Highland Vow (14 page)

Cormac watched Elspeth shed her cloak, then move to check on a sleeping Alan. Now that he had contacted Isabel, he could see his path more clearly. Elspeth was fever in his blood, but Isabel was the woman he had loved for ten years. He had feelings for Elspeth that he could not deny. He was undoubtedly infatuaded with the girl, but that could not be allowed to make him break his word to Isabel. It all sounded so reasonable, yet it did little to settle his sudden unease.

As Elspeth told him about meeting her cousin James at court, Cormac relaxed. The rest of the day passed in pleasant conversation, play with Alan, and a fine meal. As Elspeth settled the baby in his bed, however, Cormac felt his uncertainties return. He felt as if he stood on the edge of some great precipice with a dangerously strong wind pushing at his back.

He had just arranged a future meeting with a woman he had been involved with for ten years, a woman who was free and whom he had vowed to wed. Yet as he watched Elspeth undress, he knew he would continue with his plan to indulge in a long, lust-filled night with her. He reminded himself that Elspeth had set herself in his bed and asked for no promises. She shared the passion that ate at him and never pressed for more. She also knew all about Isabel, about the vow he had made. Despite that stern lecture, when Elspeth slipped into bed beside him and he took her into his arms, he had the gnawing feeling that he was betraying someone. But who? Isabel because he felt such a need for Elspeth and had actually considered breaking his word for her sake? Or Elspeth because he bedded her even though he knew he would soon have to set her aside?

“Ye look troubled, Cormac,” Elspeth said as she snuggled up close to his warmth.

“Do I? Mayhap that is because I ache, but I am nay sure I have the strength or ability to satisfy that hunger,” he said, sliding his hands down her back and gently caressing her taut little buttocks.

Elspeth smoothed her hand down over his stomach, smiling faintly at the way he trembled gently beneath her touch. She found him hard and eager for her. Almost idly, she stroked him, loving the way he murmured his pleasure, the way his breathing grew
unsteady, and the sound of his heartbeat growing faster beneath her ear.

There was no doubt about his desire for her. Elspeth decided her last toss of the dice would be to use that passion to its fullest, to revel in it, and force Cormac to do the same. She was going to leave him so sated, so filled with heated, delicious memories that he would never be free of her, no matter how far away he might send her.

Cormac groaned as Elspeth covered his stomach with soft kisses and teasing strokes of her tongue. When she took her kisses lower, he shuddered. Raising himself up on his uninjured arm, he watched her love him with her mouth. He threaded his fingers through her hair and held it out of the way so that he could see her tongue stroke him and watch as he slipped in and out of her mouth. He could not think of anything that had given him as much pleasure in his life, and he fought for the strength to enjoy it for as long as he could.

Finally, unable to endure any more, he tugged her up his body. They both gasped with pleasure when she lowered herself onto him. Cormac pulled her face down to his and kissed her—a slow, thorough kiss that revealed his hunger and made her share it.

His hands on her slim hips, he urged her to move, but she just smiled. “Do ye mean to drive me mad, angel mine?”

“Aye, mayhap I do.” She caressed his broad chest with her hands and moved ever so slightly. “’Tis always so quick. I always wish it to last so much longer. I just wish to be still and feel.”

“Feel what, love?”

He watched her close her eyes. Her head was tilted back slightly, her long hair brushing against his thighs. There was such a look of pleasure on her face, a beautiful expression of innocent yet sensual delight, it was almost enough to finish him.

“To feel ye inside me,” she whispered. “To feel how ye fill me.”

The rich huskiness of her voice only added to his desperate need for her, and not at all surprised to hear his voice tremble, he said, “Elspeth, my sweet angel, if ye have even the smallest wish that we take this journey together, ye best move. Now.”

Elspeth moved. At first it was slow and easy, as they both fought to cling to the knife’s edge for as long as possible. Then their hunger consumed them. She needed no urging from Cormac, knew instinctively when it was time to cease playing with each other. His words of encouragement as she rode him were unnecessary, but she loved the sound of them. Even as her release tore through her body, he gripped her tightly by the hips and held her still as he plunged deep inside of her to spill his seed. Still trembling faintly from the power of it, Elspeth collapsed in his arms.

“Ah, love, ye will age me before my time,” Cormac said, brushing a kiss over her forehead. “All things considered, I believe I must reconsider the number of times we can enjoy this dance tonight.”

“Oh? How many times were ye planning on
dancing
?”

