His Paris Affair (The Albury Affairs) (31 page)

Reno slowly stripped his jacket, laying it on the back of
the couch. Then he approached Ruiz with his hands held out like he would a
rabid dog. “Ruiz, calm down. Everything is fine. Everyone is fine, safe thanks
to you,” he said softly taking a few more steps forward.

Ruiz didn’t move; he didn’t even react like he’s heard Reno.

“Ruiz,” Reno placed his hand on Ruiz’s shoulder.

He reacted then swinging his fist at Reno which he caught
and twisted his arm behind his back putting Ruiz in the same hold as he had on
Anthony. Melody tightened the grip she had on Allan’s arm as she watched the
two brothers’ struggle. Ruiz tried to buck him off, but Reno held on, one arm
going across Ruiz’s upper chest while the other held Ruiz’s arm behind his
back. He yelled and screamed even kicked, but Reno had his legs firmly planted
to the ground.

“I’m your big brother. You’re never going to get me to let
you go.”

Seeing Ruiz like that, uncontrolled and in anguish, only
made Melody cry harder.

Riana broke free of Amy and rushed to her brothers. She took
Ruiz’s red torture twisted face in her hands and held his head still. “Ruiz,
look at me. Look at me! It’s me, your baby sister. Everything is going to be
fine, just take a deep breath.”

Ruiz’s struggles lessened as he stared at Riana.

“That’s it, just keep looking at me. Let me guide you back
to yourself. You are not Angelo’s animal. You are my brother. My funny,
protective big brother.”

Ruiz went motionless, his face going blank and his gaze into
Riana’s eyes never waivering.

“There we go. My brother is back. I can see you in your
eyes. Now let go Ruiz. Let it all go.”

His shoulders began to bounce. His face creased with
torment. His lips trembled. His eyes squeezed shut.

“I didn’t want to,” he wailed.

“We know. We know you didn’t want to. It’s not your fault,”
Riana cried stroking his face, “It’s not your fault. You did what you had to.”

He sunk to the floor like his legs had suddenly failed him.
Reno and Riana went down with him.

“I’m a monster!”

“Don’t ever say anything like that again!” Riana returned
sternly.

 
“Your mother
hates you, hates all of us. She’d say and do anything to hurt us,” Reno added,
wrapping both his arms around his brother’s shoulders. He’d released Ruiz’s arm
and his hands were now clutching his head as he cried.

“I didn’t want to. He made me choose!”

Riana raised his head forcefully. “You protected us. Melody,
Allan, our children and me. He was going after your daughter.” She hugged his
head to her chest and Ruiz wrapped his arms around her as he cried. “Thank you
for protecting us Ruiz, for protecting your family. You have nothing to feel
guilty about.”

Riana turned her gaze to Melody then waved her over. The
second Allan’s arms dropped Melody ran to them, dropping to her knees and
trading places with Riana to kneel between Ruiz’s raised knees. Riana didn’t go
far, she sat up on the raised floor next to Reno, who’d let go of Ruiz.

 
Melody raised
Ruiz’s face and kissed his lips tasting both their tears. “I’ve never been more
proud to be your wife than I am at this very moment. You faced that monster and
beat him.”

“But I killed a man.”

She shook her head. “No, you killed a demon, a nightmare
that has been haunting us for years. He threatened Esme again and you protected
her, like any great father would.”

He looked at her as if she’d lost her mind, like he wouldn’t
believe he didn’t disgust her. Maybe she had lost her mind, maybe it turned her
stomach watching Ruiz throw Anthony out the window, but she could never condemn
him for having the strength to do something neither of them could. They all had
a chance to help disarm Anthony, but they just stood there watching Ruiz fight
both Angelo and Anthony.

“I killed a man.”

“And the guilt is eating you alive and I’m glad because it
means you have a good heart, a clean soul. You are nothing like Angelo. You are
not a monster.”

His eyes widened. Something she said hit home. Then he
pulled Melody to him and buried his face in her chest as he cried. She knelt
there, leaning her head on top of his, stroking his back and let him cry. Reno
and Riana from where they sat together on the floor looked at her with
gratitude in their eyes, but they had nothing to thank her for. He might be
their brother, but he was her husband, the father of her daughter.

