”

For a moment I was speechless. “Why?”

“It’s good karma. Priscilla might be a little jagged around the edges, but her brother might be fine. Plus, anyone who has Priscilla as a sister needs all the help he can get.” Bezu smiled.

“Speaking of Priscilla, the past two days I’ve managed to evade her.”

Bezu grinned. “So have I.”

“Hello!” Priscilla squealed as she approached. Winona scurried at her heels.

Dang it. Mention her name and she appears.

“Good afternoon, Priscilla and Winona,” Bezu said. “It’s another perfect, sunny day in Savannah isn’t it?”

“Well Biddy, it’s also humid, hot and muggy.” Priscilla looked at Bezu.

Winona said to Priscilla, “Her name is Bezu.”

“That’s what I said.” Priscilla arched an eyebrow.

Winona rolled her eyes.

Then Priscilla turned to me and said, “Listen, I need to know if you have some spare sheets of plywood, my team needs two more.”

She could’ve asked any other team, so I felt she must have an ulterior motive. “Did the other teams use all of theirs?”

Priscilla’s jaw jutted. “Oh, I didn’t ask them.”

“Why not?” I asked.

She flicked her hand as if shooing a fly. “I didn’t want to bother them.”

My eyebrow rose. “Gee, I guess I’m just lucky that you like troubling me.”

Priscilla adjusted her purse strap on her shoulder. “So, when can we pick them up?”

Gerald approached and said hello to the group.

I was relieved that I was saved from answering her, and giving in to yet another demand thinly veiled as a request.

I said, “Gerald, I don’t know if you’ve met Priscilla’s assistant, Winona?”

As they shook hands, Dwight, Bezu’s ex, joined the group. Introductions were made. Immediately I looked at Bezu to see her reaction. It looked like she was completely unfazed by his presence.

“Hello, ladies and Gerald.” Dwight kissed Priscilla on the cheek.

“I’m sorry to disturb you all, I just wanted to talk to Dr. Maple for a moment,” Gerald said to the group.

He always called me Dr. Maple when we were around other people, but thankfully he used my first name when we were alone. After all, we were friends.

Since we were within earshot of Wilbert and Umika, I was glad he addressed me professionally. I don’t need to be the topic of rumors.

“And I need to steal my lovely bride-to-be away,” Dwight said. “We have some pressing business in town.”

“We were almost done here, anyway,” said Priscilla with a scowl. “Annie Mae was just going to tell me where and when I can pick up some supplies, then we can leave.”

Talk about putting me on the spot. I didn’t want her lingering around our set and poking her nose where it didn’t belong. To get her in and out of our area, I needed to set a strict time. “You can get them tonight around six. They are behind the theater stage, near our box of props.”

“Fine then,” said Priscilla. “Dwight and I have so much to be done for the ceremony.” She whipped her head toward her assistant. “Winona, you need to take notes. Are you ready?”

Her assistant nodded.

“I’m thinking some of the overhanging trees in Forsyth Park might get in the way of our camera crew during the ceremony,” Priscilla continued. “The branches might have to be cut.” She stuck her left hand out, gazing at the diamond on her ring finger.

I jumped into the conversation. “You know, you can’t just go around destroying public property.”

“Never mind that.” Priscilla glibly flipped her hand. “We have less than two days to go before our nuptials. I’m exhausted. Which reminds me, Winona, did you set up my spa day? Make sure I get all the beauty treatments available.”

Winona, who had been standing silent in Priscilla’s shadow said, “Yes ma’am, I’ll add it to the list.”

“Time is of the essence here. Hop to it.”

Winona scowled.

“And that sourpuss attitude is not getting you anywhere, so drop it,” Priscilla said snatching Dwight’s hand. “Be happy for me. I’ve found love. Maybe one day, if you’re lucky enough, you will, too.”

The girl blushed as she bit her lip.

Gerald leaned in and said to me, “Can we grab dinner later tonight?”

He smelled like clean linen, and I felt a slight tingle in my toes as he whispered in my ear. I mouthed, “Yes.”

“Dr. Maple, everyone, I have to leave now,” Gerald said. “It was nice seeing all of you.”

“Gerald seemed in a hurry to leave.” Priscilla glanced over her shoulder.

“I’m sure he had things to do,” I said. “Actually, I think we all need to wrap this up.”

“Before we depart I have to say something. Bitty, it seems that a lot of people like your cooking.” Her voice dripped with contempt as she looked at Bezu. “Although, had my brother provided the food this week, there would have been something to really rave about.”

Bezu sucked in a breath. “I’m curious, is he anything like you?”

“Let’s hope not,” I said under my breath to no one in particular.

“I wish he was more like me.” Priscilla thumbed her chest. “He’s, what do you call it, a softhearted soul? He’s like our daddy, he doesn’t have the determination and drive that I do. Now, don’t get me wrong, he’s a fantastic cook. But he could’ve had his own Food Network show by now if he’d just shown some ambition.” She stared at Bezu. “Why do you ask about him?”

“My business is expanding so quickly—to the point I might not be able to take on any more clients. I might have some business to send his way,” Bezu said.

