Holdin' On for a Hero (12 page)

Chance pushed the thoughts from her mind. The way things stood right now, she would be lucky to get a cordial handshake goodbye when she left. She had no doubt that once this thing with Tsa’li was over, Wyatt would turn his back on her, and she would have to give up and leave. There would be no point in staying.

The wolf pup whimpered, drawing her attention. Pouring the last of the milk into the plastic doll’s bottle, she began to feed it.

Wyatt cut his eyes over at Chance as she administered to the needs of the pup. He had watched her covertly the past twenty-four hours and many questions had risen in his mind. She had seemed genuinely surprised when he mentioned the abortion. Just as she seemed to be telling the truth when she said that she had never come to the mountains when she was eight years old. If she had blocked the memory of what happened to them on Clingman’s Dome from her mind then it was within the realm of possibility that she had also blocked all memory of the pregnancy and abortion from her mind as well.

Part of him balked at the notion of giving her the benefit of the doubt, the part of him that was locked behind the walls he had built around his emotions to protect himself from the pain. But another part, the part that still harbored deep feelings for her, hoped that she was being honest. What that would change, he could not see. Things were as they were between them. If she had ever really cared about him, then she sure had not shown it. Since the day he left after her graduation until now, she hadn’t tried to contact him. That didn’t seem like someone who cared.

At a noise at the entrance of the cave, Wyatt saw her look up. Their eyes met briefly before he stood. Tsa’li entered and nodded to him. Chance looked at Tsa’li with an anxious expression on her face.

Tsa’li took a seat in front of the fire and motioned for Wyatt to move his things aside. Wyatt gathered his sleeping bag, spread it beside Chance and sat down, watching as Tsa’li laid the canvas bag he carried on the ground in front of him, and looked at Chance.

“Did you sleep?”

“No.”

“No food?”

“No.”

Tsa’li nodded in approval. “How do you feel?”

“Sleepy and hungry and a little afraid,” she admitted.

“That will pass,” he replied and picked up the canvas bag to take a tin cup from it. From a leather bag slung across his body he took a smaller pouch and sprinkled some dry brown powder into the cup. Then he poured water from an old canteen and gently rotated the cup around.

Chance looked up at him as the pup moved its mouth away from the bottle and closed its eyes. “What’s that?” She indicated the cup.

Tsa’li moved to squat beside her. “I am what you whites call a medicine man. I learned from my father, who learned from his father, who learned from his father. The history and wisdom of the People has been passed through the generations to me. Wyatt has asked for my help. There are things in your past that you have buried. I will help you bring them once more into the light, if you are willing.”

Chance looked from him to Wyatt. His dark eyes met hers and he nodded his head slowly. She swallowed nervously and laid the pup down beside her. “Okay.” She looked at Tsa’li. “What do I do?”

“Drink only half of this.” He handed her the cup.

“What’s in it?”

“Something that will help you breach the barriers of time. Do not fear. No harm will come to you. However, the choice is yours. Trust in me and remember or do not and remain as you are, an outcast to your own past.”

Chance looked up at him for a moment, studying his face and eyes then took the cup and turned it up to her lips before she had time to back out. The liquid was bitter and made her want to gag but she choked back the nausea and drank half the contents. Tsa’li nodded to her then took the cup and handed it to Wyatt. “You must join her in the journey.”

Wyatt didn’t argue. He swallowed the rest of the contents,he then returned the cup to Tsa’li who sat down across the fire from Chance once more. There was silence in the cave. Tsa’li and Wyatt were watching Chance and she was focused on the wolf pup.

After several minutes Tsa’li removed a large, multifaceted crystal from his pouch. Firelight danced on its surface, reflecting the light while at the same time seeming to absorb it into its center so that it glowed with a strange energy. He held it between both hands and began a low chant, rhythmic and slow. His words were too low to be understood at first, but they gradually increased in volume. His eyes were riveted on Chance.

