Homecoming (11 page)

‘And all our tomorrows.' She forced a smile to hide a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

‘Mike's on nights again so we could go back to my flat tomorrow evening if your flatmate is here. Either way I'll see you in the morning when you pick me up. One last kiss.' He slipped his hand inside her gown and nightdress and squeezed her breast. ‘Sleep well, my love.'

‘Ems, you have to dress.' Robin paced the floor of the guest bedroom. Emily continued to lie face down on the bed, crying hysterically. ‘You can't stay here, not after I saw you with Thompson …'

‘And your bloody sister made sure you saw everything there was to see,' she screamed frantically.

He sat on a chair at the foot of the bed. ‘Sorry, Ems, but you can't expect me to ignore you sleeping with other boys.'

‘Can't you see Angie set the whole thing up?' she pleaded tearfully, finally lifting her head from the pillows.

‘I can understand why you would say that. But you can't expect me to believe you.'

‘I'm having your baby …' The rest of the sentence dissolved into unintelligible sobs.

‘Even if you are having a baby, after what I saw you doing with Thompson, you can't be sure that I'm the father.'

‘We're engaged.'

‘Were engaged, Ems.'

She turned a red, bloated face to his. ‘You won't marry me?'

‘Be reasonable, Ems, how can I after what you did tonight? But you can keep the ring, as long as you promise not to wear it,' he added cautiously. ‘It's worth a few bob so you could sell it. I know how hard up you are.'

‘I'll take you to court, make you pay maintenance …'

‘Don't be silly, Ems. All I'd have to do is get Angie, Cicely and Thompson to sign statements for you to look a right tart. No judge would order me to pay a penny.'

‘You're the only boy I've ever slept with.'

‘How can you say that when I just saw Thompson humping you?' he broke in crudely. Unable to stand her whining a moment longer, he went to the door. ‘Get dressed. I'll call you a taxi.'

‘I haven't any money.'

‘I'll pay for it.' He crossed the landing and knocked on Angie's door. Cicely opened it. ‘Is Angie all right?'

‘Fine,' Cicely bit back sarcastically. ‘She loves having a stupid brother who embarrasses her in front of all her friends by insisting she invite his tart to her party. I don't know how you could bring that girl into the same house as decent people.'

‘Cicely.' Angela appeared in the doorway, pale-faced, her mascara smudged around her eyes. ‘Go and watch Emily dress in case she does anything stupid.'

‘Like wreck the room or pack any of your mother's treasures? I'd be delighted.' Cicely gave Robin a withering look and flounced off.

Robin eyed his sister as Cicely left. ‘Did Ems really sleep around after we got engaged?'

‘That's a peculiar question for you to ask, considering you just caught her in bed with Thompson.'

‘She said you set her up.'

‘Oh yes, I poured drink down her throat.'

‘You did, to get her to talk to you. To find out if she was having my baby or not,' he reminded. ‘You even undressed her.'

‘In case she was sick over her clothes. I most certainly didn't strip Thompson or put him in bed with her. Ask anyone who wasn't closeted in the billiards room with you. Ems was with Thompson all night. She wouldn't leave him alone for a minute and you didn't help by hiding from her.'

‘I couldn't stand seeing everyone cut her.'

‘Not quite everyone, Robin,' she countered. ‘Anyway, I can't see why you're asking these questions. Earlier on you said you'd do anything to get out of this jam.'

‘I wouldn't have done this to her.'

‘She did it to herself. No one forced her to go to bed with Thompson and frankly I think it's worked out for the best. Ems may or may not be pregnant, but it doesn't matter one way or the other to you any more, because if she tries to stick you with a paternity suit, all you have to do is get Thompson to say that he knows her as well as you – in the biblical sense. She'll be painted the moral degenerate and you two will be off the hook.'

‘That's a bit hard, Angie,' he admonished, conveniently forgetting that she was only repeating more or less what he'd said to Emily himself a few minutes before.

‘If you're worried about her, you could always slip her some cash. If she is pregnant, she'll have to have the child adopted anyway, so it's not as if it will cost her anything.'

‘And if she makes a fuss? Goes to Pops or Mums?'

‘She wouldn't dare after Cicely and I saw her with Thompson.'

‘No, she wouldn't,' he mused thoughtfully.

