Highway Song: A Smokey's Roadhouse Novel (23 page)

Rex had an announcement to make at dinner. He and Mark had persuaded the substitute drummer, Chad, to join the band. Unfortunately, they weren
’
t so lucky with the rhythm guitar. I never caught his name, though Chad called him Fingers. It sounded like a Mafia name to me. He couldn
’
t tour with us because he had a couple of kids and a sickly wife. I thought he
’
d rather go with us than stay, so I admired him for being a good family man. They seemed to be few and far between these days.

We also had a gig. Mark had been busy. Knowing Rex wanted to stick around in Seattle to hear the results of the competition and be available for interviews if we won, Mark had found work to supplement our dwindling supply of cash. That was lucky, since I had only about enough left to pay for our rooms and food for a couple more days. That two thousand bucks went a lot faster than it had come.

Fingers agreed to play that gig with us. It was a peculiar time for it. Most bars could only afford live music on Fridays or Saturdays, the biggest nights of the week for sales. Mark explained that this was a bar near the university campus with a clientele who showed up for live music any night of the week. There was usually a trivia night on Tuesdays, but we
’
d been offered a show after it was done. Tuesday it was.

That left Sunday night and all day both Monday and Tuesday to do whatever we wanted except for a couple of hours
’
rehearsal each day. Our impromptu rendition of
“
Have You Ever Seen the Rain?
”
had gone over so well that we added it to the repertoire. We
’
d need three hours of songs, not one, for this gig. The band had plenty of familiar material, but Rex wanted to include me wherever he could, which required some adjustments. We added modern Southern Rock bands to the mix, along with some Bob Dylan, and even a few blues classics. Next to Janis Joplin, my favorite singer to cover was Etta James, so I lobbied for
“
At Last
”
and eventually won the guys over.

After Monday
’
s rehearsal session, we had the playlist down tight. We hoped Tuesday
’
s would perfect the way it came together as much as possible.

SEVENTEEN

Rex
 

I
’
d only known her a week, and yet, I couldn
’
t imagine a future without Amy. She fit right in with the band, once we wrapped our heads around the idea of combining our music with hers. The guys liked her, and the response of the crowd on Sunday gave us the confidence that it was a winning strategy. However, we had to learn to play the songs that weren
’
t yet in our repertoire. Giving them our own Southern Rock flavor was going to be one of the things that set us apart, and she had to learn to sing them that way. So we had a long rehearsal schedule on Monday.

After we were done, we all scattered to our own pursuits. Cole and Axel had developed an obsession with the Space Needle and headed there to play tourist. Mark was still working the phones, lining up a way for us to make a living out here on the West Coast while we were here. The rhythm guitarist and our new drummer had gone home, though we
’
d see both of them tomorrow. Chad was a competent drummer, at least as good technically as Ike, but maybe not so daring. We
’
d get him dialed in to our sound soon. I was worried about rhythm guitar, though. Despite Amy
’
s insistence that I could do it, I wasn
’
t that good.

And why did she insist, anyway? She
’
d seen me pick out a melody on a guitar, but she had no reason to know I could play. When I asked about it, she tried to pass it off as women
’
s intuition. I couldn
’
t shake the feeling there was more than met the eye.

I thought maybe the way to get back to that closeness we
’
d shared when she gave me her story would be to get her alone in our room and fuck her. I hoped it would loosen her up enough to get her to tell me the parts I knew she was holding back. What could possibly be worse than she
’
d already told me? How could I get more of her story, without giving up some of mine? And why should I worry about giving up mine? It wasn
’
t nearly as dramatic as hers. Maybe I wasn
’
t as ready to commit my heart as she was, and that in itself was a paradox.

I suggested we catch a nap and then a movie. Amy was agreeable, so we went to the room after lunch.

“
This isn
’
t just a ploy to get me in bed with you, is it?
”
she asked.

“
I need a ploy to get you in bed with me?
”

One slow wink later and she was lying half over me, twining her bare leg with my jean-clad one. Our hunger for each other hadn
’
t waned, but it had become less like a starving person
’
s need to stuff as much in his mouth as possible. We could savor the quiet communication of our bodies without succumbing to passion, at least for now. After we knocked the edge off, I held her, stroking her naked form absently. She liked that.

“
Tell me about your family, Amy. You said you ran away at fifteen. What caused that?
”

I expected a story of abuse, and prepared myself for it. Nothing could have prepared me for what she told me, though. She didn
’
t remember her mother, or know what happened to her, only that she didn
’
t have one from her earliest memories. It seemed she
’
d been isolated from early childhood, with no other relatives than her dad, and no neighbors or friends to tell her what her father wouldn
’
t.

