Hold on to Me (9 page)

She sniffled once more. Drew up her shoulders and swiped at her tears. “Promise?”

He forced a smile for her, knowing there was no way he could ever love his own kid more than he loved her. “I promise.”

She sucked in a deep breath, then slowly let it out. And as her own lips curled into a forced smile, he knew nothing, not even nearly dying from a head wound, compared to the pain he felt at this moment.

Tears threatened, and he knew if he didn’t leave now, he might not be able to without making a total ass of himself. Careful not to look at Simone, he grabbed his bag from the ground, tapped Shannon on the nose, and beat feet for the doors.

Then told himself he was better off without them. Even if in his heart he knew that was a total lie.

N
othing eased the ache that had settled deep within her chest.

Simone set her mug of tea on the kitchen counter and ran her hand through her hair, replaying the scene in the airport for the thousandth time. The look on Mitch’s face when Shannon had raced after him and he’d caught her in that hug was something she was never going to forget.

She looked toward the stairs. Boxes littered the hallway that ran from the kitchen to the entry. After returning home from the airport, she’d told Shannon they didn’t need to resume packing, at least not yet. They’d talked some—about what Shannon had been thinking going up to Seattle, about how dangerous that had been, and about why it was so wrong—but Simone hadn’t laid into her daughter as she’d planned. Instead, they’d cuddled on the couch and watched a movie, and even now, after putting Shannon to bed, Simone couldn’t bring herself to box up anything else.

Was she jumping the gun? Uprooting Shannon and herself all because of her own stupid fears? Will had said they
knew
where she was. And not to give them anything
if
they came after her. That didn’t mean someone was actually coming after her, though. No one had shown up in the last two days, had they? It was highly possible all that meant was that someone was keeping tabs on her, for safety’s sake, even if she didn’t understand why. Besides, if someone
had
been looking for her, they could have easily found her the last three years. It wasn’t like she’d been in hiding. If the people Steve had turned on really wanted to find her, they could have done it long before now.

But the question still remained—why would they want to? She didn’t know anything. Steve had been careful not to tell her much about the case that had pushed him into running. And she’d hooked up with him after the fact anyway. That was why Will, the US marshal assigned to her case, had assured her it was okay for her and Shannon to leave the program after Steve’s death.

Her mind drifted back over the call as she dumped what was left of her tea into the sink and washed out her cup. She’d tried to call Will several times since then to get answers to her questions, but his phone kept going to voice mail.

“
You remember what I told you, right? Don’t forget it
.”

Her memory flashed to the day she’d had the moving van packed, ready to head west with Shannon. Will had come by to wish the two of them good luck. He’d placed his big hands on her shoulders, looked down at her and said, “
Fear is the biggest enemy. Remember that and you’ll make it through anything. If you jump without thinking, then they win. And the truth is, you’re nothing to these people. You’re not a threat
.”

Relief whipped through her, the kind that gave her strength. The kind that brought hope back to life. She’d been so freaked out by Will’s call, she hadn’t really listened to what he’d been telling her. Sure, she still wasn’t positive what had been going on in the background of that call, but he worked in law enforcement. It could have been any number of things. And in her gut, she knew if Will had wanted her to run, he’d have told her that outright. Instead, he’d been warning her to stay on her toes, just like he’d trained her and Steve to do when they’d been living in hiding. And she’d been so stupid, she’d reacted without thinking, just as he’d told her
not
to do all those years ago.

God, she’d made a mess of things when what she should have been doing was being thankful Will was reminding her not to get complacent.

Hand shaking, she wiped her palms on a towel and quickly moved through the kitchen and into the entryway, glancing up the curved stairs toward the second level, where Shannon lay sleeping. It was after eleven p.m. and part of her wanted to go up and make sure Shannon was still there. Another part told herself what Shannon had done, she’d done to try to help matters, not hinder them. If Simone wanted to repair her relationship with her daughter, she needed to start by trusting her.

She also needed to trust herself. Running wasn’t the solution she’d thought it to be only days before. Neither was yanking Shannon out of school and away from her friends, not when she’d finally acclimated to life without Steve. And as much as Simone had tried to convince herself over the months that her relationship with Mitch hadn’t yet impacted Shannon, she knew now that was a lie. There was no way she could tear Shannon away from Mitch after the bond she’d seen between them today at the airport.

Mitch
…

An ache spread beneath her ribs and twisted hard. The same damn knot that had taken up space there since she’d told Mitch that terrible lie.

She had to tell him the truth. She had to try to set at least some part of this right. Kate had said Mitch was one of the most understanding people she knew, and Simone believed that herself. If she could just talk to him and explain things, maybe then she could fix it. If not for her, then at least for Shannon.

She looked up the stairs toward Shannon’s open door. A dim green light from Shannon’s alarm clock shone through the darkness, followed by the steady deep breaths of her daughter, lost in sleep.

Before she could change her mind, Simone headed for the kitchen and reached for her phone from the counter. Paging through her contacts, she found the one she was looking for and clicked Call.

Her nerves hummed as she waited. She only had a few hours to make this work. If she missed the window and Mitch left for British Columbia, she might never have a chance to make it right.

