Home Fires (34 page)

“When someone dies, it’s the saddest thing of all.” Rose leaned against him and blew out a sigh. “It’s the end of everything. There’s no chance to go forward, no more chance for all the things you meant to do or say. All you have left are memories.”

With the two funerals over, the world had lost some of its crazy tilt. Eventually things would have to return to normal. Life would go on. But it would never be the same.

“And poor Tommy.” She shook her head mournfully. “He didn’t have much of a life. He deserved so much more than what he got.”

“It does seem like some people never get a break.”

“He was the nicest one of the bunch out of the whole Gilbert clan.” She turned to Mike. “Why did he do it? What made Tommy set those fires?”

“People do things all the time without thinking about the consequences. Look at the Judge. Smart as he was, he got in way over his head with the gambling.”

“Setting fires is different than betting.”

“Tommy had his own reasons for starting fires. With some people, it’s a sickness. He started out small and the fires grew.”

She stared at Mike. “There’s no doubt about it, right? You’re absolutely sure that Tommy was the arsonist?”

He nodded quietly. “We’ve been able to place him at every fire scene. Plus, every one of those fires started the same way. Tommy mowed lawns for a living. He always had his hands on a ready source of fuel.”

Rose quieted as she thought of Tommy’s old pickup. The bed had been jammed with gardening tools, weedwackers, lawnmowers… and cans of gasoline.

“We got called out to a small fire last spring in his brother Joey’s shed,” Mike said. “There was no power in that shed, no reason for a fire to start. Something was used to start the blaze. The burn pattern told us it was no accident.”

What made someone start a fire? Mike had told her long ago. Profit, revenge, or a thrill. Tommy had started with the thrill of watching the flames grow, moved on to revenge by setting Charles’s car ablaze, and ended by setting the Judge’s offices ablaze to help him out with insurance money.

“Remember what I told you about what Tommy said that night? That he had set the fire because of something my mother said? I think I figured out where he came up with that idea.”

Mike’s arm around her tightened.

“The three of us—my mom, Lil, and I—were talking about the Judge and his money problems one afternoon. Tommy was outside in the yard. He must have overheard us while weeding the flower beds.”

His eyes filled with quiet regret. “He was a nice kid. I always liked him. That’s one of the reasons I let him hang around the fire station. I wanted to keep an eye on him. And who knows? Maybe some of this is my fault.” He dipped his head low, his gaze centered across the dark water. “Part of me keeps thinking maybe I should have moved sooner with the evidence I had. But I kept hoping he wasn’t the one. I kept hoping something would happen that would prove me wrong—”

“Don’t do that to yourself.” She pulled away and stared at him with frank appraisal. “You did what you had to do, and you never backed down. Don’t start doubting yourself now.”

Mike hesitated, then finally nodded.

“Did you hear the news about Joey Gilbert?” she said after a moment. “He’s threatening to sue the Judge’s estate.”

“For what?” His eyes widened.

“Wrongful death. He’s maintaining it was the Judge’s responsibility to make sure the stairs were in proper working order.”

“How the hell does he figure that makes any sense? His own brother Tommy was the one who started the fire that burned the stairs and caused them to collapse.”

“Obviously you don’t know Joey Gilbert,” Rose said with a scowl. “I’ll bet he’s already found some plaintiff’s attorney ready to represent him for a third of whatever they can get from the Judge’s Estate. If that’s the case, I intend to fight him every step of the way. The Judge would want me to do that. And so would Tommy,” she added.

Mike nodded. “Yes, I think they would.”

Thunder growled in the distance. Slow-moving clouds hung low to the shore.

“You were right,” Rose said. “It is going to rain.”

His eyes were thoughtful as he gazed toward the approaching storm. “It’s beautiful here.”

“My dad would have loved it. He always wanted a place on the lake.”

He shot her a fast smile. “Know what I like most about this place? It’s quiet. The city noises are gone.”

There was no need for further explanation. She knew exactly what Mike meant. No car horns, no fire sirens, no people shouting. Only the soft splash of a wave lapping upon the shore, a growl of distant thunder, and from the nearby reeds, a frog croaking love songs to an absent mate.

