Home is Where the Heart Is (Home #1) (32 page)

“What?” she whispered.

He tilted her head so they were staring into each other’s eyes. “I love you.”

Three words. That’s all it took. Three little words to shatter everything.
Panic gripped her chest in a vice grip as she struggled to find the words. They just shared the most amazing moment together, after the most amazing birthday she’d had, so she should be able to say three stupid words back to him.

No one was more undeserving of Jace than she was.

“I love you, Angel,” he repeated and stroked her cheek with his thumb.

Isabelle stared back at him, eyes wide and heart pounding.

“Angel? Are you OK?” Jace asked softly.

Isabelle gave a slight nod, still too stunned for words.

“Have I left you speechless?” he teased, but his eyes were worried.

With a deep breath she turned her head and kissed his palm softly.

“I’m sorry,” she began. “I have so many feelings for you and most of them are too deep to even describe but…”

She broke off as the pounding of her heart seemed to get louder.

“But I’m so messed up Jace. I can’t give those words back to you even though I wish I could. You mean so much to me and I don’t want to lose you even though I probably deserve to.”

Placing a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth, Jace pulled her back into his arms and held her tightly.

“It’s OK, Angel. I’m not asking you for the words tonight, I’m just asking you for a chance to see where this will go. Can you give me that?”

“OK,” she whispered into the silence.

Jace sighed deeply in contentment, his whole body relaxed beneath hers.

Isabelle lay there feeling sick to her stomach. She wanted so badly to be a normal teenage girl and give Jace her heart, but there was just so much poison from the past still festering inside her. She wasn’t lying when she agreed to give them a chance, but she had never been more uncertain or terrified in her life.

“Do you want to head back down?” he murmured into her hair. “We’ve been up here a while and Maia’s brought some ingredients to make S’mores.”

“I’m actually kinda tired, I think I just want to go home - if that’s OK?”

“Anything you want, Angel. Head on down and I’ll take you home once I’ve packed all of this up.”

She let him pull her to her feet and then she walked back to the edge of the cliff to begin the descent back down.

“Isabelle?” Jace called when she was a couple steps down.

“Yeah?”

“I meant what I said before and I’ll wait however long it takes until you’re ready. I love you and that means something to me -
you
mean something to me. So, if you feel overwhelmed or something; you can talk to me about it.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat and gave him a bright smile.

The walk back down was much quicker than the torturous trek up, but that could have a lot to do with the uneasiness she felt inside and the constant insecure thoughts that were screaming at her and causing distraction.

And it was because of her distraction that she didn’t watch where she was going, even after she reached the sand and crashed straight into a warm chest.

“Whoa there, where’s the fire?”

Isabelle looked up into Tyler’s leering face, cringing under the feel of his rough hands on her arms.

“I don’t feel well,” she told him, breaking eye contact. “I’m just going to head home.”

The hands on her wrists tightened so she couldn’t pull away and her attention was forced to focus back on him.

“You look upset. I can’t keep my man card and let a pretty girl drive away upset when she might hurt herself. Come sit over here with me for a minute and catch your breath.”

She shook her head vehemently. “No, Tyler, I want to go home now.”

He moved even closer, wrapping his arms around her waist and yanking her flat against his chest.

“But I haven’t even given you a birthday kiss yet,” he replied, in what he probably thought was his seductive voice.

He wasted no time after that and his mouth plundered hers; hard, rough and crushing against her already swollen lips.

A whimper escaped Isabelle as she pressed her hands against his chest and tried to push. Tyler, being the idiot that he was, mistook her intentions for desire and moaned into her mouth, pushing closer so she could feel his hardness against her.

“God, you’re so hot,” he whispered against her neck, his hands pulling at her dress and urging her to the sand beneath them.

“Tyler, please,” she tried to sob, but her voice was barely a whisper.

“Never been the type for repeat visits, but you might be worth it,” he murmured into her ear, slurring a little.

His hot breath on her snapped something inside her and then the past and the present collided and Isabelle’s body completely froze. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t speak, she just lay there, something digging into her back, sand all around her and her eyes blankly staring up at the sky trying to find her own star to focus on.

It didn’t work. She was paralysed with fear but could still feel everything he was doing, and as his hands began to roam clumsily over her trembling body, her stomach turned.

Was this really happening again? Why couldn’t she move to make him stop? He was clearly too drunk to notice she was crying silently and frozen with fear and revulsion.

Time seemed to be slowing, or maybe it was moving too fast for Isabelle to keep track of now. She was fractured, stuck between now and the past, trapped in a body that was seemingly built to repeat the same mistakes, the difference being this time she couldn’t even fight to get free.

The only positive in this whole nightmare was that she couldn’t have her virginity stolen from her again, that was something that was hers to give and no one could ever tarnish that gift after tonight.

Tyler’s rotten breath fanned over her face as he laid above her, staring down into her eyes, his hands not roaming anymore.

Looking into his eyes and seeing the blankness there, her stomach began to turn.

“Whoa, are you OK? You look weird.”

Isabelle opened her mouth and instead of words; she vomited, her stomach heaving painfully as she frantically turned her head to the side so she wouldn’t choke on her own bile.

“What the fuck?” a distant voice yelled, and then the weight of Tyler was pulled off her so quickly the loss of his heavy body nearly winded her.

