HOLIDAY ROYALE (15 page)

And then he turned and walked away from her, leaving her standing there staring after him in disbelief.

Chapter Eleven

D
amien stepped onto the elevator and turned to find Lucy right behind him.

“Oh, no you don’t.” She got on beside him.

He gave her his weariest glance. “It’s late.”

“Oh, stop. It’s barely midnight.” She reached over and pushed the button for his floor. The doors closed.

He longed to punch the button to open them again. But then what? Scoop her up and carry her bodily back to her door?

And what if she still refused to stay put?

And all right, yes. He was being a jerk. He knew it. He just didn’t want to talk about Susie. Leaving Lucy at her door had seemed a way to avoid an uncomfortable conversation.

So much for that.

He maintained absolute silence for the short ride up. Lucy did, too, just as she had during the drive from the party. He found her silence both annoying and unnerving. After all, Lucy was
never
quiet. He’d always thought her incapable of keeping her mouth shut for long.

Apparently, he’d got that wrong.

When the elevator stopped, Quentin exited first. He and Lucy followed, side by side but not touching. Quentin dealt with the alarm, opened the door and went in ahead.

“Thank you, Quentin. That’s all for the night.”

The bodyguard mounted the stairs for his room above. Damien shut and locked the door.

Lucy set her bag on the entry table and unbuttoned her coat. He took it and hung it, along with his, in the closet by the door. Her dress that night was snug and black, with a lace top that dipped low in back to a V shape. She looked unbearably sweet in it, good enough to eat.

He wanted to kiss her, to run his finger down her back, tracing that V. He wanted to take her straight to bed. However, her level gaze and set expression told him clearly that lovemaking wasn’t happening anytime soon.

Then again, maybe he’d get lucky and she’d let him change her mind.

He did what he wanted to do, stepping in close, touching his finger to the nape of her neck, trailing it out along her shoulder to the outer edge of the V. Her skin seemed to beckon him. He needed his mouth on her.

So he took what he needed, kissing the tempting spot where the lace started at the curve of her shoulder while continuing the slow caress with the tip of his finger down to the middle of her smooth back.

She sighed. For a moment, he thought she would melt into his arms.

But then she drew herself up and turned to face him. Her eyes challenged him. “Make me some cocoa, please, Dami.”

“Cocoa.” He arched a brow, made his expression one of boredom and complete disinterest.

She wasn’t buying. “That’s what I said. Cocoa, please.”

With a curt nod and no expression, he signaled her ahead of him into the kitchen area. She took one of the tall chairs at the peninsula and leaned her chin on her fist as he went through the process of heating the milk and chopping the chocolate.

He thought how he should send her back to her apartment now. He should end this foolishness tonight before it went any further. She was too good, too sweet, too innocent for him. He should tell her he’d been wrong to come here, that he was leaving in the morning.

And then he should check into a hotel, go to those damned meetings Monday and Tuesday and then fly back to Montedoro where he belonged.

As he chopped and stirred, he kept expecting her to start asking him questions.

But again she surprised him. She held her peace until he put the steaming cup in front of her. Then she sipped and said, “So good. Thank you.” She set the cup down. “Tell me about Susie.”

“That’s a bad idea.”

“Tell me anyway.”

He poured himself a cup and took the chair beside her. “You won’t like it.”

“Maybe not. But I want to know.”

“What, exactly, do you want to know?”

She studied his face for several seconds. He endured that scrutiny. And then she asked, “How do you know her?”

“You’re serious? You actually want to hear about Susie?”

“Didn’t I just say so?”

“Luce. I’ve had conversations like this one with women before. They never go well.”

She tipped her head to the side, considering. Then she simply tried again. “I am not
blaming
you. I am not looking for some way to make you the bad guy. I’m only trying to understand who Susie is to you.”

“Why do you need to understand that?”

“Because you were going to leave me at my door and walk away in order not to have to talk about it.” Damn. Was he that obvious? Apparently, he was. To her. She said, “So I think we need to clear that crap up right now. Tell me about Susie.”

“There’s nothing to tell. I hardly know her.”

“Then this won’t take long at all, will it?”

