His Last Name (30 page)

C
HAPTER
76

Zakiya

T
he definition of faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. I have faith in God, but my faith in people is down to none. Everyone around me has disappointed me.

What I began to realize is my church family was just as shady as the worldly basketball wives I was trying to stay away from. There were babies born out of wedlock, cheating, affairs, backstabbing, gambling, and stealing. People were still concerned with who has money and who doesn't. The only difference really is Jesus, being anointed, and walking with God was thrown in the conversation.

I knew God wasn't only in the church. He was inside every crack and crevice of everything and everybody. And knowing that, I had been praying and praying, hoping God would speak to me. I picked up the phone. I had to speak to somebody. I felt defeated.

“Sister Talisha, it's me, Zakiya.” I paused and then I couldn't hold back the tears as I cried.

“Zakiya, are you okay? Whatever it is, give it to God.”

“I know, I'm trying. I'm trying. I've been reading my bible all day and praying and . . .”

“What's wrong?”

“I can't take it anymore. I prayed and I prayed. I prayed hard and my husband still isn't faithful. He still drinks and smokes. What can I do? Do I stay and continue or do I leave?” I waited for her answer. At the moment, I was afraid that she would share that I had a sham marriage to the other churchwomen. But I just knew that she had a relationship with God and that she couldn't possibly tell me to read a part in the bible or a passage that would fix everything.

She didn't ask me any more questions. She just went straight into prayer mode.

“Lord, we believe in you. Father God, you are the best, we know that you are present every day and that we don't walk alone. It is you who walks besides us holds our hands and guides our steps. I'm asking you to please help Zakiya, please help her husband and family through any hardship they are going through. Please strengthen her through this storm and bless her life with your love.”

“Thank you for the prayer, because I feel like I'm losing my faith.”

“Don't say that. You must always have faith.”

“No, I do feel this way. I don't understand it. I've been helping people, praying, giving to charity. How can this whore win my husband? Why hasn't God answered my prayer?”

“He will, be patient.”

“When? When is he going to do the right thing? When? When? When? I need help now. Right now. Because I don't know what else to do but leave him. I'm going to divorce my husband.”

“God is perfect, man is not. If in your heart you feel like you have done everything you could have done, then remove yourself from the situation.”

I stopped crying momentarily and asked, “Do you think I am making the right decision?”

“That's between you and the Lord. Let God lead your steps. Whatever you need to do I am here for you.”

I muttered a “Yes,” in between sobs. I knew what I had to do.

C
HAPTER
77

Shanice

I
should have hung up the moment I heard his voice. He wasn't my problem anymore. Whatever was going on with his life, he needed to deal with it on his own. All those thoughts were in my head, but deep down there was a place in my heart for him. He was still my baby.

“Jabril, you ruined my party. You started a fight and now you want me to care.”

“She's gone and she took my daughter and left the keys, her ring, and divorce papers. I need you here with me. Shanice, please come here. I need you.” The sucker in me felt sorry for Jabril, but I had my own business I needed to handle.

“I can't come. I have an appearance tonight in Maryland. And they paid me half of my money already.”

“I'll pay it back.”

“It's seven thousand dollars.”

“I don't care. I'll give you the money to refund them.”

“I can't, Jabril. I'm sorry.” I felt horrible for Jabril, but what did he expect. His wife should have left him. He never was home and when he was home, he was asleep and his mind and his thoughts were elsewhere.

Courtney came into my room. She was so excited I was allowing her to travel with me.

“Shani, what time are we leaving?”

“I don't know yet. I might have to go to North Carolina. Jabril's wife left him.”

I could tell Courtney wanted to say something, but she didn't want to be back on my bad side.

“If you love him, go. He does love you. He came and took that ass whupping for you.”

We both laughed. “Deuce did fuck him up.” I sat on the bed. “I'm so confused. Just because she left him, does that mean I should go back to him? I do still love him, but I have Deuce.”

“It won't hurt to just go check on him.”

“I can check on him. Make sure he's cool. He's going to pay me the money the promoter already paid me, so I can pay the promoter back. Don't worry, I'm going to still give you the money I promised you.”

“You don't have to.”

“No, Courtney. I'm going to give you your money. I have to figure out how I am going to get out of this club date without upsetting the promoter and April. Then I can't let Deuce find out.”

“Just say you're sick.”

I had Courtney take a picture of me looking sick and posted it onto my Instagram. I called April and told her. She told me she would handle everything for me and to send her the money in the bank.

* * *

Charlotte was ten hours away from Philadelphia. I could have flown, but I drove and talked Jabril off the cliff the entire ride. So why was he on the phone when I got there ordering flowers for her?

“I'm confused; what do you need me here for if you begging her to come back? I have a man and I don't have to put up with this.”

“Calm down, Shani. It's not like that. I just don't want her to take me for everything I have.”

“Well, tell me how it is.”

“I love you, Shanice, but I love her, too, but me and her are never going to work. We are just two different types of people and I want to be with you.”

I waited years for Jabril to tell me he loved me. And now that he finally had, I didn't know what I was going to do.

C
HAPTER
78

Monique

 

P
raying over my nephew's bed every night for two weeks brought me back to reality. My reality is family first. Faheem survived being shot, but will walk with a limp for the rest of his life.

I was so shaken up by Faheem getting shot that I had to fix my relationship with Kadir immediately. Nothing in my life was more important than him.

I moved Mom Laura and CeCe to North Carolina with me. I didn't want any of my family in the city anymore. I even asked my mom to move down, but she said she was okay.

Faheem is going to school down here, too. He transferred to North Carolina A&T.

