His Michaelmas Mistress (8 page)

“You don’t look that different, and I didn’t go through the hell that you went through, Charles. How…what was your life over there? Did you…did you suffer much?”

“No…you mustn’t worry. I didn’t live in hell. I suppose, I lived a fairly easy life. The man who thought he was my father was a solicitor and a politician, and his wife liked to entertain—a lot. They had made money off the Revolution, you see, and managed to do well during Napoleon’s rule as well. I confess that when I awoke from my slumber…when I came to and remembered who I actually was, it hit me hard. They were good souls—or at least, they were good to me, but I still can’t resign myself to the fact that I was living with the very people who condemned so many of our kind. I know that my deciding to leave, broke their hearts. They still wanted me to stay with them, and he wanted me to help him with his law practice, and someday, take it over. They didn’t care that I wasn’t their son. But I couldn’t stay. I broke their hearts, and yet, I suppose the guilt I feel at doing that shouldn’t be there. I mean, they committed some terrible sins, didn’t they?”

“You think they openly betrayed a few French aristocrats?” she asked softly, wincing as thoughts of that terrible time penetrated her mind.

“I don’t think it, I know it. I felt so bloody wretched after the realization of what I had become, sunk in.”

“You can’t blame yourself. The mind is a funny thing, Charles. I am sorry that you went through that ordeal, and I am so relieved that you came out of the other end basically unscathed. I am happy that your mind has healed.”

“It wasn’t an ordeal until I realized who I was once,” he smiled sadly.

“Memories can either free us, or imprison us,” she mused.

“Oh, aye, that’s quite right. When the memory of who I was flooded back to me…I remembered you so clearly, it was almost painful. I wanted you so badly…I could almost feel you beside me.”

Julia sighed, and suddenly felt as if she were trapped, and she wanted to flee. She wanted to be anywhere but here. The look on his face told her that he would attempt to draw her into his arms, and that wasn’t where she wanted to be right now. She wanted to be with Freddie.

Where the bloody hell was Simon?

“Simon, I want to see The Library,” she could hear Ruby’s voice quite distinctly. She had power to her voice when she wanted to. Apparently, the woman wasn’t as afraid of her own shadow, as Julia had originally surmised. They both appeared in the doorway to The Library, and Simon looked distinctly uncomfortable.

“I daren’t think they want to be interrupted, Ruby. They have things to settle between them.”

“It has all been settled,” Julia said quickly, backing up so she stood with Ruby and Simon. “I shan’t think we should overstay our welcome, Simon.”

“But…but Ruby wanted to see The Library.”

“No, I don’t,” Ruby said airily. “I think we should return to Lark Hall,” she said sweetly.

Her perceptive eyes settled on Charles. Julia watched as Ruby silently accessed him. She looked like a woman who could read through and find the true person inside, that some attempted to conceal from others.

“Miss Massey, isn’t it?” Charles asked.

Ruby seemed taken aback. “Yes,” she said, shock lining her face.

However had Charles remembered her? Julia couldn’t even remember if the two of them had met, but then, she had visited Lark Hall quite a few times back then, although Julia had usually stayed away from her.

Julia often forgot that Ruby was close to her own age, as she seemed so much younger due to her shy diminutive nature. That shy nature seemed to be dissolving, as Ruby’s nerve grew stronger. Mayhap, she wasn’t shy. Mayhap, she was reserved, and clearly there was a difference.

“Charles never forgets a face…or a name,” Julia explained. “His mind is like a steel trap.”

“It once was, and I think…I think it can be once again. I only need to resign myself to the fact that there are now two men inside of me, and sometimes the second man tries to take over the first man. I have to say though, I prefer Charles Tempest, over who I was in France.”

That was what was so altered about him. Charles was different, even though he attempted to portray himself as being the same man—he wasn’t. He had more scars than what she thought he had.

“Now, then,” Charles said. “Who should like to help me win back Julia’s heart?”