He opened his mouth to give her more evasions—and somehow the simple truth fell out. “I met her at a party very much like the one tonight. It was about three years ago. Here in New York. I think it was in SoHo. She had a girlfriend with her....”

Lucy had her chin on her hand again. “So it was the three of you?”

“That’s right. The girlfriend had a loft a few blocks from the party. I spent the night there with them. And the next time I came to New York, I called Susie. There was another girlfriend that time.”

“Is that...something you enjoy, Dami? Being with two women at once?”

He felt pinned, grilled. He struck back. “Why? Would you like to try it?”

She picked up her cup again. “I don’t think so.” Very carefully, she sipped and with equal care set the cup down. And then her sweet mouth trembled. She pressed her lips together to make the trembling stop and asked him hesitantly, “Do I...have this all wrong?”

“What are you talking about?” He growled the words.

Her gaze roamed his face as though seeking a point of entry. A small pained sound escaped her. Finally, she asked, “I mean, should I have let you go, stayed downstairs when you tried to get rid of me?”

All he had to do was say yes—and she would leave him, stop pushing him for answers to uncomfortable questions. But the lie stuck in his throat. “Why didn’t you?”

“I told you. It seemed like we really needed to talk this through, so I kept after you. But now... Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to follow you up here. You seem so angry, so defensive. Maybe I’m just butting in where I’m not wanted. Do you want me to go?” She waited for him to speak. When he didn’t, she said, “All right, then. I can take a hint.” Shifting away, she started to slide down from the chair.

He couldn’t bear it. He caught her shoulder. “No.” It came out ragged sounding. Raw. “I don’t want you to go.”

She turned to him again, so many questions in her eyes. “Dami...” She said his name so softly. With tenderness.

He let go of her, knowing he didn’t deserve her tenderness. “What?” he asked, low and gruff.

“I’m not judging you.” She touched the back of his hand—and too quickly withdrew. He wanted to grab her wrist, to hold on. But he did no such thing. She said, “I promise you, I am, truly, your friend first of all. I don’t want you to be anyone but exactly who you are.”

He didn’t believe her. “You say that now.”

“Because it’s the truth. I’m not judging you, but I do want to...understand. I want to understand
you,
Dami.”

He felt outclassed. Overmatched. By a homeschooled twenty-three-year-old who’d been a virgin until two weeks ago. He gritted his teeth and confessed, “I’ve tried a lot of things you might not approve of.”

She didn’t look the least surprised. “I only wanted to know about Susie because of what happened tonight. For the rest of it, well, Dami, it’s your life. I’m happy for whatever you want to share with me, but I really don’t need to hear about every single sexual encounter.”

“Good.”

But she wasn’t done yet. “As long as they were with other consenting adults.”

He nodded. “They were.”

“And no one was injured.”

He almost smiled. “No one.”

“And, well, now we’re on this subject, there’s something I should have asked you before, in Montedoro at Thanksgiving, but I was too nervous and afraid I might scare you off and not really planning ahead...”

“Luce.”

“Hmm?”

“Go ahead. Ask.”

“Do you— Have you always practiced safe sex?”

“Always.”

She looked into her cup and then back up at him. “Well. Okay, then.” She started to speak—and then didn’t.

He commanded, “Tell me. Just say it.”

“I... Well, I do care that while you’re with me, you’re
only
with me. I’m just kind of old-fashioned that way.”

The unreality of it—of Lucy as his lover—struck him anew. Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined himself having this conversation with her. At the same time, after last night and the nights in Montedoro, he couldn’t imagine ever wanting anyone
but
her. Which was pure insanity. It might feel stronger with her,
better
somehow. But it was simple sexual attraction and that never lasted. It ran its course and faded, like cut flowers in a crystal vase, like a stubborn head cold.

She spoke again. “If you can’t do that, can’t agree to be exclusively with me, well, that
is
a deal breaker for me.”

He had zero need to think it over. “Of course I can do that.” For as long as it lasted, she’d said—which as of now was only until Wednesday or Thursday. And that was yet another absurdity. He couldn’t imagine leaving her so soon.

