Hold Me Close (16 page)

She had no idea how long she lay there with Shane touching her everywhere. She came down from the high of her orgasm, but she wasn’t done. Her body craved more. She opened her eyes and found him staring at her. “That was amazing.”

“I’m glad.”

She tugged his arm. “But I want you. Inside me.”

He didn’t move, but continued to gently caress her with his fingertips.

“Preferably now, Shane.”

He shifted away from her toward the head of the bed. “I think you should be on top.”

Not that she minded being on top, but she wasn’t all that sure of herself, and part of her really liked him taking control.

“If you’re on top, you can stop the second something doesn’t feel right. There’s no way for you to feel trapped.”

She nodded but didn’t say anything. Her body craved his touch and longed for him to be inside her. But she wished she could tell him he didn’t make her feel trapped. She turned and saw his hard-on curving up on his belly. She crawled toward him and he groaned.

On her path up the bed, she ran her tongue over his balls and up the length of his dick. His hands fisted in the blanket. She took him in her mouth and swirled her tongue over the head. His hips jerked. Part of her wanted to make him come like this, but she was selfish. She wanted all of him for her.

She reached over and grabbed a condom from the nightstand where he’d tossed one earlier. She opened the package, but he took it from her and rolled it on. On her knees, she moved forward and grabbed his dick. Moving it along her wet slit, she bumped her clit and realized how turned on she was. She could’ve just done that a couple more times and come again.

Shane hissed and she smiled before doing it again. As much as she wanted to prolong that sweet torture, she wanted him inside her more. She placed the head at her entrance and eased down.

It hurt. She hadn’t expected that. It didn’t hurt a lot, so she pressed down a little farther. Shane held her hip with one hand, his fingers making indentations in her flesh. He licked the thumb of his other hand, reached between them, and began massaging her clit again.

She dropped her chin to her chest as he created small circles that rippled pleasure through her. Her hands braced on his chest and she felt his hips raise. He entered her slowly, taking his time. She stretched from within until she was gloriously full.

She sat still for a minute and enjoyed the sensation. Then she opened her eyes and looked at Shane.

“You okay?” he whispered.

Not sure if she could form words, she nodded. His thumb pressed against her clit, and she needed to move. She rose a little and dropped back down, her muscles slightly burning with the movement, but it felt so damn good. Shane moved both hands to her hips, and she expected him to drive into her, but he just held on. Every movement was hers. Every thrust. Every grind. Every wiggle.

She picked up the pace, unsure if she could come again but needing to know he would. She stayed close to his body and slid back and forth, riding the length of him. She grabbed his hands and moved them to her chest. He took direction well. He kneaded her breasts and lightly pinched her nipples.

She was getting close again, but she couldn’t read Shane. She had no idea how close he was. Leaning down, which knocked his arms away from her, she kissed him hard.

“God, I’m close, Shane.”

“So let go.”

She shook her head. “Come with me. I don’t know. . . .” Her thoughts blurred. After a slow inhale. “I don’t know if I can again.”

“You want to?”

She slapped his chest. “God, yes.”

With a hand on her cheek, he kissed her. “Touch yourself. I’ll take care of the rest.”

Their eyes locked again, like they had earlier. He continued to kiss her and while his tongue was in her mouth, she snaked a hand between them and rubbed her clit. Stars spiked behind her eyes. Shane thrust into her hard and fast. She felt his hips lifting off the bed, but he held on to her. This time when she came, she had no words. Air froze in her lungs.

But a moment later, Shane stiffened beneath her and he stopped kissing her. His dick pulsed inside her and she laid her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. The racing thump comforted her as she caught her breath.

They were wet and sticky and panting, but she had no desire to move. She’d discovered perfection.

Shane’s hand smoothed over her back, his rough palm slightly scratchy. “Still okay?” His voice was quiet, and he sounded like he was still out of breath.

“Yeah.” She followed with a nod and slid away from his body.

He kept his hand on his dick, holding the condom in place as he stood to get rid of it. She watched him walk out her bedroom door and close it behind him. A sudden spike of panic struck her again.

No. I will not let this happen. This was good. Nothing is going to take this from me.
She squeezed her eyes shut and thought of Shane. He would be back in a minute. The fear subsided.

When she reopened her eyes, she briefly wondered what Dr. Janzen would say about her using Shane as a calming device.

But she didn’t have time to ponder the thought, because Shane was back through the door with a glass of water.

While he’d been in the bathroom and then the kitchen, Shane had convinced himself when he came back to the bedroom, he would know what to say or do. His body moved on autopilot, closing the door behind him, which was good because his brain fuzzed out looking at Maggie lying naked on the bed waiting for him.

He shook his head. No, she wasn’t waiting for him. She was just lying in bed after having sex. He had to remind himself she wasn’t yet his. But if that round of sex didn’t convince her how good they would be together, he had no idea what would. He strode to the bed and handed her the glass of water.

“Congratulations,” he said, and immediately regretted it, but he couldn’t undo the stupid word.

