His 24-Hour Wife (The Hawke Brothers 2) (11 page)

His hand was warm through the fabric of her dress. She could stay like this for hours, just being close to him.

“I made a decision tonight,” she said, her voice dreamy even to her own ears.

“Just tell me it’s not about sleeping somewhere other than my bed tonight. I have plans for the removal of this dress.”

She smoothed her hands over his shoulders as they danced, loving the shape of him, and especially the freedom to touch him whenever she pleased.

“It’s about the future removal of dresses.”

He leaned back and looked at her with a hopeful gaze. “The fling?”

“It’s working for us, so it seems silly to stop at an arbitrary date like the wedding. I agree that we should continue while it still works for us.”

He lifted her off her feet and spun around. People made way for them and gave them indulgent looks, which was the advantage of displays of affection at your own prewedding party.

“I can’t tell you how happy I am about this,” he said as he settled her down again.

The song ended. The next one was modern with a faster beat, and she didn’t feel like dancing to it in the heels she’d worn, so she suggested they get a drink. As they went their separate ways in the crowd and fell into conversation with their guests, she found that they were looking for each other across the room, and when she would find him, his gaze would heat and she could feel the answering burn across her skin.

Continuing to sleep with him even after they no longer needed to pretend felt right. In fact, maybe it could turn into something more. Everything inside her lifted, glowed at the thought.

Obviously Adam would be resistant to the idea at first, but that was merely his fear. It shouldn’t take long for him to realize they enjoyed each other’s company, respected each other, had a passion unlike any she’d had before. They had shared intimate stories with each other about their backgrounds. When they’d first married, they’d practically been strangers, but this time...

This time it seemed to be a recipe for a happy marriage.

The idea was so bright and shiny that for a moment she forgot to breathe. Adam shot her a quizzical look from the other side of the room and she realized she probably had a goofy grin on her face. The older woman she was talking to patted her hand and mumbled something about brides and newlyweds then left, but Callie was still stuck on the sparkling possibility that she might have a real future with Adam.

She smoothed down her dress and found her composure, but inside she was still buzzing.

Could it work...?

Ten

F
eeling as content as she could remember, Callie sat in the backseat of the limousine, Adam’s arm around her shoulders, as they arrived back at his place from the marina.

The night had gone off without a hitch, and she felt closer to Adam than ever. Everything was wholly perfect.

“You awake?” he said softly when the limo pulled up.

She arched her neck back to look at him. “I am. Just thinking over the night.”

“My favorite part was our dance,” he murmured.

It was one of her favorite parts, too, but there was something that had underpinned the night, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on, that made the entire experience magical.

The driver opened her door and Adam released her with a quick kiss to her forehead before she stepped out.

They went through the routine of walking through the house and getting ready for bed, with minimal conversation but sleepy smiles, and within ten minutes, they were under the covers together.

“We didn’t get to talk much about your decision tonight,” Adam said, smoothing the hair back from her face. “But I have to tell you how happy I am about it.”

Callie snaked an arm over his waist and snuggled in. “I am, too. It feels right.”

A few minutes earlier, she’d been feeling exhausted, but now that she was alone with him, talking, touching, suddenly she wasn’t as tired anymore.

She started to trace a pattern over his torso. “Would you like me to show you how right it feels?”

His fingers traced a mirror image on her back of the pattern her hand was making. “Oh, I think I could be talked into that.”

She stretched to reach his mouth and kissed him. His breath was minty, his lips ready for her and hungry. Heat filled her body, and she moved farther over him, the abrasion of the light dusting of hair on his chest a delicious friction.

“Callie,” he groaned and pulled her tighter. “What you do to me...”

His skin was hot to touch, and she couldn’t get enough. She slid her palms over every square inch she could reach. The need to be close was the driving force, one she couldn’t resist. Didn’t want to resist. The man she loved was...

Wait
...

Everything stopped, even the breath in her lungs.

The man she loved?

Was that her mind playing a trick with words, or was it true? Stomach churning, she flicked through memories, feelings, any information she could dredge up until the pieces of the jigsaw started to fit into place—she’d been so incandescently happy tonight on the yacht as they talked about a future together. She felt herself light up from inside whenever she saw him. And it was his touch, and his touch alone, that she craved like a drug.

She flinched. Oh, yeah. She was in love with him.

What a stupid, stupid thing to let happen. This plan had never been about love—it was a straightforward arrangement to convince everyone else they were in love.

Had she fallen into her own trap? Believed the lies she and Adam had been spinning for other people? Perhaps pretending to be in love with Adam Hawke had seeped into her subconscious somehow and become tangled with her real feelings until now they were inseparable.

