Hollywood & Vine (38 page)

Tears dripped from her chin and pooled on the table unnoticed as Josie stared unblinkingly at the images—pictures of Anders and Aubrey arriving at the club, groping each other as they danced, and leaving hours later smiling and laughing. As painful as those were to see, the one that twisted the steel blade into her stomach was of Aubrey in her robe, smiling at Anders as he walked to his SUV this morning.

“Fucking asshole,” she spat pushing away from the table. With gritted teeth, she wiped the tears sticking to her skin. Her emotions were all over the place, jumping from one extreme to the other. She fought to hang on to the anger seeping from her pores, but another look at the screen decimated the last of her resolve. Her shoulders slumped and jerked as the pain of Anders’ betrayal ripped body-wracking sobs from her chest.

Bending at the waist, she dug her elbows into her knees, hoping the physical pain would distract her from the ache inside her chest. She tried to focus on her breathing, but the burn in her throat from each ragged breath expanding her constricted lungs was crippling. Lost in her pain, she didn’t hear the key slide into the lock or the turn of the bolt as it disengaged.

Anders tossed his keys on the table and let out a tired sigh. Dark circles marred the puffy skin under his eyes, and his body ached from fatigue. Dragging a hand down his face, he walked toward the living room. He’d taken three steps when he heard the sound of Josie crying coming from the dining room. Turning to the left, he stepped through the doorway and froze.

“Ivy, what happened? Are you okay?”

Every muscle in her body tensed at the sound of Anders’ voice. She released her hair and straightened her back before her red, swollen eyes locked with his. The anger that had slipped through her fingers like sand moments earlier came rushing back. “What happened?” she croaked, a mocking sneer twisting her features. “I’ll tell you what happened. I let myself get involved with a lying asshole who doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but himself.”

His voice was even and controlled when he spoke, conveying none of his swelling emotions. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you being a liar. Or are you stupid too?” Josie shook her head as a tear rolled down her cheek. “No, I’m the fool here.”

“Well, why don’t we pretend for a minute that I am stupid so you can explain why I’m a lying asshole.”

“Are you going to stand there and pretend you have no idea what I’m talking about? Pretend you didn’t look me in the eye this morning and lie?”

Confusion flashed across Anders’ features, and for a split second hope stilled the breath in Josie’s lungs. The moment his lips parted and his eyes widened, however, any traces of doubt that the pictures had somehow been wrong vanished.

“I didn’t lie to you this morning.” Anders wracked his brain trying to figure out how she would know anything about what happened last night. His eyes drifted to his open computer and the sight caused a rock to settle in his stomach.

“Bullshit!” Josie screamed, her voice bouncing off the walls as her hands tightened into fists. She’d never wanted to hit anyone as much as she wanted to hit him in that moment.

Anders stepped forward and wrapped his hands around the top of the chair in front of him. “So what? You know everything about last night?” He jerked his chin toward the computer. “You’re gonna look at those pictures and the shit they print and believe it like it’s the fucking gospel? Jesus fucking Christ, Josie, I thought you knew better than that by now.”

Josie bristled. “I’m not a fucking idiot. I’m also not blind.” She stepped to the laptop and in one angry move, spun it around until the screen faced Anders. “This looks a hell of a lot more like Aubrey Nash standing in her robe than Owen. But that’s not possible, right? Because you weren’t with Aubrey, you were with Owen.”

Anders’ knees buckled from the weight of shock and dread that fell over him. He reached forward and dragged the laptop across the table, scanning the pictures of him leaving Aubrey’s house. He’d been certain the pictures were of the night before, when they’d danced or left the club. He could explain those. He had every intention of telling her about the rest of the night, but he wanted the time and privacy to do so. But this? There was no way she’d ever believe him. Not now. Still, he had to try.

“I know this looks bad, but I can explain. I didn’t lie to you this morning. I just didn’t tell you everything because I knew you’d be pissed.”

Josie’s mouth fell open with disbelief. She thought for sure he’d throw in the towel and admit what he’d done. She never imagined he’d try to keep the charade going. “You…you’re still going to deny that you lied? Do you have any respect for me at all?”

The obvious truth in her words caused her eyes to shimmer with tears and her lip to tremble. From the beginning, she’d expected to be the one turned to ash when they caught fire. What she hadn’t realized, what she couldn’t have prepared for, was just how much it would hurt when it happened.

“Of course I respect you. Look, everyone wanted to hang out a little longer, and things seemed okay. Aubrey had kept her distance, and I was too drunk to drive, so I went along with it. We all went back to her place to chill, but she started her shit again, so I told her I was done. Fuck, the bitch slapped me and stormed out of the room. I was going to close my eyes for a minute then call a cab. The next thing I knew, it was morning, and I was still on her couch. She caught me at the door, spewing some shit about being sorry and drinking too much. Honestly, I wasn’t listening. I just wanted to get the fuck out of there.”

Josie thought about the pictures of them dancing and the way Aubrey’s arms wound around his neck as he gripped her hips. They looked comfortable, familiar, intimate. Then she remembered the satisfied smile on Aubrey’s face watching Anders leave her house. She didn’t look like a rejected woman, not even a little. Josie shook her head. “I don’t believe you.”

Anders flattened his palms on the table and dropped his head. He pulled in a deep breath before lifting gaze. His eyes were hard and guarded as his anger simmered just below the surface. “What don’t you believe, Ivy?”

With her face wiped clean of emotion, she met his gaze without hesitation. When she spoke, her voice was flat and lifeless, just like her eyes. “Any of it.”

“Goddamn it!” He picked up a chair and hurled it against the wall. The sound of splintering wood, cracking drywall, and panting breaths echoed around the room. “Why the fuck are you even here? If you’re never going to believe anything I say, what’s the point?”

