His Darkest Salvation (26 page)

“But what does that mean?” Her words exploded in a rush of air. “An explanation would be good right about now.” She looked back at Finn. “What is Julian trying to say?”

Finn ran hands across his temple and exhaled. “Our world is made up of layers, the human realm being one of many. This portal has the ability to open several of them.” Finn glanced toward Julian, and the look that passed between the two men set her teeth on edge. She clenched them together, ignored the pain that sliced its way along her jaw, and looked at the both of them.

“No talking in riddles. I need this laid out real precise.”

Julian turned at her words, and again she was taken aback by the utter lack of emotion in him. “It means the portal is not only a direct conduit to the demon realm, it can also be used as a path to the upper realm.”

“The upper realm,” she echoed. “Like heaven?”

“Bingo. That would be it, the penthouse suite,” Declan answered.

Shocked silence followed his words, and Jaden didn’t quite know what to say. The thought of someone like Cormac managing to rip open hell was bad enough. The human realm would suffer greatly, would in fact never recover.

But what would happen if he successfully opened a path to the upper realm? The battle would be unprecedented, their world forever altered.

“Sounds like one hell of a party, don’t you think?” Though Declan grinned at all of them, she sensed his anger. The energy around him thickened as his eyes narrowed. “I can’t wait.”

She crossed to Julian and stood within inches of him. She heard his heart beating, saw the pulse at the base of his neck. Her gaze wandered to the scars under his pectoral before traveling back up to his face.

“Is this what you and Declan are hiding? Why didn’t you tell me the other night?”

A muscle worked its way across his cheek, but he remained silent, his golden eyes narrowed on her.

Her animal reacted, and her fist flew out to thump him in the chest. Hard. “What the hell is wrong with you? You’re acting like a fucking zombie.”

Her gaze fell on Declan. “Seriously, why would you keep such crucial information to yourself? This situation has just gone from shit to worse.”

The sorcerer’s eyes glistened, and his teeth slashed white as he smiled crookedly at her. He turned without another word and clasped Julian on the shoulder.

“You wanna fill her in?” he murmured. “Secret’s out, sport.”

Jaden stared at the two of them, her chest heaving and a truckload of emotion threatening to break through.

“My reasons are none of your concern.” Julian stared at her and bared his teeth, before glancing toward Finn. “This information must stay between us. You do understand the consequence if it gets into the wrong hands.”

Finn nodded and remained silent. Julian turned to leave.

“Do not walk away from me,” Jaden shouted at his back. She rolled her shoulders as she tried to contain the anger that was agitating her cat something fierce. She could not believe he would keep something so important from her.

The others slipped into the chamber and were greeted by Declan. “I think maybe we should leave them alone, it seems they have some issues to work out.” Declan nodded to Finn and turned back toward the passage. “We’ll give you five minutes. Then we need to vamoose.”

Jaden bit the inside of her mouth and ignored the pain as she watched Cracker and Finn follow the sorcerer from the chamber. Nico, however, refused to follow and took several more steps until he was inches from her. He was angry, his hands clenched to his sides.

She knew he wouldn’t leave unless she told him to. “Go, Nico, I’ll be fine. Castille and I need to . . . come to an understanding of sorts.”

The jaguar turned eyes that were as flat as obsidian on Julian, and Nico growled menacingly. “If you touch her, I will kill you.”

“You could try, but it wouldn’t end well for you.”

Nico took a step toward him, but Jaden stepped between them and put her hand on his chest. “Nico, I’ll only be a minute.” She watched as conflicting emotions ran over his handsome face, and, in that moment, Jaden wished with all her heart that Nico belonged to her.

Her life would be so much easier.

Instead, she was forever linked to a man who disliked her as much as she did him.

“Go,” she said softly. She felt Nico tense beneath her touch. He looked down at her and didn’t bother to hide the need, the pain that lay there. She knew on some level he thought of her as his. That she was his responsibility.

She also knew it was a facade. The man had loved intensely and lost everything. He still belonged to Bella even though she no longer walked the earth.

How would it feel to have someone love you that way? She ached at the thought.

“Please,” she whispered. He glanced at Julian once more. Her gaze followed Nico as he left the room. And then she was left in silence with the man who twisted her insides so badly that she felt ill.

“We need to tell Jaxon and the others.” Her tone was matter-of-fact as she turned back to Julian.

“No.” His one-word answer was simple, yet she sensed the intensity of his resolve.

“You’re unbelievable,” she snorted, and threw her hands in the air. “You think you’re the Lone Ranger or something? Riding in to save the day? That’s not how it works.”

“No one can know. It’s bad enough you are in possession of such knowledge.” His eyes glittered, their depths like liquid honey. He moved quickly, gliding across the room with the sensuality and grace of his animal. “No one can be trusted.”

“You think Jaxon would betray you? Jagger? Are you fucking nuts?” she huffed, impotent anger burning her insides. “I’m no fan of Jaxon. Hell, he’s just as arrogant as you are, seems to be a Castille trait. But I do know he’d protect what’s his with his life.” She looked at him, her eyes wide. “You’re his family.”

Julian blew out hot air. She felt the caress of it against her cheek and shuddered as it fell across her skin. Goose bumps broke out along her arms, and she kept herself stiff, when all she wanted to do was wrap herself tight and gather a bit of warmth to her.

She was so cold and tired of it all.

“I know my brothers would give their lives for me,” he answered harshly. “I can’t vouch for anyone else in their organization. If word gets out about the true power of this portal, every sick and depraved son of a bitch is gonna want in on this game. Your enemies will be tenfold within hours.”

