Holding Her Breath (Indigo) (2 page)

Whitney smiled and kept chopping.

“Speaking of Brenda, I can’t believe that woman finally got married. Look at what she chose, though.” Aunt Cheryl rolled her eyes.

“Don’t start, Cheryl,” Jo said. “It’s gonna be a long night if you get started in on that.” She looked up from the kitchen sink and wiped her hands on her apron.

Aunt Cheryl raised her eyebrows at Whitney’s mother. “Jo. You know I’m going to speak my mind. Always have. Always will.”

“There’s a difference between speaking your mind and being obnoxious,” Jo said.

Aunt Cheryl opened her mouth to respond, but just then the front door opened and voices filled the hall again. Two squealing children ran into the kitchen followed by their laughing parents, Whitney’s Uncle Larry and his wife, Janet.

Whitney hugged both of them after they entered the kitchen and greeted everyone.

“How are y’all? It’s so good to see you,” Whitney said. She hadn’t seen them since she’d gotten into town a couple days earlier.

“I see how it is. I ain’t get nary a bit of hug when I walked in here earlier.” Aunt Cheryl cut her eyes at Whitney.

Whitney forced herself not to groan. She hadn’t seen Uncle Larry or Aunt Janet since the summer. She’d seen Aunt Cheryl almost every moment since she’d arrived home two days ago. It was always easier to just apologize. “I’m sorry,” Whitney said, walking toward her aunt with her arms outstretched.

Aunt Cheryl stepped away from Whitney. “Naw. I don’t want one if I have to ask for it.”

Whitney turned back to Uncle Larry and Aunt Janet. “How have you two been?”

“Great. Settling into the new house and trying to keep up with them.” Uncle Larry nodded to the young boy and girl hopping around the kitchen and begging their aunt Jo for cookies.

They made her think about having kids one day. Not that those were at the top of her priority list. Making partner was the most important thing at the moment.

“They’re so sweet,” Whitney said.

“Yeah, you wanna take ’em back to D.C. with you and see if you still think that?” Janet asked. The three of them laughed.

Janet called out to her children. “Brianna, L.J., come say hi to your cousin.”

Four-year-old L.J. and six-year-old Brianna ran over, shouting Whitney’s name. They were a lot younger than Janet and Larry’s kids from their previous marriages. Both of them had been married before. In fact, they’d met through a divorce support group.

Brianna and L.J. each took a side and wrapped themselves around Whitney’s legs. She unwrapped herself from their grips and squatted down. She put an arm around each of them.

“How are you guys?”

“Good!” they shouted.

“You been good this year?”

They nodded vigorously.

“Then what’s Santa bringing you?”

L.J. gave his answer before his sister could open her mouth. “Toys and candy and all the presents in the world.”

Whitney laughed. “Really?”

“Whit, why don’t you take Brianna and L.J. to get washed up for dinner? We’ll be ready to eat as soon as Brenda and Glen get back,” Jo said while handing Janet an apron.

“Okay,” Whitney said, glad to escape the kitchen. She took a tiny hand in each of hers and led her cousins toward the half-bathroom.

By the time Whitney was done helping her cousins wash up for dinner, everyone else had arrived and made their way into the dining room. Whitney took a seat at the table and looked around at her family assembled there.

Brianna and L.J. sat at a card table a few feet away with Aunt Cheryl’s grandchildren, swinging their feet from where they sat in their folding chairs. They merrily swirled mashed potatoes around their fingers.

That was the only place in the world she wanted to be. It was so good to have all of her family in one place. Almost all of them, anyway.

Whitney’s paternal grandparents were in New York. She wasn’t looking forward to calling them for Christmas the next day. It always took so much out of her to keep her patience while talking to them. Grandmother was always finding new ways to insult Jo while ostensibly paying her compliments.

“…Yo, Whitney?” one of Aunt Cheryl’s sons called with his hands cupped around his mouth. Apparently, he’d been trying to get her attention for a while.

Whitney shook her head, bringing herself back to the dinner table. “You ask me something?”

“Oh, I just wanted to know what you gettin’ for Christmas.” He looked at his brother, and the two of them snickered.

“I don’t know. Why?” She knew whatever he had to say was going to be stupid.

“Mom said she hopes you ask for a man ’cause you sure need one.” He tittered. He would’ve punched his brother in the arm, amused by the supposed cleverness of his own lame joke, if Cheryl hadn’t been between them. She just knew it. He said, “You know, ’cause you still single. You know, ’cause Devon just got engaged. Even Alicia has a man.”

“Funny,” she said before taking a sip of eggnog. “Really.”

The front door banged open and a voice called out, “We’re home.”

“Finally,” Jo muttered. “I was wondering if they went to mine that salt themselves.” She craned her head toward the living room.

Whitney turned to see Alicia walk into the dining room. Alicia was Whitney’s sixteen-year-old half-sister, Jo and Shorty’s child.

Alicia kissed Whitney’s cheek and bent over her chair to give her a hug. They chatted for a minute before Alicia went around the table saying hello to everybody else. Whitney thought about what her cousin had said while she watched Alicia make her way around the table.

Whitney didn’t have any trouble finding men. And she might not have had any trouble keeping them, if she could find the effort to put into a relationship. She had precious little free time, and she preferred to spend it with her friends rather than with the losers who always came on to her.

She was still busy making a name for herself at the firm. Later, she always told herself. She had plenty of time to worry about things like love and marriage and all of that. So Devon was engaged. And one of Aunt Cheryl’s sons was married and the other one had a long-time girlfriend. So what? Like Aunt Brenda had told her, she wasn’t in a race to the altar with anybody.

