Holding Her Hand (Reed Brothers Book 15) (17 page)

“
Yes
.” I almost wish I could say no, but I’d be lying. “
Are you afraid
?” I stare
into her eyes while I give her nipples gentle tugs with my fingertips, elongating them. Her mouth falls open.

“
I
’
m not afraid of you
,” she says. She closes her eyes for a moment and takes a breath. I can feel the rise and fall of her chest.

“I’m afraid of you,” I confess out loud.

She freezes. “
Why
?”

“
The others…they were nothing. What I feel for you… I can
’
t even describe it. I feel like I
’
m coming home after a long trip. Like this is where I was always meant to be
.”

“
Even though I
’
m hearing
?” she asks.

“
Yes
.” I nod at her. “
You
’
re you. I never realized you were missing. But you were. And now you
’
re here and I feel like I
’
ve come home. Is that stupid
?”

She laughs. “
No
.” She stares into my eyes. “
It
’
s perfect
.”

I kiss her belly and pop the button on her jeans, taking a minute
to run my hands over the scars on her belly. “
Can I kiss you down here
?”

She nods and helps me take off her jeans and panties, lifting her bottom before I slide them down her legs and over her feet. Her legs are slender like her arms, and there are more spatter scars from the hot oil accident. Her belly is bumpy from actual burns and skin grafts, and I take the time to run my hands all over it,
letting her know that it’s okay, that I like every inch of her.

I kiss her over her mound, letting my lips linger until she squirms and opens her thighs ever so slightly. I push them wider, skimming my fingers up and down the soft, supple skin of her inner thighs. She wiggles her hips and I blow gently across her folds, which are glistening and pink and waiting for me to taste her. Her pussy
is bare and damp, with just a tiny tuft of hair at the top of her crease. I would take her pussy any way I could get it, but I particularly love that she shaves.

I lick her slit, watching her face closely. She closes her eyes and fills her lungs with air as her hands fist in the quilt under her. I can’t get quite close enough, so I palm her ass, lift her to my mouth, and suck her clit between
my lips, tonguing it gently but fiercely, because I need for her to come quickly. I need for her to come before I come in my pants. I need to feel her shatter.

Her hips find a rhythm against my tongue, and I use the flat of it to lick her clit. Her thighs begin to tremble on each side of my head, and they lift to press against my ears as she thrusts against my mouth.

Then she falls apart. I
feel it when it happens, and I watch her all the way through it, not releasing my grip on her ass or my frantic pace against her clit until she tries to pull away from me. She’s probably sensitive now that she came, so I slow my tongue, bringing her back down. Her belly clenches in small spasms and I wish my dick was inside her so I could feel them. Some men say they can’t feel the tremble in a pussy,
but if you’re inside a woman and you just made her come like crazy, you pay attention and you enjoy every second of it. I watch her body, and stop moving my tongue when she falls replete against the bed. She lays a hand on her chest and stares up at the ceiling, her breaths falling harshly, her chest heaving.

I wipe my face on the quilt and climb up to lie beside her. “
You came like crazy, right
?” I gloat and pretend to pat myself on the back.

She rolls toward me and hooks a leg over my hip. My dick pulses, already reaching for her heat. “
Do you have a condom
?” she asks.

I nod and reach behind me, pull open a drawer, and get a condom. She takes it from me and rips it open with her teeth.

“
Can I do it
?” she asks.

I nod and watch her as she sinks down a little lower in the bed. Her
fingertips play around the head of my dick.

“
I
’
m afraid I
’
ll hurt you
,” she says.

I take her hand in mine and squeeze it. “
It
’
s a dick
,” I tell her. “
You
’
re not going to break it. Be as rough as you want
.”

She laughs and rolls the condom down until it’s snug at the base of my cock. I tug it a little lower, and then I roll on top of her. I press against her center, and she freezes.

“Are you
sure?” I ask, using my voice.

She tilts her hips. “Yes. I’m sure.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

She hooks her legs around my hips and pulls me with her heels, and I slide into her slowly. Her mouth falls open and a breath of wind escapes her, and then nothing. She clenches her eyes tightly closed, and the greedy walls of her pussy suck at me.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

She nods and nudges me forward
again with her heels. I go a little deeper. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to pound into her. But she’s precious to me. I want to make this okay for her. I want to make it memorable. I want to
not
bust a nut until she’s satisfied too. But I’m not sure that’s going to be possible, not with her wrapped so tightly around me, taking me inside her.

When I’m as deep as I can go, I lift up on
my arms and start to move. Her eyes open and she stares into mine. “Yes,” she says. I can see the word on her lips and feel it in her body, feel it as she takes all of me again and again. She arches to meet me, and she’s so damn tight.

“I can’t hold back,” I warn. She looks at me and shakes her head. She doesn’t know what I said. “I’m going to come,” I explain.

She nods. I stop and look at her,
really look at her. She’s breathing hard, and sweat dots her forehead. But she’s not satisfied.

“Are you hurting?” I ask.

She cups the side of my face with her hand and kisses me. “I’m not hurting.”

