His Perfect Bride? (18 page)

The one thing I said I wouldn’t do!

Why did she keep returning to his bed? To his arms? Every time she did it she’d go back to Moonrose berating herself, telling herself that it was absolutely the last time she would do it!

But it never stayed that way. She couldn’t keep her distance from him—it was too hard.

Each time she attempted to create distance Olly just closed the gap more and more. And as the date came nearer for his father’s retirement from the practice she found herself locked away with Olly, planning Patrick’s surprise retirement party. Planning that quickly turned into hand-holding, then kissing, and then, before she knew what was happening, passionate lovemaking.

She was like a little bumble bee, and Olly was her pollen. The golden dust that she needed to survive.

Each time she went home she took a little piece of him in her heart. Each time she sat alone in her cottage, rats on her shoulder and Anubis in the palm of her hand, she would tell herself not to do it any more. Not to care for Olly as deeply as she did.

Not to…love him?

Did she love him? She hoped not. She’d not come to Atlee Wold to fall in love. She’d not come to have her heart broken, or to break someone else’s.

The tarantula breakthrough had happened after she’d met her mother. She’d gone home, drunk a large glass of wine and then braved it. Putting her whole hand into the tank. Lula had been scared, but the terror had gone. She’d gained strength
from her meeting with Elizabeth. As Anubis had tentatively stepped onto the palm of her hand with his long, hairy, surprisingly solid legs, she’d almost stopped breathing. But then she’d taken a deep breath, acknowledged the heavy spider on her palm and then begun breathing again.

Olly had been so proud of her when she’d told him. After all, it had been one of her greatest fears and challenges to herself and she’d overcome it.

All she had to do now was tell Olly that she would be leaving in a month’s time and then create another challenge for herself. Something to do with heights? They’d always scared her, hadn’t they? And if dependable Olly could do it, with his parachute jump…

She’d found another locum post. In Portsmouth—the place of her abandonment. It had seemed the perfect place to go to. To come full circle and visit the beach she’d been found on. The post would start one week after she’d left Atlee Wold. That should give her enough time to return Anubis to his rightful owner, unpack her belongings and choose some new challenges for herself.

The new post was on the coast, close to where she’d originally been left as a baby, and she wondered about all the things she hadn’t tried—windsurfing, kitesurfing, jet-skiing, scuba-diving. A
whole host of challenges she could set herself. Maybe a bungee jump for charity?

The post wouldn’t be too far away from her mother. She could still visit her—maybe once a month. Although at the moment she was visiting Elizabeth a couple of times a week.

They’d shared quite a bit, and Elizabeth had shown Lula all the newspaper cuttings about her case that she kept in an old scrapbook, faded with time.

Getting to know her mother had been something Lula had imagined often, but the real thing far surpassed her dreams. They were similar in many ways—in their character, and in the way they thought about life and politics, and in the television programmes they both watched. Their shared love for animals was amazing. As Elizabeth taught Lula about the ways of foxes, and how to keep a baby bird alive, Lula told her mother about Nefertiti and Cleo and the exotic Anubis.

Elizabeth had gained something from their reunion, too. Each time Lula returned another part of her house had been cleared out and cleaned. It was as though Elizabeth was finally reclaiming her life from the dirt and the dust and the random objects that held a connection to the past.

Elizabeth had been upset to hear about her daughter’s fight against leukaemia, and had been in tears as Lula told her about her years of struggle.
She’d learnt about other members of her family who were still alive. Elizabeth’s parents were both dead, but Elizabeth had two brothers. They were all going to meet up at some point, and she’d spoken to them on the phone about Lula. One had even cried, and she’d been touched by the way she was being received by everyone.

Being received by her family would be easier than saying goodbye.

She’d already told Elizabeth—just not Olly. Or his father. And they’d want to know. They’d need to know that they had to find another doctor to take her place.

I have to tell him now.

Lula rapped on his door. The spring sunshine was shining brightly. All the snow had gone and daffodils were blooming, showing their golden trumpets throughout the village.

