Hold Me (13 page)

But picturing her in someone else’s embrace makes his blood boil. He doesn’t want anyone to touch her, even thought he knows he doesn’t have any right to feel that way. Without thinking, he finds himself on the way to his room. Making sure no one is around to see him, he finds his small stash of pills and puts one in his mouth. For a moment, he hesitates, rolling the pill over his tongue, but then he swallows and lies down on his empty bed.

Staring at the ceiling, he waits for the pill’s effects to start. But Lilith’s image keeps dancing in front of his eyes, and as he rolls over and buries his face into the pillow, he thinks he can smell Lilith’s hair, which is impossible because she’s never been in his bed. He slowly runs his hand across the covers, imagining Lilith’s soft skin under his fingers. He knows that he shouldn’t still be thinking about her, but this time he doesn’t feel hurt or upset.

She just exists in his mind like a vision, and there’s nothing around her; no pain, no feelings, no nothing. She’s just there. Caleb blinks, trying to clear his mind. As he hops to his feet, he decides to head out into the hallway. If Lilith doesn’t want to get out of his mind, he’ll have to make her. And maybe, just maybe, he’ll find a way to do that without getting himself in trouble. And even if he does get into trouble, what does it matter?

He’s slightly lightheaded, so the pill has to be already working its way to his head, especially when he hasn’t been taking his usual dose. Soon he’ll find a better thing to occupy his mind with, and Lilith will be gone forever.

I nervously tap my foot as I wait for Alessandra to appear. I have way too many questions and few answers, but I’m sure about one thing: Alessandra is somehow involved and knows more than she’s letting on. All I have to do is figure out what she knows without asking her directly, and that might not be the easiest thing in the world.

If I could get myself invited to one of those parties Katherine mentioned, then maybe I’d be able to see for myself if what happened to Katherine has happened to anyone else who works for Raphael or if things are different. Hell, all I need is the location of Raphael’s parties. It would be easier to report him to the cops. Maybe Katherine is wrong about Raphael’s connections.

Alessandra strolls toward me in a tight red cocktail dress, her hair slightly lighter than usual, and she looks radiant, her smile as wide as possible. “Hello, darling.” She leans toward me, and her red lips brush my cheek. “Did something happen? Your voice sounded a little edgy when you called me.” She takes a seat next to me and I wait until the waiter brings her favorite drink. She takes a long sip and sighs. “Aaah, this is life. So, what did you want to talk about? Does it have anything to do with Caleb?” She innocently bats her eyelashes at me.

“Kind of.” I shrug, giving her a shy smile. “I know you want to protect Caleb’s privacy, but I need to know something... He’s wonderful and I’ve had a really great time with him, but... I’m getting a bit bored, you know. I want to try something else. Something more exciting, perhaps. Do you know if Caleb has a friend or if he knows someone else who could spice up my nights?” If she’s working with Raphael, then she could get me anyone from his ring of prostitution.

Alessandra gives me a long look. “Sure. I know some people.”

“Anyone good-looking?” I grin. “I can find ugly, unskilled men at every corner. I want something better.”

“Of course,” Alessandra says, pulling out her phone. “What about this guy? He’s very hot and he’s good with his fingers.”

I take a quick look at the phone and see the guy’s face is gaunt and there’s a strange gleam in his red-rimmed eyes. Could this be Raphael’s secret? Turning good-looking drug addicts into prostitutes? But for how long could they keep working and looking good if they kept using drugs? Maybe it depends on the type of the drug. “No, he’s not really my type.”

“What about him?” She swipes to the next photo. The guy is very handsome, with spiky dark hair and deep blue eyes, but his jaw is clenched, his whole posture stiff.

“Maybe,” I say. “He looks a little... I don’t know... too rough?”

“Oh, he wouldn’t be unless you wanted him to.” She winks at me, then frowns. “Maybe there’s something else you’d like.”

“Is it another hot guy?” I ask, but she just shakes her head.

“Do you just want to have sex or you want some real fun?”

I tilt my head. “Define fun.”

“You know those parties I’ve been telling you about?”

“You mean the ones with lots of sex involved? The ones you need a special invitation to?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I mean. And you don’t need to have sex in front of everyone if that’s what bothers you. You can just watch... That can be entertaining in itself. I promise you. Sex isn’t everything.” There’s an unusual shine in her eyes, but I’ve got her exactly where I want her.

“Sounds interesting, but I’m not sure. Who’d invite me to such a party?”

“I would.” She leans forward. “My membership has been extended because I’ve been very helpful and brought in many new members. I can take you to one so you can see for yourself if it’s something you’d enjoy or not.”

“I don’t know.” I try to look indecisive. “What exactly happens there? You just watch people have sex or what?”

“Oh, dear, you’re so wrong about everything.” She laughs. “Now you can’t refuse my offer. I insist you come with me to the next party.”

“But...” No matter how much I want to go to the party, I have to hide my excitement. If Alessandra becomes suspicious, my whole plan will fail. I can’t let that happen. I have to be very careful about this, especially considering what Katherine told me.

“No buts. Nothing I say will show you the real magic. You have to see it, feel it...” Alessandra tilts her head back, and half closes her eyes. I’m starting to wonder if she’s taken some drug before she came here. Finally, she opens her eyes and straightens her back. “You can leave any time you want if it’s not for you. You don’t even have to pay anything this time... Well, unless you decide you want a piece of something.”

