Holy Smokes (13 page)

He smiled, warmth shining from his eyes as he kissed my hand again. “You have given me much joy, Aisling. I cherish that.”

“Fwah. You’re not actually buying that big ham’s Mary Sunshine act, are you?” Jim asked a minute later after the door closed behind Gabriel.

“You’re always pointing out how much there is I don’t know,” I answered, giving it a pointed look. “Well, maybe Gabriel is right. Maybe he was acting as best he knew how. Maybe he knew it was inevitable that Fiat was going to try to destroy us, and he joined forces with him to keep him from going totally bonkers.”

“Yeah, and maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt, but I’m not going to buy any bananas on the chance they will.”

“Rene, you’re a fate; you must know whether or not Gabriel is telling the truth. I’m sure there’s some sort of a rule saying you’re not supposed to interfere, but can you at least tell me if he’s being honest with me or not?”

Rene donned an inscrutable look. “A daimon is not a mind reader or a seer,
mon ami.
I know no more than you whether or not Gabriel is to be trusted. For that, you must trust your own instincts. Me, I think you’re right. I think that perhaps there is more here than we first assumed.”

“That’s reassuring to hear,” I said, marching back into the living room. “Jim, is there any way for me to transport myself and others to another location without using the dark power?”

Jim shook its head. “Not unless you’ve got Captain Kirk in your pocket.”

“Very funny. Right. I guess we’re going to have to do this the hard way. Traci, I summon thee.”

Traci appeared before us, stark naked, wet, and covered in bubbles.

“Oh, jeez, I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to interrupt your bubble bath. Here, take this blanket…”

The look the demon gave me as it snatched a small cashmere lap blanket from my hands was one that could have curdled an entire dairy full of milk. “Is it too much to ask that you warn me before summoning?” it snapped.

“Sorry. I didn’t know that…er…demons bathed.”

Its eyes opened wide in indignation. “Of course we bathe! I’m a demon, not a barbarian.” Traci took a deep breath and visibly calmed itself. “I apologize for the tone of my voice, my lord. I assume you summoned me to discuss the situation in Paris.”

“What situation in Paris?”

I thought Jim had a long-suffering look down pat, but Traci’s expression put Jim to shame. “The situation about which I have been trying to talk to you for some time. The one concerning the role of Venediger, which you so…
graciously
…inflicted upon me.”

“What about it? I haven’t heard anyone complain about the job you’re doing, so you’re obviously doing something right.”

“I am referring to the challenger to the position,” Traci all but snapped, clearly at the end of its rope. “I have sent you faxes and e-mails about it, not to mention copious voice mails, but you have not responded!”

“Someone wants to take the position over? Is it someone evil?” I asked with a little stab of guilt at the fact that I’d been avoiding dealing with anything but the most pressing of items.

“Not that I am aware. The challenger is a mage by the name of Jovana.”

“Human? Not a demon lord or demonic in any sense of the word?”

“No. Evidently she is well-known in the community as a scholar.”

“Oh, well then,” I said with a relieved sigh, waving away the worry that someone like Bael was trying to take control of the French Otherworld. “She sounds perfect for the job. Let her win the challenge. I’m glad that’s taken care of, because I need you to book me three tickets to—what was the name of that little town in Italy that Gabriel mentioned?”

“But, my lord—”

“Santa Cristina?” Rene answered.

“That’s the one. It’s in the Tyrol, he said. I want you to book us three tickets on as direct a flight as you can get us, and arrange for a car while you’re at it.”

Traci fretted as I started out of the room. “My lord, the challenge—”

I paused long enough to give it a firm smile. “I know it’s kind of galling to purposely throw a challenge, but believe me, you’ll get over it fast enough.”

“But what sort of challenge—”

“It doesn’t matter. Pick whatever sort of event you like for the challenge,” I said, ruthlessly interrupting its bleats. Traci had a tendency to go on and on about trivial matters if you didn’t keep a firm hand with it. “Now please get onto finding us those tickets. I want to be out there as soon as we can. I assume you’ll want to come, Rene?”

“I wouldn’t miss it…er…what is it exactly we will be doing in Italy?”

“We’re going to enact a revolution,” I said succinctly, and closed the door softly on the stunned expressions of their faces.