She smiled at the memory of Devon’s proposal to his girlfriend over Thanksgiving. Her smile faded when she remembered the look on Devon’s face earlier when she’d asked where Trina was. He’d spat out that she was with her family for Christmas. He’d made a point of mostly avoiding her after that. Whitney liked to help people with their problems. Devon called that being nosy.

She sat back, picking at her string beans. Her appetite had dulled a little even though her stomach had been growling when she first sat down to her mother’s perfect meal.

Hopefully Christmas Day wouldn’t be too wild. Something always went wrong, though. And it usually happened when stepdad number one and his girlfriend stopped by on Christmas night. Jo tried to remain civil to him for Devon’s sake, but it was always iffy when those two saw each other.

“I’m moving out.” Kelly put her hands on her narrow hips and delivered the news to Chace. Kelly was the only reason he’d moved to this place that wasn’t even a dot on the map.

“What?” Why was she saying this? On Christmas Eve. They were supposed to be exchanging presents before heading to her parents’ house for Christmas carols and eggnog. Like last year. And the year before that. The big Weiss tradition.

“Chace, I can’t do this anymore.”

“Can’t do what?” They hadn’t had any big fights. He wasn’t aware of anything he’d done to piss her off. Anything he’d done wrong at all.

She put her hands over her face and shook her head. “I’ve been seeing someone.”

Chace dropped into the chair he’d just risen from. “What do you mean, seeing someone?”

“Hank.”

“I don’t understand.” He didn’t want to understand. Hank was a lawyer in town and Kelly’s boss.

“Remember how I told you I wanted to move back here from Richmond to be closer to my family?” She took a deep breath. “Well, I also wanted to be closer to Hank. We’ve been seeing each other off and on for three years now.”

“But we’ve only been together for two.” Chace felt sick.

She crossed her arms over her chest and stared away from him.

“Hank’s married.”

“I know,” she said. “But he’s finally going to leave his wife for me. He’s telling her right after the holidays. But I can’t live this lie with you anymore. I’m going to stay with my parents until after New Year’s.”

Did her parents know what she’d done to him? And he’d thought they liked him.

Chace stared at the presents under the Christmas tree. That was why she’d barely let him touch her lately? Was hardly ever home? Never wanted to go out anywhere with him when she was? Because of balding, ancient Hank?

“Chace, you have to know I didn’t want it to be this way. Hank and I had called it off before I met you. I really liked being with you, and I’ll always care about you.”

“Is it the money, Kelly? Is that why? Because Hank is a big, fancy lawyer and I’m just a freelance photographer with a crappy day job? Because I’m not afraid to follow my dreams and try to be what I really want to be?”

“Hank and I…we have a very special bond. When I’m with him—don’t make me say these things. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Uh, you don’t want to what?” Her words were a brick to his stomach. Two years. And it was going to end like that. He stared at the shiny red wrapping around the box that contained her present. He remembered being so excited about finding the right frame for the photo of her grandparents on their wedding day. The photo that he and Kelly’s mom had spent hours digging through old shoeboxes full of photos to find. The perfect prelude to a New Year’s Eve or a Valentine’s Day proposal. He hadn’t yet decided which. Now he wouldn’t have to.

Kelly cleared her throat, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “Amy is coming over to help me pack. I want to get out tonight. Make this as quick and painless as possible.”

Chace had to laugh. “This isn’t ripping a bandage off a scratch, Kelly. Nothing about this is quick and painless.”

“Don’t. This is already hard enough.” She walked over and put a hand on his shoulder.

He shrugged away from her. “Don’t touch me. Ever. Again.”

“I do lo—”

“I swear, if you say it? I’ll put my fist through a wall,” Chace said, standing up and walking over to the wall near the balcony as if readying himself to carry out his threat.

Kelly ran a hand through her long brown hair, settling it back behind her shoulders. There was a knock at the door. Kelly went to answer it. Chace folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall.

Kelly opened the door and a petite blonde with a round face and short hair walked into the room. Kelly’s friend, Amy. She dragged two boxes in with her that were almost bigger than she was.

“Hi, Chace.” Amy gave him a sympathetic smile. The kind of smile you’d give someone if they’d lost their best friend.

“Hey,” Chace said, kicking at the carpet with the toe of his gray sock.

Kelly took the boxes from her and set them on the couch. “Did you bring more?”

“Yeah, there are some more in my car. I brought those crates you asked about, too. I found them in my garage.” Amy handed her car keys to Kelly.

Kelly nodded and headed out of the door.

Amy walked over to him. She twisted her wedding ring around her finger and looked up at him and down at it alternately. The look she gave him reeked of guilt. Amy was the only person who knew Chace had planned to ask Kelly to marry him.

“Did you know?” he asked.

“I knew about him, but she told me that it was over.” Amy looked over her shoulder. “She said she’d broken up with him for the last time, and she was all about you. Otherwise, I would have told you when you told me you were going to ask her to marry you. I swear.” She looked up at him with pleading brown eyes, as if willing him to believe her.

Chace nodded, letting his brown hair fall into his eyes as he looked down at the carpet.

“She told me this morning that he told her he couldn’t live without her. That if leaving his wife was what it took to get her back, he was going to have to do it. I’m sorry.”

He looked across the room. “Yeah. Me, too.”

“Really, you’re better off not being in this mess.” Amy put a hand on his arm.

“Would have been nice to have a warning about the kind of mess I was in.”

“I couldn’t—I couldn’t say anything. Kelly made me promise. We’ve been friends since first grade.”

He nodded, swallowing thickly. He knew it wasn’t Amy’s fault. The one he really needed to blame was downstairs getting boxes out of Amy’s car. He walked over to the bar counter that bordered the kitchen and slipped on his shoes. He grabbed his keys from the counter.

“Where are you going?”

He shrugged. “Somewhere. I can’t be here and watch you two pack up her things.”

“But what if we don’t know what belongs to who?”