Hold the Roses (33 page)

Paul's wonderful answer was, "Honk if you love Jesus!"

Don't misunderstand, Paul had a fantastic sense of humor. One night
after taping the third show, we went in to dinner and they served wine.
Paul drank a little more than usual that night, and the last two shows had
to be cut to ribbons because of the things Paul said. The next day Paul told
us what happened on his way home the night before.

He was driving on the sidewalk, so a cop stopped him. Paul stayed in
his car, and the cop got off his motorcycle with his ticket book in hand
ready to write a ticket. Paul pulled the window down and said, "I'll have a
cheeseburger, hold the fries." The cop laughed and realized it was Paul
Lynde, and said, "I'll escort you home, Mr. Lynde."

Vincent Price was almost a regular. He was on quite a bit-there
never lived a sweeter man. Vinnie had a great sense of humor, and when
people would ask him why I wore the black bow in my hair, Vinnie would
say, "She has to-it's nailed into her head."

I threw many dinner parties. I'm quite a good cook and that's the
only thing I brag about. One particular evening, I had invited everyone
from Squares for a big Italian dinner. They were to arrive at 7:00 P.M.

At 5:00 P.M. the doorbell rang. I was just starting to get dressed. Noopy
yelled in to me, "Mom, it's a Rolls-Royce and it's Vincent Price."

I said, "What in the hell is he doing here now? I said 7:00 P.M., not
5:00 P.M."

I grabbed my robe and went to the door. Vincent was standing there
with two cartons and asked, "Where's the kitchen?"

I said, "What are you doing here now?"

He walked into the kitchen, put the cartons down. One contained
white wine and the other contained red wine.

I said, "Don't you think I know enough to serve wine with my dinner?"

He turned around, went to the door, turned to me and said, "I'll see
you at 7:00 P.M.," and left.

By the way, it was a helluva party, with people like Jonathan Winters,
George Gobel, Cliff Arquette, Peter Marshall, Steve Allen, Paul Lynde,
and darling Vincent Price.

One more cute story about Vinnie. I had just gotten my Rolls-Royce,
and I drove it to the studio. I parked in my space, got out and went to the
trunk to take out my clothes for the show. Vinnie saw me and started to
run toward me, saying, "Anybody who owns a Rolls-Royce shouldn't carry
their own clothes." I loved him for that.

Speaking of wardrobe, it took me awhile to realize that sitting in that square, we could only be seen from the waist up. I stopped bringing five
complete wardrobe changes and began to just bring blouses or sweaters
and change my top for each of the five shows.

Whenever Phyllis Diller did the show, I shared a dressing room with
her. This one particular night I came in a little late and I walked into our
room. Phyllis had every inch covered with feathers, beads, cigarette holders, bracelets, and so on. There wasn't any space left for anything. I looked
at her arranging all this stuff and said, "When are you putting the pool in?"

She laughed and said she was sorry, she'd move a few things. From
then on, whenever she did the show, she used only a small corner of the
dressing table.

I roomed with a lot of the stars. A couple of times I shared the room
with Pearl Bailey, who was just wonderful. I met my dear friend and secretary, Dodi Williams, when I shared a room with Pearl. She was Pearl's
secretary for years and years. We took a liking to each other right away, and
I said, "If you ever need a job, call me."

To my surprise, she called me that week and said, "I can help you
out, maybe two days a week, if you want, because Pearl goes out of town a
lot."

I said, "Great. I really need some help with the fan mail."

So dear Dodi started doing the mail for me. We've known each other
for twenty years, and she's always been there when I needed her. When
Pearl died, Dodi started working for me on a regular basis. I'd be lost without her.

I roomed with Ethel Merman. She and I were good friends from the
time I was a kid. I went to see all of her Broadway shows and she always
called me "Baby." I did a week of The Mike Douglas Show and asked her if
she would be one of the guests. Mike used to do an entire week with one
guest, and have all the guest's friends, family and so forth. So my dear
mother went on and showed the world the dress I wore when I was three.
Merman was happy to do the show with me. We sang the duet from Call
Me Madam, "You're Just in Love." That was one of the thrills of my lifeto sing with Merman.

She wanted to do Squares in the worst way-and I had to convince
them to put her on. They only used her about two times, and she was great
on the show. She was a great lady and I loved her very much. When she
came out to do Squares, I threw her a party at the house and she asked me
to invite Paul Lynde. She just loved him. Jonathan Winters was there, Pe ter Marshall, Vinnie Price-what a party! I became the Perle Mesta of the
San Fernando Valley!

With Ethel Merman

When Squares started its downward slide-after fourteen years, a
pretty good run-I wasn't on the show every week. I would be on about
once a month, so I started doing some dinner theater. Just straight plays... no
musicals. Then my mother had to have a gall bladder operation, so I had to
go back east to Jersey. My brother came in from Florida, and we were there
with her. While I was back east, I did The Tonight Show with Johnnybless him-and some other guest shots. I got a call from Bill Loeb saying
they wanted me to do Bye Bye Birdie in Dallas.

