His Mistress (37 page)

“I believe I can take a day or two away from work.”

The moment her gaze narrowed at him, Tobias bit back a smile. Perhaps Samuel’s plan would work after all. All he needed to do was earn her forgiveness. That wasn’t too tall an order, was it? His eyes met hers again, and the anger sparkling in her dark blue gaze told him it would be harder than he had ever imagined.

§  §  §

The summer cottage on John’s estate was precisely that. A cottage. It had been years since he’d visited the place, and he’d forgotten how small it was. There was a parlor, a small dining room, kitchen, and a bedroom at the top of the stairs that ran upward between the parlor and the dining room. Tobias carefully navigated his way upstairs with the two trunks Jane had hastily packed. As he entered the bedroom, he found Jane surveying the large bed that was the centerpiece of the room. His gaze met hers as he sat her trunks down, and she immediately looked away.

“We should make arrangements for a cot to be brought in,” she said coolly.

“And exactly how do you propose we explain that unusual request when everyone believes we’re on our honeymoon?” he snapped with irritation.

“Then you may sleep on the parlor sofa,” she said with a pragmatic shrug.

“I trust you’ll at least allow me a set of covers,” he said with a touch of irony.

“Of course. I’m not heartless. Unlike others I know.”

The small jab made him grimace. She was entitled to her scorn. Her contempt of him was well-placed. The question was how to work his way back into her good graces when she seemed determined to keep him at a distance. Pessimism struck deep at the heart of him. The question was not how. It was
if
she’d let him make amends. The floorboards creaked beneath his feet as he headed for the exit. Fingers biting into the sturdy oak door, he paused at the threshold and looked back at her.

“John expects us for dinner tomorrow night, but he sent supper for us this evening.”

“I’m not hungry, thank you.”

“You need to eat, Jane,” he said quietly.

“Leave me,” she commanded without giving him a backward glance as she moved toward the window.

The emphatic words indicated their conversation was finished. With a grunt of frustration, he followed her orders and closed the door behind him. He made his way down the steps to the parlor contemplating the way she’d looked when he’d closed the door of the bedroom. She’d been staring out of the window at the setting sun, and there had been a forlorn air about her that had ripped at his heart.

It had taken every ounce of willpower he possessed not to stride across the room and gather her up into his arms. He’d wanted to reassure her that she was safe, that he’d protect her from the world. The thought made him wince. It had always been his responsibility to protect her and he’d failed. He’d thought it was his rage he needed to protect her from, but it was from his duplicitous behavior that she needed to be saved. His deceit had cut into the very heart of her. All her life, men had been betraying her. First her father, then the bastard who’d sold her innocence, and now him. How could she possibly have it in her to forgive him?

§  §  §

Tobias closed the front door of the cottage, then strode into the kitchen and set the wicker hamper on the counter of the large butcher’s block. Their lunch had been delivered a short time ago by one of John’s staff, and Tobias was hungry. With speed and efficiency, he pulled the items out of the basket before setting the wicker container on the floor near the doorway. It was a beautiful fall day, and he’d spent the morning walking the estate.

Two days had passed since their arrival, and the only time Jane had spoken to him was when it was absolutely necessary. Their dinners with John had clearly been a trial for her as he’d deliberately played the doting husband. He’d hoped it would thaw the icy wall she kept between them, but his efforts had failed. If anything, her manner toward him seemed to grow colder.

Tobias retrieved a sharp knife from the cutlery drawer and reached for the fresh loaf of bread on the rough wooden surface. Freshly baked, the bread smelled wonderful and made him hungrier than he had been when he’d returned from his walk around the estate. He was in the middle of cutting his second slice of bread when a sound at the door made him look up. The sight of Jane watching him in silence from the doorway startled him, and his hand slipped causing the sharp knife to slice deep into his third finger.

“
Bloody hell
.”

Tobias jerked his hand away from the bread and proceeded to drip blood across the top of the loaf, then the table, as he lunged for the bucket of water behind him. Awkwardly he tried to pour some water into a nearby bowl. He grunted as water splashed onto the floor. A second later, Jane pulled the bucket out of his hand and filled the bowl halfway. In silence, she forced him to put his finger into the water for a brief moment before she pulled it out again to examine it. The pain shooting up his finger into his hand vanished as he breathed in her soft floral scent. She reached for a towel and wrapped his finger with it then applied pressure.