“Julia,” Simon said, taking out the pocket watch his father had gifted him on his birthday. It was a beautiful piece, and the exterior featured gold, silver, diamonds, glass and enamels. Charles’s eyes went to it and settled upon it.

“Oh, that is a fine pocket watch,” he said. “It is something that is fit for a king.”

“Papa, likes to treat his children like they are Royalty. We are awfully spoiled,” Simon admitted. “Still, we aren’t spoiled rotten. I think, Julia, dear, that we should take our leave. Mama will wonder what is taking us so long.”

“Yes, indeed,” Julia said, giving him a warm smile. She was ever so grateful that none had risen to Charles’s challenge.

“Goodbye, Charles,” she said, sweeping out of the room with Ruby and Simon falling into step behind her.

“Goodbye,” his voice was faint, and her heart nearly broke.

She remained stoic, and as her mama said, kept her stiff upper lip, even though a riot of emotions battled within her. She couldn’t keep seeing him like this. No matter how much he seemed to want her, she couldn’t accept him. He wasn’t the man she loved anymore.

Tobias waited for them as they walked back to the front entryway.

“I take it that Charles didn’t have much luck with you, eh?” he asked softly.

“I can’t go back, Tobias,” she whispered, pain circling her heart.

“I thought as much. I tried convincing him of that fact, and yet, I do feel awfully sorry for him. He had such high hopes, Julia.”

“And I feel dreadful for dashing them, Tobias. But the girl I once was, no longer exists, and the man he once was…I am not certain exists anymore.”

“He is there…though I do agree, with you, sometimes that man fades away, and I am not entirely certain I like the man who takes his place.”

She shivered. “I suddenly feel quite chilled.” She made her way past Tobias, and he reached out for her arm, and pulled her away from Ruby and Simon.

“We shall be outside waiting for you, Julia. You have five minutes,” Simon said crisply, as the butler opened the door for them.

“Miss Massey…does she come with a dowry?” Tobias asked, looking a little too hopeful.

“She comes with nothing but herself, Tobias. I am sad to say that she is not at all like Rose or Iris when it comes to swimming in lard, dowry wise.”

“Ah,” his eyes became downcast. “I feared as much. Some of the loveliest ladies haven’t a penny to their name.”

“She would make you a fine wife, but she couldn’t breathe life back into this old place. Not unless her uncle decides to gift her with a dowry, and I daren’t think he shall. I think he has settled all of his riches upon George. Simon shall inherit Lark Hall, and the bulk of Uncle Edward’s Estate, and if Richard doesn’t marry, then, he shall also be the next Earl of Tisbury.”

“I see,” he said, clearly crestfallen. “I am sorry to hear that.”

“You shall find a suitable wife eventually, Tobias.”

He snorted. “You think I shall, eh? I haven’t that much hope anymore. I…I have almost given up marrying. Mayhap my title should die out. I can’t abide some of the heiresses that are on the marriage mart. They are insipid soulless creatures, and I shan’t leg-shackle myself to that kind of harridan. I lived with my Mama long enough to get a taste of what life can be like with such a shrew.

“I want a wife that will enrich my life, not terrorize it. However, Edward Lovett is helping me with my financial affairs, and if his Midas Touch comes through for me, I might not have to marry an heiress after all. And if I don’t have to marry an heiress, I’d set my cap on Miss Massey. She is the loveliest thing I’ve seen since I clapped eyes on Rose. She is dark haired, but she does remind me of Rose, Julia.”

She laughed. “Then, I wish you luck, Tobias.”

“Even after what happened between me and Rose?”

“Piffle. That is all in the past, isn’t it? And we are old friends. Nothing can break that bond. It is all forgiven, Tobias.”

“Oh, I’m awfully relieved to hear that. You have given me hope, Julia.”

“You might try to offer for Violet’s hand, once she is of age. If it all falls through with Uncle Edward breathing new life into your coffers. You could try now, but I think you would have Uncle Edward and Aunt Alice chasing you away, given the age difference between the two of you. Violet is quite enamoured with you, I think. Besides, she’d probably give her eye teeth to marry a duke. She’d love to know that she married higher than Rose and Iris. Of course, Rose and Iris care not about such things, and mayhap, Violet will mature enough someday that she shan’t care about it, either. No matter what happens, she shall be eighteen in one year, and she will come with a sizable dowry. I expect it would do wonders for this dusty old place.”

