Highlander's Ransom (23 page)

“Say something, lass. Your face changes by the
second.”

“I’m just…I feel so…” Words failed her, so instead she
flung her arms around Robert’s neck and hugged him tight. He returned the
embrace and chuckled. But he let the jocund sound fade as he sensed the depth
of her emotions. He wasn’t sure what he had said that tapped something so
powerful within her—his trust in her? His use of her given name? Something
about family?—but he felt suddenly protective of her. He never wanted to hurt
her again in any way, and would kill anyone who did. Her hair spilled across
his face, and he let himself inhale her intoxicating scent, of roses and skin,
vowing to do right by her.

“And what of Daniel,” she said, clearly trying to even
out the emotion in her voice and resume their previous conversation.

“He is with my mother’s brother, who has a small
holding to the west of here. My uncle William has been having some health
trouble, and his eldest son is but eleven years old, too young to take over in
his father’s stead as Laird. Daniel is filling the gap, so to speak, helping to
ensure that our uncle’s keep runs smoothly, and that, if it comes to it, little
William will be ready to take over as Laird.”

Before Alwin could ask, Robert anticipated her
question. “My mother and William were very close. When she died giving birth to
Daniel, William stayed with us for several years to help my father in the
raising of us. You see, we three boys were all born within a year of each
other. It was too much strain on my mother. My father blamed himself at first,
but William was wonderful, reminding my father that my mother would live on in
all of us. Daniel held that message especially close to his heart, and he sees
it as a way of carrying out our mother’s wishes to help William out now.”

A quietness filled the room for several moments as
Alwin considered all that Robert had said, and Robert lingered over his
memories. The sound of Alwin’s yawn broke the silence, and Robert chuckled as
she tried to stifle it.

“I’ve already stolen much sleep from you tonight,
lass. Rest. No doubt you’ll dream of three men, all breaking hearts with this
handsome visage.” She swatted him again, but he merely pulled her snuggly
against him, and she acquiesced, relaxing into sleep.

Chapter 32

Alwin stirred awake at the soft knock on the door. She
stretched, warm and content, but found herself alone. The door inched open and
Stella’s head popped through.

“Come in, Stella. From the look of the light, it’s
high time I was up,” Alwin said, trying to clear the sleep and heated memories
of last night from her mind. “Where is Robert?”

“The Laird is back to the training fields, my lady,”
Stella said, bustling about the chamber tidying things that didn’t need it.
Alwin looked closer and saw the hint of a smile at the corners of Stella’s
mouth, though. Alwin didn’t mind. She was grateful that the head servant saw
the Laird’s happiness with his wife as a victory.

And she was happy with him as well. She let the warm
feeling radiate through her whole body. What had she done to be so lucky? She
didn’t know how or why, but she and Robert seemed to have an innate connection.
She was coming to trust him, and she already respected him. That would have
been more than she would have gotten from a union with Raef Warren. But to have
their marriage be blessed with such an…intense physical connection was
remarkable. And he had been tender and funny and open with her in their
conversation in the early hours of the morning. Perhaps her fantasy of a loving
union would be possible after all…

She was suddenly eager to do all that she could to
bring her dream to reality, to have a marriage not only in name, but in heart
and mind as well. But what could she do to ingratiate herself to him, to show
him that she cared for him? Several ideas began to formulate in her head. She
threw back the covers as Stella came over to help her dress, feeling energized
to have a task and a goal.

“Stella, are there any records about the Sinclair clan
that I might look at?”

“Aye, mistress, the solar is filled with those kinds
of documents,” she said with a raised eyebrow.

Alwin brushed away her curious look with a smile.
“Excellent. I’ll be in the solar today, then, if anyone asks. And this time,
I’ll try to stay awake.”

Alwin coughed as a cloud of dust rose from yet another
of the Sinclair clan ledgers. She had already spent hours going through the
solar’s collection of books, which had been tedious, yet she could proudly say
she knew more about the clan than when she had entered.

For one thing, she knew that they needed a better
system of keeping records. Much of her time had been spent sorting out the
different recording styles of various authors, most of whom were either Lairds
or the heads of staff from years gone by. Some filled pages and pages with
stories of the clan’s victories in battle, recipes, songs, and legendary tales
of love lost and found, while others wrote only the births, deaths, and other
major events in the clan’s history. Each author’s penmanship and abbreviation
systems changed, and on several occasions, Alwin had had to put her face mere
inches from the page to decipher what might as well have been chicken scratch.

She had managed to glean much, though. Apparently, the
Sinclairs had both Saxon and Norse bloodlines. William St. Clair, a French relative
of William the Conqueror, was given Roslin some centuries before, incorporating
a French name and bloodline with the original inhabitants. Then a group of
Norse Vikings had called Roslin home, and despite intermarriages between the
French-Scots and the Norse, the Sinclairs bucked against outside control and
regained self-reign. Nevertheless, Robert’s ancestors were a mixed and rather
violent lot. She could see the Saxon in him—his dark hair spoke of that. But
the Norse was strong as well, in his icy eyes and enormous frame. She could
only imagine what part of him came from the wild, fierce original inhabitants
of this beautiful yet unforgiving land.

Setting down the heavy volume in her hands on Robert’s
desk, she arched her back and circled her neck, trying to ease the aches from a
morning spent bent pouring over books. Even as her body protested, though, her
mind raced. This was better than any stolen moment in her father’s old library.
For one thing, it wasn’t a secret that she was here, nor was she forbidden to
learn, as her father had done. And she had a purpose beyond being pretty and
proper. She was determined to learn all that she could about her husband’s
family—
her
family. Having a goal kindled her spirits, making her feel
useful and productive. Why had her father insisted on taking such a feeling
away from her? She guessed that he hadn’t wanted her to feel as powerful and
driven as she did now. She would never come back under his control, though, she
reminded herself. And, she thought suddenly, she would never raise a child like
that.

