Highly Illogical Behavior (11 page)

I
t had been a very important weekend so far and despite being dangerously sleepy, Lisa drove Clark home with a rush of energy and excitement pumping through her veins. She knew he was on board now, especially after seeing the way he'd hit it off with Solomon. Lisa was overwhelmed with the feeling that she'd done something great by introducing the two of them. Now they'd have each other to talk holodecks and spaceships and she'd have her ticket out of Upland. Everybody would win.

“Thank you,” she said to Clark when they got to his dad's.

“For what?”

“For this weekend. For not being too pissed at me to meet him.”

“I'm still a little pissed,” he said, smiling. “But I had fun. It's so . . . easy with him. Like I've known him forever. I think maybe I've been needing a Solomon Reed in my life.”

“Is that right?”

“He's way better than my other options.”

“I've met them, yes,” she said. “TJ was asking about you at school yesterday. He made some stupid joke about you being a ghost.”

“Good,” he said. “I don't have anything to say to those guys anymore.”

“Why's that?”

“Because they're jerks. Seriously, if they aren't making fun of someone then they're talking about whose girlfriend they want to bang.”

“Gross.”

“Yeah it is. And, look, I laugh sometimes. But then I feel like shit all day afterward. I'm not like them. And I don't want to be.”

“I don't want you to be, either,” she said.

“Well, while you've been hanging out with the coolest crazy person in history, I've been pretty much sitting around the house doing nothing. I know this is a big deal to you, but you can't just disappear. What if I don't get into a school near you, huh? You want to spend our last year together hanging out with someone else?”

“Look, I'm sorry. But, now you can come with me. See? It works this way.”

“So, it's share you or be alone?” he asked, complete amazement in his eyes.

“No. That's not what I meant. Just, forgive me, okay? I'll do better. I will.”

“Fine. You know Janis is pissed at you, too, right?”

“I have several unanswered texts that would indicate so.”

“You should go see her,” Clark suggested. “I know she's ridiculous, but you've been friends your whole lives.”

“I haven't even told her about Sol. Like, not a thing.”

“Well, there's only one way to fix that. I'm sure she'll understand.”

“She'll want a boon,” she said. “Justice is very important to her.”

“Me too,” he said, leaning over and kissing her forehead. “I'll see you tomorrow, Dr. Praytor.”

The next day, Lisa woke up to a fight in the kitchen between her mother and Ron. This one was a doozy—slamming cabinets, yelling, a threat or two. She stayed in her room until it was over. But even then, she took her time going down the stairs, hoping to go undetected.

“Lisa?”

“Damn,” she said to herself, rounding the corner into the kitchen. “Yeah?”

Her mom was sitting at the table in a silk robe and house slippers stirring a cup of coffee. This wasn't going to be pleasant, Lisa knew, but she had to do it. She couldn't just leave her mom alone like this, not after the fight she'd just heard.

“Are you okay?” she asked, sitting down across from her.

“Been better.”

“I don't really know what to say, Mom.”

“I know, sweetie. Me neither.”

“Did he leave?” Lisa asked, reaching for her mom's cup of coffee and taking a sip.

“Yep.”

She started crying, holding her chin to her chest, but not moving a muscle. Just quiet little whimpers that made
Lisa so angry. Why did she do this to herself? Why keep marrying the same man over and over again? Lisa didn't know how she could still be so surprised. Ron was a carbon copy of the one before him. And Lisa was pretty sure they were both just less charming versions of her dad. Sometimes she wondered if maybe she was crying over him, after all these years—if every new guy was just a poor replacement for the first one who left her.

Lisa reached a hand over and placed it on top of her mom's. She held it there, her thumb gripping her mother's fingers tightly, and then let go.

“Let me tell you about Solomon,” she said, standing up to pour herself some coffee.

“Who?”