Josie flinched as her heart hammered. She took two steps back, her eyes wide with surprise. “There isn’t one. That’s why I’m leaving.” She turned toward the hallway but hadn’t even taken a step before Anders locked his arms around her waist from behind.

“You don’t mean that,” he whispered, his voice rough.

But she did mean it, and they both knew it. “Let me go. I need to get my things.”

“No.”

“I don’t want to be here,” she cried, wrenching free of his grasp. “I’m tired of feeling like shit about myself. I’m tired of ignoring my feelings for yours. I told you I’d never back burner myself, but I did. And I’m done.”

“What about me? Do you think I’ve done nothing for you? For us? You’re not the only one who’s out of their comfort zone. None of this is easy for me, but you don’t care anything about that, do you?”

“Here we go, right back to you and what you’ve given up, what you’ve sacrificed. I promise you”—she choked, her eyes stinging—“what I’ve lost, what I gave you, was more of a sacrifice than anything you’ve done. And you ruined it. You broke everything.”

Anders swallowed around the lump in his throat and remained still as Josie stormed out of the room. Her angry words slammed into his chest like a sledgehammer, reinforcing the reasons he guarded himself in the first place. The wall he’d spent years erecting began to harden and mold over the cracks his relationship with Josie had caused. He let the weight of its protection slide over his shoulders and fortify around his heart once more. With his mouth set in a hard line, he walked into the kitchen and pulled a beer from the refrigerator.

He flicked the cap onto the countertop and moved back to the dining room. Shoving his free hand into his pocket, he tipped back his beer and stared out the window. The sound of opening and slamming drawers in the bedroom as Josie packed the few things she’d left echoed through the house. He worked to keep his expression a mask of indifference when she let out a muffled curse.

Unable to remain still, he turned away from the window and winced when his eyes landed on his laptop. The dozen pictures of him dancing with Aubrey last night then leaving her house this morning were sure to have brought a fat paycheck to someone.

His lip curled in disgust as he thought about the paparazzi. They were always out to make a buck, not giving a shit whose life they screwed up in the process, not that Anders considered his life screwed up. Until all the drama had started with Josie, he’d been content, happy even. If Josie wanted to call it quits, then there was nothing he could do to stop her. He’d been fine without her before, and he’d be fine without her now. So be it.

When Josie walked into the room with a bag thrown over her shoulder, his stomach tightened and his indifference slipped. Her eyes were red and swollen, but it did nothing to put out the fire burning in her gaze.

For a moment, Josie hesitated. Her eyes raked over him before she made a sound of disgust in the back of her throat and turned to leave without saying a word. Anders’ jaw tightened at the dismissive gesture and he took off behind her, catching her arm and spinning her around to face him.

“So that’s it? You’re done? You’ve got nothing else to say?”

Josie jerked free and wrapped her fingers around the strap of her bag. “I think I’ve said everything I can.”

“Why won’t you fucking believe me?” he shouted. He didn’t know why he was bothering. She was done, and he was tired of defending himself. This was why he didn’t do relationships. Why he should never have broken his one and done rule. The moment the thought crossed his mind, something dark flashed in his eyes.

“Because you have a shitty track record? Because there are pictures of you two hanging all over each other? Because she’s wanted to fuck you since she walked on set? Or how about the fact that you didn’t come home last night?” Her chest rose and fell with each heaving breath and her body shook with anger.

Her refusal to believe him, to allow even a sliver of trust, made him snap. “I told you nothing happened. Do you want to know why nothing happened, Ivy? Because I have a rule. I never fuck the same woman twice. You are the only person I’ve even broken that rule for. Why the fuck would I ruin my relationship with you for a piece of pussy I’ve already had?”

He might as well have slapped her. His words stung worse than any physical blow he could have delivered. The flash of pain that crossed his face showed that he knew it too.

“What?” Josie could barely breathe. Every one of her muscles locked with tension.

“Fuck. I shouldn’t have said it like that. I should have told you. It happened before I knew you, when we auditioned. But telling you would have made things worse, and you already didn’t trust me. I would never fuck around on you, Ivy. I’m a lot of things, but I’m not that guy.”

Josie shook her head in disbelief. For months she had warred with herself, her heart and her head at odds. But for the first time since she and Anders had been together, they were both in agreement about something: he would destroy her. This life wasn’t meant for her.

He wasn’t meant for her.

There would always be an Aubrey in their lives. Even if people knew about Josie, it wouldn’t matter. Not when the prize was Anders Ellis. Even if he didn’t sleep with Aubrey, again, it would happen eventually. Guys like Anders couldn’t change. She was a fool for ever believing different.

“Just when I thought you couldn’t be more of a liar or hurt me any more, you prove me wrong. I shouldn’t be surprised. You’ve said yourself there are things you’ve lied to me about. I should have walked away then. I won’t make that mistake again.” She turned for the door and wrapped her hand around the knob.

Anders’ heart hammered and the walls around it squeezed mercilessly. Concrete settled in his stomach, and he knew if she left this time, it was for good. “If you leave, that’s it. There’s no coming back.”

Josie laughed, the sound harsh and hollow. Empty. She turned to face him, her hand still holding the handle. “That’s how breakups work. I leave and don’t come back. Oh wait,” she gasped in mock surprise, clinging to her anger and ignoring the feeling of her heart shattering. “We can’t break up. We don’t even exist. Have a nice life, asshole.”

Anders smoothed his face like the A-list actor he was. As the front door slammed, he lifted his beer in the air and saluted her before draining the rest.

“Well, that’s that,” he muttered. It wasn’t worth it. He turned back to the kitchen for another beer, not daring to acknowledge the stinging in his eyes or the searing pain carving a hole in his chest. It just wasn’t worth it.