“Fifteen.” He laughed at her look of shock, then kissed her when she scowled at him even as her eyes sparkled with laughter.

“We wouldnae be able to walk for a month,” she said as she slipped out of bed and fetched a damp cloth to clean them off with. “I think six at the most.”

He laughed again, and after they had washed themselves, he watched her sidle up the bed a little to place the cloth in a bowl of water at the side of the bed. As she turned back to him, he caught her around the waist and pulled her close. Her beautiful breasts
were level with his mouth and he took quick advantage of that.

Elspeth combed her fingers through his hair as he feasted on her breasts. She murmured with a mixture of pleasure and regret when he moved his kisses to dance them along her ribs. Pleasure tumbled through her as he covered her stomach with tender nips and heated strokes of his tongue. It was not until he hooked her leg over his shoulder that she realized what he planned to do. She suddenly became all too aware of how they were positioned, how much he could see, how bright the candles shone, and she tensed.

“Nay, angel, nay,” he murmured, licking the inside of her thigh. “Let me pleasure ye. Let me taste your sweetness.”

It was to be a night to remember, for him as well as for her, she reminded herself. There was no place for shyness or hesitation. She was in a fight for her very heart. Closing her eyes, she willed herself to relax and think not of what he could see, only of what he could make her feel. Silently, she gave him permission to do as he pleased.

He proceeded to drive her mad. Several times she reached out for the sharp pleasure of release, only to have him somehow hold her back. He teased and taunted her with that rich prize until she was nearly begging him and then he let her soar. Even as she was still trembling from that delight, he started all over again. A second time. A third. Until Elspeth collapsed, almost senseless. When she recovered, she paid him back in kind.

They dozed, then made love again. Elspeth was a little astounded at how often they reached for each other. They were like greedy children gorging on sweets. She sensed the same desperate need in Cormac that drove her. Dawn was lighting the sky as they again soared to the heights together. She collapsed in his arms, certain she could not even move a finger.

“How is your leg?” she finally asked, then yawned as she slid off him and curled up at his side.

“The left one is fine. The right one aches a wee bit. The middle one will need a splint.”

Elspeth laughed and lazily swatted him. “Wretch. Ye cannae blame me. I believe I was sleeping peacefully when ye ravished me awake.” She thought idly that, after the night they had just indulged in, if she had one tiny scrap of modesty left it would be a miracle.

“Ravished ye awake, hmmm? I like the sound of that.” He yawned even as he said, “Alan is humming.”

Hearing the soft drone coming from Alan’s cradle, she smiled and closed her eyes. “That is fine. He will do that for a wee while, sleep another hour or two, then start again. I have time for a nice nap.”

“Ye can sleep through that?” He slid his hand down her back and brought it to rest on the soft curve of her backside.

“’Tis a happy sound.”

“Mayhap he wants some attention.” Cormac did not think he had ever felt so completely exhausted or content.

“Aye, but if I give it to him, he will expect it every morn at this hour.”

“Ah, weel, ignore him then.” He smiled when he heard her sleepy giggle. “Have your rest then, angel. I promise to leave ye unravished. In truth, I dinnae think I have another ravish left in me anyway.”

A few hours later Cormac woke to the sound of Alan humming and sucking on his fingers. At the same time, Elspeth’s fingers and tongue were bringing Cormac swiftly to the point of aching need. He reached down, grabbed her by the ankle, and swung her around so that he could return the compliment. He gave her her first releasequickly, then settled back for a long, leisurely enjoyment, knowing that this time they had the will to slowly savor what they could make each other feel. Then Elspeth did something very clever and exciting with her tongue and Cormac decided he might just be wrong about his powers of endurance.

Elspeth grimaced a little as she left the sleeping Cormac’s lax hold and slipped out of bed to get dressed, for she ached in some very interesting places. She washed and quickly put her clothes on, for there was a slightly chilly bite to the air. As she fed Alan, she watched Cormac sleep. She felt oddly proud of having so thoroughly exhausted him, yet a little embarrassed about some of the things she had done to put him in that state.

She shook away her doubts. If the man did not remember the night they had just spent with fondness and a return of the passion they had shared, he did not deserve another one like it. She had done her best and, Elspeth smiled, she had enjoyed every wild, sweaty minute of it.