“Oh, aye, I should think so. Although, I’ve seen Violet, and she’s just a mere slip of a girl. I’d rather have Ruby, honestly. Thank you, Julia. You should go now, before your watchdogs return.”

“They aren’t watchdogs. They are chaperones.”

“Whatever you say, dear.” He smiled at her, and gave her a gallant bow.

“You are incorrigible,” she laughed.

As Julia turned to leave, she heard him say, “I hope you get that befuddled baron to realize that you truly are a gem amongst women.”

“I think he already knows. He fears that he is paste made up to look like a jewel, Tobias.”

“Ah, I understand. You shall simply have to convince him otherwise. As for Charles, I think I can convince him that you and he are rather ill matched now. It might take him a while to let go, but I daresay he will eventually. He hasn’t any other choice, does he? Too much has changed.”

She gave him one last smile, and left. She inhaled deeply, as the fresh cool air filled her lungs. She couldn’t wait to get back to Lovett Lands. 

“Shall we depart?” Simon asked, helping her and then Ruby up onto the curricle. “You know, Cousin Julia, this thing is a death trap.”

“Rose called it that once,” she held the reins. “It has always served me well, and gives me such a thrill when I’m racing.”

“I heard about those races. I heard you’ve won quite a bit of money through those races.”

“Who told you we made such wagers?”

“I shan’t expose my source,” Simon said stubbornly, walking back over to his horse and swinging up on it. The grooms dashed away, as they headed away from Avondale Abbey.

“Shall we race back this time?” Simon called to her.

“No…I haven’t the heart,” Julia said sadly.

He nodded his head at her, and kept pace with the curricle.

“The Duke is quite handsome. I thought by the way he was described at Lark Hall that he would look like a little toad,” Ruby mused.

“Oh, heavens, no,” Julia laughed. “He has his fine qualities as well, and I’ve never found him to be too disparaging on the eyes.”

“And Lord Charles…he looked a little different from how desperate he looked on your wedding day.”

“My wedding day that wasn’t…” Julia chuckled ruefully.

“You seem to be a woman who knows how to get what she wants, Julia,” Ruby said. Her forthright attitude struck her as odd, since everyone believed Ruby to be afraid of her own shadow but then, she was related to Thomas Somersby, and it seemed as if she had inherited some of his traits. To a lesser degree—but still they were there.

“Not always. Who I want right now, doesn’t seem to want me.”

“Perhaps, you just need to give him a little bit of motivation,” Ruby suggested. She sighed heavily. “Alas, I shall be relegated to the shelf for the rest of my life. I don’t think anyone would want what I have to offer. And I become terribly tongue tied around men that I fancy. I recoil, and have the sudden compulsion to run away. No matter how much I try to remain stalwart, I always seem to crumble, and I am either running or hiding. It is most vexing. No matter how much I try, I cannot control myself.”

“Did your mother give you a Season?” Julia asked.

“Uncle Thomas wanted to pay for it, but Mama wouldn’t hear of it. She doesn’t trust those men that search for wives on the marriage mart.”

Julia snorted. “How are they different from any other men?”

“I think it’s because she doesn’t want me marrying and moving away from her, and she doesn’t want me to marry any better than she did. She doesn’t want me to marry a man she hasn’t picked out for me. But more than that, she wants me under her thumb. She’s always wanted to control me. She has even picked out the man she wants me to marry. He is…he is…he is horrid, Julia. I can’t marry him. I know I couldn’t be intimate with him, and yet, I have a hard time disobeying my mother. She wants me with her constantly.”

“You are away from her right now, and she seems all right with that.”

“Oh, indeed, but she is in Uncle’s townhouse reaping the rewards of his riches, and she knows that I shall have to return, whether I want to or not. Aunt Alice shan’t want me sticking around forever.”