There were a string of women her dad brought home, but none lasted long because he was physically as well as verbally abusive. She only understood that after one woman tried to hold out, Amy thought for her sake. In the end, that one left, too, and then Amy was the one who bore the brunt of her father
’
s anger.

She was genuinely puzzled about where the anger came from. My heart was crushed by the knowledge that she
’
d run from the frying pan into the fire, as my mom used to say. She hadn
’
t been on her own for more than a couple of days when the scumbag who
’
d taken advantage of her vulnerability picked her up.

And then it was my turn to talk.

“
Let
’
s talk about you. How and where did you grow up? No, wait, I know where. You came from near where I grew up, didn
’
t you? We have the same accent. Do you have family?
”

I hesitated. I
’
d changed my name even before Mom died, but somewhere out there was my fucking sperm donor, the man who abandoned his pregnant wife as soon as he knew she was pregnant. But not before punching her in the belly and almost killing me before I was born. Amy was hiding, too, though, and had much more to lose than I did. I didn
’
t want a hassle if my biological father ever learned about me. She could lose her life. I was being a paranoid jerk.

“
I grew up in Texas, like you, yes. My dad was absent. My mom kept trying to find someone to take care of us, but she had a talent for finding people a lot like your dad.
”
Was it my imagination, or did she turn white when I said that?
“
She died a few years ago, way too young. Pneumonia. I still miss her. I guess we
’
re both on our own.
”

“
No brothers or sisters?
”
she asked. I got the feeling she knew the answer, but it was pretty obvious. She was just filling the time with conversation.

“
No.
”

Her head rested on my shoulder, and her body relaxed against mine bonelessly, like a cat. She shifted subtly as I answered.
“
Me, neither,
”
she said in a small voice.
“
I used to fantasize I did.
”

Amy

W
e
’
d strayed into dangerous territory. If I stayed with him, that talk would have been my last chance to tell him who I was. Letting it go past without saying anything sealed the consequence. I couldn
’
t stay and let my feelings for him grow even more intense. He
’
d see the omission as the lie it was, and the betrayal would destroy us. So there could be no us, but I didn
’
t have the strength to break away yet. Just a few more days
…

To mask my melancholy, I suggested we go after Axel and Cole and see this marvelous Space Needle they were so eager to explore. We invited Mark, and the three of us decided to make an evening of it. The famous rotating restaurant would be a great place to experience the Needle. With a flourish, Mark produced a hoarded credit card with a couple hundred dollars left in the limit. We were set.

I didn
’
t keep a smart phone. When I had a cell phone at all, it was a prepaid one, and I had no one whose numbers I needed to store. Fascinated with the enormous screen on Rex
’
s, I watched him send a group text to Axel, Cole, and the new drummer, requesting they meet us at the SkyCity restaurant. After receiving their replies, he used the phone to make an online reservation.

“
I didn
’
t know you could surf the web with a phone,
”
I said. It was just one of the consequences of living on the fringes of society. I couldn
’
t have told you what the popular TV shows were, either. I hadn
’
t seen a movie in ages, because they were too expensive, and books had to be left behind too often when I had to leave a place in a hurry. I could get used to the perks of living like a normal person, but it wasn
’
t going to happen. Ruthlessly, I pushed the longing down.

I was pathetic. In about a week I
’
d gone from knowing I had to avoid this situation at all costs to flinging myself headlong into it and into his arms. I knew what I had to do, but not how I
’
d be able to do it. It was better not to get used to cities and modern conveniences, if I was going back to hiding in backwaters. And, of course, that was skirting the real issue.

It was better not to get used to being close to Rex if I had to give him up. I
’
d come right back to my reluctance to reveal our old relationship. Damned if I do, damned if I don
’
t. It was impossible to think about, because there was no right answer.

The Seattle skyline at night was beyond breathtaking, even if I was a bit queasy from the slow progression of the buildings and lights as the restaurant rotated. We
’
d had our fill of the late afternoon views before eating. The food was incomparable. I
’
d never had anything like it, and I wolfed it down when I wanted to slowly savor it. In the magic of the moment, I forgot about the tough decisions ahead and simply enjoyed everything the evening had to bring.

I found I didn
’
t want to be cooped up indoors after spending some time on the Needle
’
s observation deck. We descended and the group broke up, some going to the movie I
’
d declined, some going back to the motel or home. I asked Rex if we could walk around the city. Despite a light rain, we enjoyed the challenge of the hills for a while. When it began to rain in earnest, we hailed a taxi and went back to the motel.