The monsters were finally all out of the closet and all she
could hope for was a good and happy life from here on out.

* * * *

It’s not your fault.

You did what you had
to.

You were just
protecting your family.

That’s what everyone kept telling him—his family, his
friends, the police. He understood them, knew what they were saying, but it
still didn’t stop the guilt from consuming him. They moved back to the United
States immediately Ruiz was cleared and the police had started a case against
Angelo with the papers Anthony had kept concerning his business. Although,
being in their new home next to Reno’s didn’t help relieve the guilt. The parties
that were thrown almost every weekend didn’t help. He hoped renewing his vows
with Melody in the presence of friends and family would be his fresh start.
Unfortunately, the image of Anthony going through the window still plagued him.
And celebrating new life with the birth of baby Cora only reminded him of the
life he took.

That was until Ruiz finally caved and agreed to see a
shrink—the same one Allan, Riana, Reno and Loraine went to after their traumas.
Now they were back there—Matthew and Amy included—because of what Ruiz had
done. He did both single and couple sessions with Melody. She had been so
supportive, so patient with him, he’d begun to think he didn’t deserve her.
Except, she saw the signs and kept him from pulling away. And for a week the
whole family was invited to join in the sessions. They spoke about that night
to great detail, all telling how they remembered it, how they felt and despite
what he’d done, Ruiz remained blameless in their eyes.

The only one still holding him culpable according to the
shrink was himself. And it took him months for him to finally say what everyone
else was telling him, what they already knew.

It wasn’t my fault.

I did what I had to.

I was protecting my
family.

Allan would be dead
right now if I hadn’t killed Anthony.

But still, it brought his count to two. Two people dead by
his hand.

“And how does that make you feel?” the shrink asked.

“Like that evil is inside me, lurking waiting to rear its
ugly head up and make me kill again,” he responded holding his fists tightly at
his knees.

“Melody, what do you think?”

She covered his fist with her hand. “I think he should tell
us what happened and why it’s so different from Anthony. Why isn’t that death
destroying you like this one is.”

Ruiz stared at her. The compassion in her eyes weakened him
otherwise he would never repeat what happened that night.

“Home invasion. There were four of us. Angelo’s two
sons—Carlos was much older and Cesar was my age—and their cousin Jorge. He was
too young to see what they were into. I went to keep him out of trouble.
Something no one bothered to do for me.”

Melody needled her fingers into his fist until he opened his
hand and she weaved their fingers together, but he kept his gaze on the shrink.
He couldn’t say the next part looking at her.

“A woman was there, Diana. We were just supposed to grab
some valuable stuff and leave. Not to sell or anything, just for fun especially
for the newbies. No one was supposed to get hurt, especially women and
children. Except, Carlos was a sick bastard. We weren’t supposed to even be
there. Angelo has to approve every crime we committed and he’d put a stop to
the home invasions because of the heat from the cops. Then five minutes inside
the house, I realized it wasn’t some random house. Carlos asked her out and she
said no—or something along those lines. I just knew it was personal because of
all the things he was yelling. Carlos didn’t need much of a reason to hurt
anyone.”

He turned to Melody, she smiled at him encouragingly and he
looked away.

“Long story short, he wanted to rape her in front of an
audience. I just stood there not really watching as he dragged her to the
middle of the living room kicking and screaming, while he laughed. I figured
life was a lesson and the only way to learn was the hard way. I learned I
couldn’t trust anyone, that the only person I could trust was me. So why
shouldn’t she learn some life lesson from this? Like keep a gun in the house,
buy a guard dog or an alarm system, learn martial arts.” He shook his head. “It
made sense then, but now I’m so ashamed of it. I was one stupid angry kid.”

“You were young and misguided. The only thing you knew was
what you learned on your own,” Melody defended.