Whatever the cause, there was no doubt that it had happened. And now, instead of happy, it just made her feel emotionally vulnerable.

“Something’s changed,” he said. “Are you okay?”

She didn’t want to explain, not yet. Not until she’d had time to think it through properly. So instead, she hid her face against his chest and placed a kiss against the warm skin beneath her lips. “I’m fine.”

His abdominal muscles clenched as he lifted himself into a half-sitting position, trying to see her face. “Would you rather we stopped?”

She needed him now more than ever—needed the mindless moments and the release before she had to face the situation she’d created. She rolled onto her back and pulled him with her, until he was above her. “No, I don’t want to stop. I want you to stay close, as close as we can be. I want you touching me.”

His eyes softened, and he leaned down to claim her mouth in a scorching kiss before whispering against her lips, “Then stay with me.”

There was no mistaking what he meant—she must have zoned out for a few seconds after her realization, and her actions would have seemed more like an automaton’s. But staying emotionally engaged with him while making love now, while she was raw from the discovery, was like ripping out her still-beating heart and handing it to him. The only way to survive was to try to hold a little of herself back. At least until she had things clear in her head.

She kissed him again, taking his mind off his request, and moved beneath him in the way she knew would drive him wild. A shudder ripped through his body, and he kissed a path down the side of her throat, nipping at the sensitive skin, making her writhe. And then his hand was between them, working its magic until her hips bucked with wanting him.

And yet, a small part of her, detached and clinical, seemed to be watching them from above. Keeping her heart safe.

“Give me a second,” he said, and reached for the bedside table. He sheathed himself quickly and then was back by her side, making her feel beautiful and desired.

He lifted her knees and wrapped them around his hips, and she nudged him with her heels, impatient. Wanting. Always wanting with Adam.

As he entered her, she discovered that holding part of herself back hadn’t been enough. The intensity was too much. She squeezed her eyes shut, unwilling to risk him seeing everything she was feeling, but he wouldn’t let her keep him out.

“Open your eyes, Callie,” he said, and when she didn’t, he kissed each eyelid in turn. “Please don’t hide from me. Let me see you.”

The comment about hiding from him hit home, but it was the “please” that did it. Her eyelids fluttered open and she was confronted with Adam’s deep green gaze. It was unwavering, inviting her to fall away with him, and she did.

He moved within her and the pressure built, taking her higher, higher than she’d ever been, the intimacy of being joined with the man she loved overwhelming. His hands moved over her even as he stroked into her, and he whispered her name in her ear, roughly, as if he was as lost as she. Higher, she flew higher, until she hit the peak, crying out that she loved him, and then crested the wave, feeling him follow her, before slumping, spent, to her side.

For several minutes she floated on a blissful cloud, not moving, not thinking. But slowly, the nagging memory of what she’d said crept into her mind.

She’d called out that she loved him.

Had he heard her? She tried to remember if he’d reacted, but those moments were hazy at best. Was it possible that he’d flinched when she’d said it, or was that her imagination?

The worst part was, despite saying it without thinking it was true.

As she lay in his arms, she made herself face reality. She was in love with Adam. Head-over-heels, lost-her-mind-crazy in love.

And there were consequences of falling in love with Adam Hawke...

She couldn’t have a fling with the man she loved. Couldn’t stay married and share his bed until he grew tired of her. She’d end up with a heart torn to pieces.

And she couldn’t walk away—she’d made commitments to the trust, and to her bosses. And even after they were over, would she be able to walk away from him? Leave Adam when he still wanted her? She couldn’t imagine having that level of internal strength.

And that fact meant she needed another way forward. A new plan.

Adam curled into her, letting out a contented sigh, and she squeezed her eyes shut. She’d give herself this one night to enjoy him and then work out that new plan tomorrow.

* * *

Callie woke slowly the next morning, and before she was even fully aware, the memory of the night before came crashing back. She was in love with Adam. She’d told him—screamed it to him, actually.

Her stomach swam. She opened one eye, then the other, and found his side of the bed empty. She gave thanks for small mercies. She needed a few minutes on her own. More than a few, but she’d manage with what she could get.

She dragged herself into the shower and threw on some clothes, the whole time thinking through possible solutions. Several ideas occurred to her, but no one plan that would work for everyone. Keeping her feelings a secret was no longer an option thanks to her chattiness.

Unless...

What if Adam had changed his feelings, too, and was just as worried about bringing it up with her?

