Hit & Mrs. (22 page)

They gave chase for about fifteen blocks before they lost them.

Blue scurried along 5th Avenue until he got to 97th Street, where he turned right into Central Park. He had to go to the first walkway. He carried the coke and the bear inside his jacket, which made him look pregnant. He ran up to where Flea and Tony were supposed to meet him. He looked around, but there was no one there except a guy who looked like a shark and another guy who looked like a sneering bouncer.

They glanced at him and then looked away. Blue hopped up and down to stay warm. Where was everyone? That stupid broad better not have told him the wrong address.

He waited for five more minutes. The other two waited as well. Finally the shark guy gave him a dirty look. “You waitin' for someone? If not, scram.”

Blue's head was pounding. There was no one around, no one but these guys. It suddenly occurred to him that maybe Flea and Tony had stayed behind to watch Starr. Maybe they sent these guys instead. He decided to risk it.

“Hey.”

The shark and bouncer turned at the sound of his voice.

“I am waitin' for someone.”

The shark said, “Like I care?”

“Someone who wants some stuff.”

“Stuff?”

“Yeah…stuff…and a bear.”

The shark and bouncer rushed over and grabbed him by both arms. “Did you say
bear
?”

Blue struggled, but he was no match for these two. “Yeah.”

The bouncer squeezed his arm.

“Hey, man, be careful. I've got the stuff. There's no need to get nasty.”

“Where it is?”

“In my jacket. Listen, where's Starr? What have you done with her?”

They ignored him. They ripped off the first two buttons of his jean jacket and grabbed the bear and the package of coke.

“What's this?” the shark said.

“It's a bear.”

The shark smacked him across the face. “What's in the package?”

Blue ears were ringing. “Your stuff, man. I'm delivering your coke. This is where we were supposed to meet, isn't it? I've done my bit. Now let Starr go. She's done nothing to you.”

The shark was still for a minute. “Where did you get this?”

“The usual courier.”

“Who told you to come here?”

“You did.”

Shark grabbed his shirt collar. “I talked to a woman on the phone. Who the fuck are you?”

“I couldn't reach the phone so a friend answered it, that's all. Don't hurt me.”

The shark let go and turned his back on them. He took a knife out of his boot and slashed the bear open. The stuffing fell around his feet as he ripped it to shreds. He turned around with a crazed look. Even the bouncer seemed afraid of him.

“Where's my bear?”

“I got you that one. You told me to do it, so I did. Please, you've got to believe me. You have your coke. Just let me go.”

The shark held his knife at the tip of Blue's nose. “There's no way in hell I'm letting you go. There's something going on here and I won't be made a fool of. Do you hear me?”

“I hear ya, I hear ya.”

Before he knew what was happening, Blue was being pulled along with the two men on either side of him. They walked at a fast clip, so fast that Blue stumbled a couple of times, but they kept right on dragging him down the street. They soon reached a van. The bouncer knocked on the back door three times. The door opened and they shoved Blue inside. He couldn't believe his eyes. Another bouncer, two old broads, a cute chick, and a baby all looked at him in surprise.

“Well, well,” said the fat broad. “Let's have a party, shall we? Did you bring dessert?”

Blue stared at her. That dope he had earlier must have been bad. There's no way this wasn't a complete and utter hallucination. It was almost enough to make him consider giving up weed altogether.

Linda and Bette held on to each other and trembled the entire time they were in the filthy car. The smell of tobacco and piss was enough to make them sick.

“Try and remember which way we're going,” Linda whispered in Bette's ear. “I have my guidebook in my purse. It's thanks to stupid Stuart that we're in this predicament. Why didn't he come after us?”

“To be fair, he did try to get you to call the police.”

“It's his fault anyway. Keep your eyes peeled.”

Bette nodded. There was nothing they could do but keep track of their surroundings, but they were soon hopelessly lost.

“Why are you doing this?” Linda ventured at one point. “We can't hurt you. We just want to go home to our families.”

“Shut up back there.”

Now Bette whispered in Linda's ear. “We still have the cellphone. We'll call for help when we get a chance.”

Linda nodded.

