Hold: Hold & Hide Book 1 (9 page)

“This was an example,” Sir Anthony said, “of failure. Take note, okay? This is not the way to do this.” Someone escorted Audrey toward the door as he continued, “We want to see power and a will to survive. Ready?”

Some of us nodded. Some of us didn’t. You can guess what I did and you’ll be right. 

“201,” he said. “You’re next.”

Blake turned to me. “Don’t think less of me.”

“Wait!” I raised my hand like we were taught in school.

“Yes, 413?”

My cheeks flushed and my palms shook as sweat formed. The accelerated thump of my heart loudened in my ears and throbbed in my neck. “Never mind. I’m sorry.”

They took Audrey into the room with a sign on the door that said,
Losing Your Mind is the First Step to Finding It.

I wanted to take her place, but when he looked at me I lost the desire behind a heavy coating of fear.

“You’re a horrible sister,” Mother’s voice disturbed me. “Selfish. How could you not take her place?”

Blake also chose a chicken. I counted those of us left standing. Thirty one. And there were only three chickens left. What if I got stuck with a cow? Or worse.

Blake immediately took the chicken into his hands, looked at the ceiling, and broke the poor thing’s neck. He didn’t wait for it to stop shaking to start skinning it. He ripped the feathers with force, then peeled the skin from the chicken’s leg, held it down with his knee, and yanked the rest of the skin until he got every last bit off. I bet his Dad taught him that over the summer. He was a big hunter. Him and Brayden. Not Blake though. He didn’t even eat animals because he thought their lives were more important than his own, which I never quite agreed with, but still.

He held the skinned chicken to his chest, buried his face in it, and although no one else could tell ... I knew he was wetting the bird with his tears.

“Wonderful.” Sir Anthony tapped Blake’s back. “Everyone, this is an example of success. You may exit, 201. Thank you.”

But he didn’t move. He dropped the animal, then his knuckles turned white as he squeezed his face and howled like a wild bear. I ran and knelt beside him as he dug his nails into his cheeks. 

“Blake,” I said. “Stop. Look at me.” The whites of his eyes turned red. “Please, Blake.”

“Oh, isn’t that nice?” Sir Anthony said. 

I grabbed Blake’s hands as he screamed out in a tone so horrific even the animals quieted. He bent over, sobbed, and when he picked his head up he belted out, “Who am I?” And again. And then again as two men escorted him out, his feet dragging along behind him. They stopped at the door for those who “succeed,” snapped three times, whispered something in his ear, and immediately his legs straightened, his demeanor calmed, and he walked out of the room without their assistance. 

I watched the next person kill and skin another chicken with ease and I tried to tell myself to be numb, to turn off my emotions. I thought of Blake, then looked across the room to Brayden who looked like Blake. It didn’t make sense.

I should’ve taken Audrey’s place. I knew I’d be there myself anyway. At least only one of us would had endured more torture.

Torture. 

We were being tortured. 

A thousand thoughts sporadically entered my mind. Questions. Fears. Regrets.

“Stop!” I screamed. “All of this. What’s the point? Tell me the purpose. Why are we doing this? Why are we here?”

Sir Anthony congratulated the guy who skinned the chicken, then glided over to me in his usual strange way. I swear the man floated like a breeze when he swept across a room. Kinda like that Cinderella character. He stood close to me. So close I could smell his minty breath. 

I focused on the crumb between his two front teeth as he opened his mouth to speak. 

“The purpose is to develop fine leaders.” He looked up at everyone else, then back to me. “To equip you with the skills to change the world.”

“Change it into what?”

He squinted his eyes. “For your untimely outburst, 413, I’d like you to go next. You have two minutes to skin the cow.”

“But everyone—”

“Two minutes.” He pointed. “The cow.”

I stepped forward and tripped, falling into a pancake on the ground by Elizabeth’s foot. I peered up at her as I stood back up. Obviously Emily’s sister hated me and I had no idea why.

I walked away from her squinty eyes and looked at the poor, helpless cow, feeling a bit like the cow myself. I didn’t want to change the world. I didn’t want to do their stupid assignments. I didn’t want the headaches and confusion and boring white bedroom. And most especially, I didn’t want to kill a cow. Or anything. 

But I didn’t want to die either.

“Nooooo!” someone screamed.

I turned, realizing it came from the room they took Audrey to. I didn’t want to find out what was beyond that door. At all.

The animals looked pensive. Almost seemed as though they were sick or had been starved for days. Sir Anthony chimed, “One minute,” as I looked around at the other kids my age and imagined them standing up there next. I didn’t want to be a part of it. I didn’t want anything to do with the entire thing anymore.

I glanced back at the two doors. My two options. What was worth more to me? Dying an honest person or living a lie?

I raised my shoulders, turned to Sir Anthony, and inhaled deeply. “I can’t do it.” I looked at the ground. “I mean ... I won’t. I won’t do it.”

I swear it looked almost like a smile tugged at his lips and a weird brightness glazed over his eyes. 