Now, she thought as she settled Alan back in his cradle, it was time to leave Cormac alone. After some of the things she had done and allowed him to do, she was not sure she wanted to face him right away anyway. A little time away to calm herself and accept her own behavior would probably be for the best. The important thing, however, was to give Cormac some time alone to think. He had not had much of that since he had led her out of Sir Colin’s tower room. They had been together constantly, battling Sir Colin and their own passions. As she crept out of their room, intent on finding herself something to eat, she prayed that whatever thinking Cormac did, it led him down the path she wanted and needed him to go down.

Even though her body still ached, Elspeth smiled faintly as she left the inn and began to walk to the court. They were the pleasant aches caused by vigorous lovemaking and she savored the memories provoked by each one. Her skin still felt flushed from the kisses and sweet words Cormac had brushed against her flesh. Elspeth felt sure that she had finally reached his heart, that she had at last stirred far more than his base lusts. Surely no man could speak such intoxicating words to a woman or make love to her so sweetly unless he loved. The three little words she ached to hear would soon follow. Cormac just needed time to think about everything and see the truth and she would idle the whole day away if needed to give him that time.

“So ye are alive,” drawled a deep voice from directly behind her.

Elspeth squeaked with fright, whirled around, and then squealed with joy when she saw who stood there. “Payton! Thanks be to God!” She flung herself into his arms and covered his face with kisses. “I feared that foul mon had murdered you.”

“’Twas a near thing, lass. They did kill those two lads with us. Ere I bled to death, however, I was found by a shepherd and nursed, and word was sent to Donncoill.” Payton glanced around, took Elspeth by the arm, and dragged her over to sit on a bench in front of a tavern. He quietly urged the four men with him to go have an ale, then turned to face Elspeth. “Did Sir Colin hurt you?”

“Nay. He had no time ere Cormac rescued me,” Elspeth replied, clutching Payton’s hand in hers, almost afraid to believe that he was really there, still a little pale, but alive and well.

“So his friends said. But why bring ye here? Why not ride to us?”

“Cormac felt this was the shortest and safest way to come. And this was where he was headed ere I joined him.”

“Aye, to see the fair Isabel.”

There was a hard, almost sneering tone to his voice, and she frowned. “Do ye ken the lady?”

“Some.”

The way Payton said that one word and would not meet her gaze told Elspeth a great deal. “Ye have bedded her.”

“Once.”

“Only once?”

“’Twas enough.” Payton sighed and ran a hand through his thick red-gold hair. “I dinnae ken how to explain it to ye, lass. She devours a mon. I dinnae think I was supposed to be aware enough to see, but there was this look in her eye that stole all the delight away. I have ne’er believed in such creatures, but if there is such a demon as a succubus, she would be one.”

“Ah, poor Cormac,” she murmured.

“How can ye feel sorry for the fool? The way ye say his name tells me that ye feel something for him, yet how can ye feel pity for him when he chases after a whore like Isabel?”

“How can I not? And ’tis not pity, truly—just sympathy. Aye, I care for him. I love the poor, blind fool. I think he may love me, but he doesnae see it yet. Ten years of loyalty to Isabel makes him blind to all else. And he has made a vow to her. ’Twould take too long to explain, but trust me, it could weel take more than I can do or give him to
make him break a vow. I think I have begun to make him see the truth, but I am nay so sure I wish to put it to the test just yet. Sadly, I dinnae believe I have any more time to play this game. Ye are here and I believe I just saw that succubus slinking toward the inn where I left Cormac, abed and unprotected.” Elspeth frowned as she quickly stood up. “In truth, that black-hearted sorceress shouldnae be going near him at all. She said she would send for him, not come and find him.”

“Have ye met her?” Payton asked, idly watching the come-hither sway of Isabel’s hips as she walked toward the inn.

“Aye.” Elspeth poked him in the arm to gain his attention and frowned at his unrepentant grin.

“No harm in looking at the beauty, lass.” He grew serious again. “She has seen ye as a threat.”

“Me?” Elspeth found that almost laughable, for in her eyes, Isabel was all that men claimed to crave.

“Aye, ye.” He smiled faintly and kissed her on the cheek. “Ye are a beautiful woman, Elspeth.”

“But she—”

“I ken it. She is beautiful in ways the poets and minstrels trill about. That doesnae change the fact that ye, too, are beautiful. And Isabel is verra ugly inside, lass. She kens it and she also sees that your beauty goes to the bone.”

“Cormac hasnae been completely faithful to her for these past ten years.”