The car finally pulled up behind a rundown house. The men dragged the women out of the car and hustled them into the building as quickly as possible, then made them sit on kitchen chairs around a table that was littered with ashtrays, empty beer cans, and old pizza boxes. The stench of sour milk was overpowering, and the musty, filthy mop by the door didn't help matters.

“Tony, you stay here with the broads. I gotta call somebody.”

“Who?”

“You're too nosy for your own good.” The man with the buzz cut seemed to be the one in charge. He left the room with the bear in his hand.

Bette looked at their babysitter. “So you're Tony? What's the other guy's name?”

“Flea.”

“His name is Flea? Gee, I can't understand why.”

“Tony, you should let us go. We can't possibly help you,” Linda said.

Tony lit a cigarette and shook out his match. “Sure ya can. You can do the dishes.”

“Are you serious?”

Tony laughed. “You should see how serious I can get.” He walked over to Linda and grabbed her chin in his hand. “And I'm getting pretty serious about you.”

Linda tried to turn her face away, but he held on.

“You're hot. I think I could dig you. Would you like that?” He lowered his head and tried to kiss her.

Lucky for her, Flea walked back in. “Leave her alone. We've got trouble.”

Tony backed off, and Linda wiped her chin with the back of her sleeve and glared at him. Flea put the bear in the middle of the table and turned to Tony. “If we don't deliver by morning, they're coming after us.”

“Who?” Bette asked.

Flea gave her a look. “What's it to you? Shut your yap.”

Tony took another drag of his cigarette and then threw it in the sink. “Well, we don't got it all, that's for sure. It wouldn't fit in that.” He pointed to the bear.

Flea went to a drawer, opened it, and took out a knife. He reached for the bear and made a small incision in the seam. Then he pulled and ripped it up the side. A package dropped on the table. Everyone looked at it.

“What's this?” Flea grabbed the bag and peered at it. He paled. “Is this what I think it is?”

“What is it?” Tony said.

“Diamonds.”

“Holy shit.”

“You see,” Linda said. “They're all there. The bag was never opened. We never took any of them. They're all yours. All you have to do is let us and our friends go and you can take them. You'll never see us again.”

Bette joined in. “We'll never tell the police. We don't even belong here. We live in Canada. Once we cross the border, we disappear forever. You have our word.”

Now it was Tony's turn to grab the bag. Both he and Flea were speechless. They ignored the ladies and kept their eyes glued on the sparkling gems. Then they started to giggle like schoolgirls.

Flea wiped his eyes. “I must be seein' things.” He took the knife, cut a hole in the bag, and poured the diamonds into the top of an empty pizza box. He pointed at them. “These are real?”

Linda looked puzzled. “Don't you know they're real?”

Flea put his hands on his head. “Wait a minute.” He sat down on a chair and Tony stood behind him. “Who are you people?”

“We keep telling you,” Bette said, “we have nothing to do with this. Our bags got mixed up at the airport, that's all.”

“This is what you wanted,” Linda insisted. “This is Blue.”

Tony and Flea looked stunned.

“What's wrong? I don't understand. Isn't this Blue?”

“Of course it's not Blue.”

“But you told us to bring the stuff to the park or you'd kill our friends. Was there something else in the bag we missed?”

Flea slammed his hand on the table and jumped up. “What the fuck are you talking about? You're driving me crazy. This is not Blue. We didn't take anyone…”

“You kidnapped us,” Bette said.

“Besides you,” Flea yelled. “Blue is a guy. He's supposed to deliver a bag of coke. A bag I'm still going to need if I want to stay alive in the morning.”

Now the four of them looked confused. Everyone tried to digest the new information. No one said a word for a good minute. Then Linda pointed at Flea. “Hold on a minute. You're not the Mafia?”

Flea's eyes widened. “The Mafia? This shit belongs to the Mob?”

Bette nodded. “And they're pretty anxious to get this back, so if I were you, I'd let us go, so we can take it to them. They have our friends, who are worth a lot more than that little pile of rocks.”

Tony raked his fingers through his long hair. “Christ. We're dead. I don't like this; I don't like this at all.”

