His Californian Countess (7 page)

Jamie must have felt her hesitate on the threshold. His hand on the small of her back reassured her even as she suppressed a shiver of delicious awareness at his nearness and his sheer masculine size. “We are the first here, Pixie,” he said, his breath stirring the fine hairs at her nape as he steered her into the room.

“The other is for the ship’s officers,” he explained and steered her toward the first table and around to the back so they would face the door. As he pulled her chair out, he added, “This is why I wished to arrive so early. Now the others must join us. I have placed you in a position of power.”

“Queen of all I survey, eh? Did your Mimm teach you that?”

He shook his head and smiled grimly. “My uncle saw to it I was raised to be an earl. Mimm would not know how to go on in society. She is not a governess, you will remember.”

“That is the position you offered me.”

“No. If we found we didn’t suit, that is the pursuit I
offered you within the boundaries of my household. You said you didn’t want to feel you were taking my charity. I would prefer you be my wife and a mother to Meara.”

“How can you know that? We are still strangers,” she countered and stared at him. Her stomach flipped as if they’d suddenly found themselves in a squall. But the ship was not to blame. It was the heat in his eyes. The violet had deepened so much they resembled bluebonnets, the Texas wildflower she’d seen on display at the Centennial Exhibition in Philadelphia.

He caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers, sending her heart tripping over itself and her stomach dropping into yet another trough. “But there is that bond I cannot forget,” he said quietly. “And I don’t believe you can, either.”

If only he weren’t right.

D
uring the meal Amber shared her education and love of teaching with the passengers. She dodged any questions into their personal lives so the meal progressed with general conversation.

They returned to the saloon outside their staterooms. Like the dining room, it was ornately decorated, with exotic wood wainscoting and padded silk panels above. A beautiful stained-glass skylight cast a rosy glow over the lovely room. A glow reflected in mirrors set in a wall of gilded arches.

“Would you sit a while with me?” Jamie asked. “The sofa looks quite comfortable. Perhaps we’ll have a few private moments to ask the most pressing questions we have for each other.

“I may invest in the bank of that Jones fellow I was talking with. It is an interstate concern. It would be convenient for me to have a branch of the same bank in New York and San Francisco since I have residences in both cities now.”

“What businesses are you involved in?”

“I began by investing funds in American railroads, then in a few mining operations in Pennsylvania.” He frowned slightly and stared at nothing in particular.

Amber’s stomach tightened, remembering all that looking for Helena implied. “Did you have anything to do with the Pinkertons and what they did there last summer?”

He grimaced. “Yes and no. I worked undercover with them until I learned exactly what Franklin Gowery had planned. He lied to me from the first or I’d never have become involved. It all had very little to do with learning who was sabotaging mining operations around the coal patch and more about a way to expand his power over the miners.”

“What do you intend to do with that information?” she asked, hoping he was the person she’d come to believe he was.

“I’ve divested my stake in American mines and refused to have anything to do with the trials of those arrested. Not that I condone the sabotage and murders some of them committed. The entire affair left me with a bad taste and I want nothing to do with most men who run American coal mines.”

His narrowed gaze studied her. “Why did you switch your accommodations with Helena Conwell?” She could see he was angry and trying to hide it. Perhaps fight it.

Amber couldn’t look away, though she was terribly uncomfortable. She wished she didn’t care what he’d think of what she’d done. She was the author of his heartbreak after all. But no matter the consequence, she had to tell the truth. Otherwise it would hang over her head like the sword of Damocles.

She took a fortifying breath. “Because when I visited my uncle in Wheatonburg, I saw her and realized how
much we look like each other. I was a decoy the night she left town. I traveled in one direction wearing her clothes while she went in another. It was supposed to confuse her guardian and the men he was sure to have looking for her. She wanted him and anyone connected with him out of her life.”

Jamie’s eyes narrowed further. “So you are why she isn’t aboard. Where did she go?”

“She never intended to be aboard. California wasn’t her destination. Before you ask, I don’t know where she went. That way I couldn’t be forced to reveal anything of her plans.”

That he was in love with Helena was apparent by the annoyance in his tone. Amber’s heart fell. She and Helena might look alike, but no one who knew them would confuse them. Especially if that someone was in love with Helena. Even wearing her clothes, Amber would never measure up.

Jamie’s lips thinned. “Did she leave alone?”

She had to keep silent. It was the least she could do for the man Helena had fallen in love with, Brendan, Amber’s childhood friend. After all, Brendan could still be in danger from Franklin Gowery and his Pinkerton agents.

