Hold Your Breath (22 page)

Tara regarded the other girl. ‘Yeah,’ she said quietly. ‘It was.’ There was another pause. ‘So what has Jada been saying about me?’

Karis rolled her eyes. ‘She keeps trying to come out with some stupid story about you being psychic or something but no one is listening to her. What happened to Mel . . . and you . . .
well, it’s kind of bigger news than anything she has to say, you know?’

Tara felt a slow grin wrap itself around her mouth. ‘Right.’

‘Anyway,’ said Karis getting to her feet. ‘I can’t really stay because my dad’s coming to get me. But I wanted to say, you know, sorry . . . and that maybe when
you’re back on your feet . . . maybe you could come round to mine one day. You know . . . only if you wanted to.’

Tara smiled up at her. ‘Thanks, I’d like that,’ she said shyly.

‘Okay, then,’ Karis said, returning her grin.

‘Going so soon?’ Beck came back around the side of the curtain, holding three cans of Coke.

Tara rolled her eyes at Karis and the other girl burst out laughing.

‘Something I said?’ Beck settled himself back into the newly vacated chair and reached for the chocolates.

A few days later, Tara was home.

Mum – and Dad – were driving her nuts with their requests about how she was feeling, so she decided to take a walk down to the river. She wasn’t strong enough to take Sammie
yet and the dog gazed at her balefully as she left the house without him.

Autumn had arrived in full force now and the river was covered with gold and red leaves like scales. The sky was iron grey and it was hard to imagine that she’d swum outdoors only a couple
of weeks before. The year was turning. Everything was changing.

She was sitting on the bench looking at the water when footsteps behind made her turn. Her heart flipped over.

‘Oh,’ she said. ‘Hi.’

Leo stood a few metres away, hands in his pockets and a shy half-smile on his face.

‘No mutt today?’ he said quietly. ‘No Sammie?’

‘What, suddenly you like my dog?’ said Tara weakly.

Leo smiled a little and took another few steps closer.

‘I wouldn’t go that far,’ he said, ‘but we had to spend time together and we, you know, worked through a few issues. I had a word about the bad breath and the whole
crotch-sniffing thing.’

‘Oh yeah?’ Tara felt a smile tug at her lips.

‘Yeah,’ said Leo. They looked at each other for a moment and then the connection between their eyes was broken.

‘Can I sit there?’ said Leo uncertainly.

Tara looked down. ‘Yeah, if you want.’

She felt awkward, suddenly hyper-conscious of how pale and washed out she still looked. And she didn’t know how to be with him. He hadn’t come to see her in hospital, had he?

‘How are you feeling?’ he said quietly.

Tara felt a surge of resentment, powerful and hot, towards him. It came out of nowhere.

‘I’m all right,’ she said tersely. ‘They did a good job. You know. In hospital.’ She looked into his eyes and knew her message was getting across just fine.

He flushed, attractively. Why did it always look so cute when he did it? It didn’t seem very fair, when blushing turned Tara’s whole head scarlet. But she wasn’t blushing now.
She felt too angry.

‘I did try to come and see you,’ he said quietly.

‘Oh,’ said Tara. ‘What? I mean, when? And why didn’t I see you?’

Leo put his hands in his pockets and looked towards the river. He coughed and Tara got the sensation that he was deeply uncomfortable.

‘I bumped into your brother,’ he said, his voice still low and quiet. ‘Beck, is it?’

Tara nodded, watching him. ‘And . . . did he say something to you?’

Leo laughed. ‘Kind of, yeah.’ He took an audible breath in. ‘Said my family was poison and that if I caused you a day’s more upset, he’d . . . not be happy. Spelt
out what he’d do. Very clearly . . .’ He shrugged.

‘Idiot,’ muttered Tara under her breath. She’d be having a word with her big brother later, the cheeky sod.

‘I’m not planning to hurt you,’ Leo continued, ‘but then I started thinking he was right. It’s true, isn’t it? It was my family that did this to you, after
all.’ He lifted his hand and, with a feather-light finger, brushed the side of her forehead where the bruise was now fading to a sickly yellow. ‘So maybe I should stay away. Maybe we
are
poison.’

They looked into each other’s eyes. Tara’s insides tumbled and twisted as though she was being shaken up. She swallowed.

‘It wasn’t your fault,’ she whispered. ‘I don’t blame
you
.’

Tara watched the hope blossom in Leo’s eyes. They held each other’s gaze and then both broke away and stared at the river.

‘How’s, um, your sister?’ said Tara after a moment, needing to fill the silence.

‘She’s all right,’ said Leo gruffly. ‘She’s gone to Brighton for real now. Seems she might have been in trouble for agreeing to the kidnap thing, but they’re
not pressing charges because of her age.’

‘Oh, right,’ said Tara.

A bitter image of Melodie yelling, ‘Do it to her!’ scrolled across her mind. She’d
helped
that girl. Or had she made things worse? It was hard to know now.

Leo cleared his throat, bringing Tara back into the moment. She kept doing this since everything happened. Zoning out. Her cheeks flooded with heat and she bit her lip.

‘Anyway . . .’ he began.

Tara glanced at him. His long legs were stretched out in front of him, his hands in his pockets. It may have looked cocky, but the way he swallowed and coughed again suggested he wasn’t
feeling cocky after all.