I said, "No, I don't want to sing."

He said there was no singing in the part of Mama. It was for two
weeks, with Roger Smith, Ann-Margret's husband. I told Bill I didn't want
to do it.

He said, "I've already okayed it."

I said, "Then you play it!"

What I didn't know was Dr. Levy had told Bill to put me to work and
keep me busy. Squares wasn't enough. I was still going home alone and
remembering. It had been over a year by this time. Anyway, he talked me
into it and I said, "Okay."

My mother's operation went well and I stayed a few extra days. Then
I went back to California and got ready to go to Dallas. Mary Markham
and her husband, Gary, gave me some beautiful luggage for the trip. I
loved them for thinking of me. I took the wardrobe lady from The Dick
Van Dyke Show-she was called Margaret-with me and took my secretary at that time, Bill Kouski, whom I always called "Kuz." I didn't even
think about doing this show alone-I was scared stiff.

We rehearsed for a week, and Noop, Bernice, and Bill Loeb came to
the opening. It wasn't bad, but I wasn't happy with it. I finally discovered a
few little tricks I needed to make the part mine. It worked, so I was finally
happy with it.

I was staying at a residential hotel and hating it. Then Ben Gold
called me. He was the CEO of Nardis Clothes; they had supplied most of
our clothes on The Dick Van Dyke Show. Margaret, the wardrobe lady said,
"We have to meet him and thank him." If we ever liked any of his clothes
we wore on The Dick Van Dyke Show, he let us keep them. Because of him,
I had a wonderful wardrobe.

So two nights before I opened, he and his wife called and took me
out to dinner at another hotel. They were very nice to me, and the manager of the hotel came over to say hello.

He sat down and started talking-I kept saying to myself: "When is
he going to leave?" Little did I know it was the beginning of an affair not to
remember!!

AL Attaik-got to Qew>_ewlbex

He was Danish, he was a hotel manager, he was five foot ten and a half
inches tall, he was blonde, slight of build, had enough of an accent to be
charming, and very, very romantic. Let's call him Peter.

I met him that night with Ben Gold and his wife, Tina. After dinner,
while we were watching the so-called stage show, I said I had to get up
early for rehearsal, and Peter said, "Let's go to my room fora nightcap."

We all agreed, so we went up to his room in this hotel. It was a very
large suite of rooms. He was looking at me and looking at me. I felt very
uneasy. Eventually we left. Ben Gold decided that we would all have dinner at his house that Wednesday (this was Sunday) and then they would
drive me to the airport. I would miss one day of rehearsal and go home for
Noop's graduation, and then come right back.

I decided I hated where I was staying and I called Peter about getting
some rooms at his hotel, telling him that my daughter was coming, as well
as my manager, Bernice, and of course I needed rooms for Margaret, the
wardrobe lady, and my secretary, Kuz. Talk about star play!

Anyway, we all had dinner on Tuesday night. Ben always invited Peter. So Peter drove me to my hotel and said, "I'd like to see your rooms,
because you dislike them so much." So he came up in the elevator with me
and we went to my door. I opened it, he took a look around and said, "I see
what you mean."

I said, "Good night .... I have to get up early."

He looked at me (oh yes, steely blue eyes!) and said, "Thank you for
making me live again," and out he went.

Well, I wondered what that meant. I put my phone on "do not disturb" and went to bed, never figuring he would try to call when he got to
his hotel. The next day I got the message that he had called. Wednesday
night came and Peter picked me up at this dreary hotel. I had packed all
my bags and put them in Peter's car. I packed one bag to take with me to
Noop's graduation, and the rest Peter was going to take to his hotel. I
would check in when I got back.

We had a nice dinner at Ben's house. We talked about them coming
to the opening of the show. Ben had given them all the clothes for the
show. Bye Bye Birdie has a lot of young people in it, so I told him that was
very nice and he said, "I love doing that." He was a very special man. We
had a nice time and said good night and Peter drove me to the airport. I
told him I would be on the late afternoon plane the next day coming back,
and he said he would pick me up.

I went home and told Noop about him. She wasn't too thrilled. We
had a cup of tea and then the phone rang. It was Peter. Did I arrive okay?
What time tomorrow should he pick me up? He also said he missed me
already... and that was that.

The next day I went to Noop's graduation. It was lovely, and I was
quite proud of her. She was always a good student and that year she had
the lead in the school play, Wonderficl Town, and she was great in it. She
sings very, very well, but she never really pursued it.

If it hadn't been for Noop, Dolores Gray would not have been the
tremendous hit she was in London with Annie Get Your Gun. I was working Vegas and got a call from Frederick Brothers, which was a big agency at
the time, asking me to call them-important! So I called. It was for Annie
Get Your Gun, in London.

I said, "When?"

They said, "July or August." I was pregnant with Noop and I said I'd
call them when I came back into town.