Lisa explained the whole situation to her mother, trying to distract her the only way she knew how—with something that closely resembled gossip. Her mom had wondered why she'd insisted on switching dentists, so this cleared some things up. Lisa, of course, left out the part about the scholarship essay. She couldn't risk being talked out of it, not after everything had been falling into place so well. And now with Clark on her team, she felt like getting Solomon out of that house was inevitable.

“Wait, wait,” her mom interrupted. “You
and
Clark are hanging out with this kid?”

“Yes. He needs us, believe me.”

“What kind of parents let their child act that way? Never leaving the house? Not going to school? Sounds like he needs a beating to me.”

“Wow, Mom.”

“No one wants to go to school, Lisa. Most kids would stay home all day if you let them. That's why you
don't
let them.”

“I told you, he has a legitimate mental illness, Mom. Be more sensitive, please.”

“They say that about alcoholics, too. They have a
disease
. Yeah right. The rest of us are supposed to feel sorry for all the drunks? Gimme a break.”

“You should write for
Psychology Today
or something. Very inspiring stuff.”

“Sorry. Well, good for you. And Clark. Just don't get into any trouble.”

“Trouble? I don't even think that's possible with Solomon.”

“I didn't think it was possible with three different husbands, but look where I am now.”

“With an intelligent, beautiful daughter and a stable job?”

“Funny,” she said. “You know what I mean.”

“Mom,” Lisa began, wanting so badly to just be honest, to tell her she had to stop looking for her happiness with these deadbeats. But she couldn't do it. “I love you.”

“I love you, sweetie. Want me to make you some lunch?”

“No thanks. I've got to go talk to Janis. I've been neglecting her for weeks and I'm pretty sure she's pissed at me.”

•   •   •

Janis Plutko worked in the Montclair Plaza Mall at a kiosk that sold perfume and Fossil watches. Before Solomon, Lisa would stop by several times a week and they'd eat
cookies from the Great American Cookie Company in the food court and watch YouTube videos on their phones. On the rare occasion that Janis had a customer, Lisa would inundate them with free samples and usually end up talking them into at least buying something from the clearance rack. Janis always had her best sales days when Lisa showed up.

“Hey, you,” Lisa said when she walked up to the kiosk. Janis turned her way and gave a sort of half smile.

“Look, I know you're pissed. Just let me take you to lunch so we can talk it out.”

“What's to talk out?” she asked. “Some people just grow apart.”

“Oh my God, really?”

“Lisa, I've barely seen you for a month. Do
not
treat me like I'm being irrational.”

“Sorry. Just come to lunch with me. Can you take a break?”

She grabbed her keys off the counter by the register. “I've only got fifteen minutes.”

They sat in the fairly crowded food court and shared some fries and a milk shake. Lisa couldn't get much out of Janis, but she tried her best. They'd been fighting on and off about stupid things since the fifth grade but she seemed really upset about this one, and Lisa knew she'd have to come clean about Solomon to be forgiven.

“Can you keep a secret?”

“Maybe,” she whispered, leaning forward over the table.

“I've been working on a project. For college.”

“What kind of project? Your cousin? Did you talk to him?”

“No. Do you remember the fountain kid?”

“Of course.”

“I found him. He hasn't left the house in three years. I've been hanging out with him for weeks. He's going to get me that scholarship, Janis.”

“Are you being serious right now?” she was still whispering, but it was getting louder with every word. “You
found
him? Are you insane?”

“No,” Lisa said calmly. “I'm going to save his life.”

Janis leaned back in her seat and shook her head for a few seconds with her eyes fixed on Lisa.

“Anyway, I'm really sorry I've been so flaky lately. But, I've made a lot of progress with Solomon. I think I could really be on to something here. With the right combination of game therapy and long-term social exposure, I could have him ready to face the world again by this fall.”

“Lisa . . . you're pretending to be this boy's friend so you can write about it and get a scholarship.”

“I'd hardly call him a boy. He's just a year younger than we are.”

