Hitman's Captive: A Bad Boy Romance (13 page)

Though I guess she’s
getting that even without the book.

Instead of saying any of
that, I finally shifted away from her with a muttered comment about the things
I still needed to sort before leaving for Chicago, and she nodded. There was a
brief moment of awkwardness, but I disappeared into the bathroom before it
became noticeable. Surprisingly, my headache from yesterday was gone despite
the limited sleep, which made the idea of driving to Chicago a little more
palatable.

When I re-entered the
bedroom, Alessa was still wrapped up in the covers, dozing a little. Her eyes
opened as she noticed me, and she yawned.

“I think I might sleep in
a little more. It’s still only friggin’ dawn, and unlike you I’m not a morning
person. Plus, the only thing I have to wake up for is solitaire - and I’m damn
sick of that game.”

I caught myself smiling
at her grumbling.

“I’m not a morning person
either, princess. Unless you count the
dead of night
kind of morning.
But needs must - and maybe if I get done with all this, I could even play some
blackjack with you before we leave.” My voice was amused, but without the
mocking tone it so often held.

“Whoopee.” I caught the
sarcastic mutter as I grabbed my laptop and took a seat in the corner armchair.
Her eyes flew open as I opened it up.

“You’re not going to sit
in here and watch me?!” She drew the covers up self-consciously, as if she’d
somehow forgotten that I’d just spent the whole night pressed up against every
part of her warm body.

And you’d better forget
that too, idiot.

“You think I’m going to
leave you here alone, princess?” I chuckled as she ground out a curse of
frustration and turned away from me. “But no, I wasn’t quite thinking of
watching
you
- unless, of course, that’s what you’d like?”

That didn’t seem to
warrant a response beyond turning decisively away from me, so I looked back at
the laptop with a smile. Maybe I’d relaxed the
not letting you out of my
sight
rule a little yesterday - especially when she’d seemed to give up on
looking for any opportunity to run off, but I wasn’t going to abandon it
altogether.

Even if that meant focusing
on the few remaining arrangements I needed to make was that much harder.

* 
*  *

We never did play
blackjack before I locked up the safehouse for good. I was too busy making sure
the place was in a fit state for someone else to close it up and pass it on,
with nothing untoward remaining. I was sure it would be traced back to me
eventually, but by then I expected it to be as nondescript and unhelpful as
possible. Alessa hadn’t seemed interested in my offer of blackjack, anyway.

We drove to Jay’s in relative
silence, part of me still distracted by the thought of leaving the country for
good, and the other finding it hard to deal with being around Alessa after last
night.

Knowing what it was like
to feel her body pressed up against mine simply made things
different
now.

I’d had to fight not to
laugh when I saw her don the large hat and sunglasses, too. She looked like one
of those models wearing what you
knew
was a ridiculously bad-looking
ensemble, but who made it seem effortless and perfectly inspired just because
she was so damn hot. I tried not to think about that too much. At least it
slightly improved the chances of her not being recognized by a random on the
street. Slightly.

We made it to Jay’s by
mid-afternoon, and sure enough - he’d come through for me. I exchanged the keys
to my Mercedes with his run-of-the-mill Toyota Prius and to my surprise he
stepped forward to clap me on the back, muttering at me to be careful. I nodded
somewhat awkwardly, before having the slightly disturbing thought that I might
not see him again, and gave him a brief embrace back. I’d never quite been able
to understand the exact nature of our relationship, but I was surprised to find
I was disconcerted at the idea of him disappearing from my life. He’d been the
most solid fixture - hell, the
only
fixture - since I was a kid.

And that’s why you don’t
rely on that. No guarantee anyone will always be there.

I pushed the thought away
and stepped into the Toyota without another word, turning my attention to the
long drive ahead as Alessa slipped in beside me.

We were both quiet as I
navigated through the New York traffic, and even through my distracted thoughts
and plans I could feel the air start to thicken between us. Alessa seemed to
notice at the same time as I did, and flicked the radio on to break the
stillness.

The gaudy pop music that
came on wasn’t anything that I’d usually listen to, but I was glad for the
chance to reflect without it becoming awkward. I felt my background irritation
at being forced to travel with someone else ease slightly, grateful that she at
least seemed to know how to deal with having the company.

It was only after we’d
been traveling down the I-80 for an hour or so that I started to find my own
thoughts uncomfortable. Long journeys always gave me too much time to think,
and after last night my mind kept returning to the woman sitting quietly beside
me, staring out of the window on her side. I’d thought it would be the idea of
leaving the country that I’d find myself dwelling on, but I was starting to
adjust to that. Leaving with unfinished business still grated, but I would have
been dead long ago if I didn’t know when to pick my fights.

There was nothing for me
here anyway - I’d made sure of that. Pick another country with similar climate
and start it all up again - there were women, booze and hits anywhere in the
world. Hell, I could even improve on the climate while I was at it. And maybe,
as Jay said, I’d come back eventually.

Only for once, the idea
of shifting countries as I’d so easily shifted cities in the past, and taking
up exactly what I’d spent my whole life dooing…didn’t seem so appealing. And as
I stopped myself from glancing over at Alessa
yet again
, I wondered
whether she might be the reason for my reluctance.

I’d never regretted any
of my kills - hell, once they were done I barely even thought about them beyond
analyzing the hit for any potential weaknesses. Regret was a waste of time, and
I was pretty sure most of the guys I’d killed deserved it - even if only for
being weak enough to let it happen. That had always been my philosophy, and I
still believed every word of it.