“Aye, but I would wager there were none like you. You are no tavern slut or common wench. Ye are someone he could marry, someone who could take the heart that bitch has kept clutched in her fist for so long. She goes now to tighten her grip, to recall him to that love he has sworn for her.”

“Oh. And remind him of his vow. That is somewhat distressing,” she murmured, but her mind and heart were screaming at her to move, to race to the inn and try to stop what Isabel was going to do.

“I will wait here for you.”

Elspeth sighed, not surprised that Payton had guessed her feelings, but not sure she liked it. “I am nay sure it is wise to run o’er there. I may be tempted to try to make him break his vow and that would nay serve me weel in the end. And I cannae be his strength either, e’en if he was looking for some to fight her allure.”

“And why not? The mon has given her ten years of his life. When the rest of us lads were romping freely through lust’s fields, he was following her, believing her a poor martyr to her kinsmen’s greed. Just because he continues on that path doesnae mean he likes it still, doesnae mean he has no doubts, that the bond hasnae been weakened or e’en broken. No one likes to think that he has wasted ten years, that for all his sacrifice and hurt, he has no more than he had at the start of the ordeal.”

“Let us just say that he has finally thought of some way to break his vow and hold on to his honor. All ye have just said should give him the strength he needs to cast her aside.”

“Aye and nay. He may wish to do it, but if he does, he admits that he has wasted ten years. The mon may weel need a strong nudge to do that. Go, lass. Let him see what he could have. Let him see the worth of what he now holds compared to what he continues to reach for. Ye dinnae and ye will e’er wonder if it would have helped.”

“I dinnae wish to actually see and hear how badly I have lost my gamble,” she whispered.

“Because ye gave all that any lass can give a mon?”

“How could ye ken that?” Elspeth worried that there was some look she carried that told Payton she was no longer chaste.

“I ken how ye think, lass, for we have e’er thought alike. Ye want the mon—a mon who feels tied to another. I suspect ye looked at the problem of Isabel, gathered what knowledge ye could, and quickly saw the bitch for what she is. Since there was no need to respect the woman’s claim on Cormac, ye decided to turn him your way. And how to do that, how to catch and hold a mon who believes himself in love with another? By giving him everything, by holding him close and warm, by seeping into his blood and heart, and by feeding his want until that too belongs to you.”

“Ye think ye are so verra clever, dinnae ye?” she grumbled.

“Weel, aye, I am.” He met her look of disgust with a wide grin. “’Tis what I would do, lass. I would try to make my lover see only my face, crave only my touch. If my lover wavered, undecided, I would want to be sure I have left enough need and joy in heart and mind so that, if I had to leave, my memory would refuse to be shaken off. Aye, and mayhap the change of heart I sought in my lover would come once I was gone.”

“I am a coward.”

Payton laughed softly and hugged her. “Nay, just reluctant to be hurt. Only a fool wouldnae hesitate to have her heart broken. Ye are no fool. I wish I could assure ye that there will be no hurt dealt, but I havenae seen ye and that fool together. I cannae judge. All I can do is tell ye to stiffen that bonny backbone and face it, put yourself in his sight to remind him he now has a choice. If he is too much the fool to take it, if he cannae see that a vow made to a whore isnae one that should be kept, I will be right here, lass, ready to take ye home.”

She leaned back and eyed him sternly. “And ye willnae go and
speak
to him if he does prove to be a fool.”

“Cannae I?”

“Nay, ye cannae. This is all my doing. I saw what I wanted and I reached for it. If I get my hand slapped away, ’tis my fault. I didnae e’en stop when I realized there was far more to fight than another woman, that there was this tangle of vows and honor and Cormac’s need to clean away the stain his parents have soaked their names in. I dinnae need my kinsmen rushing in to repay some imagined insult with their fists or their swords. The decision was mine and mine alone. In truth, the mon was verra hard to seduce.” She smiled faintly when Payton laughed.

“A gentlemon, eh?”

“Verra much so and all knotted up with thoughts of all he owed me and the Murrays.”

“But ye overcame all of that.”

“Aye.” She blushed faintly. “I discovered that what my mither told me was true. I am like her. I felt what he felt. I kenned that he desired me. ’Twas odd, and a bit of a shock, when he first kissed me.”

“I have always wondered on the truth of that,” said Payton, his beautiful eyes alight with interest. “I fear I scoffed at such things. I felt it all carried the taint of magic, of some romantic imagining.”