‘You'd be a fool to see her again, Robin, alone or in public. After what she's done, you don't owe her anything.' She tossed her mascara stained handkerchief into the linen basket behind her door. ‘Do you want me to tell Pops and Mums what happened tonight?'

‘They'll be furious.'

‘They'll be delighted – and relieved. You'll come out of this smelling of roses. The devoted boyfriend who stuck by his fiancée through scandal for over a year, only to discover she was a trollop who'd been sleeping with his friends all along.'

‘And you didn't have anything to do with getting Thompson into her bed?'

‘Think for a minute, Robin, how could I?'

Robin considered what Angela had said. She was right; he would come out of the whole sordid mess smelling of roses, his reputation not only intact but enhanced. His parents would be pleased with him for once and there was nothing quite like a sad and broken love affair behind a man to attract the girls.

‘You have a taxi to call and I have guests to look after.'

He hesitated. ‘You have told me the truth?'

‘What's to tell? You saw Ems and Thompson the same as Cicely and me. Now can we please forget that you ever knew Emily Murton Davies?'

‘I wish I could.'

‘You'd better,' she advised acidly, ‘because once this gets out – and it will – there'll be a scandal that will relegate what her father did into obscurity.'

Chapter Six

Jack carried a tray of glasses into the kitchen, set it on the table, crept up behind Helen and dropped a kiss on to the back of her neck. ‘Thank you for my party.'

‘It seemed to go well.'

‘Everyone had a great time, thanks to you.'

‘Including you?' She took a couple of glasses and rinsed them in a bowl of cold water, before plunging them into a sink of hot, soapy water.

‘It was good to see everyone again, especially Brian.' He set his hands on her shoulders, as she brushed her eyes. ‘What's wrong, sweetheart?'

‘Nothing. Just something in my eye.' She avoided his searching gaze.

‘Come on, Helen, I know you.'

‘Not after two and half years, you don't.'

‘We were only separated by distance. It would take a lot more than that to drive a wedge between us.' He turned her round, forcing her to face him. ‘We promised one another before I went away that there'd be no secrets between us, remember?' Even as he said the words, he blanched. Some secrets were better kept, especially ones that would cause pain.

‘It's nothing,' she protested, but another tear fell from her eye.

‘It's Katie and her baby, isn't it? Judy's mother and Billy …'

A sob tore from her throat and she buried her face in his shoulder. Her tears, hot and wet, trickled through his sweater to his shirt. He held her tight, stroking her hair back from her face.

‘I told you when we lost our baby that one day there'd be the right child for us. And there will.'

‘An adopted child,' she murmured despondently.

‘He will still be ours.'

‘No, he won't. He won't have grown inside me. He won't have kept me up nights kicking against my ribs. I'll never know what it feels like to give birth, never have a labour pain, experience anything like the feeling Joy tried to describe tonight …'

‘Oh, sweetheart.' He had difficulty containing his own emotion.

‘Don't try to make me feel better, Jack. It's what you always do and you can't, not about this.'

‘The pain will never go away, but it will get more bearable when we have a child, I'm sure it will,' he insisted, needing to believe what he was telling her.

She heard the catch in his voice and realised he was hurting as much as her. ‘I'm sorry.'

‘I can't forget all the plans we made for our son either. Or the look on your face when you found out that you'd lost him and there wouldn't be any more babies. I know it's no consolation but no matter what, I'll never stop loving you.'

‘That's every consolation.' She forced back her tears. ‘I'm being selfish. It must be even worse for you, knowing you could have children if you wanted.'

‘The one thing I am sure of is that I wouldn't want children without you.' He hugged her tight. ‘I love you, sweetheart, you'll always be my girl.'

‘Jack, I'm sorry.'

‘There's nothing to be sorry about. We're in this together, for better for worse, that's what my mother always used to say about marriage.'

‘And you got the worse.'

‘I got the best.' He continued to hold her until her sobs lessened and she relaxed against him. ‘How about we put what's left of the food away, stack the dishes and go to bed.'

John woke with a start; instinctively reaching for Katie, his hand hit cold empty sheet. ‘Katie,' he called, fumbling for the lamp on his bedside cabinet. Pressing the switch, he looked around, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the light. The room was empty. He jumped out of bed as fast as his crippled leg would allow and lifted his dressing gown from the peg at the back of the door. Alarmed, he went out on to the landing. Water was running in the bathroom. He tried the door, only to find it locked.