Wyatt saw her eyes begin to look heavy, as if she were tired or sleepy. Her posture sagged slightly and an expression came over her face as if she were dazed. He looked at Tsa’li and saw the old man watching Chance closely as well. Tsa’li turned to meet his gaze and nodded. “It is time.”

His attention turned once more to Chance and he spoke in the tongue of his people. “Look at Wyatt, Chance Davenport.”

Wyatt was surprised when she turned and looked into his eyes. He didn’t know how she had understood Tsa’li’s words, but he had accepted long ago that there were many things he didn’t understand so he didn’t waste energy thinking more about it. Sitting very still, he looked into Chance’s golden eyes, seeing the pupils grow larger with each passing moment until the black almost eclipsed the gold.

He had no way of knowing that Chance was completely lost in the darkness of his own eyes. If he could have seen himself though her eyes he would have known that at that moment his eyes seemed blacker than the darkest night and the reflection from the dancing flames was growing steadily in their depths.

Tsa’li’s voice seemed to come from inside Wyatt’s mind. He knew that Chance could also hear the words.

“Let go of this time and place. Put yourself in the hands of the spirits and ride the wind of time. Go back, Chance Davenport. Join with Wyatt and travel back, back to a time long ago, to the time you first came with him to the mountains of the People.”

Wyatt’s throat tightened. He could feel what Chance felt. He experienced the dizzying feeling that took hold of her. He could feel her thoughts, knowing that as she looked into his eyes, she saw some inner fire burning within them and she was drawn deeper into their depths. Suddenly she was sucked inside the darkness. Tumbling and spiraling she fell through the endless blackness. Wyatt mentally reached for her, wrapping his essence around her as they plunged into the void.

Abruptly the descent ceased. Wyatt shook his head as she blinked her eyes. “I can’t see.” Her voice sounded afraid. “Where am I?”

“On Clingman’s Dome,” Wyatt answered softly as he looked around in astonishment at the old memory that suddenly came to life before him. “Don’t you remember?”

She cried out in surprise. “Yes! I’m eight years old.” Her voice was that of a child. “I can see you, Wyatt. You’re almost thirteen. You’re so big and strong and handsome. All the girls at school like you. They tell me. That’s why they’re nice to me, you know. They want me to ask them over so they can see you. I know they don’t really like me. It’s you they want. I don’t want them to hate me but I don’t like asking them over. I don’t want them to have you.”

“Do you remember coming here to Clingman’s Dome?”

“That’s not its name, silly. That’s what the whites call it. This is the place of the enchanted lake.”

“Yes,” he agreed softly. “Then you remember coming here?”

“Oh, yes!” she nodded excitedly. “We rode on a motorcycle and you drove very fast. It was fun.”

“Tell me about that day.”

Chance drew her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on top of her knees, wrapping her arms around her legs. “How come boy birds don’t have to be taught to be daddies but girl birds have to be taught how to be mommy birds? Girls aren’t so dumb.”

Wyatt didn’t know what to say. Then he realized that while he was seeing the event through the eyes of an adult, Chance seemed to be reliving it as if she really were eight years old again. “What do I do?” he asked, knowing that somehow Tsa’li was watching over them.

Tsa’li’s voice was low. “She is now one with the past. She must tell in her own way. You are seeing through the eyes of a man. She lives the time though the eyes of the child she was. You are with her as protector and guide.”

Wyatt nodded and looked at Chance who was staring up above her. “I know boys and girls are different,” she said, turning to look at him. “Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.”

There was a few moment of silence. Chance’s expression changed from indignant to angry to dazed. Wyatt watched her closely. He could feel the emotions racing through her and knew that she was reliving that day, seeing and feeling everything as if it were real.

“Can I see?” she asked softly. “Can I, Wyatt?”

Wyatt cleared his throat. “Yes.”

Chance moved onto her knees and reached toward him. Suddenly she looked up past him with a terrified look on her face. A scream tore loose from her throat and she started hitting at the air, twisting and struggling. “Nooooo!” she screamed. “Wyatt! Help!”

