HIS By Design -Coveting Claire (4 page)

“What're you smiling about?"

"Oh, just admiring the view," she told him,
nodding out to the ocean with a secret smile.

She kept her eyes on the ocean while he
helped himself to a brandy. Once he was settled across from her, a
comfortable silence passed between them. Claire took her eyes from
the scene and settled them on the man across from her, experiencing
a disquieting envy of the glass he held to his lips.  Pulling
her feet from under her, she sat up. This was getting out of hand.
 She almost jumped when he spoke.

"Well, are you going to tell me?"

She stared at him with wide eyes. Was he
really asking her to admit her newfound feelings? She felt foolish
when he elaborated.

"Why you're running away from New York."

Settling back in the corner of the couch, she
took a sip of her brandy, allowing the warmth of the amber liquid
to slip down her throat, fortifying her. His question had jolted
her from the building erotic mood back to the pathetic reality of
her actual love life. "I'm not running away.  I simply
took the opportunity of a transfer back home.”

***

Julian cupped his brandy glass in both hands
and settled his long frame deeper into the armchair across from
Claire. Earlier, he’d switched on the powerful patio searchlight.
The only unnatural light in the scene, it revealed the stretch of
sand and the gently lapping waves. Further out, the more turbulent
waters were apparent due to the full moon suspended eerily in the
night sky.  Oblivious to the hauntingly lovely view visible
through the wall of glass behind him, he didn’t turn to look. That
view was available to him often.  It had been too long since
he’d been able to feast his eyes on the sight of her illuminated by
moonbeams and firelight.

If only he’d indulged in enjoying that sight
a little longer before spoiling the mood by raising an obviously
fraught subject. He cursed his desire to provide her with the
confidant she clearly needed, swallowing as disappointment flooded
him. The eroticism that had been growing between them all evening
had entirely evaporated at his question.

He took a sip from his brandy, allowing her
some space before responding. "You don't have to tell me.  I
just thought you might like to confide in me.  You have in the
past."

Claire sighed.  “I would. It's just not
a subject I find easy to broach."

He probed no further, waiting for her to
speak in her own time.  

Hesitantly, she began to tell him, her words
picking up momentum as her story unfolded.  “We were assigned
to cover a fashion show together, me as the writer, him as the
photographer.  The mutual attraction was instant and we began
seeing one another.  Things were…I don’t know…amazing at
first. It was so…intense. I never knew I could feel that way. I
thought maybe…well you know. Except it started to feel so fast…too
fast. Too much, too soon. Especially when the connection became
more than personal. A few weeks ago, he told me some people he knew
were starting up a new magazine and they wanted us to join them.”
She paused and then added. "He also thought it was about time I
moved in with him."

Julian subdued a protective emotion, managing
to limit his comments to a dry observation.  "How gallant of
him."

Claire smiled at him indulgently. "Not
everyone gets married in less than a month."

Taking another sip from his drink, he didn't
reply.  How'd she known that?  He couldn't remember ever
telling her.  He shrugged mentally. No doubt it was public
knowledge.

Continuing, Claire’s words tumbled out in a
rush.  "I didn't feel I could commit myself to either
suggestion, but I didn't want to lose him, so I agreed to think it
over for a while.  He started pressuring me constantly for a
decision.  His persistence started to ruin everything.
 Our relationship suffered, my work suffered.  I'm sure
that's why John suggested I take this position. It's an ideal
chance really.  The job can last as long I like, but I can
transfer back to New York if I want.”

She paused and took a sip from her glass
before continuing. “I told Richard I thought it'd give us both some
badly needed space. Time to think.  He didn't agree. Blew his
top actually.  We had a bitter argument and he told me if I
took the job we could forget the whole thing. He never wanted to
see me again.  I couldn't let him emotionally blackmail me, so
I took the job and here I am."

Having unburdened herself, she sat back,
dangerously close to tears.

"And you're not sure you made the right
decision."

It was a statement not a question. Her face
showed gratitude at his easy understanding. Slowly, she nodded.