“She fought him, she fought him with all she had and I
started rooting for her. Then he punched her in the face and she suddenly went
still. I remember thinking, just for the fight she put up, I owed it to her to
defend her now that she was unconscious. I pulled him off her and told him his
fun was over. I wasn’t going to let him hurt her anymore.” Melody squeezed his
hand and he squeezed back. “He tried to get past me a few times, but I put him
down on his ass each time. He didn’t like that he was being shown up especially
once Diana woke up. He pulled a gun on me and gave it to Cesar to hold it on
me. If I moved he was to pull the trigger. We all knew he wasn’t going to do
it, and if he actually did I would kick his ass to a coma. While I was
distracted with Cesar, Carlos slipped into the bedroom and came back with a
screaming girl, Jorge’s age. Twelve, I think. Diana stared crying, begging and
swearing she would do anything Carlos wanted if he left her daughter alone.
Carlos just laughed in her face.”

Ruiz clenched his teeth tight battling the rage the memory
provoked. “But she didn’t know all she was doing was urging him on. The louder
you cried, the longer you begged the more Carlos got off on it. We all knew he
was going to do it—hurt that little girl. Jorge and Cesar tried to talk him out
of it, but the bastard was stuck on carrying through. My eyes just filled with
red spots as I listened to the begging and crying…”

“Ruiz…”

“The moment he placed her on the floor, I was seeing
red—actual blood red color and nothing else. I’m not even sure what happened,
what I did, how I did it…but when I came to, Carlos was on the floor, his face
bloodied and smashed in and I was standing over him. I looked around and I was
the only one left in the house, Cesar and Jorge were gone. Diana and her
daughter were huddled up in a corner. Then the cops busted in and I was
arrested. I found out later I’d killed him with my bare hands. It explained all
the broken bones up to my wrists…but I felt no pain until the next day. All I
could think about the entire time I was in was that Diana was ready to do anything
for her child and my mother never once asked why I wasn’t home for weeks at a
time, just why I was back and when I was leaving again.”

“Ruiz.” Melody’s voice hitched as she pressed her cheek into
his shoulder.

“How come you went to juvie? You were seventeen almost
eighteen and had committed murder,” the shrink asked.

He chuckled shaking his head. “I’ve asked myself that
countless times. I arrive to the same conclusion each time. Diana. I don’t know
what story she told, but I never went to court. I was sentenced in my cell and
sent straight to juvie.”

“You said you came too, as in you weren’t conscious during
the ordeal. Did the same thing happen to you in Paris?”

He shook his head. “I knew what I was doing. I made a
choice, easy and yet difficult. I chose to save Allan, to end my sister’s
nightmare, to rid my daughter of a threat. I made a conscious decision to throw
Anthony out the window.”

“Why not just disarm him?”

He shook his head. “That wasn’t an option. I wasn’t going to
shoot him, I hate guns wouldn’t touch one if I can avoid it. I wasn’t going to
do it with my hands, too intimate—that would have definitely destroyed me. So I
chose the window, covered his face so that he wouldn’t see it happen.”

“Ruiz,” Melody started softly. When he turned to look at
her, she was chewing on her bottom lip.

He thumbed her chin and released her lip from her teeth,
“Just ask me.”

He could see she was regretting it already but was curious
enough to still ask, “Why was disarming him not an option?”

“If I hadn’t killed Anthony, Angelo would have killed Allan.
Weakness gets you dead. But in this situation, my hesitation, my weakness would
have killed Allan. He would have shot your brother right in front of us just to
re-teach me that lesson.”

Ruiz wiped the tears on her cheeks with his fingers. “Don’t
cry. I don’t regret the choice I made, I never will.”

“I’m so sorry he made you make that choice, but I’m not
sorry you saved my brother.” She climbed onto his lap and wrapped her arms
around his neck in a fierce hug, “Thank you.”

That was two months ago. He wasn’t sure if he should admit
this or not but he had finally moved past his guilt. He hoped having no
lingering remorse over it didn’t make him a monster.

I killed him.

I saved my family.

I’m sorry he’s dead,
but I’m not sorry I protected my family.

“Dada!”

The shrilly yell had him looking down. He couldn’t help, but
smile as Esme shook her little finger at him and lectured him in baby talk with
a stern look on her face.

“I think she’s saying it’s time to cut the cake and you’re
holding things up with your day dreaming,” Melody cantered, her head to the
side and looked at him with a searching gaze, “You okay?”