Flea shoved Tony's shoulder. “Shut up and stop panicking. There's got to be a good explanation. I have to think.”

“Difficult for a drug addict, I imagine,” Bette said.

Flea and Tony were so preoccupied with their own thoughts that they didn't notice the insult. Flea sat on the chair again and rubbed his shaved head. Tony paced back and forth, smoking.

Linda folded her arms. “Well, it's obvious.”

Flea looked up at her. “What's obvious?”

“There's been a mixup.”

“Ya don't say! What do you think I am, stupid?” Flea drummed his fingers on the table. “I called you. You answered. How's that possible?”

“Who did you think you were calling?” Bette asked.

Tony stabbed the air with his index finger. “Blue.”

Flea tapped his own forehead. “Right, right. We called Blue, but you answered the phone. The lines must have crossed.”

“The lines crossed?” Linda frowned. “I doubt that. What's his phone number?”

Tony took a piece of paper out of his pocket and put it on the table. “Here.”

“Well, maybe the lines
did
cross, then. I don't recognize this number at all.”

Flea looked at her. “What phone did you get our call on?”

“My cell.” As soon as Bette said it, her shoulders slumped. She could have cried. “I'm sorry, Lin.”

Linda patted her hand.

“So where is it?” Tony wanted to know.

Bette pulled it out of her coat pocket. Their one shot at escape, and she blew it. Flea grabbed it.

“So this is your phone?”

“You saw me take it out of my pocket, didn't you?”

Flea jumped up from the table and turned the phone on. “So if I call Blue on his cellphone, this shouldn't ring, should it?”

“That's right.”

Flea went over to the kitchen phone and called Blue's number. They all jumped when Bette's phone rang.

“This is Blue's phone. How the hell did you pick up his cellphone?”Linda and Bette sat with their mouths open. “I don't believe it,” Bette said. “Let me see that.”

Flea handed her the phone and she pressed a couple of buttons to check her menu. She looked at Linda. “This isn't my cell. Why do I have someone else's cellphone?”

Linda shook her head. “I don't know.”

Tony still paced. “So does that mean Blue has her phone, or did she just pick up Blue's?”

“You're making me crazy with the blues,” Flea shouted. “Shut up for a sec.”

Linda snapped her fingers. “I know. Does Blue have piercings and tattoos, spiked hair, and a really bad sense of style?”

“I don't know about the last thing, but yeah, he's covered with tats.”

Bette caught on. “Those weirdos in the coffee shop. When he spilled coffee all over me, he was talking on the cellphone. We must have switched them by mistake.”

Linda covered her face with her hands. “This goes from bad to worse.”

“Tell me about it,” Flea said.

“Did you phone about a cock crowing at midnight?” Bette asked him. “Was that a signal or something?”

Tony pointed to himself. “I thought that up.”

“No you didn't, you lamebrain,” Flea said. “That was Blue's dumb idea.”

“Oh.”

Flea pointed at Bette. “So if you call your cellphone now, Blue will answer?”

“I guess so.”

“Oh my God, Bette,” Linda said. “If the Mob phoned us about the bear and this Blue character answered and didn't know what they were talking about…they might have hurt Gemma and Augusta.” She turned to Flea. “You have to give these diamonds back. We have to save our friends.”

“And what do I get out of it?”

“Well, you're no worse off. If Blue was supposed to deliver a bag of coke to you, he's probably still waiting for your instructions. You'll get your bag of coke.” Linda bit her lip as she tried to keep her story straight. “Then you can take a few of these diamonds as a reward. When Blue shows up with the drugs, we'll exchange cellphones and the Mob will get in touch with us and we'll give the diamonds back and save our friends. Everyone can go on their merry way.”

Flea smiled at her. “Well, I have a better idea. I'll get the drugs, keep the diamonds, get rid of you two, and
then
go my merry way. I like that plan a whole lot better.”

Tony couldn't keep still as he cracked his knuckles. “I don't know Flea. I don't wanna mess around with the Mob. Once those wise guys are on your ass, you're dead. And that pile of ice there must be worth a fortune. They're not going to give up until they get it back.”