Holly Lane (30 page)

“I . . . I know that. But the timing . . . ”

“Sucks a little, yeah. Or maybe it’s actually perfect. Whatever—doesn’t matter. I just think it’s too precious and valuable a thing to pass up over something like fear. And besides, if you love him—” She stopped then. “Do you? Love him?”

Sue Ann’s chest tightened with her gasp. What a question. “I—I don’t know.”

“Well, the thing is, even I, with my limited experience, know that if you do love him, you can’t stop just because you want to. Love doesn’t work that way. It’s not that easy.”

O
ther than a few years between high school and adulthood when he’d thought he was too cool, Adam had attended the annual Destiny Christmas party at town hall without fail. Besides being a nice way to catch up with everyone in the community after the busy holiday season, it was usually just a damn good time.

Of course, it was snowing for this year’s party. Again. “For God’s sake,” he muttered, looking skyward as he stepped out of the house heading for his truck. A few new inches had fallen throughout the day and the weatherman had reported that it would keep right on coming until daybreak. He’d never seen so much snow in December in his entire life.

But he tried to remember that people loved a white Christmas and that some considered Christmas snow more of a magical thing than a nuisance. His boys, to name two. He’d talked to Jacob and Joey earlier and they’d convinced their mom to let them go sledding in lieu of sitting around with her extended family all afternoon. And a part of him was definitely wishing he could be there with them, playing in the snow—but lately he’d come to accept that this was just a condition of his life now. He wouldn’t always have every moment with his sons that he wanted. Which simply meant he had to make the time he did have count. And overall, he was just glad they were home. They wouldn’t be at the party tonight, but he’d pick them up tomorrow for a couple of days, and he’d have them again over New Year’s.

As for now, dealing with the snow in practical ways meant a lot of people were having a hard time getting to the party tonight, but everyone with four-wheel-drive vehicles was pitching in to help out—including him. Currently he was on his way to pick up not only Edna Farris, but also “a slew of apple pies,” she’d told him on the phone an hour ago. “Get me there in one piece and there’s a whole pie with your name on it.”

Given how good Edna’s apple pies were, he’d said, “Now that’s an offer I can’t refuse.”

After that, he’d make another trip out to transport Willie Hargis, Grampy Hoskins, and anybody else who called needing a ride by then.

And as he turned on his windshield wipers to battle the snow, falling in thick, heavy flakes, he realized that a week or two ago, calls asking him for help would have had him growling and snarling his way into Grinchville—which must mean he’d truly, finally, shaken that off now, thank God. Because he was happy to help, happy he
could
help.

Part of that, of course, was because his kids were home and Christmas had turned out pretty damn nice after all. And part of it, too, had to do with this morning, with delivering that reindeer to Sophie. The truth was, it had been a hellacious amount of work and he’d been just as exhausted and cold as Sue Ann had suspected. But he hadn’t minded a bit, especially when he’d seen the look on Sophie’s face. And also the look on Sue Ann’s.

It had been truly gratifying to make Sophie’s Christmas special.

And . . . illuminating to realize how much Sue Ann still wanted him.

She hadn’t said that, but she hadn’t needed to. Somehow, even despite the facts that she’d been in a bathrobe with her hair pointing all over the place and that he’d been unable to feel his fingers by then . . . the expression on her face had warmed him inside and made him realize he wasn’t alone in his feelings here, he wasn’t the only one suffering. And yeah, he’d understood that before, but given that the last time he’d seen her she’d been throwing him out of her house, maybe he’d forgotten. Maybe he’d forgotten just how sexy and sweet she could look when she felt that invisible pull between them. Maybe he’d forgotten the caring went both ways.

Yet now he remembered. And he still hadn’t had any strange dreams today as he’d slept off his reindeer-related exhaustion, instead waking up feeling . . . happy.

He wasn’t sure why. He still didn’t have the girl he was pining for, after all. But maybe . . . well, maybe something had happened inside him that he hadn’t expected.

Over the last few days, people had forgiven him for being a first-class jerk this month. And without quite realizing it until today, somehow, at the same time, he thought
he’d
finally forgiven himself, too. But not for his Scroogy attitude. For what he’d done at that wedding.