When Olly opened the door he caught her biting her lip. ‘Why are you knocking? I told you before—come straight in.’

He stepped back so she could follow him inside. They went into the kitchen, where his father sat reading a newspaper at the table.

Patrick peered at her over his glasses. ‘Lula! How lovely to see you. How is our favourite locum? Thinking of becoming a permanent partner, I hope?’

He beamed a smile at her and Lula wished the
floor would swallow her up whole. It wasn’t just going to be Olly who would be upset at her plans.

‘Actually, that’s why I’m here. I’ve come to a decision.’

‘Brilliant,’ Olly said, sitting down at the table and pulling out a chair for her to sit down, too. ‘Dad and I have been discussing it for some time—about how well you fit in and how everyone loves you.’

I do hope
you
don’t love me, Olly.

Though she knew the truth in her heart. It was obvious he had strong feelings for her—even though he knew she couldn’t give him what he wanted. It was in the way he was with her…the way she caught him looking at her when he thought she wouldn’t notice. The way he acted…the way he thought of her. The way he held her in his arms. The way he made love to her.

All the things she’d tried to avoid.

‘Thank you. I have loved it here, but… The time has come for me to move on. To take up a new post.’ She hurried on, seeing the smiles drop from their faces. ‘I’ve found a new post—a locum post like this one—down in Portsmouth. I think it could be perfect for me.’

Olly stared at her, his eyes darkening with disappointment and anger. ‘You’re…leaving?’

She licked her lips. ‘I’m sorry. Maybe I should have told you earlier. But there’s been so much
stuff going on with Elizabeth and myself that I let it slide. I apologise for that.’

‘But…your
mother
’s here—and the
practice
is here—and patients that adore you.’

‘And I’ll miss them, Olly, but it was never my intention to stay. Even if I did find my mother.’

‘But—’

His father interrupted him, laying a firm hand on his son’s arm. ‘It’s Lula’s choice, son. We can’t force her.’ He turned to Lula. ‘I can’t say I’m not disappointed. I really think you’re an amazing person, and I for one would have loved it if you’d stayed permanently. Part of me was hoping that you and Olly would run the practice as partners.’ He coloured. ‘In more ways than one, if you catch my meaning. I know you two have grown close.’

Tears began to sting her eyes. She liked Patrick a lot. It hurt to know she was disappointing him, but she had to stick to her plan and leave. If she stayed she and Olly would no doubt become even closer and their relationship would deepen. Then he would want to have children. She knew he would. He’d told her he wanted kids. He was traditional that way.

But she couldn’t give him that. She was infertile. She would never be able to have children and that would tear them apart. She’d seen it happen to so many couples. She wasn’t going to put
herself through it. Nor him. She loved him too much for that.

‘I’m so sorry, Patrick. I know it’s not what you wanted to hear.’ She stood up and went to leave, but Olly grabbed her wrist.

‘Wait!’

She turned, determined not to let the tears fall. ‘Yes, Olly?’

‘I can’t lose you.’

A brave smile made her face even sadder. ‘Yes, you can. And it’s best we do it now. Before it hurts us all too much.’

She pulled her hand free and hurried from his house, slamming the door shut behind her. She burst into tears as she ran down the pathway and into Betsy.

After all her efforts not to get hurt, here she was, crying over leaving him. Leaving Atlee Wold. Leaving Patrick. Leaving her beloved patients whom she’d got to know. Leaving her mother—though they’d still visit each other. Portsmouth wasn’t that far away…

She stuck her key into the ignition, cleared her eyes and drove away.

* * *

Olly stared in disbelief at the closed door. Lula was leaving? But…she
couldn’t
! She was…perfect. She was… They’d been getting so close
he’d assumed she’d stay—especially now that she knew her mother was here!

He took a step forward, as if to go after her, but something stopped him. He turned, sadness making his heart feel heavy, and looked at his father. ‘I can’t believe she won’t stay.’

‘No, but we always knew this was a possibility.’

‘I can’t lose her, Dad.’

‘You have to let her go. You can’t force her to stay. Look at what happened with Rachel.’