“She’d reached her majority. She was free of her guardian. Helena didn’t trust him. He was bent on forcing her to marry a man of his choice.”

“Do you think I don’t know that!” he snapped. He stared at her for a long moment, then looked away.

“I am sorry, Jamie. You were caught up in our web of deception and I fear in Helena’s mind you were tarred with the same brush as Franklin Gowery.”

He didn’t rail at her. Instead, he sighed and raked a
hand though his hair. “Helena misread my intentions. She thought I was after her money, which is ironic, when one contemplates it. I hope her ruse worked and she’s rid of him. The man is dangerous. It sickens me that I was taken in by him for so long.”

She lay her hand over his. “It sounds as if you’ve done all you can to lessen the impact of your actions. I imagine you would have done more to repair any damage you caused if you hadn’t followed me on to the ship. I am truly sorry. You could have died.”

“I’d have been as ill on land and with nowhere near as pretty a nurse. Perhaps, as Mimm is always telling me, everything happens for the best.”

Before either of them could say more, the other passengers arrived in the saloon and Amber excused herself to rest. She had to find a way to keep Jamie from burrowing further into her heart. Because she didn’t believe Mimm’s axiom. Her parents, brothers, aunt and Joseph were all dead. There was no way all those losses could be for the best.

Jamie sat on the sofa in the saloon outside their staterooms. It had been a week since he’d learned exactly why Amber had been traveling under Helena’s name. He hadn’t spent all that much private time with her since. The ship didn’t lend itself to alone time outside their staterooms and that Amber wouldn’t consider. Anger had simmered in his heart at her, but only for a few hours. He hadn’t been able to hold on to it. Not against her sunny smiles and the very real truth that it had been his mishandling of Helena that had caused any number of problems, all of which she held against him.

Full of nervous energy, he checked his appearance
in the saloon’s arched mirrors. He tugged on his black waistcoat, brushed a bit of lint off the sleeve of his gray frock coat, frowning at his reflection. He tried to see himself from Amber’s viewpoint, hoping he didn’t look too somber. His black satin cravat wasn’t tied with the skill Hadley showed, but since his valet would have spent the voyage sick and miserable he was traveling with Mimm and Meara.

He sighed and turned away in disgust. Why worry about his appearance? What did it matter? He’d already made the worst impression possible on his new wife and he hadn’t been wearing a stitch at the time. Still, though she continued to keep him at arm’s length, he was getting to know her better. Amber was intelligent, kindhearted and quick-witted.

He was trying not to rush her, but he wanted her more every day. He was not, however, a callow youth who couldn’t rein in his needs. And he had.

So far.

He was sure Amber had no idea he dreamed of her every night and often woke painfully aroused. He paced back across the saloon, checked his watch, then slid it back into his pocket. Tonight they were invited to eat with the captain in his quarters. He’d promised to find them some time alone.

If Captain Baker said it, Jamie knew it would come to pass. The older man had become a trusted male adviser to Jamie. That was something he hadn’t had since his father selfishly took his own life and left Jamie at the mercy of Oswald Reynolds.

The captain had suggested he not pressure Amber, but the lack of progress with her worried Jamie. He’d find her staring at him with a troubled look in her eyes
he couldn’t decipher. And there was a sadness in her now that hadn’t been there when they sailed. A sadness he knew was his fault. The guilt was killing him. Tonight he planned to use whatever alone time Baker bought him to discover a way to fix some of the damage he’d caused to her heart.

Behind him a door opened and Jamie pivoted. Amber wore a dress that shone golden in the light beaming in through the skylight above her head. The gown had an underdress of gleaming white satin that was covered with yards and yards of ruffled golden lace. She was a vision of loveliness, but it was the neckline that held him transfixed. To be more exact, it was the extensive display of her creamy bosom and shoulders that held his gaze prisoner.

“You’re staring.” Amber grasped her shawl together in front. “What was I thinking?” she cried. “I cannot wear this. Whatever was Miss Conwell thinking to commission it?” she rushed on. A blush spread from her cheeks to her neck before she turned back toward her doorway. “I will make us late. You should go on without me.”

Jamie reached over her head and barred the door with his arm. “I’ll do no such thing. And neither will you. I’m the worst clod in creation if I made you feel anything but gloriously lovely. I’m sorry.”

She tipped her head up and stared at him. “You think I look lovely?”