God knew he’d been carrying the weight of it for a while now—three long years. And through everything that had happened over the last few weeks, he realized he was at last ready to stop mentally beating himself up for it. And that—along with all the other good tidings of the last few days, including a call to Jeff’s lawyer today that he thought might allay some of Sue Ann’s fears about his testimony—was indeed enough to make him a happy guy on this snowy Christmas night.

All of which made him cautiously begin to wonder if maybe, just maybe, it was possible for Sue Ann to forgive him, too.

Could be that he was a glutton for punishment, but he’d realized he still wasn’t quite ready to take no for an answer from her. The emotion in her eyes this morning had reminded him how much there was between them, and that it was just too damn precious to let go.

She didn’t think she was ready to trust him? Understandable.

But he’d just have to change her mind.

Tonight.

Twenty-one

As to her, she was worthy to be his partner in every sense of the term.

Charles Dickens,
A Christmas Carol

W
hen Adam hung up his coat and stepped into the party, Bryan Adams’ version of “Run, Run Rudolph” rocked through the large town hall meeting room. The place was aglow with white mini-lights and filled with Destiny residents celebrating the holiday. Long tables overflowed with both new dishes and leftovers from celebrations at home: cookies and candies and fudge, stuffing and cranberries and mashed potatoes. Chief Tolliver stood carving a turkey Jenny had baked for the occasion, and Adam even spotted a couple of fruitcakes people had undoubtedly received as gifts and were hoping to rid themselves of here.

Little kids danced around a twinkling Christmas tree near the wide front windows, where snow could be seen falling outside. Ladies mingled and admired each other’s holiday fashions while men stood around drinking beer and slapping each other on the back, many of them clearly uncomfortable in new sweaters they’d gotten just today. He spotted Tyler Fleet kissing Cara Collins under a sprig of mistletoe that hung from a light fixture.

Everything was as it should be on this snowy Destiny night, and taking it all in gave him a warm feeling.

Except . . . well, okay, not
everything
was as it should be. The night wasn’t perfect. Yet. But he’d be working on changing that, with Sue Ann, very soon.

As he grabbed a festive paper plate and began to load it with food, Mike and Rachel meandered up. “Thanks for bringing my grandma, Adam,” Rachel said. “We’d have done it ourselves, of course, but we had to pick up half the Romo population in the county.”

After plopping a helping of potatoes onto his plate and returning the spoon to the bowl, he smiled and told her, “Happy to help, and Edna’s even sending a pie home with me for my trouble.”

Mike joined the conversation by giving his head a small shake and saying, “Damn, I’m glad you’re back to normal, dude. I couldn’t handle you walking around—”

“Acting like you?” Rachel cut him off.

“Something like that,” Mike said on a sigh. “One of me’s enough.”

Adam only laughed, adding, “I couldn’t agree more.”

As the two went on their way, looking for Edna, Adam continued filling his plate, hungry since he’d slept through lunch, but at the same time he kept an eye out for Sue Ann and Sophie. Not just because he wanted to take another shot at romance with Sue Ann—and also tell her his new news about the alimony hearing—but because he was planning one more special thing for Sophie, too, one more Christmas surprise. He’d hoped to pick them up for the party as well, but he’d found out from Mike on the phone earlier that Jenny and Mick were already giving them a ride. And they still hadn’t arrived when he took a seat with Mike, Rachel, and Logan to eat his dinner.

Before long, the CD player was turned off and people gathered around the piano in the corner of the room to sing carols while Caroline Meeks played. “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” rang out through the air when Adam looked up to see Sue Ann and Sophie step in from the cold, Jenny and Mick on their heels. His eyes met Sue Ann’s across the room even as she began to untwine the scarf around her neck, and he experienced that all too familiar tugging sensation inside him that stretched all the way from his heart to his groin. Damn, she made him feel everything. Everything tender and sweet. Everything hot and sexy, too.

He had to battle the urge to go bolting from his seat to go see her.
Be cool, dude.
Not only because he didn’t want to overwhelm her the second she walked in the door, but also because—just like when he and Sheila had broken up—he wasn’t particularly open about spreading personal news, and he still figured Sue Ann didn’t want the whole town tuned in to their romance, either. He understood now that Sue Ann’s divorce had taught her the value of keeping private things private.

