Home is Where the Heart Is (13 page)

Chapter Eight

Lindsey tossed and turned most of the night, and finally fell into a fitful sleep in the early hours of the morning. She awoke heavy-eyed and irritable, feeling that something was wrong, but not being able to place it. At last it all came flooding back to her—the memory of Sonia in Simon's arms the previous evening, and of her own decision to leave Balliam Point.

For the first time since she had been in England, Lindsey found herself wishing she was back on the ranch. She closed her eyes and thought of the sun-drenched grass, the cheerful face of the house boy, maize porridge for breakfast and, above all, Gavin and her father. She swallowed hard, feeling torn in two.

To top it all, just as Susan was getting out of the car at the school gates, she suddenly realised Lindsey had forgotten to give her the ingredients for her cookery lesson.

"I particularly wanted to make that cake for Aunty Sonia's birthday tea. You did it deliberately, didn't you—just to spite me? You can't just have forgotten. I think you're perfectly hateful."

Lindsey was tempted to go after her, but knew it would be of no use. It would be equally of no use to try pointing out that a fresh cream and fruit gateau had to be eaten immediately.

Tommy whistled. "Wow, she is mad isn't she, Lindy? Anyway, what would Aunty Sonia want Sue's silly old cake for? She doesn't eat it 'cos she's always on a diet."

Simon was in a particularly bad mood that day, and Lindsey resolved that when she had finished typing the manuscript she would give in her notice and return to Africa.

That evening, Rob rang. There was something odd about the tone of his voice.

"Lindsey, I don't want you to worry, but Gavin's sent a cable—I'm afraid
father's had a minor heart attack. He's in hospital in N'bo."

"Oh no!—Rob, it's
all my fault!"

"No, Lindsey, don't blame
yourself. You know how excited father gets over the slightest thing. He'll be all right—You know dad; he's got a constitution like an ox."

"I must go to him, Rob. I'll speak with Simon Kirkby straight away, and leave on the first available flight."

"Don't be daft, Lin. The old man would only get more excited at seeing you, and he'd play on the situation. It would be emotional blackmail."

"Rob, how
can you be so callous when father's ill! Anyway, I've made up my mind to it. I'm going to marry Gavin after all. It's the only sensible course open to me, in the circumstances."

"Look, Lin, if you don't want to marry Gavin then for goodness sake don't!
Father'll get used to the idea eventually, you'll see."

The door opened quietly and Simon stood there. Lindsey did not even notice him. "I know if I told father we were getting married he'd be as happy as a
sandboy. It's odd, but I suppose, growing up together, it's been the natural thing for us to marry…Everyone sort of took it for granted."

The door closed; this time with a perceptible click.

"Rob, I'll have to go. Mr. Kirkby's just come in—probably wondering what's happened to his coffee."

"Well, father's in good hands and there's nothing you can do at present, so I'd stay put if I were you—at least for the time being. I've already cabled and, if I can afford it, I'll phone in a day or two. Gavin will keep in touch."

Lindsey suddenly felt incredibly weary. "Oh, Rob, everything's gone wrong just lately."

"I say, Lindy, you're not crying, are you?" he asked in horror.

"I'm sorry, Rob. It's just that I'm tired, and worried about father and, I suppose, Gavin, if the truth's known…Oh, I wish life wasn't so complicated."

"Don't worry! Keep smiling."

Don't worry! It was easier said than done. Lindsey put down the receiver, her heart heavy. Tears pricked her eyelids at the thought of her father, such an active man, lying in hospital. How he would hate to be away from the ranch; confined to bed and ordered about.