Encouraged by the hopeful wonder in her words, he nodded and kissed her ripe pink lips. He thought to make it a quick salute, but his mouth seemed to have developed a mind and hunger all its own, until her sweet moan called him back to sanity. He took charge of his errant body and straightened. Her eyes flew open and
she covered her mouth with her fingertips. He thought it best not to mention the moisture gathering in her eyes or that she’d dropped the shawl.

“Have you no mirror in there?” he asked and took her by the shoulders, trying to ignore the soft skin beneath his hands. He brought her unresisting into the saloon and turned her to face her reflection.

It was a moment of clarity for him, as well. The mirror framed him standing behind her. They looked so perfectly right together. He ached with need, but forced his thoughts to her. “Look at yourself,” he demanded. “How can you not know? I am the luckiest devil alive to have you on my arm.”

“I don’t know what to say.” She stared at his refection. “If you’re sure…”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” he lied. Oh, he was sure he wanted her. Leaving her at her door later that night would be a nearly impossible task. He pulled the door shut and held out his hand, gesturing with the other toward the narrow companionway leading to the captain’s quarters. “We shouldn’t keep Captain Baker waiting.”

A
mber heard Jamie curse under his breath, but then he smiled. There was something so mischievous about his look she had to question it. “What are you smiling about?” she demanded.

His gaze flicked to his reflection in one of the saloon mirrors as they passed it. He looked over at her, then looked away, clearly searching for a response.

If he thought the dress was inappropriate, why didn’t he just say so? She wished she’d tried it on before having it ironed for dinner. Amber stepped in front of him. “You’re blushing, my lord. Perhaps I do need to change.”

“Why? You look like an angel.” He groaned. “It was your gloves, if you must know. I was mentally cursing them. I would like to at least be permitted to hold your hand in mine without a glove between us.” Now it was her turn to blush. “I’m such an utter clod. Now I’ve scandalized you. I should have warned you that I’ve managed to avoid most social occasions here and back in Britain. I didn’t go about in society all that much
before my first marriage, you see. And even less since I’ve been a widower.”

Was he trying to convince her he was unsophisticated? It wouldn’t work. He was too astute and canny. Too handsome for his own good, as well. “I’m not fooled. You’ve been married so—”

“I attended exactly three balls during London’s Season that year before I married a woman my uncle chose…”

“The woman who somehow caused you to be caught in a compromising position with her thus forcing you into marriage.”

He grimaced. “I wish I could go back and redo that morning I shouted at you.”

“That is the problem with mistakes, my lord. They cannot be so easily undone. But I’ve always thought that was their purpose. Consequence is the great teacher, is it not?”

She’d certainly learned a lesson from this whole fiasco. She’d never let herself be talked into anything that she thought was a bad idea again. She should have been more afraid for her heart and less for his daughter.

The only problem was that she wasn’t sure that was a lesson she wanted to learn. Children were her weakness, but a weakness she refused to regret.

“You’re very wise for one so young.”

“Young? I was twenty-four at my last birthday. I was taking Helena under
my
wing when I came up with this idea to masquerade as her.”

“There, you see. You have me at a great disadvantage. You seem to be privy to a good deal of personal and often humiliating information about me, while I scarcely know anything about you.”

She raised one of her delicate eyebrows. “And yet
you claim to wish our marriage to continue. I have to conclude that is because you feel you have no choice and are bound by duty.”

He paused steps from the captain’s door. “That isn’t true. I wish the marriage to continue because I know enough about you to be nearly sure we’ll suit. You are good. Kind. And moral. In Britain, and indeed in the upper echelon of your society here in America, pretense is often all that is shared before marriage.”

She shrugged. That was true. Patience, her friend from college, had married one of the wealthiest men in New York and was miserable. He was not what he had seemed to be when they’d courted. She lived as a virtual prisoner and was only permitted to leave their house in his company.

So perhaps Jamie was right. He needed to understand that Amber knew how to fit into drawing rooms, but that she didn’t want to live with such rigid constraints, either. Hoping to shock some sense into him, Amber put her fingertip in her mouth and bit down on the tip of the glove, then pulled, stripping off the offending gloves one finger after another. One glove after the other. A silent statement that she was of another class than Helena Conwell and the late countess.

But Jamie was a contrary man. Instead of being shocked to his toes, he threw his head back and laughed. “I don’t imagine you learned that efficient method of glove removal at Vassar. Are you sure you want to do away with them? I don’t wish to push you.”

She wasn’t sure, but she’d always hated to back down from a challenge. It always felt like failure. “They’re hot anyway,” she quipped, then she handed them to him. “Perhaps you have somewhere to stash these.”

He grinned. “I suppose overboard wouldn’t be acceptable?”