“She probably wouldn’t mind. Now that Rose and Iris have left the nest, I’m quite certain she’d take having you living there, and as for Uncle Edward, he really doesn’t mind at all. He has such a good and kindly nature, sometimes, it almost pains me to see him, because he reminds me so much of my own dear Papa.”

“My Papa didn’t have a sixpence to scratch with, but he had a good heart as well.”

“Have you ever thought to ask your Uncle if he would provide you with a dowry?” Julia asked.

“I…I have nerve with some people, Julia, but it quite escapes me whenever I am around Uncle Thomas.”

“I have the same problem. He renders me speechless. It is most vexing.”

Ruby laughed. “He adores you, though. He’s always talking about how corky you are, and how independent, and high spirited you are, and whenever he does it, he looks right at me. It is as if he is telling me he wants me to be more like you. I always found it quite irritating, but now that I’ve spent some time with you, I don’t find it nearly as annoying. I…just…sometimes I fumble over my words, and whenever the opposite sex is around me, I either go as quiet as the grave, or I say all of the wrong things.”

“Or you hide and flee from them,” Julia said, chuckling.

“Aye, I do,” Ruby agreed.

“Micah Radcliff had a similar problem. He didn’t hide or run away, mind you. No, Micah wouldn’t run from a bloody army, but he did have the awful habit of stumbling over his words, or not being able to find the right words. He really does have the penchant for putting his foot in his mouth, and yet, he still managed to court and marry, Rose. It is a bloody wonder…but he managed it,” Julia laughed. “Hmm…why don’t I try to match you up with someone?

“Now, if Freddie were still around…he and Tiny could match you up with a suitable chap. They take the credit for putting Rose and Micah together, Iris and Lewis, and they also think they helped their Colonel Elliot and Ginny Larkin to the altar…but I don’t think they helped much in that courtship. I think that Ginny’s family had a hand in matching her up with the Colonel.

“The Lovetts are related to the Devilles, you see. My great-great-grandfather’s youngest sister married Valentine Deville’s great-grandfather, so it does go back a ways and sometimes, we remember the connection. Of course, I suppose that since we can actually trace them on the family tree without looking that they are close enough to us. They have been here to a visit us a few times. They love Castleton Court and Lark Hall, and Ginny and Val are dear girls. They like London, more than we Lovetts do. We like to stick to our ancestral lands.

“Come to think of it, I should actually urge Simon to invite the Deville boys here sometime. They were all chums at Eton and stuck together. I believe that Cyril was in the same year as Simon, and Lady Ann Hardwicke is a friend of mine, and Ginny wrote me to tell me that Clarence fancies Ann. We could throw the two of them together, and play at being two little Venus’s. Mayhap, they’d come for Christmastide.

“Oh, and their cousin, Lord Selby is on the hunt for a wife. He tried nabbing Valentina first, and then offered for Ginny, but they both found love elsewhere,” she laughed. “Apparently, Clarence told him he was all out of sisters. I only hope that he doesn’t deduce that Clarence isn’t out of cousins—distant though they might be. Of course…he might set his cap on you, Ruby. You are quite pretty, and he doesn’t need the money, his Grandfather’s Estate is well-inlaid, and he is one day set to be a duke!”

Ruby gasped. “I couldn’t hope to marry a man that would one day inherit a dukedom. And I thank you for your compliment, Julia, but I am not as lovely as you, or many girls out there for that matter.”

“You sell yourself short, Ruby. Well, Tobias was interested in you. If you had that dowry, he’d propose to you so fast it would make your head spin. Tobias works that way. Once he sees something he likes, he offers for it.”

A lone rider approached them. A shiver went up her spine. The man was masked. Masked or not, she knew who he was. However had he found her? Of course, it wasn’t too hard, since she was on the road back to Castleton.

Simon looked a little concerned. “I say, Julia, isn’t that…”

“Aye, it is,” she said softly.

“Why is he dressed like that? He is no outlaw.”