“You should be more careful,” she scolded him quietly. The icy façade she’d maintained since the night of the reception had thawed, and it gave him hope. He remained silent as he watched her open the towel to examine the cut. It was still bleeding, but not as badly as before. She wrapped the towel around his finger again.

“Keep pressure on it while I find some bandages.”

“There are some in the cabinet over there.” Tobias bobbed his head toward a hutch against the wall. She crossed the floor to forage in the cabinet then returned to his side.

“Remove the towel.” At the command, he set the thin cloth aside. Her head bent over his hand, she examined the cut closely. “It’s stopped bleeding. I think it looks worse than it is, but I imagine it will sting for a couple of days.”

“I’ll live. I’ve survived worse cuts than this,” her murmured as he recalled the number of times he’d scourged his soul and mind over the past few days. Jane slowly raised her head to eye him carefully before she set about bandaging his finger.

“I’m beginning to think tending to your wounds could become quite time consuming.” Her comment made him grow still.

“It’s not my usual habit, to be so careless,” he murmured. “But’s it’s difficult for me not to be affected by you, and I didn’t pay attention to what I was doing. It would have been hard to face your anger, but it was your pain I was terrified of facing. It was right to fear that, because these last few days have been hell.”

“Are you suggesting I’m to blame for your injury?” There was a sharp bite to her question. Tobias shook his head.

“No. I’m to blame…for everything.”

Jane froze in the middle of tying his bandage, and he didn’t move a muscle as he studied the curve of her cheek. She slowly finished tending to his injured finger then straightened and moved toward the kitchen door.

“Keep it clean if you can.” There was a note of skepticism in her voice that made his mouth twitch with amusement as she reached the doorway. “I’ll change the bandage later this evening unless it continues to bleed.”

“Thank you, Jane.” At his words, she looked over his shoulder at him. Emotion flashed in her eyes, and he swallowed hard as their gazes locked.

“You’re not entirely to blame, Tobias.” The statement sent a shock wave pounding through him. As he stared at her, she frowned. “I should have known something was odd about your proposal when Father and Irene were gloating about your lack of interest in a larger dowry.”

Tobias’ jaw dropped at her self-abasement. Christ Jesus, did she really blame herself for not realizing she was being manipulated. Without thinking, he closed the distance between them. Although she flinched as he stopped a foot away from her, she didn’t retreat.

“The only person to blame is me, Jane. I could have walked away from your father’s ultimatum. I didn’t. I gave in to his demand to save my reputation.” Tobias didn’t look away from her as he tried to phrase his words carefully and honestly. “When I proposed, I knew you felt humiliated that your father had passed you off to a commoner as if you were second-hand goods. Telling you the truth would have emphasized that fact. I didn’t have the heart to do that to you. I could have told you the truth when I discovered you were
Mystère
, but I was far too distracted by you to say anything.”

Jane looked away from his steady gaze as she considered his words. With a slight nod of her head, she gave him a sad smile.

“And what of my deceit,” she said. “I lied to you as well.”

“Your deception was simply to protect yourself, and came at the expense of my pride,” he said with a deep regret that ate away at him. “I took advantage of you, Jane. I used you to save myself, and I despise myself for it.”

Tobias closed his eyes at the confession. Each word had cut into him with twenty times the amount of pain in his throbbing finger. A knot formed in his throat as he opened his eyes to see her studying him with an intensity that made his gut lurch with dread that she would find him wanting. Jane suddenly stretched out her hand, and he froze as her finger caressed his cheek. Instantly, his hand cupped hers, and he turned his head to kiss her palm.

“Forgive me, Jane. Let me make amends for my sins.”

“And how would you make such amends?” Her words were an electric shock to his system. He shook his head in disbelief. Was she actually giving him the chance to earn her forgiveness? Tobias bowed his head in a sign of deference.

“Let me serve you, my Lady. Give me the honor of pleasing you. Seeing to your needs,” he whispered then sucked in a deep breath. “Let me love you.”

