History of the Vampire (The Vanderlind Castle Series Book 4) (26 page)

I closed the door to my room and then sank into despair. Being so close to Colette, having her in my arms, had made me lose my head for a moment. But what I had done was wrong. Not saving her life — I would have gladly sacrificed my own life to keep her from harm — but kissing her had been a very foolish thing to do.

I cursed my misfortune of having contracted scarlet fever. If I’d only managed to avoid that dreaded disease, then I would have still been a mortal. With Grandfather gone, there was no fear of him turning Emily into a member of the undead. I would have fallen under the same protection. But no, the fates had seen to it that I would forever be seventeen, and the love of my life would keep aging. The cruel injustice of it led me to anger and I took some of my frustration out on an ottoman, completely shattering its frame in the process.

There was a knock on my door and then Daniel walked into my room without waiting for me to reply. “Why are you attacking the furniture?” he asked. “What’s that ottoman ever done to you?”

“I’m just…” And then I couldn’t think of what to say. “I’m just frustrated that I wasn’t able to save Grandfather.”

“I see.” Daniel raised his eyebrows high on his forehead. “And you think that the ottoman had something to do with it?” Seating himself in a chair at some distance from the ottoman, he crossed his legs and then folded his hands over one knee.

“No, I…” And then I stopped myself again. “What do you want, Daniel?” I asked. “It’s not like you to be up at this hour.” It was the middle of the day and my brother never usually stirred until after six.

“I was having trouble sleeping,” Daniel said with a sniff of vexation, “so I thought I’d get a book from the library. And while I was standing in the doorway, I overheard the most remarkable conversation between two of the maids.”

I felt my body momentarily tense, but I tried to pretend like his words had no effect on me. “Eavesdropping on the staff?” It was my turn to raise an eyebrow. “That’s not like you.” Daniel would have been happy if everyone who worked at the castle was a deaf-mute.

“What’s going on?” Daniel asked, ignoring my barb. “Have you been toying with one of the servants? How very bourgeois.”

“I haven’t been toying with anyone,” I informed him. “They were probably gossiping about the fact that one of the girls took a tumble off a ladder in the library. I was nearby so I managed to catch her.”

Daniel narrowed his eyes. “Nearby or on the other side of the room?”

“I was standing closer to her than you are to me,” I told him, keeping my voice matter-of-fact. “I don’t see what business it is of yours, anyway.”

“It’s my business if you’re exposing the family to danger,” he snapped. “You can’t go dashing across the library just because some little mortal might bust her head. You could expose us all with that kind of behavior.”

“I didn’t expose us to anyone,” I informed him. “She slipped and I caught her. That’s the end of the story.”

Daniel was the very last person I’d want to know about my feelings for Colette. At least not until I had decided what to do. He took the demise of our grandfather as a signal that he should ascend the throne as the head of the Vanderlind family. Mother and I found it quite amusing, but he took himself rather seriously.

“Just be careful,” he told me. “I think Denkie should have known better than to hire a couple of pretty housemaids, but that’s no reason to lose your head. If you’re feeling edgy, you can always go visit Arthur, and then find a brothel. I hear Columbus has a few good ones and it’s not that far.”

“Alright,” I said, just to placate him. I knew continuing to protest my innocence would get me nowhere. And Daniel might even begin to suspect I was lying if I protested too much. “Next time I’ll let the mortal land on her head.”

“Good,” Daniel said, getting to his feet and heading toward the door. “Better a dead girl than having the villagers pounding on the castle door. I hate when they show up with their pitchforks and torches.”

Chapter 35

Colette

“Have you lost your mind?” Lilly said in a loud whisper. Jessie had slipped out the door as she’d entered the room.

“Maybe I have,” I told her, still feeling a bit giddy from Jessie’s kiss.

“What if Mama and Papa find out?” she said in a harsh whisper. Then her eyes grew wider. “What if Mrs. Denkler finds out? She’s scary enough as it is.”

“No one’s going to find out,” I said to her, picking up my feather duster from where it had fallen. “It was just a harmless kiss.”

“But how did it even happen?” Lilly wanted to know.

“I slipped off a ladder and he caught me,” I explained. “He had his arms wrapped around me to steady me, and then it just happened.”

My sister frowned. “He took advantage of you?”

“No,” I exclaimed. “He stopped me from cracking open my skull.”

“But he kissed you,” she said. “Without courting you. Or meeting our parents, or anything.”

“It wasn’t like that,” I tried to assure her. “It just happened. I kissed him just as much as he kissed me.”

Lilly frowned some more while plucking at her feather duster. “I think I have to tell Mama and Papa.”

Whirling around, I stared at her, my mouth slightly open at her contemplated betrayal. “Why?”

“Because that Vanderlind boy is trying to take advantage of you. He shouldn’t have kissed you like that.”

“I told you, it was mutual. And also an accident,” I hastened to add. “And it will probably never happen again, so there’s no reason to get our parents all worried. You want to keep this job. Don’t you?”

Lilly thought it over. “Yes, I really do. But… I don’t want…” She couldn’t even put words to her feelings. “I still think I should tell.”

“Fine,” I said, pinching my lips together. “After all I’ve done so you could see Walter.”

“That’s different,” she insisted.