A few minutes later, Simon re-entering the study discovered Lindsey still staring at the telephone, as if it were about to explode. He had had a trying day one way and another; endeavouring to finish the article so that Lindsey could type it, amidst constant 'phone calls; a small son who insisted upon showing him how he had assembled yet another balsa wood aircraft (at least the tenth he'd seen). To top it all, his daughter had interrupted his dinner with some garbled story about a cake Lindsey wouldn't allow her to make. And now, just when he wanted a bit of peace and quiet; he found his housekeeper glued to his telephone looking half demented. Something suddenly snapped inside him. "Miss Meredith, if you've quite finished with my study, perhaps you'll be good enough to remove yourself so that I can do some more work. You may or may not remember that the manuscript has to be at the publishers by next week and, if that blessed boyfriend of yours rings you up just once more, I'll not be responsible for the consequences. It's obviously he who's causing you to be so ridiculously
absent-minded. Perhaps you can explain to me about Susan's cake. No, on second thoughts, don't bother! I can see you're mesmerised again, but will you please try to cut down on the 'phone calls in future…”

He suddenly saw the stricken look on her face, and those lovely eyes seemed to be full of tears and yet, hadn't he just a moment ago, heard her discussing her marriage with her boyfriend? Why then did she look so upset, unless it was that she hated to be parted from
him.

He pushed her gently on to a chair. "Look, I'm going to give you an order, and that is to take a rest. Have an early night. I don't want my secretary getting ill with the manuscript so near to completion, and that's what you seem to be in danger of doing." He gently touched her cheek, and Lindsey felt his nearness, like an electric current burning her skin. Her pulse raced, and then the moment had passed.

"And now just leave me to work in peace, and keep Tommy and his aeroplanes, and Susan and her complaints, out of my way for a little while, will you?”

Unfeeling brute, Lindsey thought savagely, as she went into the breakfast room. How could I ever have imagined myself to be in love with
him. "But I am —I am!" she said aloud to the typewriter. "And I can do nothing about it except return to Kenya and marry Gavin, and try to forget all about this interlude. To pretend that Balliam Point and Simon Kirkby have never existed."

Suddenly the scalding tears fell. What a mess she had made of everything. Poor father; it was all her fault, no matter what Rob tried to say to the contrary. She dashed the tears away impatiently, and tried to concentrate on the typing, but the words swam before her eyes.

"Merry, what's the capital of Portugal? I can't find it anywhere."

"Lisbon," said Lindsey automatically. "It's time for your bath, Tommy."

"Oh no, it can't be, not yet. It's Friday, remember?" He gazed at her curiously. "Have you been crying, Lindy?"

Lindsey laughed shakily. "No, of course not—my eyes are watering that's all. I must have a bit of a cold." She blew her nose.

"Well, they're watering an awful lot, and you just look like you have, that's all."

"My father isn't very well, Tommy. He's in hospital in Nairobi, and, of course, I'm rather upset about him."

Tommy came and put his arms round her. "Poor old Lindy, and Africa's such a long way away…" A sudden thought struck him. "Lindy, you're not thinking of going home are you? You won't leave us?"

"No, Tommy, of course not," she lied. "Now go and have your bath."

Tommy heaved a sigh of relief. "That's all right then, because we do need you very much."

When Tommy had left, Lindsey rested her head on her hands; seeing visions of her father lying in a hospital bed worrying about the ranch and
herself. And then she saw Simon kissing Sonia and looking at her adoringly. And then there was Tommy's sombre little face looking up at her and saying, "You won't leave us, because we do need you very much." Dear God why was life so very complicated? Why did she have to fall in love with the wrong man, she asked herself for the hundredth time. She would have to tell Simon about Africa soon…but not tonight.

She decided to take Simon's advice and have an early night. She wouldn't do any more typing for now. She put the machine away and took the typing upstairs to put it with the rest of the manuscript…shooing Tommy into the bathroom en route.

Susan jumped to her feet, as Lindsey came into the sitting room.

"Merry, I'm awfully thirsty, can I get a drink?"

"Of course you can. I'll be down in a minute, if you'd like to put the kettle on." Susan hurried out of the room. Lindsey went to the cupboard where she kept the typing, and took down the box. It was full of minute shreds of paper—Someone had torn up the typescript. Lindsey gave a strangled cry and, suddenly everything went black…

When Lindsey came to, it was to find Simon bending anxiously over her.