“Melody?” she asked when the girl answered. “No, everything’s fine. I’m sorry to call so late. Listen, I was wondering”—hope spiraled through every cell in her body—“are you free for a few hours?”

T
wo dive bars in two nights was a little much, even for Mitch.

He swiveled on his seat and rested his forearm on the smooth bar top as he looked toward Mara—Lara? God, he couldn’t even remember her name—chatting with the bartender at the far end of the long mahogany counter.

She was new at the office. Pretty. Big blue eyes, long blond hair, a small waist and killer legs. He’d seen her a few times over the last few weeks but hadn’t paid her much attention. He was pretty sure she was an intern, but he couldn’t remember in what department. And honestly, before tonight, he hadn’t even cared.

He lifted the beer in his hand and took a long swallow as he watched her flip that mass of blond hair over her shoulder and laugh at something the bartender was saying. Pool balls clacked in the adjacent room, and some kind of ‘80s rock filtered from speakers hidden in the ceiling.

Jetting up to Seattle had been a spur-of-the-moment decision—and not a particularly smart one—but now that he was back in San Francisco, this time he was checking out the right way. They did need him up at the work site in British Columbia for the predrill assessment, but they needed him with his head screwed on right, not half-cocked and emotionally strung out as he’d been when he’d flown up to see Kendrick. So, after leaving the airport, he’d swung by the office to pick up his files and tell his boss he was finally heading up to the job site, and on his way out the door, he’d run into Lara or Mara or whatever the hell her name was. They’d chatted for a few minutes, then somehow he’d gotten sucked into having a drink with her before heading home.

He downed the rest of his beer and reached for the froufrou girly mixed drink she’d left sitting in front of her seat, then took a long swallow of that too. Vodka. He scrunched his face at the taste. He hated vodka, but it was better than nothing. He wasn’t looking to get drunk, but every time the girl laughed, it was like fingernails running down a chalkboard. Mitch couldn’t figure out just what it was about her that set him on edge, because she was totally hot, but tonight he didn’t want to care. Tonight he wanted to get a little drunk, a lot laid, and forget about Simone for good. Because after that scene in the airport, he was pretty sure that was the only way he was going to get his life back on track.

Lara smiled, said something to the bartender Mitch couldn’t hear, then locked eyes on Mitch and headed his direction. Her legs seemed to stretch for miles in those formfitting black skinny jeans, her breasts the perfect size as they peeked out from behind the tight pink blouse, and the predatory fuck-me gleam in her eyes told him if he wanted a wife for a night, she was all his.

His stomach tightened, but not in a good way. Not in the way it always did when Simone sent him that same smoldering look. He reached for Lara’s drink and downed the rest of it, barely even tasting the alcohol.

To his left, the bartender set two shot glasses on the bar and reached back for a bottle of Patron.

Lara placed both hands on his thighs and moved in close between his legs. Heat permeated his jeans but didn’t come close to exciting him. “I’ve been looking forward to this all day.” She lifted one hand from his leg, reached for the first shot, and handed it to him, then picked up her own. Clinking glasses, she said, “Here’s to new experiences. Cheers.”

She was talking about him leaving for three months to oversee the job site in BC, which they’d talked about on the drive to the bar. Or maybe she was talking about the two of them hooking up. Regardless, Mitch downed the shot in one swallow. The tequila warmed his chest and settled hard in the pit of his stomach. Heat rushing all through his belly, he set the glass down. Before he could say anything, Lara laughed. To the bartender, she said, “Another.”

Voices and music echoed around him. The combination of beer and vodka and tequila was definitely spiraling to his head. When Lara chuckled at Mitch’s facial expression after the second shot, he realized her laugh wasn’t all
that
bad. And her hand still resting on his thigh, slowly stroking the soft denim, was absolutely having some kind of impact on his libido, even if it wasn’t the shot of wicked-hot desire he always felt whenever Simone barely touched him.

Simone
…

His chest squeezed tight, and that same ache he’d been living with the last two days reformed right beneath his breastbone, stealing his breath.

Shit. She doesn’t need you. She doesn’t want you. If she regretted anything, she could have tried to talk to you at the airport, but she didn’t. Don’t think about her. Just focus on the hot bod all but sitting in your lap, offering to fuck your brains out right this very second
.

He slid his arm around Lara’s waist and pulled her in closer. Her hair tickled his nose and some floral scent filled his senses. “You wanna get out of here?”

She eased back and smiled a sexy, I’m-gonna-rock-your-world grin. “Oh yeah. After one more.”

She hollered at the bartender, and the guy lined the glasses up again. This time doubles. A little voice in the back of Mitch’s head said this was a bad idea, that Mara or Lara or whatever her name was could obviously drink him under the table and that he should be careful, but he ignored it. Reaching for the glass, he downed the double in one long swallow.

Before he’d even set the glass down, she closed her hand over his on the bar. “Let’s go.”

He let her lead him out of the bar. His head spun as he stepped through the open door into the cool November air, reminding him hard alcohol wasn’t his friend. Beer he could do. And wine. But shots had a history of getting him in trouble.

He must have swayed, because Lara plucked the keys from his hand. “I’ll drive. We have to go to your place, though, because my roommate will be at mine.”