‘Katie?'

‘I'm sorry, John, I didn't mean to wake you.'

‘Are you all right?'

‘Fine, I couldn't sleep, I thought a bath might relax me.'

He glanced at his watch. ‘At three o'clock in the morning?'

‘I said I'm sorry, darling. Go back to bed.'

‘You're sure you're all right.'

‘Absolutely fine.'

John returned to the bedroom and climbed back into bed; switching off the lamp, he stretched out, resting his head on his pillow. Katie was usually so sensible, it was lunacy to take a bath at this time of night …

He sat up suddenly, banging his head on the headboard. As he clambered out of bed again, his legs became entangled in the sheets and the dressing gown he'd thrown over the bedspread. He fell headlong.

‘John, I heard a bang.' Swathed in towels, Katie switched on the main light and looked anxiously at her husband lying on the floor. ‘Darling, have you hurt yourself?'

‘You're in labour.' He looked up at her accusingly.

‘Very early stages and everyone knows first babies take hours and sometimes days to arrive.'

‘I'll get the car.'

‘Take your time.' Concerned, she watched as he divested himself of his robe and the bedclothes.

He saw her watching him. ‘I didn't hurt myself.' He grabbed his suit jacket and searched frantically through the pockets.

‘What are you looking for?' she asked gently.

‘My keys.'

‘They're downstairs on the hall table where you always leave them.'

‘You're sure?' He went to the door.

‘I saw you put them there when we came in.'

‘I'll have the car around the front in five minutes. You will be all right on your own until then?'

‘I'll be perfectly fine. It's going to take me more than five minutes to dress, but,' she suppressed a smile, ‘you should put some clothes on. You might get arrested if you go out like that, even at this time in the morning.'

It wasn't until he looked down that he realised he was naked.

Helen gazed through the window at the sea in the moonlight. It stretched dark, shimmering, mysterious and extraordinarily beautiful to the horizon, and she wondered why she hadn't slept with the shutters open before Jack had suggested it. After only two nights she was already accustomed to looking out at the sea last thing at night and first thing in the morning. She reached out to Jack sleeping beside her.

‘Admiring the view?'

She turned and saw Jack's eyes were open.

‘I didn't realise you'd woken too.'

‘I haven't slept.' He reached for his cigarettes on the bedside cabinet. ‘I like lying here after you've gone to sleep, watching you.'

‘That must be pretty boring.'

‘No,' he answered seriously. ‘After two and half years of sleeping in a barracks full of snoring men, I don't think I'll ever get tired of looking at you, or wondering why, out of all the boys in Swansea, you picked me,' He lit his cigarette and sat up, keeping his arm around her.

‘That's easy, you were the only one brave enough to ask wild Helen Griffiths out.'

‘Do you want to see the doctor and arrange to adopt a baby as soon as we can?'

‘Do you?' She turned the question back on him.

‘I'd like us to have children. I'm just not sure when would be a good time for us to adopt, or how long it will take.'

‘From what the doctor told my father after I lost our baby, a private adoption wouldn't take more than a few months.'

He set an ashtray on to the floor next to the bed and flicked his ash into it. ‘So, to repeat the question, do you want to adopt a baby right away?'

‘I'd rather have our own.'

‘Sweetheart …'

‘But I've finally accepted that is never going to happen.'

‘Finally – you've seen other doctors?'

‘Yes, including a woman doctor who drew diagrams and explained exactly why it was impossible for me to conceive again, as opposed to all the men who said, “You'll never have another baby, Mrs Clay, because one of your fallopian tubes has been removed and unlike most women you never had two to begin with,” and expected me to understand what they meant.'

‘You never mentioned in any of your letters that you'd seen other doctors.'

Resting her head on his chest, she wrapped her arms around him. ‘I knew in my heart of hearts before I started that it was a lost cause, but a tiny bit of me couldn't help hoping that the doctors were wrong. That you'd come home and wham, a miracle would happen and I'd end up like Katie. But as I've been forced to accept that the only way we'll ever have a baby is through adoption, the answer to your question is, yes, I'd like to talk to the doctor and see what can be arranged.'

‘When?' He offered her his cigarette and she shook her head.

‘I'm not sure. You've only just got back …'

‘Two days,' he mused, ‘and already it feels like I've never been away, apart from the house.'

‘What's wrong with the house?' she questioned defensively.