The thought of a child—Robert and her child—sent all
thoughts of her father flying. That child would join this history, this string
of ink on the page that she had just been pouring over. And come to think of
it, her name would also be recorded in these ledgers. She was part of this
history, part of the clan, part of its future. The idea sent a wave of emotion
through her. She had a home now, a place to be herself. And she refused to be
just a name scrawled next to Robert’s. She wanted to leave her mark.

A growl from her stomach brought her swiftly back to
earth. She smiled ruefully at her own lofty musings and stood to descend to the
great hall for the mid-day meal. She was only human, of course, but she promised
to herself to return to the solar as soon as she had taken care of her bodily
needs in order to keep feeding her mind.

Chapter 33

It took several days hunched over in the solar, but
Alwin had slipped the last of the dusty clan record books back in its place on
the shelf that morning, and couldn’t wait to show off her new knowledge to
Robert. His respect mattered to her. She nearly skipped toward the great hall
for the midday meal, knowing she would get to share a quick bite with him, as
she had in the past few days. They had developed a pleasant routine—more than
pleasant, she thought, heat creeping up to her cheeks. For the last several
days, Robert had risen early to see to the most pressing needs of the keep and
his clan, hearing complains, solving disputes, and signing off on household
maintenance requests. Meanwhile, she had gone to the solar for the morning
light, and to drink in all she could of the clan’s history. They would meet in
the great hall for the midday meal, where even over the simple vitals of bread,
cheese, dried meat, and apples or dried fruit from the winter stores, they
would talk, laugh, and brush hands under the table. Then Robert would head to
the yard with his men to train, and Alwin would join Stella or Nora in some
household task or other. By the evening meal, Robert would enter the hall
sweaty and tired, but always found a hot meal laid out for him and his men,
thanks to the coordination of the women running the keep. Alwin took special
pleasure in making sure the household ran smoothly, and warmed under the praise
of Robert and the others for their meal. But the real pleasures came later in
the evening, when she and Robert would retire to their chamber. If she had ever
had a doubt, she knew for certain now that whatever passion they shared wasn’t
a fluke, and seemed to only build the more they explored each other. She was
still a bit shy, but was an eager student. Yes, she could get used to this.

With a smile still playing on her lips at that
thought, she entered the great hall. Robert was already there, talking quietly
with Burke. She took her seat next to him, and he turned to her, bringing her
hand up to his mouth to brush a kiss against her knuckles. His eyes lingered on
her, bringing another blush to her cheeks. Somehow he seemed to be thinking
along the same lines as she so often did throughout the day. Now that she knew
what was possible between married people—between lovers—she couldn’t stop the
images and memories from flitting to her, often at the most inconvenient times.
Luckily, the clear draw between the Laird and Lady of the castle only seemed to
bring the clan more joy. She had already caught Stella, Nora, and the other
serving girls giggling at one of her momentary daydreams while working in the
kitchen, and the men of the clan seemed to be slapping Robert on the back more
than usual. Alwin didn’t mind. She would enjoy the pleasure of being part of
the clan’s happiness.

“How go your studies?” Robert asked, her hand still
raised close to those enticing lips. He knew she was spending her mornings in
the solar, but hadn’t prodded her about why she was so interested in the clan
records.

“Very well. In fact, I have finished my task and
already have my sights set on a new one,” she replied with a proud smile.

He nodded, brushing his lips once again against her
knuckles before releasing her hand and turning back to Burke to continue their
discussion about the increasing tensions between two families within the clan.
From what Alwin could gather, an arranged marriage had fallen apart when two
starry-eyed lovers had run away together. She repressed a smile. Though clan
unity was important, and it was Robert’s job to care for his people, she
couldn’t help feeling for the two youths.

When the meal was through, Robert rose and headed out
to the yard for more combat training, but not before shooting Alwin a heated
wink. Her mind wandered again to the promise in his sultry look, a promise she
was sure he would deliver on later tonight. She shook the haze of desire from
her, though. She had work to do. A particular task had been bothering her for
several days now, and she finally felt ready to tackle it: the housekeeping
ledgers. As she had suspected on her first day at the Sinclair keep, the
ledgers, while functional, were tangled due to Stella and Nora’s different
record-keeping styles. She couldn’t blame the two women too much, though, since
she suspected the underlying problem was the fact that Robert wasn’t around
enough to set a system and instruct his household staff to follow it. But now
that she was the lady of the keep, she intended to create a smooth-running
operation that would make life easier on both Robert and the staff. She smiled
to herself, feeling proud that she was doing something to help the clan—her
clan.

In the afternoons of these last few days, she had been
assisting Nora and Stella, which had helped her understand the functions of
this household, which, to her relief, were very similar to the kind of
instruction she had received as part of her training to become the lady of a
keep. She had also stolen a few more glances at the ledgers and was pleased to
see that most things had been accounted for. Last winter, however, the castle
had run dangerously low on dried meat, since someone had misrecorded or misread
the ledger. Luckily, they could remedy the problem early enough in the winter
before the deer had moved too far into the wooded area on the southern portion
of the Sinclair lands. Alwin intended for there never to be a confusion like
that again.

She found Stella and explained her intention while the
older woman gazed upon her with approval. Stella gladly handed over the
ledgers, which she kept in a small room in the interior of the castle, and even
suggested that Alwin take them up to the solar where the light was better. With
a spring in her step despite the increasingly stormy day brewing outside, Alwin
made her way to the solar for the second time that day and plunked down in
Robert’s chair with a quill.