Holiday History (3 page)

“No. But I have a feeling if I do what I want to do, I might regret it.”

“If you don’t do it, you’ll never know.”

Everything inside me wanted to kiss him, to wrap my arms around him. But something stopped me. Luckily for me, I did. I heard Tim’s car door thud shut behind us, and Gary reluctantly stepped away from me. He walked out of the room and upstairs as Tim barreled into the house and told me all about how the dog ate an entire chocolate cake.

*  *  *

Things
got back to normal with Gary. Neither of us mentioned what happened in the kitchen, or more importantly, what didn’t happen. The rest of the week, I spent every spare moment talking to Gary. As we finished with each room, he would bring the furniture back in. I took advantage of Tim’s continued jolliness and talked Gary’s ear off about books, sailing, and teaching. We had more in common than I ever could have imagined, right down to the wealthy family. Of course, his family hadn’t imploded, but the way he grew up was the same. I was just finishing the last coat of paint in the master bedroom when Gary walked by, carrying a chair.

“Hey, it looks great in here.”

“Thanks, Gary.”

“I hope my family appreciates it.”

“When are they getting here?”

“Day after tomorrow. It’s hard to believe that Christmas is almost here.”

“Yeah.”

I couldn’t muster much excitement about the holidays, even for Gary’s sake. He set the chair down in the hall and walked into the room.

“So what are you doing for the holidays, Kevin?” His voice echoed off the walls. I searched for an answer, but I didn’t have one.

“Nothing, really. I don’t see my family much anymore. Last year I went to a friend’s house, but he’s out of the country this year. I’ll probably weasel my way into Tim’s Christmas party, just for the free food. His wife, Margie, takes pity on me this time of year.”

“But basically, you’re alone?”

“Yeah. I guess so.”

His eyes had a familiar look to them. It made my guts churn to see pity coming from Gary. He moved closer to me, but I didn’t want him to touch me.

“Kevin, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m fine with it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Sure I’m sure. Look, Gary, I’m glad your family cares so much about you. But I’m not you. I don’t have that.”

“You know, you don’t have to be alone. You could come here.”

“I’m sure your family would love that. Dinner with the kid who painted your house. The college dropout who you barely know. Right.”

“Maybe I want to get to know you.”

“Why? I don’t need your pity.”

“It has nothing to do with pity. Maybe it’s because I was attracted to you the first moment I saw you. And then you opened your mouth and you were funny and sarcastic and you love history enough to sneak into my office and read a book about fucking Captain Cook. You seem great, Kevin. I’m just asking for a chance.”

I turned and looked out the bay window. The lake was calm and still, the grey water freezing around the edges. I nearly jumped when I felt Gary touch my shoulder. He turned me around, his eyes forcing me to look back.

“Kevin, did you want to kiss me in the kitchen?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Tim came in.”

“Is that the only reason?”

I wanted to lie, but I couldn’t. “No. I was scared.”

“Of what?”

“Look, Gary. I’m a house painter. No matter what I
want
to be, this is what I am. You are a smart, successful guy. I can’t offer you anything. I’m nobody you want to be with.”

“That’s not true. You make me laugh. And it just so happens that I find paint-splattered hair very sexy.”

“Gary, come on.”

Before I could say another word or think another thing, he pulled me to him and kissed me. I opened my mouth to his tongue; my hands clutched at his back. It was better than I had imagined, but something in my brain was yelling for me to stop. As good as it felt, my fears hadn’t diminished. His hands on my neck only scared me more. With every ounce of strength I could muster, I gently pushed Gary away.

“Kevin, what’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this, Gary. I’m sorry, but, I’m not what you’re looking for.”

“Don’t tell me how I feel.”

“I’m not. I’m telling you how I feel.”

“Don’t push me away, Kevin.”

“I’m not. Tim and I are done, and I’ve gotta get going. I hope you have a great time with your family.”

He stood there watching me collect my supplies, not saying a word. With everything in my hands, we stood and looked at each other. I didn’t have anything to say. Gary took care of that for both of us.

“Happy holidays, Kevin.”