And who did he think he was fooling, anyway? He shouldn’t even be here. It would have been better for both of them if he hadn’t shown up on her doorstep yesterday, better if he’d never let this thing with them get started....

“Dami, are you
sure?
”

He didn’t flinch, but he wanted to. The question itself was bad enough. Did she have to ask twice? He wanted to be insulted, to lay on the irony:
Well, I might have to grab a quickie with a stranger between meetings on Monday. A man has needs after all.

But he looked in her eyes and all he saw was sincerity. She was an inexperienced, truehearted woman involved with a man who had no idea how many women he’d had in his bed. Of course she worried that he couldn’t be faithful.

So he answered her honestly. “I am sure, yes. Absolutely.” He wanted to touch her, to reach for her and draw her close. But that seemed wrong somehow and unfair. He reassured her further. “Until you, I hadn’t been with anyone in a while.” Not since the last time with V, in August, which had ended in another of her big scenes. “And while we’re together, that’ll be it. There won’t be anyone but you. I promise you that.”

She put her hand on his sleeve then. That simple touch hit him deep. It was better by far than any threesome. “I’m so glad.”

“It’s no hardship. None at all.”

She squeezed his arm. “I know you think I’m innocent.”

He caught her hand, brought it to his lips. “Because you
are.
”

“No.”

He kissed the tips of her fingers one by one. “Yes.”

She shook her head. “No. Okay, it’s true that I haven’t had much experience with men. And I like to keep a positive attitude. But still, I’m not innocent, not really. I know what life is. I’ve been up close and way too personal with death. My dad was dead before I was even born. And my mom...she wasn’t right. You know what you said about the powerful love your parents have? Well, my mom loved my dad that way. She never got over that he died. And we lived in this tiny, run-down place and I was always sick and there wasn’t any money and Noah wasn’t anything like he is today. He was out of control back then, drinking and fighting all the time. And then when I was nine, Mom got sick and
she
died....”

He reminded her gently, “Luce, I know all this.”

“I know you do. But what I’m getting at is, when Mom died, I made up my mind that I would be happy no matter what, that whatever suffering or heartache I had to endure, I would focus on the good things. I wouldn’t let the losses and the hurts drag me down. I promised myself that I would keep a good attitude. It was not a decision made in innocence. I might have been only nine at the time, but believe me, when my mom died, I hadn’t been innocent for years.”

He dared to touch her sweet face at last, to trace the graceful arch of each brow, to trail his fingers down her cheek. She made a small questioning sound. And he said, “All right. Not innocent. Good. You are good, good to the deepest part of you. I’m not.”

She held his eyes. “Yes, you are.” And she laughed a little. “You are very good, I promise you. You are also curious and adventurous and I know you’ve been wild. So what? I find you generous and helpful, brilliant and fun. Not to mention a truly epic lover.”

That did make him smile. “Epic, am I?”

“Legendary. No doubt.”

He went ahead and wrapped his fingers around the back of her neck and drew her close enough that he could breathe in the scent of her. “You’re just saying that to get me to have sex with you.”

She rubbed her soft cheek to his rough one. “Is it working?”

“Truth?”

“Please.”

“You had me in the entry when you took off your coat.”

A smile bloomed full at last. “Apparently, I’m good in more ways than one.”

“And a quick learner, too.” He claimed her mouth in a kiss that started out sweet but swiftly turned steamy.

When he let her go, she picked up her cup again and drank the rest. And then she said, “Also, don’t forget, I lived in my brother’s house for eleven years. And Noah was never a saint. I may not have
done
things until I did them with you, but I know what goes on.”

“Noah would hate that you saw more than you should have. His whole life has been about protecting you.”

“Dami, get real. Noah likes women. I’m sure you can relate to that.”

“Too well, I’m afraid.”

“Okay, then. I’m not blind. I saw what was happening. Until Alice, Noah would not give his heart. He didn’t want anything permanent and neither did most of the women he hooked up with. And none of that has anything to do with whether or not he protected me. He did protect me. He took excellent care of me and he kept me alive against all odds. That’s what matters—and why are you scowling at me?”