“
I
’m cold.”

“Shush. Is that it, Rene?”

A tiny penlight pierced the blackness of the car and shone down on a map. “I think so.”

“It’s got to be below zero in here. Can we turn on the heat, at least?”

“No. We don’t want anyone to hear the car. Was that an owl? A real owl, or a some sort of a signal, do you think?” I asked, peering blindly out into the night. Surrounded as we were by dense forest, there was nothing to see but a whole lot of dark.

Rene’s shadow cocked its head. “I did not hear. Aisling, I am beginning to believe that perhaps there are not the guards present that you imagined.”

“I can’t feel my toes. I can’t feel my legs. I can’t feel my package,” Jim said in a mournful tone. “How’m I ever going to make little demons if my package ices up and drops off, huh?
Huh?
”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake! Here, you can have my blanket, although I’d like to point out that you do, in fact, have a thick furry coat, and your genitals are not going to freeze and fall off your body.” I wrapped the car blanket that I’d been huddled under around Jim, who recoiled in horror.

“I’m not going to take a blanket away from a pregnant woman! That’s like a cardinal sin or something! I’ll get double demerits!”

“Oh, stop comp—ack!” I jumped at least a foot off the backseat of the car, where Jim and I had been sitting, at the sudden movement outside the window. “Uncle Damian! You just about gave me a heart attack!”

“You told me to be stealthy,” he said gruffly as he slid into the front passenger seat. “You can turn the engine on, Rene. There’s no one out here.”

“Oh, good, heat at last. I hope one of my legs doesn’t snap off before it’s thawed out,” Jim said, crowding forward to try to get some of the heat as Rene started the car.

“There’s no one? Are you sure?” I asked Uncle Damian.

He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, you were in the black berets or something during the war,” I said, trying to mollify him.

“The term is black ops. Not that I’m admitting to having been involved in anything like that,” he said.

“Plausible deniability, we know. But it’s been a few years since you were doing anything like that, and if Fiat has dragons guarding his uncle, they could be very tricky.”

“Aisling, I said there was no one out there,” he answered, his voice as hard as flint.

“Well, hell.”

“Abaddon.”

I sucked on my lower lip for a moment, thinking hard and fast. “Maybe this isn’t the right place.”

“It’s the right place,” Uncle Damian answered.

“You’re sure that Bastian Blu lives here?”

“That’s what the man said.”

I thought a bit more. “He could be lying. I wouldn’t put it past Fiat to have set up a false house so people would think his uncle was here, but really, he was somewhere else.”

Uncle Damian sighed, his breath making a little puff of smoke in the cold mountain air. The Italian Alps in winter were lovely, but there was a reason that the tiny town of Santa Cristina was best known as a ski resort. Outside the car, the snow was piled up at least six feet deep. “He didn’t lie. I didn’t give him the opportunity to do so. I may not have been in the service for twenty-six years, but I have not forgotten how to interrogate an individual or search for enemy patrols. Now let’s get going. I can think of other places I’d rather be than sitting here.”

Rene turned the wheel and drove us up a long, snowy road, the headlights picking up occasional glimpses of startled deer and nocturnal animals as they hurried out of our path.

“I can’t believe Fiat doesn’t have anyone guarding his uncle,” I mused, pinching my lip.

“Maybe no one cares about him.” Jim shrugged. “Fiat’s been in control of the sept for a long time. Maybe he doesn’t think his uncle is a threat anymore.”

I smiled to myself. “He’s going to have a big surprise then, isn’t he?”

“Maybe. Or maybe it’ll be you that gets the surprise,” Jim said.

“Bah. Holy cow, is that the villa?” I gawked as the car rounded a wooded curve, the sight of a large square stone villa being highlighted by the car’s lights. “That’s a heck of a nice place to be exiled to.”

As we drove up to the front, I could see that the main part of the villa was shaped like a square block, but an addition on one side gave it a bit more depth. On the far side, standing slightly away from the main building, a four-story stone square tower pulled the eye upward, following the line of the hill behind it. Gothic domed windows and doors gave the place a faintly medieval sense, a feeling that was enhanced by the aged figure who opened one of the double front doors as we stopped before them.

“Hello. Do you speak English?” I asked the elderly man who stood bent and crooked, carrying a large candelabra in one hand.

