Hollywood Husbands (2 page)

Saturday morning breakfast at the Polo Lounge had once been a ritual for Jack and Howard and Mannon Cable, the movie star, who had yet to appear. Now they were all too busy, and it was a rare occasion when they were able to sit down to breakfast together.

Howard headed Orpheus Studios, a recent appointment and one he relished. Heading a studio had always been his big ambition, and now he was there, King of the whole fucking heap – while it lasted. For Howard, like everyone else in Hollywood, realized that being a studio head was an extremely tenuous occupation, and the position of great and mighty power could be snatched away at any given moment by faceless corporate executives who ran the film industry like a bank. Being a studio head was the treacherous no man’s land between high-powered agent and independent producer. The saving speech of every deposed studio head was: ‘I need more creativity. My talent is stifled here. Too much to do and too little time. We’re parting amicably. I’m going into indie prod.’ In the industry, ‘indie prod’ (independent production to the uninitiated) equals out on your ass. Canned. Can’t cut it. Tough shit. Don’t call us, we’ll call you. And so… most indie prods faded into oblivion after one failed movie.

Howard Soloman knew this only too well, and it scared him. He had struggled too long and too hard to allow it to happen to him. The one consolation he could think of was that at least when you failed in Hollywood you failed up. Out at one studio – in at another. The old pals act reigned supreme. Also, he was lucky. Zachary K. Klinger – the multi-powerful magnate – owned Orpheus. And Zachary had hired him personally.

Tapping the tabletop with bitten-to-the-quick nails, Howard said, ‘Since Clarissa wasn’t in the goddamn movie, I guess it was one she vetoed. Right?’

‘Her decision made her very happy last night,’ Jack replied gravely. ‘
Terms of Endearment
it wasn’t.’ He extracted a pair of heavy horn-rimmed glasses from his top pocket and put them on. He didn’t need them to see, but as far as he was concerned they took the curse off his good looks. So did the two-day growth of stubble he carefully cultivated.

Jack did not realize that the glasses and the incipient beard made him all the more attractive to women. Ah… women… The story of his life. Who would have thought in seventh grade that shy, studious Jack Python would have developed into one of the great lovers of the century? He couldn’t help the effect he had on women. One penetrating glance and they were his. No rock star had a better track record.

Not that Jack went out chasing. It had never been necessary. From the onset of puberty and his first conquest at fifteen, women had fallen across his path with monotonous regularity. Most of his life he had indulged shamelessly. One, two, three a week. Who counted? A brief marriage at twenty-five barely stopped him in his tracks. Only luck and a certain sixth sense had prevented him from catching various sexual diseases. Of course now, in the eighties, it was only prudent to be extra careful. Plus he felt a more serious image was in order, and for a year he had been desperately trying to live down his lover boy reputation. Hence his relationship with Clarissa Browning. Clarissa was a serious actress with a capital S. She had won an Oscar, and been nominated twice. No bimbette movie star she.

‘I’d like to get Clarissa to do a film for Orpheus,’ Howard said, chewing on a bread roll.

‘Have you anything in mind?’

‘Whatever she wants. She’s the star.’ Reaching for the butter he added, ‘Why don’t you tell her to call me direct. If I operate through her schmuck agent nothing’ll get done.’ He nodded, pleased with his own idea. ‘Clarissa can whisper in my ear what she wants to do, and
then
I’ll do the dance of a thousand agents.’

‘Why don’t
you
phone
her
?’ Jack suggested.

Howard hadn’t thought of anything as simple as that. ‘Would she mind?’

‘I don’t think for her. Give it a shot.’

‘That’s not a bad idea…’ His attention wandered. ‘Christ!’ he exclaimed. ‘Willya look at that ass!’

Jack cast an appraising glance at a very impressive rear-end clad in tight white pants exiting the Polo Lounge. Recognizing the sway, he smiled to himself. Chica Hernandez – Queen of the Mexican Soaps. He would know that sway anywhere, although he didn’t let on to Howard. Kiss and tell had never been his style. Let the tabloids guess their smutty little hearts out. Jack never spoke about his many conquests – even though it drove Howard and the other guys crazy. They wanted names and details, and all they got was a smile and a discreet silence.

