Holy Water (22 page)

Henry takes a gulp of the cold orange
smoothie
. As he swallows, he wonders if it is possible to detect orangutan testosterone in pureed mango.

The prince points back at the models.
“
So what do you think, Henry Tuhoe?
”

Henry licks his lips and nods.
“
I think it is grand and ambitious.
”

“
For charter corporate partners, like your company, for instance, the Shangri-La or Free Zone will offer tax-exempt status and other perks.
”

Henry can think of no reason why a bottled water company would want a storefront presence in the Shangri-La Zone, but says,
“
I would think that a lot of companies would be interested in such a deal. I admit, I
’
m not an expert on Galado—in fact, until recently I
’
d read very little about it—but from what I understand it has, if anything, resisted corporate involvement, outside involvement, industrial development, and even tourism. Is this an issue?
”

The prince takes the last sip of his protein shake and hands the glass to the servant. He shrugs his shoulders and torques his neck left, then right. Then his lips twist to the side in such an exaggerated fashion—pained? disgusted?—that Henry is certain he has gone too far. Only after the prince takes three deep breaths does Henry feel that things might be all right between him and the prince after all.
“
I appreciate the candor,
”
the prince says.
“
Most of my advisers are so terrified of me, and rightfully so, they go to extremes to placate, to avoid conflict.
”

“
I was just curious. Not seeking conflict.
”

“
Obviously, Henry Tuhoe, things are changing in my little country. We can continue as we have for centuries, shut off from the world, economically challenged but spiritually pure, while our Chinese and Indian neighbors to the north and south, the two biggest rising powers in the world, thrive. Or we can find a way to engage with the world while remaining spiritually one with the universe. We can welcome the Internet, the global brands that bring jobs and prosperity. We can begin to tap into its rich natural resources and embrace industry. Did you know that right now if a citizen of Gal-ado wants to cut down a tree—a single tree—he must first get permission from the king, or, under the current circumstances, me. And if I want to cut down a tree, I must gain permission from two thirds of Parliament. Preposterous. Do you know that until five years ago there was no television in this country? Granted, only state-run programming is permitted now, thanks to me, and it was quite a struggle, but it
’
s a start.
”

“
Do the people want it?
”
Henry asks.
“
TV? Internet? The freedom to wield their own chain saws?
”

The prince waves him off.
“
They don
’
t know what they want, but it is coming. I have been laying the groundwork for years, making alliances in Parliament. Getting my father to champion my legislation as his. It is forbidden to talk about it, but already we have steel mills burning night and day in the valleys to the north. Coal mining to the north and south. Timber harvesting in the hills. And it has made a difference. Because of my changes, our GNP per person, which Parliament refuses to acknowledge in lieu of the preposterous and unmeasurable spiritual indicator gross national karma,
has risen five percent in the last year, but it is still the second lowest on earth.

“
They want more monasteries,
”
the prince continues, and then points at another building on the model, a towering modern edifice of spiraling glass and steel.
“
I want more of this.
”

“
Which is?
”

“
The Royal Galadonian Academy of Ideas. Designed by the people who worked with people who did the Bird
’
s Nest Stadium in Beijing. Some years off, but the Academy of Ideas itself already exists within the walls of this palace, at the very site in the country that is your place of work. One day I will give you a virtual tour.
”

“
That would be nice,
”
Henry says, still looking at the models, surprised that, under the circumstances, he is so interested in the future of a place that three weeks ago he didn
’
t know existed.
“
What about tourism? I know it
’
s strictly limited, but I would think as a revenue source ...
”

“
Tourism will come and it will absolutely become a source of profit. But for now, until I get the next steps of our plan in place, limiting tourism and the unwanted attention of undesirables is one of the old rules that I actually agree with.
”

Henry raises his chin in the direction of the scale models.
“
So this is the next step?
”

“
Exactly. We first needed industry before opening the doors to commerce and development. Right now we are in discussions with dozens of leaders from the top brands and multinationals in the world. For the most part I have decided to bypass governments and political diplomacy in favor of corporate diplomacy. When you think of it, the modern CEO of a multinational conglomerate is more powerful than any ambassador, more of a head of state than any president or other despot.
”

“
Is there a model in the free world that you
’
re patterning yourself after?
”

