Holy Rollers (30 page)

Not unlike his own.

Still, the politician in him sought to make peace. There would be time to rescue Jared later.

“I can see the resemblance,” said Dan.

“Shut up,” was the mumbled response, and Dan involuntarily took a step back.

Jared’s head bounced back and forth between Grant and Dan several times while he tried to decide what to do or say, but finally he remembered that if Grant was standing in front of him it probably meant seven million dollars was at stake. And he could—no, he
would
—catch up with Dan later.

“Can you excuse us, Dan? Pops and I need to talk.”

When they were alone and the door was secure, Grant handed Jared his cell phone.

“I’m not supposed to have a phone,” he said. “The rules…”

“Forget the rules. We have our own rules now.”

Jared looked lovingly at his phone. “Hey, I missed seventeen texts!”

Grant took the phone out of his hand. “Forget those until you’re back in New York. What I’m about to have you do will require all your concentration. Can you do that for me?”

“Uh…sure?”

Grant sighed. He hated to play this card, but… “Can you do that for Chase?”

“Sure!”

Grant wanted to say something about how inappropriate it was for Jared to lust after his boyfriend right in front of him, but let it go. There’d be time for that later.

“Okay, then, listen closely. It’s time to put you to work…”

“Oh, I’ve been working. Three blow jobs already. These ex-gays are
sex-crazed
!”

“That’s far too much information.” He backed Jared deeper into the room. “I need you to get something from Merribaugh, and I’m not too particular how you do it, if you know what I mean.”

Jared mulled over Grant’s words. “You want me to sleep with him?”

“I don’t care. Whatever works. From what I’ve heard, I figure you stand a chance with him.”

Jared didn’t think much of that idea. “But Merribaugh wears polyester suits!”

“Merribaugh might be wheeling around a suitcase with seven million dollars inside.”

Jared’s distaste vanished. “Now that I think about it, he’s sort of hot. In a ‘daddy’ kind of way.”

Grant shook those words out of his head. “Just find out where the suitcase is. However you do it is fine with me, as long as we get the money.”

Jared was confused again. “I thought the money was in the safe.”

“So did we. But it wasn’t.” He tried to be patient but failed. “Which is why I’m here telling you to find the suitcase.”

“And steal it?”

“No. I don’t wanna put you in a dangerous spot.” He also didn’t want Jared to screw it up. “When you find it, text me the location and I’ll take it from there. I’ve already programmed my number into your phone.”

“Okay,” said Jared, but then he stopped. “How did you program your number into my phone? You don’t know the password.”

“The password,” said Grant, “was JARED. It really wasn’t that difficult to figure out.”

$ $ $

Off the lobby was a registration table for Beyond Sin, making it logically the first place Jared went to look for Merribaugh. He was surprised that he wasn’t there.

A former lesbian who was overcompensating with Sephora said, “I think he went up to Dr. Hurley’s suite, but he should be back soon.”

Jared sat down to wait, and he was still waiting an hour later. He spent his time checking out the ex-gays as they tentatively made their way to the registration table and wasn’t particularly impressed. Although it was nice to know he’d be the prettiest one.

Mr. Lombardo, with his swagger, seemed to be the only person who wasn’t fazed as he approached the table. Sephora Girl greeted him warmly.

“There’s our poster boy!” said Merribaugh, approaching from the lobby, and Jared started to rise until he realized he was talking to Lombardo. The men embraced.

“Ahem,” said Jared.

“Ah! Jerry!” He turned to Lombardo. “Louis Lombardo, I’d like you to meet Jerry Stanley. Jerry, Louis.”

“
I’m
the poster boy,” said Jared, finally standing to shake hands.

“Yes,” said Merribaugh. “And Louis was
last
year’s poster boy. This year he’s going to conduct a workshop on redirecting deviant energy into positive results.”

“That’s right,” said Lombardo. “The time and effort homosexuals waste on finding and having sex is time and effort that can be better used to improve oneself.”

“Depends on how you’re finding and having sex,” said Jared.

“Huh?”

“Uh…Just joking.
Anyway
…” He took Merribaugh’s elbow and gave Louis Lombardo a dismissive sneer. “Is there somewhere we can speak in private?”

Merribaugh was concerned. “Is there a problem?”

“Sort of.”

“Well…” He looked past the registration desk, where a large ballroom was mostly empty. “Let’s go over there and…”

“No,” said Jared. “Someone might see us talk.”

“Well, uh…”

“How about my room?”

“Your…” Merribaugh gulped. “Hotel room?”

Jared smiled. “I need to be in my comfort zone.”

$ $ $

Mary Beth’s first reaction to Grant’s plan was not favorable.

“Your wife? I have to pretend to like you?”

“Of course not,” he said. “Keep hating me, and we’ll be just like every other heterosexual married couple.”

They were leaning against the car, which Farraday had finally managed to park around the corner from the hotel. He figured for the ride home he’d grab something from the line of cars waiting for the valet, which would be much more convenient.

Grant continued. “It helps that Jared’s on the inside, but that’s not enough. We need to be in there, too. Especially because, well, we’re talkin’ Jared.”

That part she understood. The rest, though…

“Don’t get me wrong, Lambert, but I’d just as soon not share a hotel room with you.”

“You think I’m crazy about the idea? But if we check in together as husband and wife, it’ll look natural. And, unlike me, you can be charming. When you want to. Charm isn’t one of my strong points.”

“That’s true,” said Farraday.

“Shuddup.”

Mary Beth said, “And how do we explain not having any luggage?”

Grant nodded to a pile of trash set out at curbside across the street. “There’s a suitcase.”