If he’d had a change of heart, or was at least open to exploring that possibility, then they could try a relationship for real. Sure, there would be a lot of pressure since they were already married, but nothing they couldn’t overcome with a little dedication.

She owed it to herself, to their relationship, to at least try.

She smiled. It was funny that only last night on the yacht she’d been having similar thoughts—that perhaps they could try to make things work. But then she’d realized she loved him, and that she couldn’t have a fling with a man she loved, waiting for him to become bored. And here she was now, full circle, wondering if there was a chance he would return her feelings, hoping...

Searching through the house, she found him on the balcony with a coffee in one hand, scrolling through online newspapers on his laptop.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he said when he saw her.

“Morning,” she said, not knowing how to start the conversation now that she was here.

“There’s more coffee in the pot, if you want some.”

Coffee would definitely help, and going to get it would give her a little more time to organize her thoughts. She headed into the kitchen.

When she ventured back to the balcony, steaming mug of coffee in hand, Adam closed his laptop and put it on a side table.

“How did you sleep?” he asked, and then watched her over the rim of his mug as he took a sip.

She tucked her feet up under her on the deck chair. “Pretty heavily, I think.”

She was surprised she’d slept at all, given that her mind was worrying over what her heart had been busy doing, but the exhaustion must have caught up with her.

“Me, too,” he said, and she knew from the look in his eye that he was crediting their presleep lovemaking.

The lovemaking that had brought her face-to-face with reality. She took a breath. It was time. If she didn’t address this now, it would only drag out.

“Adam, there’s something I want to talk to you about.” She took a sip of coffee for courage and he waited. “About us.”

“If you’re embarrassed about what you said, don’t be.” He shrugged, as if it was nothing more than telling him the coffeepot was empty. “People get carried away in the heat of passion.”

She blinked. That answered the first question about how he’d taken it last night. If she wanted the coward’s way out, all she had to do was nod, agree and change the subject. Everything could go back to how it was before she’d blurted out the truth during her release.

Despite part of her wanting that easy route, she knew it wouldn’t solve anything. She couldn’t live with their current plan of continuing their fling after the wedding, until Adam wanted to move on. It would be Adam moving on, not her. She was in love and here for the long haul. And waiting around for the ax to fall? Purgatory.

The only way forward that gave her a chance to keep her sanity intact was to tell him the truth and give him the chance to rise to the occasion.

“So this might seem crazy,” she said, noting the waver in her voice but being unable to doing anything about it, “but what if I wasn’t just ‘carried away’? What if love has crept into the equation for us?”

He was suddenly alert. Every muscle in his body seemed to tense, his gaze sharpened. “You know that was never part of the deal.”

Carefully, she put her mug down on the little table between the chairs and found his gaze. “Well, it seems there’s some bad news coming for you. Because I love you.”

He looked dumbstruck. “No, you don’t.”

Annoyance wriggled in her belly. “You don’t get to tell me how I feel.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry, I was just caught off guard.” He rubbed a hand over his eyes. “Okay, thinking on my feet—maybe this will work well for our marriage.”

His solution hit her with the force of a brick in the center of the chest. He thought she would stay in a one-sided marriage? It took her long moments to even find her voice again.

“Adam,” she said slowly and carefully, “I don’t want a sham of a marriage for the rest of my life. I don’t even need a big wedding, second or otherwise. All I need is a man I love, who loves me back.”

His face went white. “I’ve been up-front with you. You know that can never be me.”

And there it was.
The death knell to her hopes and dreams of a future with him. She was vaguely surprised she was able to sit straight in her chair, unemotional. If she’d been considering options earlier, she might have thought she’d dissolve into tears, but part of her felt detached—the part that was keeping her safe. Whatever it was, it was helping her dignity in this moment, so she was grateful. There would be time for grieving later.

Adam still looked at her, pale-faced and dismayed, and she realized she needed to release him. He hadn’t done anything wrong. In fact, he’d stuck to what they’d agree on.

“It’s okay, I know.” She even tried to smile for him, but couldn’t quite pull it off. “I know. I guess I just hoped...”

He pushed out of his chair and crouched down in front of hers, finding her hands and squeezing them. “I’m so sorry, Callie. I really am. But I can only offer you the plan we agreed on. I wish it was different.”

The moment he took her hands, any illusion of detachment or control over her emotions evaporated. The full force of her life falling apart hit her and she started trembling, deep inside. She gulped in air, trying to keep herself balanced. Adam frowned even more than he had been and stroked her forehead; but pity was not what she wanted from him, so she shakily removed his hand. He didn’t release her other hand, however, or move from crouching in front of her chair.