"Do you love him?"

Claire looked thoughtful.  Leaning
forward, her elbow bent on the arm of the sofa, her chin cupped in
her hand, she spoke softly. "I'm not sure how I feel about him.
 All I know is my reaction to him borders on violent.  He
affects me the way no other man has.  He has a strange power
over me.  Part of me wants him and the other part can't escape
fast enough.  He makes me feel excited and frightened at the
same time."

Julian spoke to her in a still, quiet tone
calculated to bring her back from the place to where she was fast
disappearing. Years of practice asserted themselves as the shield
he’d foolishly lowered sprang back into force. Considering the
tumult of emotion her confidences had betrayed in him, he was
surprised to hear the calmness in his own voice.  "Sounds like
you've got a bad case of it."

She looked at him quickly.  "Love?"

"Lust."

Bringing her hand down, she straightened,
staring at him open-mouthed.

"You're cruel."

He put his glass down. Standing, he gave her
a wry smile. He appeared to display only a friendly interest, but
he found he had to walk away in order to combat the swift, seething
jealousy flowing hotly through him at the image of Claire so
passionately involved with another man. He managed to keep his
voice cool. "No, just blunt."

"Lust can turn into love, can't it?"

He half-turned from the glass wall where he
stood, his hands in his pockets. He felt more in command after
placing a distance between them. He looked back at her, shrugging
in a seemingly unaffected manner. "I don't know.  I'm
afraid that's beyond my experience."

"Are you saying you've never experienced
lust?"  Her expression clearly declared if she could feel it
she saw no reason why anyone else should be immune.

He laughed, her petulant indignation
releasing some of his tension. He turned back to the glass before
answering her. "No.  I'm just saying it's never turned into
love."

She put her own glass down and joined him.
 Neither spoke for a few minutes.  He could tell she
found it comforting to be standing close beside him in the silence.
 Finally, she asked.  "Julian, do you think I made the
right decision?"

He turned her to face him, his answer
guarded.  "I can’t advise you.  As you made a point of
telling me earlier, you're a mature woman. You have to make your
own decisions."

"I'm not asking for your advice just your
opinion."

He was disinclined to answer at first, but
then he told her.  "If someone really cares about you they
don't make ultimatums. I think you made the right choice when you
walked away."

She breathed a sigh of relief and laid her
cheek on his chest, not noticing his indrawn breath. "I'm glad I'm
back here, I always feel safe with you."

Holding her finally so close against him, he
couldn’t stop his fingers as they encircled the back of her neck.
His other hand traced the curve of her body from under her arm to
the flush of her hip.  She murmured softly, his feather light
touch seeming to arouse a poignant emotion in her as she relaxed
against him. The sensation of his breath warm against her hair
caused an erotic sensation to ripple through him as his voice
shifted the strands ever so slightly.

When he spoke the timbre in his voice was
deep, laced with longing. "Has it ever occurred to you that your
trust might be misplaced?" He held her away from him allowing the
years of pent-up desire in his gaze to travel ardently over her
body. "You're not nineteen anymore.  You've grown into a very
lovely and desirable woman."

He watched as her arms moved unbidden by her
mind to encircle his neck, her head tilted, lips softly parted.
Julian found he could not resist her invitation. Her lips were soft
and warm against his own.  He gathered her pliant body close,
amazed at how easily she melted against him.  He trailed his
lips across her cheek, slowly, before bending to the pulse at her
throat and the identity of her perfume became known to him.
 Gardenias.

He held her closer as she drifted
languorously, the touch of her lips against his skin like slow fire
creeping through his veins.  Her arms entwined themselves
closer around him and her fingers crept up into the thickness of
his hair.  She moved against him as if loving the feel of his
hard, muscled length.  It felt so good, so right, to hold her
in his arms like this.  At that moment, he knew without a
doubt that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

He lifted his head, his eyes glazed, his
breathing ragged.  She smiled, her face revealing pleasure
that she could affect him this way.  Desire for him was plain
in her eyes. Her voice was soft, full of the knowledge of
womanhood. “I wasn't nineteen before I went to New York either,
Julian."