She continued to scream and thrash around. Wyatt took hold of her arms to keep her from getting burned on the fire. She cried and yelled in fear and then abruptly stopped. Wyatt released her and she scrambled back away from him, staring over his head with wide eyes.

Her eyes moved to him and a scream of complete horror ripped loose from her throat. Her eyes bore the look of someone who has seen the ultimate terror and she cowered in fear.

“No, please,” she said and held up her hands in front of her. “Don’t. Don’t hurt me. Please, Wyatt, please, don’t hurt me.”

She moved back in jerky movements. “Wyatt, don’t! Noooo! Stop! Don’t touch me!”

All at once she jerked and stopped screaming. She looked up at some unseen sight before her. “Wyatt? You’re not going to kill me, too, are you? I won’t tell, I promise. Please don’t—”

Chance suddenly stopped, kneeling on the ground and shaking violently. Wyatt moved to her and put his arms around her. She held him tightly, running her fingers back and forth along his back. “I’ll protect you, Wyatt, I promise.” she whispered as the trembling lessened. “Don’t be afraid. No one will find out. I’ll take care of you—always, I will. I’ll protect you.”

She stopped talking and remained where she was, rubbing her hand back and forth as if consoling him. Wyatt was still for a moment then he heard Tsa’li’s voice.

“She will be cold away from the fire. Bring her back to the warmth and move on from this place. She has not been harmed.”

Wyatt lifted her up in his arms. She snuggled up against his chest, rubbing her hand back and forth over his shoulder as he carried her back and placed her on the sleeping bag in front of the fire.

“Chance?” he whispered, sitting down beside her.

“Wyatt?” She turned and smiled.

“Chance, I want you to do something for me, okay?”

“You know I will,” she replied without hesitation as a loving smile took hold on her face.

“I want you to leave this place. We need to go forward now. To the summer you graduated from high school. Will you go with me there?”

The pleasant expression on her face changed to a frown. “I don’t want to go there. It’s dark and full of pain.”

“We need to. Please, Chance. I need you to go there with me.”

She sighed and lowered her head. “You left me, Wyatt. I loved you and you left me.”

Tears swelled in her eyes and spilled out onto her face. “I thought if we made love you would realize—I never loved anyone but you, Wyatt. That’s why I was a virgin. I…but you didn’t love me. You made it ugly and then you left.”

“Chance, I—” Wyatt stopped as Tsa’li’s voice spoke in his mind.

“This is important to her. Do nothing to prevent her from experiencing what she needs to.”

Chance wiped at the tears on her face. “When you left it felt like there wasn’t a sun in the sky anymore, you know? Everything was just shades of gray. Father made me go to the beach but I didn’t have fun. I walked along the shore for hours, staring at the water and wondering what I was supposed to do. You were all that ever mattered to me and you were gone—gone to marry that girl with the bleached hair and red lipstick. Father got mad because I wasn’t being the way he wanted me to be so we came home. Then Patricia decided we should go on a cruise. It was horrible. I stayed on deck staring at the water. My stomach hurt and I couldn’t eat. I just kept throwing up. My breasts hurt and I didn’t have my period.”

She put her hand on her abdomen and fresh tears streamed down her face. “When we got home I told Adeola and she asked me if I had been with a man. I told her I had but I didn’t tell her who it was. I never imagined she would go to Father and Patricia but she did. She said it was for the best. Patricia made me go to the doctor. I hated going—it’s so humiliating the way they feel your insides and the nurses stand there watching. The doctor said I was pregnant. God, I was so happy! I was going to have your baby. For several days all I could do was think about it, how it would look, how it would feel in my arms. I couldn’t wait. But the doctor called and told Patricia and she told Father.”

Chance’s fists clenched tightly and her entire body tensed. Wyatt felt the darkness they were locked in shimmer and suddenly he saw the familiar sight of Chance’s house take shape around them. As if watching a play being enacted before him he saw Chance sitting on the couch in her father’s study, clenching her hands in her lap, looking pale and very small and alone.