‘It's too grand for me. Apart from the army I've lived out all my life in the basements of Carlton Terrace.'

‘I'm not digging a basement for you.'

‘I wouldn't want you to.'

She ran her fingers through the hairs on his chest. ‘So, you're just going to have get used to living here.'

‘I've another reason for asking when you'd like to adopt a baby. Brian offered me a job tonight, in a garage he's opening in Swansea.'

‘You know nothing about cars!'

‘You don't need to know much more than how to drive one in order to sell them. The problem is, Brian warned I wouldn't be earning much money for a couple of years. Three pounds a week basic plus commission on any cars I sell.'

‘We own this house, I earn a good wage …'

‘That's just the point,
you
own this house.'

‘That's stupid, Jack, the house is ours. I'll see a solicitor first thing on Monday about putting it in joint names.'

‘I'd rather you didn't,' he interrupted.

‘I will, if only to stop you saying anything as ridiculous as that ever again.'

‘To get back to what we were talking about, your good wage would stop once we adopt a baby.'

‘Not necessarily.'

‘You'd want to carry on working?'

‘You'd want to stop me?' she challenged.

‘You can't take a baby into the warehouse.'

‘Women do every day.'

‘Only to shop.'

‘I'm a buyer, Jack,' she said heavily, ‘and that is exactly what I do. I look at catalogues, go to fashion shows, meet reps and buy the clothes I think will sell in the warehouse. Most fashion shows are in the evening and I can look at catalogues just as well at home as in the warehouse.'

‘I'm not sure I like the idea of my wife working.'

‘And I'm sure I don't want to be a full-time housewife. I like my job, I'm good at it and I see no reason why I shouldn't carry on doing it, even if we have a family.'

He stubbed out his cigarette. ‘And if the baby has the measles and you couldn't go to a fashion show or meet a rep?'

‘Once we adopt, I'll do what my parents did, employ a Mrs Jones to look after him when I can't. I need help in the house anyway now you're home, and I'll need even more when we have a baby.'

‘My three pounds a week won't stretch to help in the house,' he said sourly.

‘Plus commission,' she reminded.

‘Which we couldn't rely on.'

‘I have savings.'

‘You'll soon have none if we use them for day-to-day living expenses.' He plumped up his pillow and slid back down in the bed.

‘So, you want to put off talking to the doctor?'

‘No. But if you want to adopt a baby right away, I'll turn down Brian's offer and look around for a job that pays more.'

‘If you are a super salesman in the making, you could be turning down a fortune.'

‘And I might never earn more than a pittance.'

She wriggled down contentedly beside him. ‘I'd still love you. When does Brian want you to start?'

‘He thinks he'll be ready to open for business in two weeks.'

‘Perfect, that's just when I told my father I'd be back in the warehouse. If you want my advice, give Brian's job a try. We've nothing to lose and you might find yourself doing something you really like.'

‘And the baby?'

She kissed his chest as he slipped his hand inside her nightdress. ‘Let's postpone making a decision for the next two weeks.'

‘Do you, Judith Ann Hunt take this man …' Judy looked from the vicar to the dress she was wearing. It was tight, so tight she couldn't breathe, and horror of horrors it was sheer nylon … everyone could see her corset, suspenders … someone started to cry … She had to get out of the church run … run … She fell swiftly through the air …

She woke and found herself staring at the ceiling. Thank God, it was only a dream – partly a dream, her nightdress had wound itself so tightly around her chest it hurt. She glanced at the bedside clock, the luminous hands pointed to four o'clock.

Throwing back the bedclothes she switched on the bedside lamp, left the bed and shook out her nightdress. She was starving; the only thing she'd eaten since lunchtime was the cheese straw Brian had handed her and lunch had been a ham roll she'd bought in Eynon's. It was Brian's fault. He had followed her into Helen's dining room and annoyed her so much she had forgotten about food. Stupid, annoying man!

Slipping on her robe, she went into the kitchen. She would make herself tea and toast. She'd slice the bread thickly and when it was golden brown, she'd saturate it with butter that would sink into every last crumb. Switching on the light in the galley, she cut two slices and popped them into the electric toaster Lily and Martin had given her and Sam as an engagement present. She set the kettle on the hob to boil and went to the bathroom. The door was locked on the inside and then she heard it, just as she had in her dream – the sound of someone crying.