Turning onto her side completely, she threw up again and again as the sickening sound of skin against skin pounded into the night air. When her stomach had settled enough, Isabelle crawled to her knees and looked to the strange sounds, and her whole world stopped again.

Jace savagely punched Tyler, his face a mask of rage and disgust. The look in his eyes was almost mad, as he hit him again and again.
Oh no, no, no, no. He was going to kill Tyler and then go to prison all because of her.

“Jace – stop it!” she screamed.

He was so caught up in his rage that he couldn’t hear her and just continued to punch Tyler’s face, blood spurting out in streams. Terror gripped her tightly as the fury that twisted his face made him almost unrecognisable. But despite how scared she was of him in that moment, she couldn’t let him do this. Tyler was the ultimate douche, but he didn’t deserve to lose his life because of it.

Rushing over, she tried to pry Jace off him.

“Jace, please just stop it. You’re going to kill him!”

When she tried to grab his fist, Jace spun around and shoved her away from him. She flew across the sand and landed in a heap against the rocks, cutting open her palms and bruising her knees.

She cried out in pain and that single sound pulled Jace from his madness.

“Isabelle? Fuck! Isabelle!”

When he rushed over and tried to help her up she slapped his hands away from her.

“Don’t you touch me!”

“Angel,” he murmured softly. “I’m so sorry, are you OK?”
Forcing herself onto shaking legs, Isabelle turned to Jace with tears in her eyes.

“Stay away from me,” she whispered raggedly.

“Babe, I didn’t mean to. I just lost my mind when I saw him on you. Come here - let me make sure you’re OK.”

When he reached out to touch her, she flinched back so violently that she nearly fell to the floor again.

His jaw tightened but he didn’t make any move to touch her again.

“I won’t touch you I promise, but at least let me take you home.”

Isabelle shook her head, tears falling down her face freely. She couldn’t trust herself to speak and she couldn’t look at him. Her hands were stinging and her knees throbbing from the fall.

He’d pushed her. His rage was out of control and he’d pushed her. What was she supposed to do with something like that? How was she supposed to be with someone that unstable?

“Isabelle, you know I would never hurt you. Stop this and just let me take you home.”

She raised her gaze to meet his then and slowly lifted her bleeding palms like an accusation.

“You already did hurt me. It’s about time I took care of myself, so I’ll find my own way home. Don’t follow me, don’t call me…just leave me alone Jace.”

He looked as heart broken and shattered as she felt but he moved to let her pass him. And although she felt a niggling stab of guilt, she did not turn back around.
*

They say a good night’s sleep will do you wonders; which would explain why Isabelle felt like complete shit. Three days had passed since her birthday party and her fight with Jace and now that she’d had a little time to calm down, she was filled with remorse at her words and actions.

Her knees were bruised and her palms had been cut up enough that they needed to be treated so there wouldn’t be any infection, but she’d had worse and survived. She didn’t want to lose Jace from her life completely but there was an underlying panic that kept spreading with each passing day that she didn’t hear from him and his balcony remained empty and closed.

She probably would have let her damn pride get the better of her and not make the first move if she hadn’t come out to her balcony that morning and found the telescope Jace had given her for her birthday – set up perfectly with her star certificate framed and sitting beside it. When she’d cautiously approached, she’d found a note taped to the telescope.

Look forward, not back. You were right. I won’t bother you again. Happy Birthday.
His words cut some part deep inside of herself and the next thing she knew she was standing outside his front door, knocking.

On her third round of knocks Jace opened the door. He was dressed in cargo shorts, a stained white shirt with bare feet. His hair a tousled mess, skin pale and his normally gorgeous blue eyes were bloodshot and dilated.

He was still hot but he looked like a freaking mess and smelt like stale cigarettes and weed.
“Are you high?” Isabelle asked.

Jace’s unfocused eyes moved over her and for a moment his defence slipped and agony flooded his features, but then his bored expression was back and he looked straight through her.

“Matt!” he bellowed. “Are you coming or what?”

“Jace,” Isabelle said pleadingly. “Are you going to just ignore me?”

“I’m giving you what you want and staying away. We both know you’re not the only one fucked up and I’m sick of pretending to be someone I’m not.”

“This isn’t you,” she whispered.

He barked out a humourless laugh and then moved past her swiftly.
She stood there for a few moments in stunned silence. What the hell had happened to Jace? She had never seen him act so callously or apathetic before.

"What are you doing here?" Matt’s cold tone broke through the silence.

Isabelle turned around to face a furious Matt and resigned Maia.

"Hey..." Isabelle began uncertainly.

Maia offered a sad smile. "Hey, what's up?"

"I uh... I wanted to talk to Jace and maybe um..."

"Haven't you done enough?" Matt demanded.
 

She was never particularly close to Matt but still, his ire hurt.

"I didn't mean..."

Matt put his hand up to stop her speaking and then turned his back to focus his attention on Maia.

"I better go and find Jace and do some damage control before he drinks himself to death because SHE showed up."

"Jesus babe - enough with the drama," Maia said.
 

He ignored her exasperated comment and with a final glare at Isabelle, took off at a jog.

"Well, that went well," Isabelle stated.

Maia sat on her front step and gestured Isabelle to do the same.

"Sorry about that - it's the bro code and everything that's making him act like a bitch."

"I didn't come here to cause any trouble."

"I know you didn't. Listen, I get that you got hurt and it must have been terrifying watching Jace lose control like that so I don't blame you for Jace's spiral."