At his bold declaration, Jane’s hand grew cold against his cheek. Fuck, he’d just thrown all of his cards on the table for nothing. She wasn’t interested in his confession. All she wanted was for them to lead separate lives. What little hope he still had slipped slowly from his grasp as she pulled her hand away from him. Her eyes wide in disbelief, she watched him closely.

“What did you say?” she asked in a strained voice.

“Let me serve—”

“
No
, the last part.”

“Let me love you,” he said quietly as he met her disbelieving gaze. “I love you, Jane. I have since that first night at
La Maison des Plaisirs Sombres
. I simply didn’t realize it until that day in the office.”

A strangled sound fluttered past her lips, and his heart slammed against his chest at the possibility she might actually forgive him. Her movements slow and deliberate, Jane stepped forward to take his uninjured hand in hers. The softness of her mouth brushed over his knuckles with a tenderness that tugged at his heart. It was a sweet touch that stirred a breath of hope inside him. Her hand gently clasped his, and she pulled him toward the stairs. He went willingly, eager to please her. At the top of the narrow staircase, she paused and smiled softly at him.

“Wait here,” she ordered. “Don’t say a word.”

He didn’t question her, but his body protested the moment she was no longer at his side. Every minute that passed seemed like hours. Christ almighty, had she changed her mind? Was she keeping him waiting like this as punishment for his sins? He closed his eyes and forced himself to wait patiently.

“Tobias, come here.”

It was the melodious call of Circe, and he followed it toward the bedroom. The oak door was partially open, and as he pushed it wider, his breath left his lungs in one giant whoosh of air.

“Sweet Jesus,” he rasped.

In an instant, he was hard as iron. She stood facing him with the sunlight streaming in from the window behind her. Every inch of her was free and unfettered by clothing, and the rays of light danced across her bare skin making it luminescent. As his gaze swept over her, words escaped him as to how to describe her beauty. It was more than just the soft fullness of her breasts, the lush curve of her thighs or the sweet color of her lips. Her strength was reflected in the proud tilt of her head, the fearlessness of her stance, and the confidence in her dark blue gaze. She was magnificent, and he didn’t deserve her.

“Undress for me, Tobias.”

Eager to please her, he quickly removed his clothing. The moment his erection sprang free of his trousers, he glanced up to see Jane studying his cock. He continued to tug his way out of his pants and grinned at her. A small smile curved her mouth as she watched him kick aside his clothes and face her.

His gaze swept over her slowly as he took in every lovely inch of her. The sharp breath of awareness she took made his gaze jerk back to her face. Desire flashed in her sapphire eyes, and he barely managed to keep from taking a step toward her. He was hers to command. This was about her need and pleasure, not his. She tapped her finger on the mahogany bedpost attached to the bed’s footboard.

“I want you to hold onto the post,” she said quietly.

Silently, he did as she asked. As his hands wrapped around the thick wood, he saw two scarves and a leather belt lying on the bed. His muscles convulsed with tension as she picked up a scarf. Jane didn’t speak. She simply began tying him to the bedpost. His gaze kept returning to the belt on the bed. It was narrow in width, and it struck a fear deep inside him. Rage welled up inside him as he fought not to tug against his bonds.
He’d be damned if he’d let her use that fucking thing on him
. Tobias cleared his throat as Jane finished securing his hands to the bedpost.

“My Lady…” His gaze darted back to the belt before he looked at her. “The belt…I don’t like being whipped.”

“I know, Tobias,” she said gently. She reached for the remaining scarf. It was black, and his gut twisted violently with fear. Christ almighty, she was going to blindfold him
and
whip him. He tugged at his bindings with a sense of panic. One of Jane’s hands settled over his and with the other she stroked the side of his face with a tenderness that soothed him.

“If you are uncomfortable, simply say you wish to stop.”

Her words made him cringe. When had he ever been afraid to let a Lady do as she liked with him? Tobias took a deep breath then exhaled. He shook his head and met her gaze steadily. Satisfied that he wished to proceed, she lifted the blindfold off the bed and gently covered his eyes. The moment everything went dark, he dragged in a ragged breath of air. Jane’s mouth caressed his shoulder.