“But who else will be there? I don’t want people to see me at such a party. No offense to you or anyone, but the press would kill for an article about me visiting some sex club.”

“Don’t worry about that. All guests wear masks. No one will be able to recognize you. And I assure you, all participants are carefully chosen and they’d never want their private affairs out in the open, just like you. Your discretion is assured.”

I’m not quite sure about the masks, but I still have to go. “Okay, I’m willing to give it a shot. When and where is the party?”

“Not so fast, my dear. I still need to consult my... the host,” she says. “I’m sure he’ll agree and there won’t be any problem, but I need to be sure.”

“Um, okay, so will you call me when you hear back from the host?” I ask.

“Sure. I’ll come and pick you up. The location is kind of a secret, so I’ll escort you there personally. You don’t have to worry about anything.”

“What about the dress code? Do I have to wear something specific?”

“No. Wear whatever you want, but make sure it’s something elegant. You don’t want to be mistaken for one of the workers.” She smiles.

“Right.” I’m not even sure what she means, but something must have shown on my face because Allie reaches out for me and places her hand over mine.

“I was just joking. No one could ever mistaken you for one of the workers,” she says. “But you can dress as you usually do when you go to a party. I’m sure the host will appreciate it.”

“Can I know who the host is?”

“In time.” She winks. “He’ll be there. You’ll probably like him. He’s a man with a vision and he knows what people want. A very charismatic man, actually.”

“Okay.” I assume she’s talking about Raphael, because who else could be hosting the party? “Will Caleb be there?”

“Yeah, I believe he will. Why?” She narrows her eyes at me. “Will that be a problem? I assure you no one will know what happened between you and him. He won’t mention it to anyone.”

“I was just wondering.” I wave my hand in dismissal. “Watching him could be fun.”

“Oh, trust me. It is.” She closes her eyes for a moment, smacking her lips together. “He has the most beautiful eyes, doesn’t he?”

“I guess he does, but I prefer blue eyes,” I lie. I don’t want her to know that I actually like Caleb. “Still, Caleb knows what he’s doing, so...”

“Blue, huh? There’s a guy with blue eyes who’ll be there, but he... he’s into some really crazy stuff. You might like that.”

“I don’t know. I guess we’ll see.” I raise my glass and clink it against Alessandra’s, and she smiles at me.

“I know you’ll have a great time. Just remember that you don’t have to be shy or embarrassed about anything. The party is where all your dreams and fantasies should come true and be celebrated.”

My stomach twists because there’s something about the way Alessandra talks about the party that unnerves me. But what do I know about people’s fantasies? Maybe it’s something totally harmless and consensual. Katherine’s kidnapper could be an exception, and yet I have a hard time believing that.

My hands are unsteady as I apply another layer of my pinkish lip gloss. Alessandra called me unexpectedly an hour ago and told me to get ready, which caught me completely off guard because it is Wednesday, and I’m not sure why I didn’t expect the party to be anytime other than during the weekend. Still, as I slip into my black high heels and pat down my cream cocktail dress adorned with shiny sequins, I wonder what will happen and what I’ll see at the party.

Chances are that I won’t see anything out of the ordinary, just get completely uncomfortable because people will be having sex in front of my eyes. I don’t know if Caleb will be there, and I wonder if he’d recognize me. What would he think if he saw me? Would he even want me to be there? The intercom buzzes and I see Allie waving at me on the screen. I grab my purse and hurry to the door.

Alessandra’s driver takes us to the other end of the city, and I try to memorize the way, but I feel like we’re circling around. I’ve rarely been in this area, and I’m not sure I can recognize the street. Alessandra keeps chatting about nonsense and distracting me, and I can’t stare out the window all the time, so I focus on her.

“I love your dress,” I say, surprised that my voice doesn’t come out forced. The dress is nice actually. It’s dark blue with a black piece in the middle, and it clings to her curves perfectly.

“Thanks. You look lovely too.” She opens her purse and searches for something. When she finds it, her face looks triumphant. Revealing a white pill in her hand, she immediately gulps it down. I just stare at her. She then offers me a small bag, and I gingerly take the pills, inspecting them. I don’t know what those round white things are, but they look just like Caleb’s. Maybe they’re the same thing, and Caleb and Allie just have different ways of earning the money to buy them.

“What are these?” I lift the bag up. I can’t exactly steal and hide one when she’s sitting right next to me.

“Oh, just a little something to help you relax. You can take one. I promise it’s not dangerous.” Her smile is wide.

“No, thanks.” I return the pills to her and watch her shrug and stuff them into her purse.

“Suit yourself. If you change your mind, just ask.”

If I can get the opportunity, maybe I can snatch the pills from her at the party when she’s too busy to notice. Then I could take one and get it analyzed somewhere. Actually, if Raphael’s dealing them, then it might be easier to get him arrested. Then again, maybe it’s not Raphael. Maybe it’s one of his friends. They could be all working together for mutual benefit.

The car suddenly stops, and I realize we’re in front of a brightly lit building. It’s a casino and a hotel of some kind, not some creepy abandoned house that I might have expected. It is apart from all the other buildings though, and surrounded by a fence. I can see people in expensive clothes milling around. “Wait, how big is this party?”

“Oh, most of the people here aren’t invited and don’t know what they’re missing.” Alessandra laughs. “The party is just being hosted here, you know, for better discretion. If someone sees you around here, they’re going to assume you came to the casino or to the hotel.”