So he calmly finished his meal, even though he stayed completely aware of where she was in the room at every second, in a way that made him feel all of sixteen. But that part he didn’t fight. There was something surprisingly exhilarating about experiencing that sensation again for the first time in a long while.

A few minutes later, he stood up and headed to the kitchen to discard his plate, and when he turned around, Sue Ann stood before him in a sparkly white sweater along with dark jeans and boots. She looked warm and wintry, and he suffered the sudden urge to curl up next to her under an afghan, in front of a fireplace.

“Hey,” he said, offering up a small grin, and not trying to hide anything that might be showing in his eyes, like that he was still completely into her.

“Hey,” she said. Her blond hair was drawn back from her face, giving him a clear view of her pretty brown eyes and berry-colored lips, her cheeks still a bit pink from the cold.

They both started talking at once then, after which they both stopped, and Adam said, “You first.”

“Well, I just wanted to thank you again. For making Sophie’s Christmas so perfect. She got home from Jeff’s a little while ago and she still can’t stop talking about the reindeer. You took what could have been a heartbreaking Christmas for her and made it the most special ever.” And then she leaned in and hugged him. Not a long hug, not a passionate hug, yet enough of a hug that the warmth of it moved all through him and he wanted more when it ended.

Huh. Maybe winning her over wasn’t going to be as hard as he thought. Maybe he’d won her over with the reindeer. That hadn’t been his goal, but if it was enough to make her decide to give him another chance, he’d take it.

“I’m just glad I could do it,” he told her. “And I’m glad it took Sophie’s mind off her troubles.”

“And . . . the ornament. In my stocking. Where on earth did you find it?”

He shrugged, offered a small grin. “EBay. Is it the right one? I thought it looked right, but . . . ”

She nodded. “Identical. Pretty amazing. And it’s nice to have it back on the tree again.”

“Um, listen, I wanted to tell you about something I did this afternoon, a phone call I made—”

And just then, Edna stepped up to say, “Sue Ann, your little girl claims you had a reindeer at your house this mornin’ and that you got the pictures to prove it. Now, a regular deer, yep, that I can buy, but I’m gonna have to see it to believe Santa Claus dropped off a reindeer in your yard.”

Clearly distracted by Edna, Sue Ann smiled at the old woman and said, “It’s true. It was a real reindeer. And it just so happens my digital camera is in my purse, so I can show you right now.”

And then Edna had Sue Ann by the arm, whisking her away, and Sue Ann waved to him as she was dragged off.

Damn it, Edna—what timing.
Yet he held back the small growl of frustration he wanted to let out, because it would take more than this to kill his renewed Christmas spirit—or his plan. And as the carolers burst into “Up on the Housetop,” Adam decided it was time to give Sophie her next surprise—and hope like hell Sue Ann would be okay with it. It was probably a little presumptuous of him, but when he’d called Amy to ask her opinion while on his way to pick up passengers for the party, she’d claimed she had insider information that made her think it was a great idea.

Spotting her now, talking with Tessa Sheridan and Lucky Romo near the Christmas tree, he motioned her over and she broke away to head in his direction. “What’s up?” she asked with her usual friendly smile.

“I’m ready to put Operation Dickens into action,” he said.

“H
eard about Sophie’s special Christmas present.”

Sue Ann turned away from her current conversation with Lettie Gale and LeeAnn Turner to find her beloved mother standing before her grinning like a Cheshire cat. “And I heard
you
were sneaking around my house in the middle of the night,” Sue Ann said pointedly. “That’s not like you.” Her mom didn’t have a sneaky bone in her body. Or at least Sue Ann hadn’t thought so.

“Well, I didn’t want to spoil Adam’s surprise.”

“It was for Sophie, not me. The both of you could have filled me in.”

“Part of it was for you, too,” her mother said knowingly, and of course Sue Ann was well aware of that, but she’d been trying to be practical and not think about that aspect of things.

Now, she couldn’t even summon a reply for her mother.

But apparently she didn’t have to, since her mom kept going. “Adam’s a good man,” she said.