He still held her close in his arms, the
fingers of one hand playing idly along her back, debating on
whether he should remove the pins from her hair now or wait to see
it spill across his pillow as he’d imagined so often in the past
three years. Lost in those imaginings, her words brought him rudely
back to reality and to the knowledge that he’d totally blown his
cover.

His. Carefully. Guarded. Cover.

Claire held her breath as Julian sighed and
ran his hands through his hair, avoiding her eyes. "No, you
weren't."

"Why didn't you let me know?"

He expelled a long breath.  "Because I
wasn't interested in just an affair and you weren't ready for
anything else.  Neither was I," he added almost as an
afterthought.

Claire moved closer to him, provocatively.
 "And now?"

"Now?  I think you should go to bed.
 Alone."

She made a small moue of protest and reaching
up kissed him.  He didn't really mean it.  He was just
giving her the chance to back out if she wanted.  But he did
mean it.  Taking her head in his hands, he pulled her lips
gently from his own.

"You're hurt right now. Vulnerable.
 Going to bed with me might seem like a good idea, but it's
not going to help."

She felt him slipping away from her, but she
made one last effort.  “Don't you want me?"

His voice was exasperated.  "Of course,
I want you!  Can't you tell?"

They were still locked together. Yes, she
could tell.

"Now go to bed before I take you down and
throw you in the ocean to cool you off."

The marked difference in the nature of his
threat from the eroticism of the smacks he’d inflicted on her
backside earlier confirmed his determination to put a definite stop
to the sexual nature of their encounter. Regardless, Claire wasn’t
ready to give up that easily. Rubbing naughtily against his aroused
body, she baited him.  “Maybe you should take a dip
yourself."

Deliberately, he reached to the side and slid
back the glass door that was cleverly concealed in the wall,
although Claire knew of its existence.  Reluctantly, she
withdrew her arms from around his neck.

"Oh, alright!" She headed across the room to
the steps that led to the hallway leading to the bedrooms. "You’re
no fun!"

From his stance beside the glass wall, Julian
chuckled, obviously amused at how easily her demeanor had changed
from femme fatale to that of a petulant child.  He made the
obvious answer to her comment. "Stick around, one day I might let
you find out how much fun I can be."

She stopped at the top of the few steps and
posed against the corner, the provocative woman fully evident once
more. "Promises, promises."

Giving him a view of her exquisite back, she
sashayed down the hallway, her every movement an invitation,
delaying her entrance into the second bedroom to taunt him
enticingly. "I guess I really am safe with you."  Then she
disappeared backwards continuing her invitation.

Julian had one foot on the second step before
he managed to halt.

Claire stood in the bedroom, heart beating
erratically and hopefully. Her shoulders dropped resignedly when
she heard the glass door slide and then close, even from this
distance sensing his presence leave the house. Slowly she dressed
for bed.  He was probably right. She was still smarting from
her experiences with Richard.  As she drifted off to sleep,
the erotic dreams that disturbed her rest for the past week
returned.  Only this night the eyes in her dreams were not
blue, but green.

***

Julian stood on the raised deck off the
kitchen, the rush of the surf accompanying his solitude.
 Perhaps he should've gone after her.  He'd wanted to. He
so wanted her in his bed. Earlier, he’d thought that was where they
were undoubtedly headed. Remembering her hot looks over dinner and
her startled yet coy response to the light spanking, he felt his
cock harden tortuously. He’d wanted to spank her for years. She had
a gorgeous ass and he yearned to see her pale skin blossom with the
blush of erotic spankings. Not just erotic ones either. Once he
recognized his feelings for her, the disciplinarian in him craved
to correct her when necessary. She was pretty level headed, but at
the times she acted impulsively. Not enough to be dangerous, but
enough to push her luck. Her assumption that he would be there when
she arrived a day early without consulting him, along with her
smart remark about the hotel were points in evidence.