"Where am I—What happened?"

"It's all right, Lindsey. You fainted that's all—
Probably lack of food Susan's making some tea."

"I never faint—I can't have done." And then she remembered.

"The manuscript—it's been torn up…I tried so hard to get it finished. You'll be so angry. Everyone's angry with me, my father—I've made him ill Gavin, Susan, and you . . . Most of all you . . ." The tears coursed down her cheeks.

"Lindsey, I am not angry with you. Do I have to prove it to you silly child!" He bent down, and then, suddenly, he was kissing her and her arms slid round his neck, as she floated away on a cloud of ecstasy. "There, does that prove it…And the typing's safe, Lindsey, quite safe —It was Susan's stupid sense of humour. I suppose she thought she'd pay you back for not being able to make that cake. Look, this paper she's torn up is just from the wastepaper basket, the manuscript is here, quite safe in an identical box…No wonder you're so tired; you've nearly finished the typing and there's another ten days to go yet before the deadline."

Susan returned with the tea and some sandwiches, looking very crestfallen. She was surprised to see Lindsey looking far from angry. Her eyes were shining, and she was smiling.

"Merry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to give you a shock, truly I didn't."

"Okay, Sue, you've proved your point, said Simon. “Have your tea and then go to bed."

Susan obeyed him, gulping it down and saying very little. When she had gone, Simon said. "Well, the tea seems to have restored some of our sanity I think."

"Do you often suffer from that kind of moonlight insanity?" Lindsey asked a little shakily.

He laughed. "Now and then, but there's nothing like tea to bring me to my senses. I apologise for my daughter giving you such a shock, Lindsey. That's the sort of thing Lucy would have done to get her own back, only if it had been Lucy, she really would have torn it up and burnt it to boot, quite likely…If you're sure you're all right now, I'll say good night, my dear."

"Yes, I'm all right," breathed Lindsey.
"Quite all right."

Lindsey thought she would never sleep. He must care a little. That kiss was not like Andrew's or even Gavin's. It awakened every fibre in her body, and left her feeling light-headed and rather as if she had just been on the big dipper. Not
only that, but it also left her feeling even more mixed up than before.

When Lindsey got up the next morning, it was to discover that Simon had already taken Susan out to buy Sonia a birthday present. Lindsey's head felt tender, and on examination, she discovered a large bruise where she had knocked it. Mrs. Parker insisted on cooking lunch, and made Lindsey stay in the sitting room by the fire. She was halfway through a game of Ludo with Tommy, when Polly informed her that Rob was on the 'phone.

"Lin, there's been another cable—not from Gavin this time—Listen to this . . . `Tell L not to worry, I'm here now. Mary.'

"Mary!" Lindsey exclaimed in disbelief. "What's Mary doing in Kenya?"

"Search me, but that should stop you worrying…Perhaps she's finished her work and has decided to have a holiday before returning to England. Anyway isn't it good news?"

"Oh, Yes! You can say that again. I am relieved."

Bemused, Lindsey returned to Tommy. They had just reached an exciting part in their game of
Ludo when Polly reappeared with a tray of coffee and, in her wake, Simon and Susan.

"I've bought a lovely brooch for Aunty Sonia—much better than the cake," announced Susan.

Simon had a strange expression on his face. "I've just been talking to a mutual acquaintance of ours in Cambrook , Lindsey—Colin Marks…I was interested to learn that you're only over here on a working holiday from Kenya!"

Lindsey sprang to her feet in confusion, catching the
Ludo board with her skirt and scattering the counters all over the carpet.

"Sue always does that when she's losing, too," remarked Tommy, and Susan gave him a withering look.

"Sorry, Tommy." Lindsey rescued a red counter from the coal scuttle. "It's a long story, and I really am going to find it rather difficult to explain so perhaps we ought to have coffee first…I'm sorry if I've deceived you." She busied herself pouring the coffee, relieved that the pretence was over at last. It had been so silly really to keep it up.