Emily covered her mouth with her hand and stared at me as the two men escorted me to the door that Audrey entered minutes ago. I shoved their hands, but they gripped tighter. 

“I can walk there myself,” I said. “Where would I run to anyway?”

They gripped even harder. 

“Wait!” a voice called. 

Red ran up to us. “I’ll take her place.”

“No, Red.” I tried to sound stern, but my voice cracked. How could he do for me what I couldn’t do for my own twin sister? My own twin sister. “Please don’t.”

“Let me take her place.” He looked back toward the crowd. “Anthony, let me take her place.”

Sir Anthony smiled and waved his hand for us to move on. “Take them both.”

The door opened and we were shoved inside an empty room with another door across the way. 

“Why did you do that?” I said to Red. 

He coughed. Totally fake too. “I just didn’t want to see you go through this.”

“Will they really skin us?”

The other door opened and Victoria entered. “Oh, look who we have here. If it isn’t the valiant Red prince and his damsel in distress.”

“I’m not a damsel.”

Red stepped toward her while looking at me.”Let’s just get this over with, okay?”

“We are waiting for the others this time.” She eyed me up and down. “Which part of her should we do?”

Red blinked slowly and his eyes filled with an emotion I couldn’t figure out. Victoria motioned for us to enter the other door. We followed. The room was small and dark, lit only with a single red light. Audrey sat in a chair blindfolded. Her hands wrapped around the back of the chair, tied together by rope so tight her wrists bled a little. Another rope twisted around her chest and the chair, then another held her feet together. She sat quietly, but even if she screamed it would had been muted by the cloth in her mouth. I wiped my sweaty palms on my arms, afraid to mess up my dress, and looked at Red for reassurance. He stared ahead without blinking. It seemed like his mind drifted to another place, a place beyond this room, beyond his body. 

I thought of my place. My room filled with books. My escape.

Three men entered the room with ropes. I closed my eyes and imagined the books tucked away in the shelves. So many books. I ran my fingers along a row of them until one caught my eye. I pulled it out, bypassed the title, and began to read, but a voice interrupted me.

“She’s gone,” the man said. “She’s disassociated.”

“Good,” Victoria said. “Now, let’s get her in the chair.”

I kept my eyes shut and tried to focus on the books, but the voices kept finding their way in. 

“Has Red disassociated?” the man said. 

A pause, then Victoria responded, “Looks like it. He goes fast. This other 413 is more difficult. Something about her is different.”

“Not when we’re finished with her.”

I opened my eyes. “Hello.” I faked a smile. “Any idea when you may be finished with me?”

They looked at each other and rushed to blindfold me.

“I told you,” Victoria whispered. “She has developed a mild resistance. Sir Anthony believes it’s due to a weakened prefrontal cortex and he is worried it will only increase.”

Prefrontal cortex? Weakened?

I opened my mouth to speak, but they shoved a cloth around my face and in my mouth. Perfect timing. 

The door opened.

“Got the knives,” someone said. 

The books appeared again. I found one and began to read the story as fast as possible. 

They were only children. Audrey walked into Claire’s room, wanting to play the game where she pretended to be a princess and Claire pretended to be an evil dragon, but Claire didn’t want to play the dragon again.

Audrey tugged Claire’s hair and pulled her off of her bed so that she scraped her spine on the wood. Claire burst into tears and Audrey screamed until tears came out of her own eyes.

“Mommy!” she yelled. “Mommy! She hit me.” Audrey punched her own face twice. “She’s hurting me!”

Claire imagined a far off place. A beach with frothy waves lapping on the sandy shore. Blake smiled at her. She smiled back as she dipped her body into the cool salt water and leaned back. The sky welcomed her with an open hug as she floated and drifted away. Further and further and further away. 

Josephine woke me up from a nap. Her voice comforted me like a warm embrace. I needed a friend right now and she was always there, ready to talk whenever I felt alone. Like now. 

I sat up in bed and made sure blood didn’t seep from the bandage on my arm. I couldn’t remember how I got hurt, but it looked as though the skin on my arm had been burned. For days I tried to figure out what caused it. If it was an accident or if someone intentionally hurt me, but even the books in my mind wouldn’t give me the answer. 

Josephine told me not to worry about it and to focus on other things, like the future. She helped me get through a very depressing few days of being locked in my room.

Today, she woke me up with the words, “You are not alone.”

“Will I be getting out of my room today?” I said. 

“Yes.” She smiled. “You have an assignment today. A very important one that cannot be missed.”

Oh, no. “Okay. When do I leave?”

“Time is unknown. We must wait until the current set of twins complete their assignment. You and Audrey are next in line.”

“Is it a hard one?” I closed my eyes and tried to imagine the previous assignments. “Have I been doing well?”

“You’re tired. You may want to get some more rest before they call you downstairs. I can play some relaxing music for you, if you’d like.”

“That would be nice, thanks.”

She disappeared and covered the screen with an image of ocean waves. Light music mixed with the sound of waves crashing into the shore. I closed my eyes and pictured myself there and before long a dream began.