And Viktor…if any of them
deserved to die, the Russian mafia boss did. But Alessa’s involvement had made
me uneasy about it anyway. I was used to the rough underworld I lived in, but
she didn’t fit there at all. Maybe she was a mafia princess, but when I looked
at her, all I saw was innocence.

I was pretty sure that
night had been the first time she’d seen anyone killed, and I didn’t like that I’d
been the one to show her how ugly the world really was. Any other day, I
would’ve believed stripping someone of that naive innocence would do them good,
but after seeing her last night…I found myself wanting the exact opposite. To
take it back and let her think that she was protected and safe. That murderers
and kidnappers didn’t exist.

It was stupid as fuck,
but the thoughts nagged at me anyway. And the idea of taking away someone she
was close to disturbed me…maybe I didn’t give two fucks about anyone else, but
I knew most people didn’t operate that way. Hell, I’d exploited it often enough
to know what those attachments could be worth.

I’d killed her fiance.
She’d handled the whole thing better than most people would have, but now that
I’d actually thought about it, I was surprised that she could even look at me.

My fingers drummed on the
steering wheel as I tried futilely to push it all away, to remind myself that I
had no reason to care about her - her life, relationships, the drama of my
kill, any of it. She was a hostage, kept with me to ensure her silence before I
left for good. That was all.

I knew I was lying to
myself even as I insisted on it, but I kept on. I couldn’t afford anything
else.

But that didn’t stop my
mind from circling like a hawk on Viktor’s death.

Why the hell do you
care?!

“Hey,” The quiet word was
out of my mouth before I could stop it, and Alessa swung around to look at me.
I stared out at the road instead of meeting her chocolate-colored eyes, but I
continued anyway, adjusting the radio volume down so we could talk even as
everything inside me screamed at me to stop. “I’m sorry, you know. About
Viktor.”

I shrugged awkwardly,
still fixing my gaze on the uninteresting landscape ahead of us, refusing to
see whatever shocked or hurt expression crossed her face. I could still feel
her staring at me, and the silence between us thickened. My peripheral vision
registered the moment she turned away from me to stare out of the window again,
not saying anything, and my blood pounded hard in my veins.

“Were you close?” My
idiocy continued unimpeded, propelled by some twisted desire to both torture
myself and to know more about her. About what I’d taken from her.

Fuck.

I didn’t even want to
know the answer to that question. I didn’t want her to have to think about it.
But I couldn’t stop myself.

She turned back to me,
still out of the corner of my eye, and I could almost sense her incredulity. I
was being an asshole, I knew. Even more than usual. But for once, it wasn’t
even coming from that asshole place inside of me.

She said nothing for a
long moment, and I decided to shut up about it. There was no reason that my
comments on that subject could be welcome, and I didn’t want to bother her
anymore.

“That was the first time
I met him.” She gave a humorless laugh, but I didn’t think it was directed at
me.

I blinked in confusion
for a moment. And she already knew she was going to marry him? I guessed maybe
the mafia families were old-fashioned like that - marrying off for alliances.
I’d never thought about marriage at all before, let alone among the mafia
elites.

“Did you want to marry
him?” I couldn’t help my curiosity, however ill-placed it might be.

“I’m the daughter of the
Italian mafia -
want
doesn’t come into it.” The mocking tone didn’t
sound like her at all, and I glanced over to see her shake her head, as if
mentally correcting herself.

I’d amused myself before
by thinking of her as spoiled and innocent, but that comment made me wonder
whether her life had actually been as easy as I’d imagined. I wanted to comment
on it, but decided my previous plan to shut up about the whole thing was
better. This wasn’t a conversation I should be having.

At least maybe his death
wasn’t so traumatic, then. Maybe.

She turned back to stare
out of the window and I let it go, but her voice came again a few minutes
later. “I keep thinking I should care that he’s dead. But instead all I can
think about is how I didn’t get to have that first time…”

The last part was
muttered and it took me a moment to register it.

“What?”
I
swung my head around to stare at her, my eyes leaving the road for the first
time this trip.

She can’t have said what
I thought she did.

She can’t have.

“Nothing.” She started as
she noticed me again, her whole face turning red. “It was nothing. I didn’t say
anything.”

She shifted her whole
body away from me, leaning her head against the window and then resolutely
ignoring me. Her cheeks were still flaming red, and I struggled to turn my
attention back to the road. That answer only confirmed what I thought I’d
heard.

She’s not…she can’t
be…can she? Fuck.

All the hot, dirty things
I wanted to do to her. Still want to do to her. Fuck.

My cock hardened and
pressed against my jeans, making me shift in my seat as I clutched the steering
wheel harder. There was something so god-damn hot about knowing that.

I’d been drawn to that
wide-eyed innocence all along, but now that I knew she was a
virgin
it
was all I could do to restrain myself.

All thoughts of Viktor
had disappeared, swept up in a sudden burning lust that I just
knew
was
going to drive me crazy for the rest of the journey.

Unable to help myself, I
sent a dirty grin in her direction. “Well, princess, my offer still stands - if
you want to find out what you’re missing out on.”

I was gratified by the
faint shiver that ran through her, before her hand flicked out and turned the
volume on the radio up
loud.

I grinned to myself and
took the hint, focusing on the drive again. It didn’t stop my imagination from
spiraling out of control at those words, picturing just how I’d make a perfect
first time. I’d never been the slightest bit interested in virgins before.
Girls with experience knew what they were doing - you didn’t have to spend time
reassuring them, coaxing them into something that was just a little harmless
fun, or worrying about the weight of that responsibility.