“Yes,” the old man said, gesturing toward the open door with the candles. The flames danced and sputtered in the freezing night air, not doing a whole lot to light up the area around us. The old man squinted at me for a minute. “You are a mate. You are here to see Signor Blu?”

“Yes, we are. My name is Aisling Grey. Er…is Mr. Blu up to having visitors?”

The old man blinked rheumy eyes at me. I was startled to see that his pupils were elongated, although it made sense that dragons were taking care of Fiat’s uncle. Still, it was rare you saw an elderly one.

“Is he…I mean, he’s not strapped into anything, right?”

“Strapped into anything?” He looked at me like I was the one who’d been shut away for being insane.

I glanced at the others. They just stood silent, content to let me handle things. Blast them. “We don’t want to disturb Mr. Blu if he is…unwell.”

“The signor has remarkable health.” The old guy gestured toward the door. “We do not have many visitors. Enter.”

“Thank you. It’s a bit cold out tonight,” I said, stepping into the villa, trying to keep from gawking at the gorgeous surroundings as the old man hurried us through an open-vaulted entryway. Given that he walked about as fast as an elderly snail, there was plenty of time for appreciating the décor.

I felt a little tingle as I went through the doorway, usually a sign of a protection ward. Jim had no problem passing through it, though, so it couldn’t have been a very strong one.

“Stand as far away from anything antique as is possible, don’t shed, and try not to drool,” I ordered it in a low tone of voice as we were escorted into a small room.

“You’re so anal these days. It’s just a bit of old furniture. Hey, you think that’s a Fabergé egg over there?”

“Move so much as one toenail, and I’ll have your ears!” I whispered, praying that I could get through the evening without disaster striking.

“The man, he did not seem to act as if his master was insane,” Rene mused as he examined the paintings hanging on the wall. “When you told us of your plan last night, I was not so sure it would work. People are not locked away without reason,
hein
? But now…pfft. It is possible.”

“It pretty much hinges on whether Fiat was being kind to an ailing relative, or a rat fink who wouldn’t hesitate to strong-arm family out of his path to power. Knowing him as I do, I’m willing to bet you that his uncle is as sane as I am.”

Three pairs of eyes considered me with what I thought was excessive speculation. Before I could point that out, the door opened and Fiat stepped into the room.

“Oh, shit,” I swore under my breath, desperately trying to think of some explanation for being there.

Rene was standing close enough to hear me.
“Merde,”
he corrected.

“Um…hi, Fiat,” I said with all the wit and vim of a stale pancake. “I expect you’d like to know why we’re here, huh?”

Fiat’s eyes widened. “An explanation is always pleasant, although I believe greetings are generally conducted first. Orazio said your name is Aisling Grey? I am Bastiano de Girardin Blu.”

My jaw dropped. I couldn’t help myself, it dropped a whole inch or so while I stared at the Fiat double and tried to process the information. “You’re Fiat’s
uncle
?”

“Yes.” He nodded, glancing at the others. His voice had a heavier Italian accent than Fiat’s, but other than that, it was difficult to tell the two men weren’t one and the same. “You are a Guardian. You have a demon with you. You are here to banish me to the Akasha?”

“Am I seeing things, or does he look just like Fiat?” I whispered to Jim.

“There are a few differences. He isn’t a snake in the grass, for one,” it answered.

Bastiano straightened his shoulders. It was really uncanny how much he looked like Fiat, from the curly blond hair, to the brilliant blue eyes, right down to the same square chin. “I knew this day would come. If you will allow me a few minutes to see to my people, I would be grateful.”

“No, I’m sorry—” I said, about to explain the misunderstanding.

“They have been with me since Fiat imprisoned me. They are harmless, but deserve a reward for serving me so well,” Bastiano interrupted. “If you wish me to beg you for this concession, I will do so.”

“Oh, jeez, no! Mr. Blu, you’ve got this totally wrong. We’re not bad guys,” I said, waving my hand toward the three others. “I’m a Guardian, yes, and Jim is a demon, but we’re not here to banish you to limbo. We’re here to rescue you.”

“Rescue me?” Now it was his turn to look stunned. “Do you mean it? No, you cannot. This is a cruel game you play.”