She opened her mouth as anger lit her tongue, but nothing came out. He was right. As much as it killed her to admit it, he was. “I hate secrets,” she whispered instead.

Julian smiled then, his even white teeth a contrast to the dark color of his skin. Her breath hitched in her chest, and an unfamiliar ache took hold.

“I’m surprised. Secrets seem to be second nature to you.” His gaze moved to the clan tattoos that lay at her neck, and his hand followed them. She flinched as his fingers caressed the intricate design. “DaCosta jaguar, yet you belong to a Castille.”

His eyes were no longer golden but flecked with specks of black. His voice was rough. “I wonder,” he continued, but then stopped.

“What?” she mouthed softly, strangely entranced by the moment.

“If we’d met under different circumstance. If we didn’t”—he exhaled—“have all this shit to deal with, would we still feel this way?”

Jaden gazed at him, her heart tight with emotion. “How do you feel?”

Julian frowned, his hand fell from her flesh. “Confused, empty, and filled with a craving for something that belongs to me but I’m not sure I want.”

Her chest split into slices of hurt, yet she kept her face devoid of emotion. She would never let him know how much his cruel words tore at her.

“Just so you know, for future reference, it’s
you
who belong to
me.”

Calmly, she stepped away from him.

“Who pulled you from wherever the hell you were?”

Julian studied her in silence for several long moments.

“Look, if I’m going to keep this on the down low and work with you to recover this portal, I need to know everything. Bottom line, you come clean with me, and I’ll consider all our options.”

He exhaled harshly and she knew that he was struggling with something.

“Who was it? Who do you answer to?”

His right hand crept over the scars on his chest. “I don’t know,” he answered.

“What do you mean you don’t know? How can that be?” She was incredulous and didn’t believe a word he’d just spoken.

Julian cocked his head to the side and shrugged. “I know nothing of him other than his name, Bill.”

“Bill,” she repeated. He had to be joking. Yet why did the name tug at something inside her? What was she missing?

There was no time to figure it out at the moment. She filed it away.

“Bill,” he said again, though she got the impression he was worlds away from her.

“So, this
Bill
released you from . . . where?”

He closed his eyes. “A place of darkness, despair, and constant pain.”

“Why?” she asked as she watched him closely. She hated the sliver of compassion that she felt. The man was all kinds of wrong for her. He’d used her even though she apparently meant nothing to him.

You used him, too.

She banished her inner voice and focused on the reality. She had every reason on earth to hate the very sight of him, but . . . there was something that called to her, and it was more than just the fact she’d claimed him as a mate three years earlier.

Something pulled at the strings inside her until she was turned inside out with a need to touch him.
To comfort him.

Julian’s eyes flew open, and her heart turned over at the savage look that hung in them. He growled, low and deep, from his belly, and stepped away from her.

Her eyes fell to his hands. He clenched and unclenched them, and she knew he was close to the edge.

“Why?” He laughed harshly. “Simple, really. Declan and I have the motivation needed to do whatever it takes to get the job done.”

“And I don’t?” she asked incredulously. “I’ve given up the last several years of my life in order to find the fucking thing and make sure it’s sealed forever.”

Julian’s eyes darkened until the gold was gone completely. The dangerous edge she’d sensed earlier rose to the fore and draped his powerful shoulders in a caress of darkness.

He smiled, a cold, calculated grin that did nothing to warm the lethal look in his eyes. “Lady, if we’re not successful in finding the portal, I’m screwed for eternity. The pain, the darkness that eats at me every second of every day will win. It will never stop.”

Her gaze fell once more to the scars on his chest, and he thumped them with the palm of his hand. She winced as he did so but couldn’t look away.

“Pretty, aren’t they? They’re a constant reminder of what I’ve lost.”

“And what’s that?” she asked hesitantly, not sure that she really wanted to know.

“Half of my soul was ripped from me, taken in pieces. Tiny fucking pieces.” His eyes bored into hers, and she swallowed thickly at the intensity of his gaze. “Every minute that I’m in the human realm, a little more of my soul dies. If we can’t get to the portal and destroy it within seven days, we’ll be lost forever. Hell on earth will be living inside me, and I’ll never recover.”

He would be like one of
them.
The shades that had wandered aimlessly in the underworld, feeding off the bottom like rabid dogs.

His fingers rubbed the raw edges of his scars. “Even now I can feel it, eating at me, destroying anything that is good and honorable.” He drew in a long breath, his dark eyes steady on hers, his teeth bared. “I told you I was nothing like before. If you were smart, you’d stay far away. Who knows what the hell I’ll be in a few days, or even tomorrow?”

Jaden was silent, and even if she wanted to say something, her vocal cords were frozen.

His mouth twisted into a feral grin. “I’ll be neither human, nor shifter . . . I’ll be nothing more than a vessel of empty space and doomed to live that way for eternity.”

He turned from her and moved toward the passage, leaving her to stare after him.

“So yeah, pretty damn good motivation, don’t you think?”

Chapter 19

J
aden watched Julian disappear through the small passage, his tall frame barely able to clear the ceiling. A shiver rolled across her skin, and she hugged herself tightly. There was just way too much to process, and none of it was good.

Her mind was tired; hell, her body was pretty much done, yet there was still so far to go. Her fingers ran along her forearms, and an image of Julian’s dark skin against hers planted itself in her brain.

Such sadness grabbed at her soul. It puzzled her that he could pull such intense emotions from her.

Angrily, she pushed them away and moved toward the passage. There was no time to linger; they had no such luxury.