I put all my energy into Kadir and his career. He's been on the cover of
Slam
magazine and he's been named one to watch by ESPN writers. I want Kadir Hall to be a brand, get endorsements, have a legacy, and be able to enjoy his wealth. We've put ourselves on a budget and are not spending as much. With that said, I couldn't make my son look bad anymore, so I ended my relationship with Dele. I'm Kadir's mom and he is my son, but we share the same last name and I represent him, so Dele had to go. It wasn't easy, but I did what was necessary. Dele told me I was making a horrible decision, but I couldn't think about me—I had to put Kadir's interest first. I think about Dele from time to time. I still love him, but Kadir didn't approve, so it couldn't be. No matter what happens, it's me and Kadir against the world. It has been Monique and Kadir since he was born. And no one will ever come between us. No one, not even Abigail, who is finally gone for good. Kadir is dating a nice girl who is a sophomore at Howard University, studying biology. She wants to be a pediatrician. He met her All Star Weekend; her name is Laila. At least something good happened that weekend. I like Laila and I'm trying not to get too attached to her, but hopefully one day I will have a daughter-in-law who is a doctor.

Carl stays in Philly and I have started dating again. There isn't anyone special yet, but when I do meet someone, I will make sure he is Kadir approved.

C
HAPTER
79

Tiffany

M
y days are consumed with the morning news, game shows, reality shows, and then repeat. One day I dream of living on my own again, finding love, making my own money, but not right now.

I have not left my home in six months for several reasons. One, being afraid that someone would see me. I've gained one hundred and thirteen pounds. My mother and I don't speak. She is repulsed by me. She probably wishes Damien had killed me or that I was in jail with him so she wouldn't have to be bothered with me.

I don't know what haunts me more, him or my conscience. I hear Damien's voice every night when I'm resting. Him saying, “Don't leave me. I need you, Tiff.” I knew he had abandonment issues and maybe I shouldn't have left him.

I knew he didn't have any real family and yet I still bailed on him when it got rough. But part of me feels like I didn't make him do anything, especially not rob banks.

With all that said and done, I take full responsibility. No matter what anyone says, I should have never left him. I should have helped him manage his money better when we had millions. I should have been working and helping him build businesses; instead I spent and spent.

As for Warren, I always knew he was gay. I asked him when we were in college, and without hesitating he said he didn't know. He told me he liked both. Once I caught him with my bi friend. I was okay with it, because he promised me he would only do it with me there. And I believed him. Until I caught him again, and that made it easy for me to leave him to be with Damien. He always wanted a beard and he got one. I'm not a beard, I'm just a secret keeper. He pays me monthly for my silence and I'm glad to have income.

C
HAPTER
80

Shanice

A
few hearts had to break for us to be together, but shit happens. Jabril had to see me with Deuce to appreciate me, and I had to leave Deuce to be with Jabril. And none of it would have happened if Zakiya had stayed with Jabril.

That was her choice to leave. He wouldn't have ever put her out or left her. She just should have known that Jabril is never going to be a traditional husband, though. He's into a lot of shit that she isn't. You got to be able to be yourself in a relationship. In me Jabril had a confidante, a freaked out chick, his lover, his side chick, and wifey all rolled into one, and I wasn't faking. I was really who I was.

He can go out with his friends, flirt, smoke, drink, and be himself. I don't mind Jabril doing whatever he wants, because I know that his dick and paycheck come home to me. And because I don't trip on him, we don't have any cheating issues. He's never stayed the night out on me and he calls me when he's going to be late.

And Deuce. I tried to call him to make peace and thank him for all he did for me, but he has changed all of his numbers. I even went to apologize in person and he had me escorted out of the building. It's for the best anyway. Jabril wouldn't have gone for me being friends with an ex.

Last night Jabril and I were filming the second season of
Eye Candy Queens
:
The Come-up.
Now that he is divorced, he doesn't have a problem being on the show. I think he might even like all the attention.

Now that we are officially together, I could sit back and rest, but I'm not. I have a mother and daughter to provide for and I like having my own money. I'm still out here hustling like I'm broke and my man doesn't make seven figures. He was traded again to the Celtics and is doing well on that team. It's a much better fit for him. I have the reality show, hosting nightclub dates, my “Twelve Months of Shani Amore” calendar, Ms. Amore dress line, and I'm the new face of Charms Moscato.

The moral of the story is that men don't change. They like what they like. No matter how bad you want to change a man, he won't change unless he wants to.

What I do know is that good girls don't always win, but bad girls always get what they want. I wanted Jabril and I got him.

C
HAPTER
81

Zakiya

T
he only man I ever loved was Jabril Smith, but he didn't love me as much as he loved himself. He doesn't love his daughter, either. He can't. If he did, he would have never chosen Shanice. He said he wanted his family, but his actions proved otherwise.

He's back having his picture taken with bottles of alcohol and women half dressed in the club.

I love him. I want my daughter to have her father, but to actually sit back and tolerate being cheated on to my face—I couldn't do it. So I filed for divorce and he didn't contest. I wasn't worried about his money, I knew Jabril would make sure that Jabrilah and I were well taken care of and he did.

Some people, including my own sister, said I was crazy for letting Jabril go. She said I'm handing him over to the side chick. She said I should have stayed and fought for my husband, but you can't fight for someone who doesn't want to be with you. When I moved out, he immediately moved her in, instead of coming to Philly to get me.

Yes, I miss my husband and being Mrs. Jabril Smith and the perks that came along with it. But I prayed and prayed and in the end, I'd rather wake up happy and single than married and miserable.

I'll take peace of mind over a name and a title any day.