“It’s your first time. I don’t want to go too fast.”

She tilts her hips and I slide in a little deeper. She clutches my forearms. Apparently, the angle change was perfect, because she claws the
backs of my arms and holds on to me, her legs lifting higher to take more of me. I press her thigh against her chest and fuck her harder, thinking about cheeseburgers and ice cubes to keep from coming. My third grade science teacher.

She taps my shoulder so I’ll look at her. “Now,” she mouths, and her eyes close as she comes apart in my arms. She falls over the cliff, and she takes me with her.
I wrap my arms around her tightly, pounding through the orgasm, pushing inside her as far as I can go, coming deep in the condom, deep in her, and nothing ever felt quite so right.

Until she starts to cry.

Oh, shit. She’s crying, and I’m still semi-hard inside her. A tear tracks down the side of her face, across her temple and into her hair. She turns her face away from me.

I pull out of her
tight sheath, hissing as my sensitive dick protests the retreat, and take her face in my hands. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Her shoulders shake, but she wraps her arms around me. I roll to the side, taking my weight off her, and pull her to rest on my chest. She wipes her face on my naked chest and sniffles.

“I’m sorry,” I say again. “I didn’t mean to.”

She lifts
her head and rests her chin on my chest. “
You didn
’
t mean to what
?” She smiles softly at me.

“
I didn
’
t mean to make you cry
.”

“
I
’
m sorry I got snot all over you
.” She laughs and wipes beneath her eyes.

“
I made you cry. I deserve some snot
.” I roll her onto her back. “
We can do it again. I can make you come with my mouth. With my fingers. I can do better
.”

“
If you did any better, I
’
d die
,”
she says. Then she giggles, her chest rocking under mine.

“
What
?”

“
I
’
m sorry I got emotional. It was a big thing.”

“Sex
?” I’m a guy. I just had an orgasm, so my brain is mush.

“
Sex with you. First
-
time sex. Losing my V
-
card sex
.” She wipes her nose again. “
I didn
’
t expect it to be so good
.
My sisters said their first times pretty much sucked ass
.”

“
It was good
?”

She nods. “
Yes
.” She shoves
my shoulder. “
Stop fishing for compliments
!”

I flop back against the bed. “
Oh, thank God
,” I rush to say. “
I thought I hurt you or made you unhappy or something
.” I lift my head. “
You
’
re
really okay
?”

She gets up, picks up my t-shirt and pulls it down over her head. She points to my dick, which is still wrapped in a used condom. “
You might want to take care of that. We made a bit of a mess
.”
Her cheeks flush and I look down to find light pink blood on my quilt.

I jump up and take care of it all, grabbing a fresh quilt as she takes care of herself in the bathroom. I knock on the door when she hasn’t come out. She opens the door a crack and walks away from it. Steam billows out of my bathroom from the shower, and I go in to find her getting in it. My t-shirt is in a lump on the floor,
and her naked bottom disappears behind the shower door.

I run a frustrated hand through my hair. I have never really cared how a girl felt after sex, but all I can do is care about how this one feels, because I care about her more than I could ever imagine.

The shower door opens. “
Do you want to come in with me
?” she asks. She looks down at my quickly hardening dick and bites her lower lip.

I do what any honorable man would do. I go get another condom and get in the shower with her. “
Are you sore
?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “
Not yet
.” She grins at me and turns her face to the water.

I put my hands on her shoulders and step close behind her, my dick already reaching for her heat. But then I feel it. She’s trembling. She looked so composed and so happy and she was so soft in my
arms a minute ago. But now she’s stiff as a board and she’s shaking.

“You’re not okay, are you?” I ask next to her ear.

She leans her elbows on the shower wall and presses her forehead against the tiles. Then she shakes her head.

I gently take her shoulders and turn her to face me. I can’t talk to her with her facing away. She leans heavily against the wall. “
Did you come in here because you
needed a minute away from me
?”

She nods and looks everywhere but at me.

Okay. I’ll give her that. I have no idea what’s going through her head, but I know it’s my fault. I know she needed a break from me and she
still
needs a break from me. Or from what she’s feeling. I don’t know which. Maybe both.

I want to draw her into me and cuddle her, but I don’t think that’s what she needs.

I want
to give her every single thing she needs.

I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around my hips. The mirror mocks me, telling me I’m a stupid bastard who went too far.

I crack the door of the shower and she looks at me. I can’t tell if she has water in her eyes or if they’re swimming in tears. “
We went too fast, didn
’
t we
?” I ask.

She nods, holding my gaze with hers. It’s almost as though
she stabs me in the chest with a knife when she jerks her eyes from mine and dips her face into the spray.

I walk out of the bathroom, not knowing what the hell I’m supposed to do now.

Lark

I sink down to the shower floor and sit on the cool tiles, tipping my head so that the spray of the water hits the crown of my head. I stay that way until the shaking subsides. Then I wash my hair with his shampoo, wash with his soap, and turn off the water. I’ll smell like a man, but I don’t care.