Oh boy, here we go.
“I know he is,” she replied dryly.

“And though he never exactly said so, I think it’s very clear that he’s quite taken with you.”

Why did that make Sue Ann’s breath catch? Perhaps because it hadn’t been said out loud too many times? Maybe that made it feel more real. “Mom,” she finally said, “it’s just . . . awfully soon, you know?”

And to her surprise, her usually conservative, cautious mother just shrugged. “We can’t always pick when things happen, dear. Sometimes we just have to go with the flow.”

It sounded to her like an abbreviated version of the lecture Amy had given her today. And maybe this was the universe’s way of trying to tell her something.

But she just wasn’t sure she was ready to hear it.

In fact, she was starting to get tired of everyone pushing her toward Adam. First Jenny, then Amy, now even her own mom? She was tired of feeling so torn, so pulled apart over it. She’d made the decision to part ways with him that night in front of the fireplace. And reindeer or not, ornament or not . . . none of it was enough to make her believe she should give her heart to someone again this soon. Even Adam. Maybe especially Adam.

Because it had turned out he was pretty damn wonderful. Except for the fact that he’d already managed to hurt her. And she’d already had enough of wonderful men who ended up hurting her. Maybe she should just be thankful Adam had done it so quickly.

T
en minutes after sneaking away from the party, Adam and Amy left Under the Covers, Amy turning out the lights and locking up behind her. Adam carried Dickens in his coat pocket to keep him warm, and despite Amy’s warnings that he was full of mischief, the kitten seemed fairly content there, at least so far. Together, they made the return trip across the Destiny town square in the falling snow and back into the bustling party.

All he’d told Amy was that he wanted to make Sophie’s Christmas complete by giving her the kitten and that he hoped he could win Sue Ann over to the idea. Seeing how happy the visit from “Dancer” had made Sophie had reminded him how attached his boys had gotten to Pepper, and that having a pet to love and focus on during the divorce had been a source of comfort to them. And he thought maybe after this morning, Sue Ann would see the logic in that, too.

Of course, that wasn’t his
whole
plan. First, he would fill her in on his talk with Jeff’s attorney today, who’d fortunately agreed to take his call on a holiday. And then . . . he was going to tell Sue Ann he was in love with her, and that he was sorry, and then just hope like hell she’d be willing to look past his mistake. He was just gonna go for it. Because he had to. Because his soul was telling him to. And the thing was—his soul hadn’t told him to do too many things in life; he wasn’t a guy who often sat around thinking about his soul, let alone feeling it. But it was driving him to do
this,
and surely that meant something.

As he and Amy were about to part ways, she whispered, “Good luck,” and he scanned the room.

He found Sophie playing with some other kids near the Christmas tree, and Sue Ann stood chatting with Jenny and Tessa—but as luck would have it, she started walking away from her friends then, toward the bathroom.

Reaching down to pull his pocket open and glance inside, he said to the gray kitten hiding there, “Get ready, we’re on. We play this right and you get a new home and I get a new girl.”

“Meow,” the cat said in return, and Adam let go of his pocket and strode ahead, boldly meeting up with Sue Ann—even blocking her path.

“Hey,” he said, “do you have a minute?”

She looked slightly taken aback, but stopped. “Um, sure. What’s up?”

Okay, this was it. Even in the busy room, they stood relatively alone. And it suddenly hit him that maybe he should have figured out what he was going to say, since he didn’t have a clue—but a lot of good things had happened naturally with Sue Ann, without a plan, so maybe this part should, too. No masks, no disguises, just being real.

“Okay, first things first. Today I called Jeff’s lawyer. And I explained to him that Jeff and I aren’t all that close anymore and that I wasn’t particularly in favor of his petition and that my testimony might ultimately do more to hurt his case than help it. And magically enough, he thanked me for filling him in and decided not to subpoena me after all.”

He watched as her jaw dropped, her eyes growing large and round. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Oh Adam, that’s great. Thank you! Wow—I can’t believe it was that simple.”

“Me neither. But I got to thinking about it, and since all that’s true, I figured filling the guy in might change his tune, and it did. I’m just sorry I didn’t think of it before now. But I think I felt extra motivated after seeing you this morning.”