He walked out of the room, and I heard his office door close. Gathering up the last of our stuff, I walked slowly down the hall. I stopped outside the office door, thinking for a moment about knocking. But I knew in my head I was doing the right thing. I loaded up the truck and pulled out into the fast-falling snow. At least Tim would be happy. I didn’t fuck anything up.

*  *  *

Christmas
Eve
dawned freezing and sunny, and I rolled over and hid my eyes from the glare coming through my threadbare curtains. Tim had called the night I left Gary’s, commending me for finishing on time and not making him look stupid. As I suspected, he invited me over for Christmas. I didn’t commit, but I knew I’d end up there. My fridge was basically empty, and my holiday spirit was in short supply.

The snow was really falling by the time night fell. I said a silent prayer for my Chinese delivery guy, who managed to get through the mess before closing for the night. I ordered enough food to get me through until the world came back to life after Christmas. As I dug my chopsticks into the noodles and stared mindlessly at the television, I tried to shove the thoughts of Gary away with another swig of beer, but it wasn’t working.

A knock on the door startled me. The building was ghostly quiet; most of the people who lived there had gone home for the holidays. Thinking it was my crazy neighbor, I pulled open the door without looking through the peephole. I could barely believe my eyes when I saw Gary standing in my doorway, covered in snow.

“Hi, Kevin. Can I come in?”

“Um, sure.”

I watched in disbelief as he shook off and removed his slush-covered shoes. I couldn’t think of a thing to say. I just stared. Finally, he walked over to my crappy couch and sat down. It only took him four steps to cross my whole apartment.

“You have a beer for me?”

I pulled open the refrigerator, grabbed a beer from the pack, and handed it to him, not sitting down beside him. Gary opened it, drinking three long swallows before setting it on my plywood coffee table.

“You’re probably wondering why I’m here.”

“I’m wondering how you found me.”

“Tim. I called and he told me where you live.”

“I figured you’d be busy tonight.”

“I couldn’t take being in that house another minute with everyone hovering. And I have something for you.”

“Shit, did we leave something behind? You could have called. I would have picked it up.”

“No, you didn’t leave anything. I have a present for you.”

“What?”

“I know you’re not a big fan, but I have a Christmas present for you. Sit down.”

Reluctantly, I moved next to him and sat down, careful not to touch him as I did. He set a wrapped box in front of me, every detail perfect.

“Open it.”

Tearing the paper, I pulled the lid of the box off and threw it aside. Inside, three books, all about naval history, looked back at me. They were titles I had never read before but had always wanted to.

“Gary, this is amazing. You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I know. I wanted to.”

“Well, I really appreciate it.”

“There’s more. Look inside the first book.”

Opening the book, I saw papers from a local college inside as well as an application and financial aid information. Gary laid a hand on my knee, almost making me jump. But I didn’t move.

“Gary, what is all this?”

“Kevin, you’re too young to give up on your dreams. I talked to some people at the school. They want to meet you.”

“You didn’t have to do this. I mean, it’s too much. All of it is too much. I told you I have nothing to give you in return.”

“I know what you said at the house, but you’re wrong. I don’t care how much money you have, or where you live, or what happened to you before. I just want to know you, to see if this thing between us is as real as it feels to me. All I want or need from you is a chance.”

“Gary, I—”

He interrupted me with a kiss, his hand resting heavily on the back of my neck. Instead of pulling away, I let him kiss me. More than that, I kissed Gary back. We parted, both panting and staring at each other. I ran my thumb over his bottom lip, unable to stop touching him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything for Christmas, Gary.”

“Oh, I could think of something you could give me.”

He pulled me up off the couch, leading me toward the tiny hallway that led to the bedroom.

“You sure about this, Gary?”

“I’ve been sure. Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Sorry it took me so long to get here.”

We discarded our clothing as quickly as we could, not taking the time to worry about where it landed. He pulled me onto my messy bed, ignoring the crappy furniture that dominated the room. We just lay kissing for long minutes, enjoying getting to know each other, touching each other everywhere we could reach. His mouth started to move down my body, heading towards my hard cock. But I stopped him.