She wanted to kiss that smile off his face, but didn’t. She wasn’t brave enough to initiate a kiss. “We’ll eventually come to colder weather.”

He folded them and put them in his inside breast pocket. “I’ll return them eventually, then.” When he took her left hand in his, he stared at it for a long moment as a delicious shiver raced through her. Then he stroked a fingertip across the gold-and-onyx ring he’d placed on her finger the day they’d married for the sake of his daughter’s safety. “I will have to take care of this. You need a real wedding band.”

Why did he continue to pretend everything between them was normal? She wasn’t the woman he wanted and he wasn’t—No, she wouldn’t lie to herself. She was afraid of being hurt, but want him she did.

He led her to the door of the captain’s large aft cabin and knocked. The door opened as if the busy man had actually been awaiting them. “Lord Adair. Your ladyship. Thank you for allowing me to entertain you this evening.” He gestured them inside. “Come in. Come in. Welcome to my quarters. Dinner should arrive momentarily.”

On Jamie’s arm, Amber stepped inside the handsome room. Baker’s cabin reminded her of a library in a grand home. The walls were lined with cherrywood panels, his big desk sat before a wall that was the stern of the ship. Set in it were three square windows that were open, admitting the whisper of a breeze that teased her nostrils with salt air. They afforded a lovely view of the wide blue ocean.

A light lyrical air played on a music box sitting front
and center on Baker’s large desk. “Oh, how lovely,” Amber said, staring at the rosewood music box that had filled the room with its delightful tune. “May I?”

Captain Baker smiled gently and walked to the box. She and Jamie followed. “It is so lovely,” she told the captain. Delighted, she lifted the inlaid rosewood lid. Inside were the whirling golden works.

“I thought perhaps you’d find it as fascinating as I do.”

A knock at the door drew their attention. “Ah, that will be our meal,” the captain said and left them standing by the music box while he went to admit the steward.

They sat down a few minutes later to a meal Baker called New England fare. It was tasty and informal, both of which she was grateful for. She had just sunk her teeth into the tender corned beef when another knock came on the door. Baker frowned and called out, “Come.”

A cabin boy came in carrying a folded piece of paper. Baker took it, read it then sighed as he put his napkin on the table. “It seems I am needed to solve a dilemma of sorts. Please continue with your meal. I’ll return as soon as possible.”

“Perhaps we should join the other passengers,” Amber said, suddenly nervous at being alone with Jamie in so private a setting. Heart pounding, she twisted her napkin in her lap, noting that both Captain Baker and Jamie frowned at her. She felt like a complete ninny.

“Oh, I’m sorry, my dear,” the captain said into the strained silence as he stood. “They wouldn’t be ready to serve you in the dining hall. It’s perfectly fine for you to continue on here as before. Enjoy your meal and the company of your husband.”

Her pounding heart settled a bit until the door closed behind Captain Baker. “I am quite tired and not very hungry.” She got to her feet. “Perhaps I should…”

“Am I such an ogre that my wife is terrified to be alone with me?”

Oh, she hadn’t meant him to insult him. It was she who was the wrong woman. “Of course you’re not an ogre.”

“Then stay and talk with me while we eat. We can’t continue to avoid private moments or we’ll arrive in San Francisco still near strangers. Ask me questions. And I will answer and ask you some, as well.”

She sank her teeth into her bottom lip. She did want to know more about his marriage. “How long did it take you to realize you didn’t love Meara’s mother?” she asked and took a bit of potato off her fork.

Jamie finished chewing and set his fork down. “I might not be the most quick-witted of men about the ways of women, but you have steered me into dangerous territory. Are you looking for some mysterious woman’s way of linking my first marriage with the circumstances of ours?”

“I’m curious.”

Jamie nodded and gave her a small wry smile. “It was not a realization, Pixie. I never loved Iris. My uncle promoted the match. She was a beauty. The daughter of a businessman who wanted a title for his only child. My uncle knew her dowry would rescue the Adair estates.”

Amber frowned, confused. “I thought the aristocracy didn’t like to associate with people in trade. My friend traveled to London for the Season. Patience said she was pecked at zealously by most of the débutantes and
cut constantly by the others. Except, of course, by the fortune hunters who pursued her relentlessly.”

No sooner were the words out than she realized how insulting she must have sounded. “Oh, my. I’m so sorry. I’m sure that isn’t why you married your wife.”