“If you decide to tell Mama and Papa, then I can’t stop you,” I said. “But I just want you to know that if we are sharing everything with our parents, then I am going to have to tell them that you left me alone with Lev Wilson for over an hour. And during that time, he attacked me and ripped my dress.”

Lilly let out an audible gasp. “You wouldn’t.”

I shrugged. “Why shouldn’t I? It’s the truth.”

“But…” Lilly’s eyes were round with the fear of it. “Then they would never let me see Walter again.”

“I know,” I told her. “And I don’t want that to happen.”

Lilly opened and closed her mouth a few times, reminding me slightly of a goldfish in a bowl. Then she closed her lips firmly and returned to dusting, not speaking to me for the rest of the day.

“What’s wrong with you girls?” Mama asked over dinner. “You’ve barely spoken two words to each other since you got home.”

“Nothing, as far as I know,” I said, glancing over in Lilly’s direction.

My sister refused to look at me. “Nothing,” she said, shaking her head back and forth a few times. “I’m just a little tired.” She looked down to cut her meat. “And besides, we work together all day.” And then, glancing in my direction, she added, “I think we’ve said everything that needs to be said.”

Lilly was still ignoring me when we climbed into bed. That was fine. I could handle her anger, just as long as she kept my secret. And I knew she would. I wasn’t exactly playing fair, but I was keeping secrets for her, so I saw no reason why she shouldn’t keep one for me. And besides, Jessie and I had only kissed. It had been unexpected, but it wasn’t something I regretted. Nor was it something I would ever regret. Jessie Vanderlind had stolen my heart without even trying.

I couldn’t sleep. There were too many thoughts of Jessie running through my head. Once my sister’s breathing turned to the steady rhythm of someone asleep, I crept out of my bed and shrugged into my robe. I needed to contemplate what had passed between Jessie and me in the complete silence that existed in the middle of the night.

On tiptoe, I crossed the room to look out the window. The little creatures of the night were starting to sing to each other and I loved the music they made. Looking down at the ground below our window, I nearly jumped out of my skin when I realized that someone was looking back up at me. It only took a second for me to realize it was Jessie Vanderlind.

“What are you doing out here?” I whispered, as I hurried across our yard to stand next to Jessie. I hoped none of my family had heard me easing out of the back door. The screen usually squeaked.

“I had to see you,” he said, stepping closer to me. “I wanted…” He paused for a moment, running his fingers through his hair. “I wanted to apologize.”

He was just so breathtaking handsome with his full lips and his ruffled black hair. I took several seconds just to stare at him, drinking him in. “Apologize?” I finally managed to ask.

“Yes.” Jessie nodded. “Just because you’d fallen off a ladder was no reason for…” He paused again. “It’s just… I just feel like I might have taken advantage of you. I mean, just because you’d fallen off the ladder was no reason for me to…” He gestured at me with his hand. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” I told him, stepping a little closer. “You saved me and then we accidentally kissed. That’s no reason to apologize.”

“But don’t you see?” Jessie asked, his gray eyes like two perfect gray pearls from the islands of Polynesia. “Kissing you by accident would be like accidentally finding a leprechaun's pot of gold.”

I squinted at him, no sure what he meant. “I’m afraid you’ve lost me.”

“I mean,” he said, stretching his hands toward me for a moment and then stuffing them in the pockets of the long, dark coat he was wearing, “I wouldn’t want our kiss to have been something you didn’t want or you weren’t expecting. Kissing you, especially for the first time, should be perfect.”

My heart was hammering so wildly in my chest that I could barely breathe. “Then kiss me now,” I told him. “Kiss me here under this apple tree. Let this be our first kiss.” It was such a brazen thing to say that I couldn’t even believe the words had come out of my mouth, but he didn’t seem put off by my request.

“Are you sure?” Jessie asked, taking a half-step forward. “About the kiss. Because I know if I kiss you again, I would never want to…”

And then we melted into each other’s arms, our lips pressing together with such passion that it felt like tiny fireworks were exploding in my chest.

“Ever let you go,” Jessie whispered, once we paused for breath.

“What’s that?” I asked, my head spinning from being so close to him. His breath smelled slightly of warm pennies.

“I was just worried about kissing you,” he whispered into my hair. “I knew that if we were to kiss, I would never want to let you go.”

“Then don’t,” I told him. “I’m happy to stay here forever.”

He squeezed me tightly for another moment and then I felt him stiffen a little, as if gathering his resolve. “There’s something I have to tell you,” he said in a very controlled voice. “There’s something I have to confess before this goes any further.”

“What is it?” I asked, hesitantly. He suddenly sounded so serious that it made me a little afraid.

Jessie closed his eyes for a moment and released a deep sigh. “It’s about my family.”

“Oh.” I thought of the rumors I’d heard about the Vanderlinds from Mrs. Denkler and the other snatches of gossip. The Vanderlinds all suffered from some type of rare illness. Something hereditary, I had to imagine. Jessie probably felt that he should be honest about his situation before we became too involved. “Don’t tell me,” I said, snuggling deeper into his arms. “I don’t want to know. Not yet.”

“But…” he started to say.

“Jessie, please don’t,” I insisted, cupping his face with my hands and looking into his fathomless gray eyes. “This moment is so perfect. And I feel about you in a way that I never imagined I could feel about anyone. Let’s pretend that the rest of the world doesn’t exist. At least for right now. Let’s just make this moment about the two us.”

And then he kissed me again.