Since the start of his year-long affair with Clarissa there wasn’t much to tell. A couple of production assistants, an enthusiastic bit-part actress, a Eurasian model. All one-night stands. As far as he was concerned he had been scrupulously faithful. Well, with a woman like Clarissa Browning in your life you couldn’t be too careful. Their romance was headlines, he had to watch his every move.

Jack Python was smart, charming, a concerned citizen interested in maybe pursuing a political career one day. (Hey – remember Reagan?) And although he understood women very well – or thought he did – he still believed (subliminally, of course) in the old double standard. It was okay for him to indulge in the occasional indiscretion – after all, a quick lay meant nothing to a man. But God forbid Clarissa ever did it.

Not that she would. Jack knew that for sure.

* * *

‘Faster!’ gasped Clarissa Browning fervently. ‘Come
on
. Faster!’

The young actor on top of her obliged. Although in shock, he was managing to perform nevertheless. Well, he was twenty-three years old, and at twenty-three a hard-on is only a handshake away.

Clarissa Browning had done more than shake his hand. Shortly after their first meeting on the set of the film they were appearing in together, she had requested his presence in her dressing room. He went willingly. Clarissa was a star, and this was only his second movie.

She offered him a glass of white wine and a pep talk about his role. Even though it was only ten o’clock in the morning he accepted both gratefully. Then, in clipped tones, pushing strands of fine hair away from her delicate but interesting features, she said, ‘You do know that on film reality is the core of everything.’

He nodded respectfully.

‘You play my lover,’ she said. Clarissa was twenty-nine years old with a long face, limpid eyes, a nose just saved from being too long, and a thin line of a mouth. In life she received no awards for beauty. However, she had proven more than once that her ordinary looks created incandescent magic in front of a camera.

‘I’m looking forward to it,’ the young actor said enthusiastically.

‘So am I,’ she replied evenly. ‘Realize, though, that anticipation is not enough. When we interact on screen it has to be real. We have to generate
excitement
and
passion
and
longing
.’ She paused. He coughed. ‘So,’ she continued matter-of-factly, ‘I believe in working our roles through
before
we get in front of the camera. That way we are never caught with our pants down – metaphorically speaking, of course.’

He tried for a laugh and wondered why he was beginning to perspire.

‘Let’s make love and get it out of the way,’ she said, her intense brown eyes challenging his.

Who was he to argue? He forgot about his California blonde perfect girlfriend with thirty-six-inch boobs and the longest legs in town.

Clarissa reached over, unzipped his Levis, and they went to work. Even though he was somewhat shell-shocked that he was sticking it to Clarissa Browning.
The Clarissa Browning!
Who would believe it?!

When they were finished she said briskly, ‘Now we’ll both be able to concentrate and make an excellent film. Just know your lines backwards. Listen to our admirable director, and
become
the character you’re playing.
Live
the role. I’ll see you on the set.’

Just like that, he was dismissed.

As the young actor left her dressing room, Clarissa reached for a thermos of vegetable juice and poured herself a small glass of the nourishing liquid. She sipped it thoughtfully. Interaction with her fellow actors, that’s what real theatre was all about. Making love to the young man had put him at ease, given him the confidence he would need for the difficult role. He would no longer be in awe of her – Clarissa Browning – Oscar-winning actress. He would see her as a passionate woman – flesh and blood – and react accordingly! This was very important, although some people would think she was mad if she confided that she always made love to her on-screen lovers. It worked – and she had an Oscar to prove it.

Jack Python would throw a fit if he ever found out. Macho chauvinist. All-male stud. Did he honestly believe she didn’t know about his little dalliances?

She laughed quietly to herself. Jack Python – the man with the wandering cock…

Ah well… as long as it didn’t wander
too
far. Right now it suited her to have Jack as her permanent lover. Who knew what the future held…

* * *

‘I got a friggin’ heart palpitation yesterday,’ Howard Soloman announced with a grim expression.

‘What?’ Jack wasn’t quite sure he’d heard correctly.

‘My friggin’ heart,’ Howard continued in outraged tones, ‘started bouncin’ around like a ping-pong ball.’

Jack had long ago decided Howard was a hypochondriac. He changed the subject. ‘Where’s Mannon?’ he asked. ‘Is he coming?’

‘Mannon would come every day of his life if he could,’ Howard said slyly.