The prince shakes his head dismissively.
“
We want to be the next Bangalore. The next Beijing. The next Bollywood. Silicon Valley. Technology
and
industry
and
the arts. The Academy of Ideas. A state-of-the-art sports stadium.
”

“
More democracy than monarchy, then.
”

The prince aggressively shakes his head.
“
Oh, no. The people don
’
t want democracy. The monarchy will still rule.
Brandocracy
, if anything. Plus, of course, we need to strengthen our army. Our nuclear arsenal.
”

“
Do you have one?
”

“
Technically, no.
”

“
So you aspire be a nonviolent Buddhist
brandocracy
with nuclear capability.
”

The prince considers this and smiles.
“
Perhaps.
”

Henry begins to laugh, but, realizing that the prince wasn
’
t going for a laugh, he transitions to a clearing of the throat.
“
Well, I don
’
t know what to say, other than, you know, good luck with all this, Your Highness.
”

“
Not so fast, Henry Tuhoe. You haven
’
t heard my proposal.
”

“
I think you
’
re overestimating my importance in the grand scheme of things here.
”

“
Oh, I
’
m not overestimating a thing. I know who you are, and just from speaking with you for this short time, I can see that you are my kind of person. I make it my business to meet with almost every new dignitary, corporate or political, who enters our kingdom, and ninety-nine percent of them I dismiss as unenlightened, incapable of seeing the way things can be. But you and I. . . you got to admit, we totally hit it off.
”

“
Sure, but—
”

The prince puts his forefinger to his lips.
“
What is your principal responsibility here on behalf of Happy Mountain Springs bottled water?
”

“
To set up a back-office customer service call-center operation.
”

“
Exactly. And this will no doubt include the training of Galadonians.
”

“
Yes.
”

“
Galadonians who speak English.
”

“
Yes.
”

“
And when these English-speaking Galadonians are being trained, what colloquialisms and accents will you be looking for, what country
’
s ways will you encourage?
”

Henry stares at the prince. He knows the answer but isn
’
t sure
where it
’
s going.
“
Okay, I guess that would be American. The more convincingly American they can sound, the better.
”

The prince smacks his hands together so forcefully it startles Henry.
“
Bingo, Yo-Town!
”

“
I don
’
t follow.
”

“
Despite your economy, your widening cultural void, your anti-intellectualism, your reality-TV approach to electing leaders, your fast-food addictions and thickening midsections—despite all of this, what the world wants most is to act like America. And at this moment in time I think that there is no greater job, no calling that better captures the era, than what you are doing here. Teaching the art of being American.
”

“
Okay.
”

The prince returns to the models, looks at them while speaking with Henry.
“
What you are doing for your water company is teaching this on a lesser scale. Important, yes, but what I would like is to be able to hold your model up as an example to other companies that are considering doing business here, to show them that our people are capable of acting like and doing business with the best.
”

Henry nods.
“
That
’
s fine, but I haven
’
t even started yet. I need to make my own little thing work before using it as some kind o
f
—
“

The prince waves him off.
“
I have no doubt you will succeed.
”

“
But, again . . . I
’
m not. . . I. . .
”

“
I
’
m sure your company would not mind at all, Henry Tuhoe, if you helped out casually, every now and then, as a friend of the state, as a corporate liaison. As a favor to me, because in this economy I could use all the help I can get.
”

Henry decides that it
’
s best to go along with it for now. Later he will call Giffler and speak with whomever he needs to speak with to see how to handle this. But right now, jet-lagged, disoriented, frightened, and freaked out, he decides he
’
s in no position to take a stand on anything. Rather than formally committing, he answers the prince with a question.
“
So to make all of this come to pass,
”
he says, sidling up to the edge of the models,
“
what is the single most important thing that needs to happen?
”

The prince steps back and fixes his gaze on Henry. He stares at
him for an uncomfortably long time. He wants Henry to know that not just his question but every aspect of him and everything that he represents is being considered, being judged, and that the answer the prince is about to give is not something to be taken lightly.

“
What needs to happen first and foremost, and sooner rather than later, Henry Tuhoe, is for the heart of my father to stop beating.
”

~ * ~

One Man’s Spa

Spiritual enlightenment and state-of-the-art luxury, it turns out, are not mutually exclusive.