Dwight tilted his head as he looked at Bezu.

Priscilla furrowed her brows, as if puzzling over what Bezu said. “I will tell him to contact you.”

Bezu responded, “Thank you.”

“Well isn’t that super generous of Bezu,” I said. “Wanting to share her success with another business owner, like your brother. That is true genteel southern manners.”

Bezu blushed.

I did it again, embarrassed my humble friend in my quest to brag about her.

“Hmm.” Priscilla paused. “On the other hand, perhaps it’s best if he doesn’t associate with you. After all, he has a stellar standing in the community, and he should guard against associating with anyone unlike him.”

Bezu’s face sank.

My blood boiled. Yet, I didn’t want to say anything to Priscilla that I’d regret later, so I held my tongue.

Dwight and Winona stood by, both looking away from Priscilla. Did they feel that looking too long at Priscilla was like looking at Medusa, and they’d be turned into stone?

Priscilla’s phone rang. “Dwight, we have to go.”

With that, Priscilla and Dwight left with Winona following close behind.

Under my breath I said, “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

Bezu shook her head. “My, oh my. As much as I want to continue to be civil to her, she certainly makes that rather difficult. At least seeing Dwight again wasn’t too bad. I’m relieved he didn’t actually speak to me. That made it much easier to bear. But Priscilla, she’s a different story. I bet she could start an argument in an empty house.”

I placed my hand on Bezu’s arm. “Don’t feel bad. For years I’ve tried to warm up to her. If anything, every time she opens her mouth, I dislike her more.”

“Well, let’s not let her dampen our good mood.” Bezu straightened her back.

“I won’t. By the way, on my way home I need to go over to the Sunshine Market and grab some things. Can I get you anything?” I asked.

“No thank you.” Bezu folded a tablecloth. “I’m just about ready to leave too. I have some errands to run.”

A moment later, we said our goodbyes. I waved as I made my way out of the building.

Ten minutes later I drove my car out of the large parking lot outside of the theater building. Ahead of me, I saw Bezu’s car speeding away. Where was she going so quickly?

I watched as her car careened toward the sidewalk where Priscilla and Dwight were walking. I honked my horn in an effort to get her attention, but to no avail.

Bezu’s car veered straight toward them, tires screeching as the car ran up onto the sidewalk.

Priscilla and Dwight jumped out of the way, falling to the ground as the car swerved back on the road and raced away.

My heart sprinted and I clutched the steering wheel. Holy smokes! What in the world was Bezu doing? It looked as though she’d been trying to mow them down.

I pulled over and speed dialed Bezu. I got her voice mail. “Bezu, are you okay? What’s going on? Please call me, I’m worried about you.” I hung up then and got out of my car to see if Priscilla and Dwight were okay.

I ran toward the sidewalk where Priscilla and Dwight were tangled up on the ground.

“Are you okay?” I offered my hand to help Priscilla up as Dwight slowly rose to his feet.

Priscilla’s face was red, her hair mussed up. She gave me her hand. She trembled as I pulled her to her feet.

Dwight slung an arm around Priscilla. “You okay, babe? You’re shivering.”

“No, I certainly am not! We nearly got killed!” Priscilla huffed. “Did you see that? Bezu has lost her mind. I’m calling the police and having her arrested for attempted murder.”

“I’ll do it.” Dwight pulled his cell phone from his pocket. “Damn. My screen is shattered. This is the worse thing ever. I need my phone.”

“Hey, what about me? She nearly crushed me.” Priscilla glared at him.

He kissed the top of her head. “Of course, you’re more important to me than a cell phone.”

She huffed. “I would hope so.”

“This phone was brand new.” He lifted the cell to eye level. “Shit.”

Studying them, I didn’t see any cuts or blood on either of them. “Are you both okay?”

“Luckily.” Dwight turned toward me. “Did you see what happened?”

Ignoring his question, I glanced away. “If you’re injured, I can call an ambulance for you.” I had seen what happened, but I wanted to talk to Bezu to see what was going on before I said anything. Surely she had a valid reason for her errant driving. Perhaps she’d passed out? Or the steering was faulty?

“I’m fine. Just rattled. What we need is the police.” Priscilla narrowed her eyes at me as she poked a finger at me. “Your friend is crazy.”

A slight breeze rustled the branches overhead. In the distance, a siren screamed. A jogger passed by, followed by a group of kids.

My chest was tight with worry for Bezu. “Let’s not jump to conclusions.”

“You’re kidding me, right? I know for sure that it was Bezu,” Dwight said.

I raised my eyebrows, as if uncertain.

He chortled. “C’mon. Her business name was on the outside of the car on one of those magnetic signs. Pretty hard to miss.”

“For all we know, you could be in cahoots with her,” Priscilla poked a finger at me. “How convenient that you just happen to be here at the same time, too.” Priscilla moved closer to Dwight then shot an evil look at me. “We can’t trust you, either. You just want to get rid of me, because you know that my team will be awarded first place this year and knock you off your winning streak.”

“Not only that, Bezu is jealous that I’m marrying someone else.” Dwight snorted. “She’s never gotten over me.”