Elspeth nodded. “So did I. Aye, and I was most embarrassed to hear my own mither speak of such things. But I swear to ye, Payton ’tis the truth. I felt his desire. It fed my own, intertwined with it, and I think, in some small way, he felt the same. ’Tis verra difficult to explain, for I am nay sure I understand it.”

“It may be born of the same thing that helps ye tell when someone is lying.”

“Ah, aye, some odd gift that aids me in feeling what others feel. ’Twould explain a lot.”

“So ye should feel more sure of yourself, more able to confront Cormac, for ye must ken what he feels.”

“Some, aye. The desire, the gentleness, e’en a caring. But I also feel his confusion, his doubt. Aye, and his pain. I ken that I have made him happy, and if not for Isabel and a vow made, he would be mine without question. But there is an Isabel and there is a vow, and the conflicts I have raised in him concerning that woman, and mayhap his own honor, have made him verra unhappy. I fear I didnae have enough time to turn him completely, and I also fear he hasnae had enough time to decide what he wants or what he really needs. Yet ye are right: I must face it.” She pulled free of his light embrace and took a deep breath to steady herself. “The moment of truth is upon me and I cannae stay here hiding from it.”

“I pray ye will find the truth ye need.” Payton kissed her on the cheek.

“I pray I do as weel, but be prepared to leave this place. If I find that he is still caught tightly in Isabel’s web, that he cannae e’en consider that there may be a way to end the tight bond of his youthful vow, I willnae wish to stay here.”

“Not e’en to fight for him?”

“I have done that since escaping Sir Colin’s hold. If all I have done isnae enough to make him at least hesitate to return to Isabel, then I shallnae linger at his side.” She started to walk toward the inn. “I just pray that, if he chooses to cling to that bitch, I can control my hurt and anger enough to depart with some scrap of dignity.”

“Isabel,” Cormac cried in surprise as the woman stepped quietly into the room. “Ye said ye would send for me.”

He eased himself up into more of a seated position against the bed pillows. The walking he had just done may indeed have strengthened his legs, but for the moment, it left him as weak as a babe and he cursed the ill timing of her visit. Cormac would have liked to face her clearheaded and steady on his feet. He realized that he also wished she had not come to him in the room he shared with Elspeth. What puzzled him was that he did not feel embarrassed to have Isabel see him sprawled on the bed he shared with his lover, but he did feel that he was betraying Elspeth in some way.

“I couldnae wait to see you, my dearest love,” Isabel said as she hurried to his side of the bed and took his hand in hers.

“Nay? ’Twas ye who said I must wait to see you.”

She tensed as she heard the distinct sound of a small child babbling. Her gaze lit upon the large basket and the small child contentedly playing with its toes. She grimaced with distaste at the sight of it as well as the huge gray cat seated next to the child, watching her with what she felt was a steady, malevolent look in its yellow eyes.

“Yours?” she asked.

“Oh, nay, Elspeth rescued them. The bairn was cast aside to die and the cat was
being tormented.”

Isabel studied him through narrowed eyes, hoping he saw the look as a flirtatious one cast from beneath lowered lashes, and not the wary perusal it was. Matters were worse than she had realized. Cormac had not yet kissed her, had not even made an attempt to do so. She could see none of that desperate hunger in his gaze that she had become so accustomed to. The little Murray bitch was obviously keeping him well satisfied. But should she display a jealous anger, or should she be hurt and tearful, or should she just simply pretend that the Murray woman did not even exist?

She decided to get angry first. If he reacted badly, she could always resort to tears after that, pretending the anger was bred of her pain. Cormac always weakened when she cried. When he attempted to soothe her, while his sympathy was strong, she had always been able to steer him in the direction she wished him to go. At the moment, that was as far away from skinny Elspeth Murray as she could push him. She would try to do it without revealing her secret, but if forced to it, she had one very strong weapon to use—something that would surely pull Cormac back to her side and keep him there.

Cormac was hers. She had taken his innocence, and although she suspected he had not been completely faithful to her, she felt sure that he had strayed only a few times. He saw her as a sweet innocent, a victim ill used by her family and her husbands. Isabel found that both amusing and enchanting. Cormac was also handsome, young, strong, and virile. Perhaps a little too virile, she mused, for three times she had tried to rid herself of his child. He was her creation and the one true constant in her life. He gave her love, more faithfulness than any other, honor, and gallantry, and she knew she deserved none of it. She had no intention of losing all that, however, and certainly not to some little woman from a clan whose only claim to reknown seemed to be their skill at breeding.