“You weren’t so bad yourself.” She propped on an elbow, took the water, and gulped down half the glass. Then she held it out to him before flopping back down on her stomach.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He sat beside where she lay. He spoke and struggled to keep his eyes on her face instead of on the naked curve of her ass. “No matter what you use to measure the definition of sex, I think you accomplished that tonight.”

She reached across and wrapped her fingers around his. “
We
accomplished it.” She pressed her lips together, then said, “Thank you.”

Her thank-you wasn’t quite as stupid as his congratulations, but it irked him. Did she think he was looking for gratitude? He’d just had some of the most amazing sex of his life and she was tossing off a thank-you.

“Mmm . . . I forgot how sleepy great sex makes me.” Her eyes fluttered closed.

Shane watched for a minute, trying to decide if he should stay or go. He wanted more than anything to stay, but he didn’t want to push things. Well, yeah, he did, but he didn’t want to freak Maggie out. And he’d stayed last night, so tonight shouldn’t matter.

“Come to bed,” she mumbled. “And turn out the light.”

He stretched out next to her and reached for the light switch. Before plunging the room into darkness, his gaze coasted over her bare body. He’d agreed to a single attempt at sex, but now he had no idea how he could continue on without this, being with her in every way.

He flipped the switch and settled against the pillows, which smelled of Maggie’s shampoo. She rolled over and snuggled against him while pulling at the blanket to cover herself. Shane sat up and snapped the blanket over both of them, even though he wasn’t cold. He just wanted to be as close to her for as long as possible.

Shane did his best to control his thoughts and relax enough to sleep. Instead, he began to plan his conversation with Maggie explaining why they should be a couple. So many things flashed into his head that he knew he would sound insane if he said them at once. It would be so much easier if she had given him some hint of what she was thinking.

Was it possible she could have sex with him and not feel the connection they had?

Shit. He thought thinking like a shrink was bad, but now he sounded like a chick. What the hell had Maggie done to him?

He turned to his side and breathed in her scent. His brain finally turned off, and as he began to doze, Maggie shifted and got off the bed. He assumed she needed to go to the bathroom, but she went to the door, fumbled around, and then returned to bed. Was she sleepwalking? Then he realized she was checking the door again.

She said nothing, but climbed back in beside him and hugged her pillow.

He could definitely get used to this.

Maggie woke in the morning, feeling sleepy and a little sore. She rolled over and looked at Shane, who was snoring beside her. Something felt right waking up beside him and she didn’t know what to do with that feeling. This was Shane and she’d woken up with him before. Over the years, they’d spent the night together after watching movies or after a party.

This was different. Last night changed something, even more than the previous night. She’d known the possibility existed that having sex might change things between them, but she had faith that they could make sure it didn’t impact their relationship. In truth, she didn’t believe she’d be able to follow through and have sex.

Holy crap! She’d had sex. And it had been good—more than good. She hadn’t felt frozen or trapped or freakish at all last night. She did it.

Dr. Janzen had been right. If Maggie took the time to get to know a guy and really trust him, she could have a positive sexual relationship. She could ultimately find what her siblings had. She could eventually have a husband and kids—not that she was in any hurry. It was the knowledge that it was a possibility that made her a little giddy.

Armed with her new knowledge about herself, Maggie eased out of bed without waking Shane. She looked over at him. He’d been perfect. He’d given her what she needed. Only for one night, she reminded herself. A slight pain poked her heart. Nothing should hurt. It all went according to plan. She wanted to face her day and figure out what to do next. She was back on the market for a boyfriend. Thinking it didn’t make her feel any better, but she had to keep the momentum going so she didn’t lose ground.

She gathered clothes and went to the bathroom to shower and dress for the day. It was family dinner day today. Maybe she’d talk to Moira for ideas about where to find a good date. But if she did that, Moira would guess that Maggie had had sex and she’d want details. Maggie wasn’t sure if she wanted to share those details.

Something great happened last night and she wanted to keep it just for her.

By the time she got out of the shower, Shane was standing in his boxers in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee.

“You could’ve slept in. I would’ve brought you coffee.”

He made a face as he drank.

“My coffee’s not that bad.”

“Yeah, it is.”

She reached around him and filled her own cup. She was at a loss for what else to say and she didn’t like feeling that way. Talking with Shane had never been a problem and neither was being in silence with him. This shouldn’t be awkward.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Great.” She couldn’t hide her smirk. “Last night was . . . Wow. I never thought I’d be okay.” She sighed and set her cup on the counter. Just get it over with so they can go back to being Maggie and Shane. “I can’t thank you enough. Dr. Janzen was right. I just need to open myself up to a guy and trust him enough to take care of me. I have to have the tough conversations, but if I do, everything will fall into place.”

Shane’s face hardened while she talked, but then he smiled. It wasn’t a real smile, though.

“Something wrong?”

“No.”

But he didn’t expand. An uneasy feeling crawled over her. “What is it?”