‘What I should have said to Beck . . . and what I’m saying to you now . . . is that I, you know, I have another family,’ he said. ‘Mel’s my sister and always will
be. And she’s messed up, badly. But what I’m trying to say is, me and my dad, we’re not connected to . . . to Faith.’

Tara didn’t know what to say. Silence hung heavily between them.

‘I’m not making any sense,’ he continued, ‘but I came to say I’m sorry you got caught up in it. And that I’m not like them. I’ll understand if you want
to tell me to get lost. You probably don’t want to see me again anyway. And there’s the leisure centre if you ever go swimming again.’

Leo sighed. ‘I just needed to get that off my chest in case there was any chance, um . . .’ His voice trailed away. He looked directly into her eyes now. Tara saw sadness and longing
there and felt an almost magnetic pulling sensation in her body towards him.

‘It’s all right,’ she said shyly. ‘I don’t blame you for any of it.’

Leo turned to her, his face radiating hope. She could kiss him now if she wanted to. She knew that with absolute certainty. But as much as she wanted to throw her arms around his neck she knew
they weren’t finished with this conversation yet. There was stuff she needed to say. Tara felt she’d spent too long trying to hide away. Trying to pretend she was someone else.

‘This . . . thing of mine?’ she said, forcing strength into her words. ‘You know . . . the thing I told you about. How I knew Melodie was in trouble . . .’

Leo’s eyebrows knitted in confusion. ‘What about it?’

‘Well . . .’ Tara swallowed. ‘Doesn’t that . . . put you off? Doesn’t it bother you?’

‘Bother me?’ he parroted.

‘Yes!’ she said, her voice rising with frustration. ‘I mean, it’s not exactly normal is it?’

Leo laughed. A genuine, easy laugh. ‘Normal’s overrated,’ he said. ‘And anyway . . . maybe I’m not the best judge, when you think about it.’

Tara felt a slow grin spread across her lips. Leo was grinning back at her, his eyes shining.

‘So . . .’ he said in not much more than a whisper. ‘What do you think? About . . . everything?’ He spread his hands.

Tara took a deep breath. ‘Well . . . I like the
lido
,’ she said, scrunching her face and pretending to think it through. ‘I like the challenge of taking my life in my
hands when I go swimming, what with all the hazardous materials. And anyway, I’m still holding out for the sight of Dobby in his swimming trunks.’

Leo laughed. They met eyes again. Time felt suspended between them.

‘Oh for God’s sake, come here will you!’ said Tara at last. She threw her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Leo’s arms snaked around her back and drew her
closer.

A cool breeze ruffled the surface of the river.

People walked past, their feet crackling the leaves that covered the path. Glancing at the entwined teenagers on the bench, they smiled at each other.

But Tara didn’t notice.

She was lost.

My editor Anne Clark was invaluable in helping shape
Dark Ride
and
Cracks
and the same holds true for this book. Thank you, Anne, for your brilliant editorial
eye and friendship.

A big thank you to my sister Helenanne Hansen for being an early reader of
Hold Your Breath
and giving me a boost of confidence that the story was going in the right direction.

Andrew Roach sent me some wonderful photos of the river near his house, which was the inspiration for the one that flows through Tara’s town. Thanks, Andy!

Thanks also to Benjamin at the Arundel Lido and Maureen Saunders at the Beccles Lido for their help with a couple of technical questions about outdoor swimming pools.

As ever, Luisa Plaja, Emily Gale and Alexandra Fouracres have been there with their unending support (and laughs).

I’m very honoured to be part of a writing group that includes Emma Darwin, Margot Watts, Linda Buckley-Archer, Susannah Cherry and Essie Fox. Thank you, Daily Breaders, for letting me be
part of your talented gang.

I’ve already dedicated the book to my wonderful group of students at East Barnet School (hey, remember to invite me to your own book launches one day) but I would also like to thank staff
and students there generally. Working as your Writer in Residence this year has been a real pleasure.

I also want to say a big thank you to my father, George Green for his generosity and for always believing in me.

Thanks also to my agent Catherine Pellegrino for her continuing support.

Pete, Joe and Harry always come at the end of the list of acknowledgements but nowhere has the phrase ‘last but not least’ been most apt. Love you, guys. You make me feel lucky every
day.

I’m shaking all over. My brain feels like a computer whose hard drive is full. I can’t take any more weirdness – I haven’t got room in my head. I look
around the kitchen and I know something is different but I can’t put my finger on it.

Cal’s discovering that his life is not as ordinary as he thought. That’s scary. Particularly when it seems he’s the very last to know. He needs to find out the
truth – but, with lies, danger and deceit on all sides, is there anyone he can trust?

‘If you devoured
The Hunger Games
this will hit the spot.’

The Times

‘Taut and suspense packed right up to the last page.’

The Financial Times

‘A fast-paced thriller in which nothing is as it seems.’

The Independent

A shiver crawled up my spine. It felt like the loneliest place in the world. For a second I thought I caught a snatch of music in the air, but it was just the wind whistling
through cracks in the fairground hoardings.

My instincts screamed, ‘Run away, Bel!

Run away and never return!’

But instead my fingers closed around the ticket in my pocket.

ADMIT ONE.

Bel has never met anyone like Luka. And the day she follows him into the abandoned fairground, she is totally unprepared for the turn her life is about to take . . .

Winner of the RoNA Young Adult Award

‘Full of tension, mystery and real-life drama,
Dark Ride
is not to be missed.’

Chicklish