Jamie stiffened almost imperceptibly. “
You
are my wife. And money and titles were at the root of my first marriage, but not on my part. I didn’t want the match. My cousin was in love with her, but he is a mere Mister. At my uncle’s insistence, I went to London for the Season to look for a bride. He sent my cousin Alexander off to Scotland on some pretext to get him out of the way.”

“He would do that to his own son?” she asked, then took a sip of her tea.

“Never doubt it. My uncle knew I wasn’t about to betray Alex by marrying the woman my cousin loved. But at the time, I didn’t see how determined Oswald was that I marry Iris. Then, at a ball, she lured me into the gardens, saying she had a dilemma she needed to speak with me about. I assumed it was about Alex, their feelings for each other and her father’s plans for her. But that wasn’t it at all.

“She told me she had no feelings for Alexander. That he’d made a pest of himself. She said she was actually quite taken with me. Then she went on to compliment everything from my eyes to my shoulders and even my thighs, for God’s sake! It was quite embarrassing. Before I realized what she was about, she was climbing into my lap. Her gown became disarranged showing more flesh than proper. That is when my uncle and her father discovered us.”

“Discovered or sprung their trap?”

Jamie smiled sadly. “Very astute of you, Pixie. I was too gullible to prevent the disaster in the making, however.”

“You can hardly blame yourself.”

“I betrayed Alex. I caved in to my uncle. I was young, stupid and, most appalling of all, I was weak. I was so conditioned to giving in to his demands that I agreed even though soon he’d no longer have any power over me. I fooled myself into thinking I was at least getting a passionate woman as my life’s mate. Alex returned to find I’d married the woman he loved. Our relationship hasn’t been the same since. After getting to know Iris, and seeing how much she wanted to be my countess—anyone’s countess—I came to believe she’d led him on to gather information on how to entice me.” Jamie stopped, looking more than sad. Haunted, perhaps. “Why else pretend feelings for him, then marry me? Except, of course, for Mimm’s theory that he fed her information on how to entrap me. He did tell her things about me, but I believed he was just making conversation.”

Amber wasn’t about to try to draw a conclusion. She knew none of those involved, save Jamie. “All this was arranged by the uncle you don’t trust?”

Jamie smiled bitterly. “My one and only. Thank God he’s only one man.”

His uncle’s actions made no sense to her. “Why wouldn’t he want his son to acquire her dowry?”

“Alexander hates his father as much as I do and Oswald knew he’d never see a jot of her dowry.”

“Did you give him some, then?”

“As earl, I am more or less obligated to take care of the entire family. But he’d miscalculated just how cowed
I was. Alex was the most important person in my life save Mimm. I reached my majority a month after the wedding and that was when Alexander returned, not wanting to miss that event in my life. I witnessed my cousin’s heartbreak at the news of our marriage. I found my spine that day, you might say. Though I hadn’t a clue how to run the estates or how bad the situation actually was, I tossed my uncle out on his ear. Months later, Iris’s father died and his entire estate fell into my lap, as well.”

“Then your uncle’s plan failed.”

“I have since come to understand there was more to his plan. The marriage was supposed to rescue the family finances. Once that was done, I think I was to meet my doom. Oswald would then inherit the title, lands and everything that went with it.”

Amber felt a familiar knot in her stomach at the thought of his dying. “What happened? You obviously didn’t meet with an early end. Has your cousin forgiven you?”

A strange look shadowed Jamie’s expression. After pressing his lips together for a moment, he nodded, but followed it with a shrug. “Meara’s birth made him come around, but we had another falling out when Iris was killed. He blamed me for her death. More so because I refused to mourn her. She was vain, selfish and unfaithful, not to mention a horror of a mother.”

He shook his head sadly. “Alexander never saw a fault in Iris and he took exception to my attitude. I left for America with Meara and Mimm after setting up trusts for Adair’s people and Alexander. I miss him and regret the loss of his regard, but I couldn’t be such a hypocrite as to pretend to feel what I didn’t.”

Why didn’t he mind pretending theirs was the mar
riage he wanted and not one to Helena? She immediately felt contrite. Who was she to judge? She was being just as dishonest by pretending she didn’t love him.

Jamie watched Amber. Instead of commenting, she stood and walked behind the desk to look out the windows. He wished he could read her mind. He never knew what she was going to think or do next. Yet she seemed to be able to read him as if he were an open book. Life with her wouldn’t be dull.

He was glad he’d left out his suspicion that his dear uncle’s last plot to kill him at Adair had backfired and killed Iris instead. Amber already knew there was a good possibility that Harry Conwell had died in his stead. With the death toll around him mounting, sooner or later he’d have to return home to do something about his cursed uncle.