So quiet. So peaceful.

And regrettably, not for her.

“I had a phone call from my law firm today,” she said. “One of the partners in my practice session was in a car accident last night. He survived, but they don’t expect him back for weeks. So, that’s it for me. I’m going back.”

Mike sucked in a hard breath and gripped her hand. “When do you leave?”

She hesitated. “Tomorrow.”

“Are you serious?” His face looked like he had just been hit by a truck himself. “Are you coming back?”

Rose bit her lip hard. “I don’t know. The firm needs me right now… no matter what I might decide to do in the future.”

“What about your mom? She needs you, too.”

“She’ll be fine. She’s getting stronger every day. And Lil has volunteered to stay at the house until Mom is back on her feet. I think it’s a good idea. Those two need each other.” She swallowed hard and clenched her hands together. “Probably more than ever, now that the Judge is gone.”

“I can’t believe that you’re really leaving.” Mike’s voice was filled with quiet disappointment. His gaze focused out over the water. The lake glimmered like a mirror, flat and smooth.

“I know it’s hard to understand.” She scanned the sheltering shoreline, the small stretch of beach, Mike’s little cabin. “This probably seems like paradise to you. Like a little piece of heaven.”

“It
is
heaven, Rosie. Why would you want to leave?”

Why
did
she want to leave? Once upon a time, her reasoning seemed to make sense. But not anymore. Everything now seemed jumbled and confused. She needed space and time to put it all back together again.

“Think of the good you could do, right here at home. You could make a difference in people’s lives.”

“I don’t have to stay home to make a difference. Grand Rapids is a nice city. And what about Washington, D.C.? I could make a difference there.” She offered him a tiny smile. She’d have to come clean with Andy, but anything was possible with Mike at her side. Maybe it could work. “Have you ever been to Washington? It’s a wonderful city. You could be a fireman anywhere.”

He stared at her a long moment. “You could practice law anywhere,” he finally replied.

Rose’s spirits sank. His eyes offered little hope.

“Everybody goes to Washington expecting they’re going to change things,” he said. “Maybe James Bay isn’t as grand or financially rewarding as someplace else might be, but people here want you home. They miss you, Rosie. They love you. And love always counts for something.”

“But it’s not what I planned.”

He grazed one finger against her cheek. “Sometimes life doesn’t turn out the way we plan.”

A shiver ran through her as he lifted her chin, bringing her gaze to meet his own. His head bent to meet hers and their lips touched, melting together, warm, moist, breathless. Rose closed her eyes and for one wild moment lost herself in the sweet insanity of his mouth hard on her own. How could she give him up? Dear God, what was she supposed to do? She loved this man.

“I love you, Rosie.” His arms tightened around her. “I love you and I don’t want to let you go. But I know I don’t have any right to ask you to stay.”

“If only things were different. Oh, Mike, I wish…” She broke off, struggling to hold back the tears. She hadn’t cried yet, not in the past three days, and she wouldn’t start now. If she gave in, all would be lost.

But how could she bear to leave him behind? How could she get through this and say good-bye?

“Did I tell you about the chief? He’s retiring and leaving town.”

“He’s leaving?” Rose blinked hard and pulled back, searching Mike’s face. “Why?”

“His wife was accepted into an experimental cancer treatment program out west. They’re going out there so she can get the help she needs.”

And Mike would become the new fire chief. It was inevitable. She struggled to be happy for him. He deserved every bit of success that came his way. If he stayed in James Bay, this was the only chance he would ever get to make an upward career move. There would never be another opportunity like this for him in this little town, and they both knew it.

If he followed her, things would be different. Mike was smart and deserving. No doubt he would quickly climb the ranks wherever they went—Grand Rapids or Washington D.C. But in a big city, he would end his career behind a desk, lost in a world of budgets and political firestorms, his fire gear stashed, forgotten in a closet. A job like that would drive some men mad. Especially a man like Mike. He’d always been clear about what he wanted.