‘Rachel was different! Rachel was wrong for me! Right from the start. I was trying to force a square peg into a round hole. She was a city girl—a medical rep. A party girl. I knew she wasn’t right for me, but I tried to make her fit in with my life. To force her to enjoy quiet village life. I might as well have asked her to arrange the church flowers as something to do!’

‘And Lula?
She’s
not your run-of-the-mill girl.’

‘No, she isn’t. She’s amazing. Sweet and loving and… We fit, Dad. We
fit
!’

‘But you have the same problem, son. You can’t force her to stay.’

‘It wouldn’t be force. She loves it here—I know she does. She loves the people, the practice, the ladies in her dance class. She loves the serenity here.’

‘Does she love
you
?’

Olly looked at his father. He thought she did.

He hoped she did.

Because it was the only way he could make her stay.

* * *

Mrs Broadstairs had just left Lula’s room and she was about to call in her last patient when Olly came in, closing the door firmly behind him. She could see he had something to say as he paced about before her desk.

It was her last day at the surgery. One patient to go. The atmosphere between herself and Olly had been functional, not frosty, since her announcement. He’d made no effort to go out of his way to see her and she had done the same with him. It was easier that way—the less they saw of each other the better.

But now he was here, standing tall and defiantly masculine in her room, opposite her desk. His sheer presence made her realise how much she’d missed him. Missed his touch. His arms around her. His lips upon her skin. His gentle kisses all over her body…

‘Yes?’ She hoped her voice sounded solid and unaffected.

His jaw was clenching and unclenching; his hands were upon his hips. ‘I had to come and see you.’

She didn’t say anything.

‘I can’t say I agree with your choice, but I don’t want you to think I don’t care. I…er…I’m here to offer to help you pack. That way I can put my grandmother’s things into storage at the same time. We’re putting the cottage up for sale.’

Oh.
She hadn’t expected that. She’d thought Moonrose Cottage would always be a part of the James family.

‘There’s no need.’

‘There’s every need. I need to catalogue everything, and I might as well do it whilst helping you pack. Make sure you don’t leave anything behind.’

Lula nodded. ‘Right. Well, there’s not much left to do, but okay. If you want to help I’ve a few boxes I need to fill.’

‘When’s the removal lorry coming?’

‘Around ten o’clock. But it’s just a small one. I haven’t got much to take with me.’

Olly clenched his jaw some more and she could tell he was fighting the urge to say something else to her. She would have given anything to run her fingers along his jawline, to soften his anger and release his tension.

But that wouldn’t be a good idea.

It was best not to touch him. To remind herself of what he felt like. Though she could recall it quite easily. He was imprinted in her memory for evermore.

‘Have you found someone yet?’ she asked.

Olly frowned, his face like thunder. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Another locum. Someone to take my place.’

He stared hard at her, his brow creased with lines she’d never seen before, his eyes like the depths of a dark ocean. ‘I could never find someone to take your place.’

And he turned in an instant, slamming the door as he left.

Lula stared at the spot he’d stood in, her breathing laboured, realising how much her leaving was upsetting him.

Well, it would hurt you a lot more further down the road, Olly. It might not feel like it now, but I’m doing the best thing for us.

I am.

* * *

Olly stood outside her surgery door and let out a pent-up breath. He was trying to use reverse psychology. By offering to help her pack, by offering to make sure she packed properly, he hoped she’d realise all the things she’d miss if she went away. He wanted her last thoughts of the village to be filled with him and his presence, and he knew that by being with her he’d be able to talk to her some more, try and persuade her otherwise if there was a chance that she’d show him she loved him.

Because wasn’t love all that really mattered?

Wasn’t love the most important thing? The thing that made the world turn? That made people find the strength to get up each day and face life?

He wasn’t going to force Lula to do anything. She had to stay of her own volition, but he wanted a choice. Options. When Rachel had left he hadn’t been given a choice in anything. She’d made all the decisions. She’d decided on an abortion. She decided to leave without telling him. He’d never been given the courtesy of choice.