“Gary, I haven’t been with anyone in a while.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be gentle with you.”

He ran his tongue down my torso, easing over my trembling stomach. His hands were in mine, our fingers twined together as he continued kissing my body. My boxers were still on, and Gary started to pull them slowly down my hips. I pinched my eyes shut, petrified of what he might think of my body. When I heard a tiny gasp escape his mouth, I looked down to see him admiring me, my cock hardening under his steely gaze.

 He smiled up at me, his face illuminated by the Christmas lights outside my window. His hands gripped my hips, his tongue slowly tracing the ridge of the glans, taking time to explore every part of me. I dug my head back into the pillow, moaning quietly as his mouth sealed around my cock.

 I twitched and jerked as he swept his tongue over the ridge under the head of my cock. His tongue swirled around me once, twice, before he slid his mouth all the way down. I could feel the blood racing under my skin and my muscles tightening as he sucked me off. My moans got louder, his name leaving my mouth over and over again. I pushed and pulled him, trying to move his mouth faster over me, but he kept up his painfully slow pace. Pulling himself up, our mouths were back together as he slid onto the bed next to me.

My hands started fumbling with the nightstand drawer next to us, searching for protection. In that moment, I hesitated. Gary just stared at me expectantly, his hand moving up and down his hard cock, waiting for me. I don’t know where I found the voice.

“You sure about this? This is your last chance to back out, Gary.”

“Not a chance, Kevin. I want you to make love to me. Please.”

I kissed him hard one last time before rolling him toward the wall, so his back was facing me. I let my hands run down his back, feeling the heat coming off his skin. I paused, letting my fingers wander over his hip, before reaching over to touch his cock. I moved my other hand down to his ass, my finger gently easing his cheeks apart. After I opened the lube, he gasped when he felt the cool wetness of my finger pressing against his ass. He tensed up, but I felt him relax as I planted kisses across his neck and back. I ran my teeth gently over his earlobe, pulling and sucking it into my mouth. At that moment, he let me inside, my finger gently pushing into his ass.

I was patient, not wanting to hurt Gary as I eased in and out of him.

“Is it okay if I use another finger?”

“Yeah, I want more. God, Kevin, you’re killing me.”

One finger became two, and slowly he relaxed into my thrusting fingers. I could hear his ragged breath, and I watched him push back against my hand.

“Fuck me, Kevin. I want you inside me.”

 Reluctantly, I pulled my fingers out of his ass and took my hand from his cock to grab the condom, tearing it with my teeth. He looked at me over his shoulder, watching me slide the latex over my hard cock. His lips curled into a smile before I leaned over to kiss him deeply.

I moaned into his mouth as he opened up to me, just the tip of my dick filling his ass. I stopped, his mouth releasing mine just in time to let a cry of pleasure come out. I pushed a little deeper, easing gently forward as Gary moaned my name this time. I gasped when the pressure gave way, and I slid all the way inside him. I couldn’t move. I just stayed still, enjoying the feeling of him wrapped around my cock.

“Gary, oh God, Gary. You feel so damn good.”

“So do you, Kevin.”

In those few moments before I started moving again, I felt myself grow inside Gary. Not wanting to wait another second, he eased away from me, my cock sliding easily inside him. I fucked him slow and hard, my hand stroking him in time to my thrusts. The feeling was so intense—nothing else could get through. My body pressed full against his back as I spooned behind him.

As I felt every inch of Gary’s body riding against me, I lost all control as my body start to tumble over the edge. I fucked him faster, and I felt his come shoot into my waiting hand, the hot sticky liquid filling my fist.

With a fierce series of thrusts, I came too, my cock squirming inside him as I bit into his neck.

Pulling away, I rolled onto my back, not sure of what to do next. Sex had never been so amazing. I closed my eyes, trying in vain to hold off the emotions that were bubbling to the surface. But I couldn’t. I turned to Gary, not knowing what to say. There didn’t seem to be any right words, anything profound enough to sum up what I was feeling. All I could do was kiss him. I could feel his heart pounding just like mine was. Gary broke the silence, killing the last bit of tension that lay between us.