He was a fireman. He wanted to work the fire, battle the blaze. If he stayed in James Bay, his fire coat and boots would remain at the ready. Every man—including the chief—responded to a fire call. No matter how many fire reports needed his attention, Mike would stand prepared to put his skills and courage, his very life, on the line when his monitor went off.

How could she ask him to give up his heart’s desire, just for her?

She couldn’t. And she wouldn’t, no matter how she felt. It wouldn’t be fair to Mike, regardless what his answer might be.

“They’ve asked me to step in as acting chief while the city council searches for his replacement.”

She bristled at the words. What replacement? How could the city fathers have any doubt about who was the right man for the job? “But you’re already Assistant Fire Chief. Naturally you’re the perfect candidate. If they have any sense, they’ll pick you.”

“They can’t pick me if I’m not here.”

Her eyebrows knit together. “I don’t understand.”

His face was somber. “I’m not staying in James Bay.”

“You’re thinking about leaving? How can you do that? You love it here.”

Mike gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. “I love something else a whole lot more.”

Rose swallowed down a sudden lump in her throat. She couldn’t let him do it. It was too much of a sacrifice and he would end up sorry.

“I’ll go wherever I have to go, Rosie. All I care about is being with you and making you happy. I can fight fires anywhere.”

“And I could practice law anywhere,” she softly replied.

“I told you once before. I already know what I want. I want you, Rosie. And I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure I’ve got you right beside me.”

“No, Mike, I can’t let you do it.” She ducked her head, trying to hide the sudden tears welling up behind her eyes. He deserved so much more than she could ever give him. No matter how much they might wish things were different, she couldn’t change herself. She was still the person she’d always been. She wasn’t the woman for Mike.

“Lord, you sure are stubborn.” He blew out a hard sigh and shot her a frustrated glance. “Why not give a guy a chance?”

“It won’t work. You have no idea what you’d be giving up.” Rose swiped away the hot tears flowing down her cheeks. The last thing she wanted was for him to see her like this, weepy and emotional. She struggled to keep things in perspective. They needed to be practical and sensible.

“A town is only a town, Rosie. It won’t be so easy to find another woman like you.”

Her tears fell faster. “You don’t understand.”

“Try me,” he suggested. His hand ran up and down her back in long gentle strokes. “Come on, Rosie, spill it. What’s really bothering you?”

She stared out across the water, listening to the sound of the waves crashing on shore in the wake of the coming storm. The truth would destroy them, but she had to tell him, if only for his sake. Finally she found the courage to meet his gaze.

“Mike, you want something I can’t give you. I am not the soft maternal type, and I never will be. Don’t you understand? I will never be like Katie.” Rose halted as she saw his face harden. Had she gone too far? But he had to hear it all. She swallowed hard and, taking a deep breath, forced herself to continue. “I know how much you loved her. Eventually you’ll end up comparing us, and you’ll hate me for it. You’ll hate me because I’m not her, and you’ll hate me for taking you away from all… all this.” She waved her hands in big circles of frustration.

“That’s what’s been bothering you?” he said with an incredulous stare.

She bowed her head and nodded.

Mike grabbed her shoulders. “You listen to me, Rose Gallagher, and you listen good. For a long time after Katie died, I sat around feeling sorry for myself. Some days, I even felt like life wasn’t worth living any more. It scared me, feeling like that, thinking that I might actually give up on myself. But I didn’t care what I did. I even took a sabbatical from the fire department. Then one day Terry made me come up north with him for a little fishing trip and we did some serious talking.”

His face sobered. “I owe everything to Terry. He’s the one who got me out and moving again. We were up here on that fishing trip when I found out about a job opening up with the fire department. Terry was the one who forced me to apply. When I got the job, I moved up north. At first, I didn’t care. I put in my hours, came home, and chilled. The days drifted by, one into another. Then one morning, I realized I was feeling better, that there might be some hope for me after all, that someday I would wake up and life would be good again. And then, finally, one day it was, and that’s how I knew life isn’t done with me yet. I have proof.”

“You do?” She couldn’t tear her gaze away. The need to see the truth was too strong to resist.

“All the proof I need.” He reached out and drew her close, one finger gently caressing her cheek. “You’re right here in my arms.”