“Do you not understand why this is wrong? Because you're the smartest person I know and if you can't see this then I need to reevaluate a lot of things in my life.”

“I get it,” Lisa said. “But just like I told Clark—it's a means to an end. It's effective. If something works, if it cures him, then why does it matter
how
it works. He will never know
and
he'll be better. At this point, finding out is the only thing that could hurt him.”

“And I guess you made it that way on purpose?”

“God, you act like I'm a con artist. I want to help him.
I've wanted to for a long time. You remember. Now I get to help him
and
go somewhere to learn how to help more people. What's wrong with that, Janis?”

“Let me meet him.”

“No way,” Lisa said.

“Why not?”

“He's not ready. He's still getting used to me. And he just met Clark. I can't overwhelm him.”

“He's hanging out with Clark, too? Geez, Lisa, what kind of therapy is this?”

“Like I said. It's experimental. He just needs to learn that he doesn't have anything to be afraid of out here.”

“Maybe he should be afraid. Did you consider that?”

“No,” Lisa said, staring at her blankly.

“So I'm supposed to just forgive you for completely vanishing on me because it was all to help some crazy kid?”

“He isn't crazy,” she snapped. “He just has a bad relationship with the world.”

“He hasn't left his house in three years. That sounds crazy to me.”

“He has acute agoraphobia brought on by severe panic disorder. When he leaves his house, his panic gets worse. Any one of us would do whatever we could to feel safe, just like he's doing. It's survival. But, that's no way to live and no matter what he says, I know he'll be happy out here. And we deserve him.”

“Fine. Whatever. I forgive you, okay? But I don't approve.”

“You don't have to. Just don't tell anyone. It could ruin everything.”

“Fine. But I need a favor.”

“Shit,” Lisa said. “Don't say it.”

“Camp Elizabeth. They need one more junior counselor and I know you had fun last summer no matter how much you try to pretend you didn't.”

“Oh God. I can't, Janis. I purposefully kept my whole summer free to try and help Solomon and I . . .”

“Lisa,” she said, crossing her arms. “You owe me. Come with me to camp and I'll forget you abandoned me like a dog.”

“Okay . . . chill out a little.”

“A
dog
, Lisa. A diseased dog. Left to fend for myself in the wilds of Upland High School. It's only two weeks. Starts June fifteenth. Say yes.”

“Fine. I'll make it work. But I'm not teaching canoe.”

“They need you to help teach canoe.”

“Damn it.”

•   •   •

Later that day, after Lisa had finished all her homework, she called Clark to see if she could come over. She figured a whole weekend hanging out with a stranger had earned him a little one-on-one time. Plus, she couldn't remember the last time they'd even made out.

“We should go see Sol,” he said.

“Again?”

“Yeah, why not? I'm pretty sure he's not busy.”

“I'm totally down,” she said. “Unless you'd rather . . . umm . . . do something else, if you know what I'm saying?”

“Nah, I think we should see Sol. Maybe later?”

A little thrown off, but happy to continue with Solomon's treatment, Lisa called to see if he was game for visitors
and, judging from his tone, he'd probably been waiting by the phone all day. She couldn't imagine what it had been like for him—to go so long without anyone but his parents or his grandma to talk to. And even though she felt like she'd made a lot of progress over the last month, it seemed like Clark had brought out something new in him . . . something less self-conscious and more confident. Maybe he was trying to impress him. Or, maybe Solomon just thought he and Clark lived in the same world, with the rest of us drifting in and out and never really understanding things like the intricacies of Klingon-Human relations or what the hell a khaleesi is.

When they got to Solomon's house, the Angels game was on and the whole family was watching it in the living room. They all watched the last three innings together and Solomon's mom would occasionally shout at the TV, which made Clark laugh every single time.

“She's very passionate about sports,” Solomon said.

“And Sol's very passionate about making fun of his mom,” Valerie added. “We almost had another kid in the hopes that we'd get a sports fan.”