‘We all know that,’ Jack agreed.

Mannon Cable – movie star, director, producer, hot property (in Hollywood when you’re hot you’re hot, when you’re not you may as well be dead) – made his entrance. As with Jack before him, every pair of eyes swivelled to get a better look. In fact Mannon actually stopped conversation. He was handsome. If you threw Clint Eastwood, Burt Reynolds and Paul Newman into a blender, you would come up with Mannon Cable. His eyes were cobalt blue; his skin sunkissed to a sexy leather brown; his hair a dark, dirty blond; his body powerful. Six feet four inches tall – ‘Every inch a winner,’ he would mock when he made frequent guest appearances on the Carson show.

He was forty-two years old – fit, fast, and right up there box-office-wise with Stallone and Eastwood. Mannon Cable was hitting a peak.

‘Hey – I’m one hungry sonofabitch,’ he said, sliding into the booth. He grinned. He had the
I am a big movie star
grin down pat. He also had a great set of caps (lost the shine on his originals when he laboured as a stunt man for a couple of years) which enabled him to grin from here to eternity without any trouble at all. ‘What are y’all eating?’

‘Eggs,’ replied Jack, stating the obvious.

‘Looks like a couple of fried tits to me,’ laughed Mannon.

‘Everything looks like tits to you,’ Jack replied. ‘You should see a shrink, you’ve got big problems.’

Mannon roared. ‘The only big problem I’ve got is my dick.
You
should have such problems.’ He signalled to the waiter and proceeded to order an enormous breakfast.

Jack stared at Mannon and Howard. Sometimes he wondered why the three of them remained friends. They were all so different now. And yet, whenever he got to thinking about it, he knew why. The truth was that they were brothers under the skin, sharing their pasts. They had made it to the top together, and nobody could split them up – although many a wife and girlfriend had tried.

Howard had gone through three wives, and was currently on his fourth, the curvaceous Poppy. He had children everywhere. Mannon was still carrying a torch for his first wife, Whitney, and the new one, Melanie-Shanna, had not yet killed the flame. Jack had Clarissa, although deep down he knew she wasn’t the right woman for him – a knowledge he refused to admit.

‘I’ve got a great idea,’ Mannon said suddenly. ‘Why don’t we fly down to Vegas next month? Just the three of us. We never get to see each other anymore. We could play the tables, raise hell, cause some trouble, just like old times. Whaddya say?’

‘Without the wives?’ Howard asked hopefully.

‘You bet your
cojones
without the wives,’ Mannon said quickly. ‘We’ll drop ’em off at Neiman’s – they’ll never even notice we’re gone.’

Mugging excitedly, Howard said, ‘I like the idea,’ forgetting that Poppy would singe his balls if he tried to go away without her. This one was a clinger, as opposed to the other three before her, who were strictly takers.

‘How about it, Jack?’ Mannon looked at his friend expectantly.

Jack had promised Clarissa a week in New York. Long walks through the Village. Off-Broadway theatre. Never-ending dinners with her strange, broke friends. Guess who would pick up the bill?

He hated walking, only liked movies, and her so-called friends were a pain in the ass.

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Set it up. Work permitting, you can definitely include me in.’

Chapter Two

Jade Johnson was totally addicted to Bruce Springsteen. She had no desire to meet him, just lust from afar like a mildly randy fourteen-year-old. She put
Born in the U.S.A.
on her stereo and danced around her new apartment.

Jade Johnson was twenty-nine years old. She had shoulder-length shaggy copper hair, gold-flecked widely spaced brown eyes, a full and luscious mouth, and a strong square jaw which saved her from being merely beautiful, and made her face challenging and alert.

She was five feet ten inches tall, one hundred and thirty pounds, with very long legs, a lithe, supple body, broad shoulders, and an incredible swan-like neck.

Apart from being kind-hearted and a good friend when the need arose, she had an acerbic wit and a wild sense of humour. She was also smart, independent, and one of the highest-paid photographic and commercial models in the world.

The doorbell rang and she rushed to answer it, clad in blue jeans and an oversized sweatshirt.

It was the foreman of the delivery crew who had just stacked fifteen large packing cases in her hallway. ‘That’s it, lady,’ he said, handing her a slip to sign. ‘All present an’ correct. I hope you’re satisfied.’