“You have
got
to be kidding me.”

He waited for traffic to clear and crossed. Reluctantly, she followed, more out of curiosity than anything else.

The suitcase was definitely trash-worthy, covered with scuffs, dents, and dirt. But the zipper worked, which was all Grant cared about.

“Here,” said holding out the handle to her.

“I’m not touching that.”

Grant shook his head and muttered, “Gotta do everything myself,” then grabbed the handle with one hand and opened the suitcase with the other. It was empty, which was good, because he’d imagined the worst.

He scanned the trash pile until his eyes settled on some bundled magazines. He set down the suitcase to unbundle them.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Making an empty suitcase not empty.”

Mary Beth looked over his shoulder as he started filling the suitcase with magazines. “Wait! I haven’t read that issue of
Vogue
!”

$ $ $

When they reached Jared’s room, the young man got straight to the point. “I don’t feel special.”

Merribaugh hadn’t known what to expect, but this would have been last on his list. “But you are special, Jerry. You’re a special creature of God.”

“That’s not what I mean. I mean, no one is making a fuss over me. I’m stuck in this hotel room and I’m bored.”

“You’ll make friends. You’ll find things to do. Maybe if you went to the gym…”

“I’ve been to the gym.” Which was at least the truth. “That didn’t do it. I thought I was going to be treated special, and that’s not happening.” Merribaugh started to say something, but Jared stopped him. “And now I discover there’s another ex-gay poster boy in the house. That’s like adding injury to insult.”

“You mean insult to…Never mind. Louis Lombardo was last year’s attraction. That has nothing to do with you.”

Jared slumped face-down on the bed and sobbed. “I’m having self-esteem issues.”

Which would have been the second-last thing on Merribaugh’s list. He leaned forward and gently stroked the boy’s hair. “Jerry, you’ll be fine.”

Still face-down, Jared’s muffled voice said, “I think I know the problem.”

“What? Tell me.”

“My clothes are gay.”

“Your clothes are…what?”

Jared rolled over. “All the clothes I brought with me—everything I own—are things I bought when I was gay. And I bought them because they reinforced my, uh,
gayness
. I need non-gay clothes.” Jared thought about that. “
Pretty
non-gay clothes.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, if I’m going to be the star attraction at Project Erection…”

“Project
Rectitude
.”

“That’s what I said,” Jared said with a nod. “Anyway, if I’m going to be the star, I need to stand out, right?”

“Well, uh…”

“I need…” Jared stopped. “How much cash do you have on you?”

“Why do you ask?” Merribaugh had been taken by hustlers at similar conferences before, with their innocent faces and treacherous hearts, and he wasn’t about to let it happen again. One even had to be careful around someone as seemingly, well,
dumb
as Jerry Stanley. Appearances could be very deceiving.

“Because the cute shirt I saw at Brooks Brothers costs two-forty, and I don’t have that kind of cash on me.”

“That’s a lot for a shirt.”

“I know!” shrieked Jared, in part because he couldn’t imagine himself wearing Brooks Brothers. “But it is
so
cute! And so non-gay! I mean, it’s
Brooks Brothers
! That’s about as non-gay as you can get.”

“Well…”

“No, you don’t understand. I
need
it.” Jared fixed his jaw. He was not unfamiliar with playing the spoiled brat. “If I don’t get that shirt from Brooks Brothers, I don’t go on. And then you’ll have to recycle that tired old queen Louis Lombardo if you want a poster boy.”

Merribaugh looked the young man over. “What’s wrong with the shirt you’re wearing now?”

“It’s gay.”

“I think it looks quite nice,” said Merribaugh, and Jared found the opening he’d been waiting for.

“In that case,” he said, as the buttons were unbuttoned, “
you
wear it.”

And then Jared’s shirt was off and he stood in front of Merribaugh, naked from the waist up. The older man’s eyes traveled up and down the slender torso.

“Oh, dear,” Merribaugh mumbled and finally forced himself to look away. “Is it hot in here, or…”

Jared’s voice was soft. “Oh, yeah…it’s
hot
. It’s
soooo
hot…”

Merribaugh took off his sport coat and dropped it on the bed. This was all too sudden. He hadn’t had time to prepare himself.

But Jerry Stanley’s moods seem to change faster than the temperature in the room, because he crossed his thin arms in front of him and began pouting again.

“I really want that shirt, Mr. Merribaugh.”

And Merribaugh surrendered. If Jerry thought he needed that shirt, maybe he needed that shirt.

“Very well,” he said. “I’ll run over to Brooks Brothers.”

He excused himself to use the bathroom, which made Jared’s life much easier because he hadn’t been able to think of a way to separate the preacher from his sport coat, short of asking to try it on. And while he would have done that, it would have been
icky
.

When the bathroom door was closed—but not, Jared noted, locked—he removed Merribaugh’s wallet from the sport coat and shoved it deep between the mattress and box spring. He perched on top of it and practiced his smiles in the mirror until he finally heard a flush, followed by water running in the sink. And then Merribaugh was back.

“Okay, Brooks Brothers.” He grabbed the sport coat and began putting it on.

Jared nodded. “Just down the street from the hotel.”

Merribaugh patted his breast pocket and concern showed on his face. “Where’s my wallet?”

Jared sat on the bed and shrugged his naked shoulders. “No clue.”

“I could have sworn I had it when I came in.”

“I don’t remember seeing it.” He picked up a pillow from the bed and looked underneath. “Not there.”

Merribaugh dropped to his hands and knees and looked under the bed. “This is very strange.”

“Maybe you left it in your room.”